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You would think as often as they talked about them, Dick and Wally would get tired of delving into the rabbit hole that is conspiracy theories. They never do. The duo had been sitting in the living room of the cave for an hour one Monday evening, talking solely about aliens.
“Dude, do you think you could convince Batman to give us a mission to break into Area 51 and gather, er, information? Ya know, quick recon mission.” Wally asked through a mouth full of chips. Dick rolled his eyes.
“What, was Cadmus not enough for you, Walls?”
Wally paused. “Huh, never thought about it that way. Wait, do you think Cadmus and Area 51 are, like the same thing?”
“They aren’t.”
“How do you know?”
Dick suddenly became very interested in his phone.
“Dick, how do you know?”
“You do realize that we know like, a dozen actual aliens, in real life?” Dick asked the speedster. Wally squinted his eyes and pointed at his best friend.
“Are you changing the subject?” He asked.
Dick continued as if Wally hadn’t even spoken, “And you act like Hal hasn’t literally taken you into space!”
Wally huffed and grabbed another handful of chips from the bowl on the coffee table and shoved them in his mouth, deciding to let Dick have his way. For now.
“Like, honestly, aliens aren’t even a conspiracy anymore! Everyone knows about them at this point! It’s not like the League is exactly hush-hush about the fact that, like, half of them are aliens! J’onn’s name literally has the word ‘Martian’ in it!” Dick kept ranting.
Wally laughed suddenly and shook his head.
“Dude, if it really gets under your skin, what you’ve gotta to do when conspiracy theorists start bringing this stuff up is present them with an even more outlandish theory, and just keep one-upping them,” the red-head commented. Dick was silent for a moment, then cackled.
“Of course the Queen of England is a lizard person; she’s just trying to protect her planet. Lizard people were here first, and humans are aliens who invaded. That’s why there are so many stories about what alien invasion could be like, because we were the first to invade!” Dick quipped.
Wally snorted before rebutting with, “The reason some people think the Earth is flat and some people think the Earth is round is because the Earth is actually a cylinder, and so how you see it actually depends on where on Earth you’re standing.”
This continued back and forth for the next few minutes before the boys heard the Zeta-tubes whir to life.
“Recognized: Captain Marvel 1-5.”
A few moments later, Billy ran into the living room, though much to Dick and Wally’s surprise, he was not in his adult form. He came to a stop in front of the teenage boys with a grin splitting his face and his arms spread wide.
“Batman finally re-programmed the zeta-tube so if I need to, I can use them without having to change! Ya know, in case of emergency,” he explained without either teenager having to ask.
“I was wondering,” Wally muttered.
Billy shrugged and plopped down on the arm of the couch beside Robin.
“So, what are you guys up to?”
“Talking about conspiracy theories,” the Boy Wonder replied.
Billy cocked his head to the side, “Conspiracy theories? What, like how people think the moon landing was faked?”
Robin snorted, “Of course it was faked! You can’t land on something that isn’t actually there!”
Un-privy to the teen heroes’ prior conversation, and not picking up on Dick’s sarcasm, Billy shot up out of his seat. He whirled around and stared at the Boy Wonder in bewilderment.
“Wait, what?!”
Dick and Wally stared at the younger boy for a brief moment before exchanging a glance with each other. This should be fun.
“Billy,” Wally began slowly, “Don’t tell me you still believe in the moon.”
“What do you mean ‘still believe in the moon’? It’s not Santa Clause!” Billy cried.
The Boy Wonder shook his head, “So you’re saying you don’t believe in Santa, but you still believe in the moon?”
“The moon is real, guys!”
“The moon is a social construct, Billy,” Wally told him.
“Yeah, it’s not actually there, it’s just a story. I didn’t realize you actually still believed it,” Robin continued.
Billy stared at the two teens in shock; both the speedster and the acrobat could practically see the gears in the eleven-year-old’s head spinning as he processed what he had just been told. The youngest boy was silent and still for a few minutes until they all heard footsteps coming down the corridor. Billy jumped up off the armrests to stand in front of the two older heroes just as three more members of the team entered the living room. The conversation being had between Artemis, Zatanna, and Raquel trailed off as they stared at Billy questioningly upon seeing the distraught and confused look on the kid’s face.
“Are they being serious?” Billy cried.
“Uh, what?” Raquel asked.
Behind Billy, Wally and Dick remained seated on the couch, making eye contact with the girls. The Boy Wonder grinned mischievously at his girlfriend, while Wally motioned with his hands, mouthing for the girls to ‘roll with it’.
