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It was a sunny day so far. The perfect weather for a little stroll. Which was why, instead of going home after school, Mabel went straight down the street to visit Mrs. Nelson's flower shop. The middle-aged lady with the shoulder-length black hair and the warm brown eyes always had a great collection of colorful flowers and could tell you all about them, from the meaning of each one down to how to care for them.
She didn't need any advice though. She already knew which one to buy. After all, she had always been buying the same kind of flower each spring. And so, after a little chat with the shop owner about her family, Mabel left the building with a little flowerpot, out of which grew a little purple hyacinth. The teen made sure to stop and sniff the flower for a while, basking in the sweet scent and the warm sun shining down on her.
Once she got her flower, she kept following the main road, running into some familiar faces here and there and greeting every one of them, before taking a left turn through a big park and into the less populated area. The playground was bustling with children and their parents and Mabel took another stop to stare at them for a while.
There was Sara's mother, talking with a friend of hers, while keeping watch on Sara's younger brother. There was little Caitlin trying to build a sand castle in the sandbox. There were two siblings, brother and sister, play-fighting over a teddy bear and at the sight of them Mabel finally had to avert her eyes and move along.
After that it wasn't long until she reached the place she was looking for: The local cemetery. The girl had been here numerous times in the past and so knew which way to go to find the right grave. Unlike the park and the streets, the cemetery was pleasantly quiet. Only a few elderly people were here, slowly strolling along the paths or sitting on the benches.
Mrs. Rogers was sitting on her bench like usual and she promptly roped Mabel into a long conversation, telling her all about her grandsons recent graduation and her cat, Muffin. Mabel smiled and laughed throughout the story and told the old lady about her own family in turn. About how her parents were planning a vacation for them all and how her two great uncles were doing on their journey through the ocean.
She kept the smile on her lips, even after the conversation was over and she finally reached the grave that she had been looking for. She knelt before it, carefully setting the flower down, before addressing the grave itself.
“Hey, Dipper.”
There was no answer, but Mabel liked to imagine that there was one. That her brother was listening to her words and responding.
“Sorry for being a bit late, but Miss Summer wouldn't let us leave sooner. You know how she is, when the class gets too unruly...” She raised her shoulders in a small, helpless apology, her smile not once faltering.
“Anyway, you won't believe what happened today. You remember Julie, yeah? Well, she still didn't have the courage to talk to Mandy today, even after that little get-together, so I took things into my own hands. I wrote a pretty, little love letter - using my finest heart stickers and everything - pretending to be Julie and snuck it into Mandy's backpack.”
She had puffed out her chest while retelling that scene, clearly proud with herself for her own handiwork. That letter had been a pretty good fake.
“And you know what? It worked!! Mandy was so totally smitten over it that she confessed to Julie right away! I mean, yeah, Julie was a bit angry with me at first over that letter, but it finally worked. Another happy couple thanks to Mabel!” She raised her fist up in triumph, beaming down at Dipper's grave, imagining his reaction if he was here in person.
This was a regular occurrence for her. Whenever she visited her brothers grave, she made sure to keep him company for a while and update him about all the latest things going on in her life. Sometimes it felt as if her brother was really here, as if his spirit was right by her side and communicating with her, though she could never definitively prove it. Still, it was nice to imagine it as truth.
“Mom and Dad are already planning our next vacation. They haven't decided on the location yet, but I do hope we can visit Gravity Falls again. I kinda miss my friends there. And I wanna see what new attractions Soos has for the Mystery Shack. Plus, Waddles would probably like it as well.”
She absentmindedly plucked a wild daisy and played with it in her hands and her smile grew fond as she thought about her friends in Gravity Falls. Last she heard of them, Candy was already planning for college and Grenda had been visiting Marius again for two weeks. The two were still very happy together after all these years and Mabel in turn was happy for them. Just as she was happy for Julie and Mandy. It was nice that at least her friends were finding successful romances of their own.
For a moment her mind drifted back to one of her past boyfriends and the one with which she had the longest relationship with, before swearing off boys for a full three years and her otherwise carefree smile became strained at the thought.
Gabe...
Looking back on it she really couldn't understand what she ever saw in him. He had been self-absorbed, arrogant and way too absorbed in his own hobbies to pay enough attention to his girlfriend. Even when Mabel had been at her lowest point and needed him the most, he couldn't provide her enough emotional support. And there was also what had happened with Dipper...
Mabel let out a long, suffering sigh. The smile on her lips was now completely gone. Even now, five years later, the guilt was still fresh.
Like so often in the past she wondered what Dipper had been going through in the last moments before Bill had thrown his body off that tower. Had he been scared of his imminent death? Or angry at Mabel for not helping him when he needed her? The same way she had been angry at herself when she had found Bill's note in the car and realized the extend of her failure.
The teen shook her head to dispel these thoughts. Positive, she had to stay positive. She didn't come here and visit Dipper to remind them both of his death and so she promptly changed the subject.
“Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford have sent me another package. They are doing really well on their journey. They even sent me a nice red pearl from this magical oyster that they found. I completely forgot what it was called, but if you want I can bring the letter along next time and read it to you. I know you like all this mysterious, nerdy stuff. Just like Grunkle Ford.”
Again her smile slipped a bit. Dipper's death was a shame, really. He and Grunkle Ford would have probably gotten along quite well...
“I still don't know what to do with the pearl. I've been thinking of making a necklace out of it, but I don't really wanna ruin it by drilling a hole through it. Then again, just having it lying around in my room is kind of a waste as well...” She spoke halfheartedly now, unable to think of any more interesting topics. She had already told Dipper all the news she had for today.
Her gaze went up to the sky for a moment, to the slow moving clouds and the sun. It was getting late. She would have to leave soon to get home on time for dinner.
“Well”, said Mabel and forced a bright smile back on her lips. “I gotta go soon. It was nice talking to you, Dip Dip. I'll let you know next week how the get-together with Brian and Emily went. I hope they won't pick one of these stupid horror movies again.” The teen shuddered a bit at that thought. She hated horror...
She slowly got up to her feet and looked at the daisy still in her hand. It was completely ruined now after she had absentmindedly played with it all this time. A soundless sigh escaped her lips as she dropped the ruined flower onto the ground and grabbed her backpack.
“Oh and Dipper?”, she started one last time and her voice became serious for a moment. “I'm sorry. About not helping you back then... About having been a bad sister to you.”
It was the same excuse she had said to him yesterday. And last Wednesday. And last Tuesday. And last Monday. And the week before that. And the month before that. And the year before that. And pretty much every single time she had visited him since his death.
She didn't know if she had already said those words enough.
She didn't think she ever would.