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“Ranboo,” Phil's voice is cautious. Not uncommon when he talks to Ranboo about something that might upset him so he starts to brace himself.
“Yeah, Phil?” His head turns to Phil who is working on some potions, his hands look stained with blue dye and a sharp pain passes through as Ranboo remembers Ghostbur. He should really go and get Friend from Lmanburg and bring him here.
“Do you know how Tubbo lost two lives?”
Ranboo's arms go numb and his mind goes blank. It's the one thing that he doesn't want to talk about with Tubbo no matter how curious he is because it's just something they dont talk about. Tubbo doesn't bring up when he leaves bed some nights and he wakes up in a mine with no memory of how he got there or why he has so much stuff on him. So he doesn't ask about how Tubbo got the scars on the right side of his body he doesn't ask why he's so jumpy when every time Techno’s name is mentioned.
“No, I never asked...” Ranboo chirps out the accent coming out more than he wants to. Damn Enderman half.
Phil takes a breath and looks up from the potions. “Do you want to?”
Of course, he wants to but what about Tubbo wanting him to know. He would have told him if he really wanted him to know right? He opens his mouth to respond but can't find the words all he can do is choke out a strangled breath.
Phil looks at him in a way that he would think a Dad would look at their son. His eyes are soft but full of pain and he knows that it must have been recent for him to find out if he is looking at him like this.
Its pity and Ranboo can't take it, he looks away.
“Ranboo,” Phil walks forward and puts his hand on his shoulder. “Marriage is hard. Trust me. But sometimes it's good to know for you two to really get closer. It's important. Because I know you love him and I know he loves you.”
He can feel the tears welling up it's burning behind his eyes, “but I know and talk to him about it I'm going to have to talk about the-”
Phil shushes him. “Come on let's go for a walk” he tilts his head towards the door. Phil wasn't going to push and he knew that Ranboos' curiosity and concern for Tubbo would want him to know.
His own curiosity would push him to ask soon it was just time.
They end up sitting in the snow letting it fall around them before Ranboo is able to calm down. They sit in silence for a while before Ranboo takes a deep breath and puts his hands straight into the snow.
Home...
He pulls his hands out of the snow and puts them around his knees.
“How?” Ranboo said into the quiet of the setting sun breaking the comfortable quiet that had rested between the two of them.
“How what,” Phil asked, he wanted Ranboo to say the words. Not pushing him urging him to ask himself.
“How did he-” Ranboos voice caught in his chest for a moment, nerves eating him alive, “how did Tubbo lose his first 2 lives.”
“Are you sure you want to know?” Phil's voice was quiet as he looked over at Ranboo, his eyes worried. Ranboo met his gaze and nodded
“I need to know how to protect him, Phil. This is the best way I know how.”
Phil took a deep breath.“The first time was at the hand of Erets betrayal and to Dream or Sapnap or George... it's unclear who killed him. That's why early Lmanburg had an issue with Eret, is because of their betrayal to the cause.”
Ranboo had a feeling that's where he lost the first life because that's how much of early Lmanburg lost their first lives. It hurt to hear it for a fact but knew. “Okay,” he says through a clenched jaw.
“The second was during the... Schlatt administration. Fundy said he was involved in espionage against Manburg” Phil spoke carefully.
“I'm glad he's dead then.” Ranboo spit.
“Schlatt isn't the one who killed him.”Phil paused for a moment and took a breath. “He and Quackity arranged for his execution during a festival he created and decorated.” Ranboo is thrown back to New Lmanburg, the Festival he decorated and organized and was revealed to be a traitor as well, was he supposed to die that day?
“So Quackity killed him.” Ranboo’s voice was harsh and venomous. He clenched his hands on his pant legs so as to not do something he would regret.
“No, it was Techno.”
His body feels like lead sinking into the ground and he thinks he hears Phil try and talk to him, call out to him but he just gets up and excuses himself. Phil calls out to him but Ranboo just goes to his house and sits on his bed and just stares at the stone floor.
The man who took him in allowed him to live on his land, who taught him so much, he executed his now-husband in cold blood.
No this can't be right. Techno had no reason to, he was allied with Pogtopia at this point so it would mean that he was on Tubbo’s side. Tubbo was allied with Pogtopoia. Techno wouldn’t have killed him at Schlatt’s command, Schlatt was the government, he bent a knee to the government, which goes against everything that Technoblade stands for.
Technoblade killed his husband.
Technoblade murdered his Bee.
He doesn't know how long he's been clenching his fists but he can feel the blood pool in his palms and he unclenches them. The shock now wearing off and he's fucking pissed. He can feel his breath speed up and his body go hot. Before he can really understand what he's doing he's on his feet and going downstairs, down to the basement. He's grabbing the important stuff and he hastily writes a letter to Phil telling him that he has to go and to give his house to someone who could bear living next to Technoblade.
He’s mad and he knows he should be calmer about this because it could trigger the enderwalk but at this point, he doesn't care what fucking happens to Technoblade and if he sees him he is going to kill him. His particles are yelling at him; it's all so loud.
He leaves the note on the bridge in a chest between Phil and Techno's house and leaves without looking behind him, bringing his animals with him and going to live with his family, never wanting to see the Syndicate again.
Tubbo is playing with Micheal down in the main living room when Ranboo gets to Tubbo’s house at dusk.
He knocks and Tubbo gets up to open the door. He's shocked and can tell he's been crying.