“Serious about what, Billy?” Zatanna questioned.
“The moon isn’t real?”
Zee, ready as always to indulge in her boyfriend’s seemingly endless shenanigans, responded immediately, “Of course not!”
Artemis and Raquel exchanged glances as Zee stepped forwards to put a hand on Billy’s shoulder, “So, you know how the stars we can see actually died, like, millions of years ago, and we’re just now seeing their light?”
Billy nodded. Artemis seemed to catch on to the magician’s line of thought as she continued, “It’s like that, but instead of stars, we’re seeing the egg that hatched the dinosaurs.”
Billy’s jaw nearly hit the floor, “T-the dinosaurs?! But…what about when I can see the moon from the Watchtower?”
Now, it was Raquel’s turn to join in, “The view of the ‘moon’,” she curled her fingers into air quotes, “from space is just a trick of the light. The light from the sun bounces off of the atmosphere and collides with the light that we’re just now seeing from the old moon which creates sort of illusion of the moon which is what you see from the Watchtower, or what astronauts see from the International Space Station.”
Robin grinned widely at the trio, giving them a big thumbs up. Zee matched his grin as she moved to sit on the couch next to him, giving him a small fist bump. On Robin’s other side, Wally’s face matched his hair as he desperately held in his laughter. Before anyone in the group could say anything more, the group felt a familiar sensation in their minds as, apparently, Conner and M’gann entered the mountain.
The Team gave their telepathic hellos to each other, and Robin noticed that Billy had yet to be included.
‘M, whatever you do, don’t link Billy up,’ he stated urgently. The Team could feel M’gann’s confusion and concern wafting through their minds.
‘Why?’ She asked, ‘Is something wrong?’
‘Nah, we’re just messing with him,’ Raquel told the red-head.
‘What do you mean?’ Came Conner’s voice.
‘We have somehow managed to convince Billy that the moon isn’t actually real,’ Artemis responded.
Wally quickly updated the couple on what Billy had been told so far.
‘Keep it going,’ Zee told them.
‘Yeah, I wanna see how far we can take this,’ Wally added on giddily.
M’gann and Conner finally entered the living room through the kitchen, Wolf close at Conner’s heels. Billy whirled to face the newcomers, letting out a desperately confused noise.
“Are they being serious about the moon not being real?”
“Wait,” Conner stated, completely straight faced, “You didn’t know that?”
Billy stared at the clone for a beat before, “So all that stuff they said, about the light and the dinosaur egg…that’s all true?"
Conner tapped his temple, “Encyclopedic knowledge, remember? Cadmus downloaded all of that into my brain.”
“Besides,” M’gann chimed in, “I would’ve passed the moon when I travelled to Earth from Mars!”
Billy stared at the couple in bewilderment. Wally pumped his fist in the air in victory, careful to keep out of Billy’s eyesight. Zatanna hid her silent laughter in her boyfriend’s shoulder, while Artemis and Raquel joined the trio on the couch, Artemis nudging Wally as she did so.
Finally, the felt the last member of the Team join the mindlink.
‘Kaldur, please don’t ruin this,’ Wally stated in greeting.
‘Ruin what?’ Kaldur responded.
Once again, they recounted the events of the last fifteen minutes.
‘Ah, I see,’ Kaldur spoke in the mindlink, while also entering the living room. His skin was shining from where he’d apparently been swimming.
Billy turned to the Team leader and, believing Kaldur wouldn’t try to mess with him, asked, “Kaldur, the moon is real, right?”
The Atlantean cocked his head to the side and furrowed his eyebrows, as if trying to understand why the eleven-year-old was asking him that question, “No?”
Conner smirked, while M’gann hid a smile behind her hand. On the couch, Wally pulled the collar of his shirt up to hide his face, trying to hold his laughter in so hard he was practically laying in Artemis’ lap. Billy threw his hands up in defeat.
“I feel like you guys are messing with me, but I can’t tell!”
Kaldur gestured towards the hallway which led to one of the openings of the mountain, “If you would like to check, you can always go outside and look.”
‘What?’ Raquel questioned in the mindlink.
‘The phase of lunar cycle tonight happens to be a new moon,’ Kaldur informed her.
‘He won’t be able to see it,’ Artemis finished in realization.
Billy looked defiant. “Fine, we’ll all go check.”
The pre-teen led the rest of the group out of the mountain, and onto the beach of Happy Harbor, where the sun had just finished setting not long prior. He looked up, searching the clear night skies for a sign of the moon.
“I can see stars,” he murmured softly, “But no moon.”
