Work Text:
tears blur my vision no matter how many times i blink
the blue light stings yet i can’t dare look away
the phone screen
burning burning burning
even when the brightness is at its dimmest
my thumbs move so fast across the on screen keyboard
that instagram crashes and reloads crashes and reloads
just how it goes on the nights like this
the nights of begged promises and burned notes
but you’re worth it
you’re worth it even when the tears
drip drip drip
down my face
when i beg you to stay with me
please just stay, please be the one to stay
you’re worth it
even when we only say good morning
and say goodnight in the whole day
because every bit of good news i receive
i vibrate with excitement to tell you
because when something thrilling happens
my first thought is to talk to you
it’s always you
it’s always you who makes me laugh
when i thought i would be crying all day long
it’s only you who can turn my day from shit to lovely
it’s only you to make me feel like my heart is bursting
you are my first thought in the morning
and you are my last thought
before i let sleep consume my whole being
you are the only good thought to overwhelm me
thoughts of
you you you
run through my mind even more than
the never ending thoughts of
die die die
my love, i never even knew
what love was before meeting you
i thought love was being told again and again
that saying ‘i love you’ is too much
that being affectionate was too much
i thought love was heart broken promises
and false hope dipped in honey
dripping in sweet nectar
ready to fill you up with sugar
before the poison inevitably takes its effect
but you, my darling,
are breathless whispers of adoration
and soft touches so delicate, so delicate
it’s like a butterfly’s kiss
you are quiet nights in each other’s embrace
and talking ‘till we fall asleep at the same time
you are sugar and spice and everything nice
that i never thought could suffice
for an all or nothing mess like me
you’re the first person to look at me,
my messed up puzzle of a person,
my cut up jagged pieces and frayed edges
and love the picture anyway
when i look at you, my sweetheart,
i see the most beautiful picture there could be
i see pain everyone else too careless to notice
and tears that
drip drip drip
just like mine do, just like me
i see a smile so dazzling the angels’ surely jealous
tears blur my vision no matter how many times i blink
again and again
the blue light stings yet i won’t dare look away
the phone screen continues
burning burning burning
even when the brightness is at its dimmest
my thumbs move so fast across the on screen keyboard
that instagram crashes and reloads crashes and reloads
just how it goes
but it’s worth it always worth it
because i trust you to be the one that stays
because i believe you that you wouldn’t leave
even when that’s all your mind wants of you
because i wouldn’t cry for someone i didn’t adore
adore just isn’t a strong enough word for my love
because you’re you and there’s nothing i wouldn’t do
for the one who holds my entire heart
for the other half of my essence
for my soulmate and future wife