Micheal runs past Tubbo and gives Ranboo a hug around his legs. Ranboo scoops him up and holds him close. Micheal pulls back and holds Ranboos face in his small hands. Ranboo smiles.
“No crying papa. Crying hurted” and Micheal wipes his eyes just like Ranboo has done on many occasions with him. Ranboo smiles even bigger and pulls Micheal into a hug and he buries his small head into Ranboos shoulder.
“Love you, papa,” Micheal says into his shoulder.
“Love you most bubba.”
They walk into the house and Micheal shows him the picture he painted today with Tee’s help. Hes sat in his lap by the time that the moon has risen and is starting to doze. Tubbo looks at them both so fondly and when Ranboo meets his gaze it's warm and also Tubbo can tell that there's pain there.
“Come on,” Tubbo says as he scoops a half-asleep Micheal into his arms to take him up the stairs to his room. “Let's go to your bed.”
Micheal nods into Tubbo's arms and curls up.
They tuck him in and Ranboo hums a song that the particles sing to him when he can't sleep sometimes. Within moments he's asleep and Tubbo is pulling on his hand so they can go pretend that he doesn't have all of his stuff on him and Tubbo's knows he's going to be here permanently.
Not knowing why but not really caring right now because he's home, finally.
He offers a warm drink to Ranboo who gladly takes it and sips it, staring off into Snowchester.
“Why didn't you tell me...”
Tubbo's stomach drops to his feet. “Tell you what?”
“About the festival,” Ranboo says still staring out, angry and so upset and hurt shining in his eyes. “Tubbo we are married for god's sake you could have told me that Tech-”
“I forgave him. I didn't think it was a big deal.” Tubbos voice had gone flat, like when he's talking about something he doesn't want to remember. “He killed me with a crossbow and a firework rocket. They boxed me in and I couldn’t leave.”
“I was living next to him, he taught me so much he and phil and they both just-”
“Ranboo.” Tubbo is telling him to stop, he knows he is but Ranboo is just pissed enough to push.
“No, don't ‘Ranboo’ me. We need to talk about this Tubbo.”
“Talk about what? Hm? I was fucking killed by someone that my friends supported as they watched on a roof after I gave the most nervewracking speech of my fucking life. And then made into the bad guy when I was okay with taking one of his lives away because of what he fucking did to me. I wanted revenge just this fucking once but even still I wasn't able to because he got away somehow with Dreams help.”
“Tubbo-”
“No shut the fuck up. Shut up. After that spectacular failure, Q wanted to kill you in your decorations. He told me that after the festival that we created to be a ploy to kill Dream, he wanted to kill you. I couldn’t fucking belive it. I had turned into the one person that I swore- that our government swore to never be like, we had turned into.”
“Tubbo he had good reason I-”
“What? Did you tell Dream about our plans to kill Techno? Because that's what he said you did with that memory book clenched in his hand. You did that with Dream somehow,” His back was to Ranboo finally looked over at him, he was gesturing wildly as he was speaking.
Ranboo tried to speak again but only opened and closed his mouth.
Tubbo turned around at the silence and looked at him, his shoulders falling. “No, surely not...”
“Tubbo I- I- I blew up-” his voice stopped,trying to tell him, trying to blink away the tears. “I- damnit”
“Ranboo... You- you didn't help him did you?” Tubbo was stepping away from him.
Tears burned in his eyes, they stung and Ranboo looked up at the ceiling begging them not to fall.
“Ranboo what did you do...” Tubbo had tears forming in his eyes his jaw was clenched
That caused the tears. “I- I can't tell you... I can't tell you what I have done. I can't- I'm a bad guy Tubbo... Tubbo, I'm bad you need to lock me away. Kill me do something because I-” The enderwalk side of him was stopping him from saying anything.
“Did you cause Tommy to be exiled?”
“No... No- I didn’t...” Ranboo’s breath was ragged and he felt the other side wanting to take over with the tears falling, it hurt, and wanted to get away but he pushed it down. “I don't know Tubbo, I can't remember. I- I- I um- I-”
They both sat there for a long moment, waiting for the other to speak but nothing was said. Tears were streaming down Ranboo's face.
Tubbo walked over and softly cupped his face, wiping away the tears over the fresh new scars going to form.
“No more secrets?” Tubbo asked, his voice soft.
“Tubbo I-”
“No more secrets?” he insisted.
“Tubbo I can't tell you the things I've done I can't tell you-” his voice caught again, not letting him tell anyone. Lesson 94: tell No one what you've done. It was holding his tongue. He wanted to tell Tubbo so badly it hurt but he couldn't even talk about it with anyone.
Ranboo collapsed into Tubbos arms and they sat there holding each other, Tubbo softly crying running his hands through Ranboo’s hair.
After a long moment, Ranboo pulled away and looked at Tubbo. He giggled. Tubbo's eyes were red and his cheeks were blotchy from crying.
“What are you laughing at, big man?” Tubbo said pushing his shoulder and wiping away the tears.
“You look like a mess.”
“I look like a mess? You should look in a mirror buddy.” Ranboo smiles and Tubbo gives a soft chuckle and they settle in comfortable silence.
“No more secrets?” Tubbo asks again after a moment.
“No more secrets,” Ranboo says and he thinks that this wasn't supposed to happen to someone with the Enderwalk.
He thinks that maybe he might be able to tell Tubbo about it all, in time.