Wally and Robin flanked Billy on either side, both throwing an arm around the younger boy’s shoulders.
“What did we tell you?” Wally asked.
Billy shook his head, still staring at the sky in wonder, “I can’t believe nobody told me before this. Not Uncle Dudley. Not even the League.”
“To be fair,” Robin responded, “No one really knew you were a kid until a few months ago. They all probably just assumed you knew already.”
Billy nodded, but didn’t say anything else. After a few beats of silence, save for the roaring of the ocean, a beeping sounded in all of their ears.
“Looks like we’ve got a mission,” Artemis said, tugging at Wally’s arm.
The Team began walking back toward the mountain, pausing only when M’gann turned around to see Billy still standing and staring at the sky.
“Billy, are you coming?” She called out.
The dark haired boy waved her off, “I’ll catch up with you guys, later.”
The young heroes exchanged looks before shrugging and continuing on inside the mountain.
“Why do we have to have training so early?” A red-headed speedster complained, trudging into the mission room.
“And on a Saturday, no less,” Zatanna agreed, running her fingers through her dark hair.
“I’m surprised you actually got here on time, Wall,” Robin snarked.
“Yeah, ‘cause I called him and told him to get his ass out of bed,” Artemis responded, teasingly hip checking her boyfriend.
“It’s seven-thirty in the morning on a Saturday, babe,” Wally argued. “I’m allowed to be tired.”
“Now, we are just waiting on Black Canary,” Came Kaldur’s gentle voice.
As if on cue, the zeta-tubes whirred to life.
“Recognized, Captain Marvel 1-5.”
“Well that’s certainly not who I expected,” Raquel stated, staring quizzically at the doorway Billy now came running down.
“YOU GUYS LIED TO ME?!” The boy shrieked. His voice echoed around the Cave.
“Seven. Thirty.” Wally hissed, cringing away from the noise. Wolf looked at the speedster seemingly almost sympathetically, resting his head on his front paws and closing his eyes.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Team exchanged confused looks.
“What are you talking about?” Conner asked.
Billy huffed angrily at the question.
“Like a week ago?! About the moon?! It is real!”
Realization dawned on the young heroes as they recalled last week’s formerly forgotten shenanigans. To be fair, the mission they’d been given that night had been rough, and they had three others over the course of the week. The prank they had played on the younger boy had fallen far from the forefront of their minds.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Robin held his hand out in a ‘hold on’ gesture, and shook his head. “You mean you have actually been believing all of that…for the last week?”
Billy stared at the Boy Wonder in bewilderment.
“What else did you expect me to do?” He cried.
“Google it?” Wally commented offhandedly. Robin pointed at his best friend, as if the speedster had just proven his point. A strangled noise escaped Billy’s throat.
“I can’t believe this! I can’t believe I embarrassed myself in front of the entire League! Superman and Wonder Woman already think I’m too young to still be in the League! And Flash and Green Lantern couldn’t stop laughing!” Billy ranted.
“Hold on, Billy what happened?” Zatanna interrupted.
“We had a League meeting this morning,”
(“it’s way too early for that what the f-“ “shut up, Wally”)
“And Superman was saying something about an asteroid or UFO or something that’s on course to collide with the moon, and how he was going to send a team of us to break it up and send it off course. I was confused, and said, ‘How is it supposed to crash into the moon? The moon isn’t even real!’ And Superman was all, ‘Very funny Captain Marvel, but this is serious. Please pay attention.’ And then I was all, ‘I am being serious. They were talking about how weird it was that I still believed in the moon, then told me it wasn’t real, and when we went outside, there was no moon.’ And then Black Canary said, ‘Billy, who is they?’ and I told her it was you guys. And Flash and Green Lantern were laughing really hard, and Wonder Woman was definitely judging me, and then Batman told me that you guys were messing with me, and that none of what you told me was true. And then J’onn explained the actual truth to me, and then I came here.”
By the time Billy was finished, he was breathing so hard it seemed like he’d just run a marathon. The Team stared at him for a moment. Some looked at the boy in guilt and pity (Kaldur and M’gann) while everyone else looked like they were trying not laugh (everyone else), this time out of being polite to the kid, rather than trying to mess with him.
M’gann was the first to respond to the eleve-year-old, in a soft voice, “Billy, I’m sorry, we didn’t think-“
She was cut off by the zeta-tubes once again whirring to life.
“Recognized: Black Canary 1-3. Batman 0-1.”
“Oh, we’re so dead.”
"Dude, I thought you were supposed to be the optimistic one."
"We're gonna die quickly."
"Cool thanks, Wall."