Chapter Text
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. . .
— ALL SYSTEMS OFFLINE.
\\ATTEMPTING REBOOT.
. . .
ERROR
— MULTIPLE SYSTEMS MISSING OR DESTROYED
. . .
— INNER CONTAINMENT SYSTEM COMPROMISED
\\INITIATING EMERGENCY SELFDESTRUCT
ERROR
— EMERGENCY SELFDESTRUCT ACTIVATION MISSING OR DESTROYED
\\INITIATING CASUAL SELFDESTRUCT
ERROR
— CASUAL SELFDESTRUCT ACTIVATOR MISSING OR DESTROYED
. . .
\\RUNNING SYSTEM ANALYSIS
. . .
ERROR
— SYSTEM ANALYSIS NOT FUNCTIONAL
DAMAGED SYSTEMS:
— BUILT IN WEAPONS
— VISUAL SENSORS
— EMERGENCY SELFDESTRUCT
— SYSTEM ANALYSIS
— STORAGE SYSTEM
— GLOW
— CONFETTI CANNON
— BABY MODE DEACTIVATOR
— INFORMATION PROCESSOR
— COMMON SENSE
— MEMORY BANK
— HUMOR AND SARCASM
ERROR
BROKEN SYSTEMS:
— SOUL CONTAINER
— SOUL PROTECTION
— EMOTION NULLIFIER
— INFECTION NULLIFIER
— EMERGENCY SELFDESTRUCT ACTIVATOR
— VACUUM
— CASUAL SELFDESTRUCT ACTIVATOR
— FASHION SENSE
. . .
— CONFETTI CANNON REQUIRES REPLACEMENT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
. . .
\\PERFORMING EMERGENCY REBOOT.
\\BROKEN SYSTEMS DEACTIVATED.
\\AIRLOCKING INNER CONTAINMENT SYSTEM
\\REROUTING EMERGENCY POWER
— REMAINING SYSTEMS ONLINE
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——
Unit Gh0s7 regained consciousness. Their head hurts, their arms hurt, pretty much everything really hurts. They can see a large crack running over their right eye, they must have damaged themself… whenever they got here.
Their memory bank is beyond damaged, they can’t remember anything that happened before now, and they certainly don’t remember everything being upside down. They reach up, feeling the ground beneath (or maybe above?) them. Their left horn seems to be stuck. They rock themselves back and forth until they manage to dislodge their horn from the junk pile, landing flat on their face. That hurt. Their pain receptors must not be damaged.
They would make a joke about their current situation, but it seems their humor and sarcasm system is damaged. They would also curse to themself, but their baby mode system is currently active, and curses cannot be used. What else is broken? They don’t know, only the most important systems have alerts, and their system analysis is also broken.
This sucks. They just want to lay down and reboot. They don’t like being confused. They don’t like not knowing what’s going on, or at least they don’t think they do. Why does their processor have to be so confusing? They want to cry but they don’t remember how to, and not knowing how just makes them even more upset.
They assess their surroundings. A quick simple scan should tell them everything they need to know… nevermind, their visual sensors are damaged. They’re lucky they can even see.
By doing a regular search of their surroundings, also known as turning in a circle and staring at things, they realize that they seem to be in some kind of junk pit, filled with scraps and broken weapons and disgusting, rotten trash. What’re they doing down here? They aren’t trash! The walls look too jagged to climb without some kind of advanced equipment, but they can see what looks like an opening not too far down the trash heap.
They slide down the junk pile, which is fun, and then they crash into a metal gate at top speed, which is not fun. They rub their head where there is certainly a dent now, and once their pain receptors have calmed down, they start digging to get under the gate. It doesn’t go too far down, and pretty soon they have a safe passage way into the rest of this cave system.
It’s covered in trash and parts, to the point that they have to wade through it if they want to walk on stable ground. It goes up to their shoulders, making this even more uncomfortable. They wished their smell receptors were broken, but alas the universe was cruel, and whatever threw them down into the junk pit didn’t do a good enough job of beating the… the sugar honey ice tea out of them (curse this abominable baby mode).
They’re so lost in thought that they don’t realize the junk behind them is moving until it’s too late. Whatever it is grabs their leg and attempts to pull them under the sea of trash. They start thrashing and kicking in an attempt to break free, but it doesn’t let go. They flail their arms in hopes of grabbing on to anything, and their hand eventually lands on a metal rod, which they then stab into the junk, toward whatever was grabbing them.
It lets go of their leg, allowing them to quickly thrash their way over to a metal sheet, and watch as the metal rod is pulled through the sea of trash, slipping underneath the metal sheet and almost knocking Unit Gh0s7 off of their safe space. They scan their surroundings again, seeing a large rectangular prism of metal not too far away. If they can get on top of it, they should be safe. They pick up a piece of scrap and throw it backward, before diving into the trash again. Maybe a bit too soon, as the metal rod starts moving toward them instead of their genius distraction. They barely manage to get on the side of the prism, which begins to lean and threatens to fall over.
Thankfully it stills, until the trash monster slams the metal pipe into the side of it, causing it to fall over. Unit Gh0s7 scrambles to get back on top of it, finding that it’s actually hollow. The monster returns to the deeps, apparently not realizing it’s prey is right above it. They look ahead again, and spot an array of old, rusty platforms that they should be able to climb up. They jump back into the junk, crawling as fast as they can, the rumbling of junk growing behind them.
They barely manage to scurry up the side before the monster crashes into the platform, breaking the metal with a loud snap and causing the platform to collapse into the other platforms. Unit Gh0s7 barely manages to grab a conveniently placed rope and swing to safety.
That was too close, they decided. They need to stay as far away from junk pits and evil trash monsters as they can. They also need to be able to defend themselves, especially since they don’t know what all is out here. They dig through pile after pile of scrap (under the presumption that the trash monster can’t get up here), and eventually after what feels like at least an hour and twenty four minutes, they manage to find a barely functioning phaseblade. They have no clue what a phaseblade is, but they know the word, and that’s all they need.
They take a moment to practice with it, jabbing it at things, slashing, all of the well known techniques that come with being a sword master. It also appears to be magnetic! It sticks with ease to any part of their body, including their back where they will keep it for the time being.
The rest of trashcave awaits them! They return to their swimming as the amount of junk increases, returning to requiring them to practically swim through it, and eventually they arrive at a large, metal gate. With their phaseblade in hand, they begin banging on the rusty metal rods in hopes of breaking them. Unfortunately, that also attracts the trash monster, who apparently can get up here.
Unit Gh0s7 quickens their assault on the metal rods, eventually managing to break two of them right as the trash monster slams into them at full force, sending Unit Gh0s7 flying through the gap they’d just made. It retreats after realizing they’ve gone, leaving them laying on the floor at least a dozen paces from where the trash pipe ends.
Well, they have to keep moving eventually. With great hesitation, they get back to their feet, pull the metal scrap off of their new magnetic sword, give an angry glare toward the metal tunnel they just escaped from. They’d come back here eventually, and they’d slay that monster, because it was very rude.
They once again assessed their surroundings, noticing the bright lights of a nearby town. That’s their first destination, and maybe they’ll learn of who… or what… they are.