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He couldn’t exactly tell when it all started to get worse. Maybe last year when Michael and Calum finally became a couple. It was so obvious they were madly in love but it was a slow build relationship between them. That was why Luke never told anyone that he kinda sorta had a crush on Michael too. And they started to hang out together more and they often forgot to invite Luke to just ’come with us it’ll be fun’. Of course he felt useless since he practically had to spend his Friday nights alone instead of being with his best friends, but he accepted it. After all, they were together for god’s sake. Truth to be told Luke wouldn’t even want to be there and feel awkward everytime they were making out.
But really, it wasn’t their fault. He’d always considered himself a little bit too emotional and sensitive and he couldn’t help but take everything too seriously, take things as an insult even if those things didn’t mean to hurt him. Probably that’s why his arms were covered with angry and deep scars since 7th grade. It was something already hard enough to hide, he really just couldn’t seem to handle the eating disorders he’d developed throughout the past year. Luke just wanted it to be over already – he felt like he had no one aside from his family. Though if he wanted to be completely honest it hurt him how his brothers and parents didn’t notice that he made himself throw up after every meal, it hurt him how no one noticed the scars or if he hadn’t been eating for days. He wasn’t even sure if anyone would notice if he disappeared.
It was the first day in school after the Christmas holidays. Luke couldn’t help but feel like everyone was watching him since he was certain that he’d gained weight in the last two weeks due to family dinners. It lead to new cuts and he hated himself for not being able to control his mind. He didn’t even want to meet Mike and Calum, he just wanted to go home and hide until he got dangerously skinny again.
”Lukey!” They still cared about him, though. They never really let him be alone at school, it was only that they didn’t hang out anymore, just like they used to. Hearing Calum’s voice, Luke faked a smile on his face before he turned around to face them – wait, who was that guy with them?
”Happy New Year!” Michael said with a huge smile, and he just realized that they haven’t spoken since Christmas, and it wasn’t only their fault because Luke didn’t make any move to talk to them either.
„Happy New Year guys.” He replied, glancing at the stranger boy standing next to Calum.
„Oh, yeah, look who we found,” Calum started before he could ask anything, ”Luke, this is Ashton. Ashton, he’s Luke. They just moved in town. We met on the bus this morning and Michael decided to keep him because he can play drums, plus he seems really nice.”
”Nice to meet you, Luke.” The curly haired boy gave Luke a sheepish smile, biting his lower lip in an anxious manner as he held out a hand toward him. Damn, he really did have an adorable smile.
”Nice to meet you, too.” Luke responded, returning a smile as they shook hands. He didn’t know if Ashton was gonna stick around or he’d find others to befriend, but he was sure that he wanted to get to know him and he couldn’t even find an acceptable reason why.
Ashton could tell something wasn’t completely okay with Luke the first time he looked at him – he had those dark circles under his eyes like he wasn’t getting proper sleep, his skin was pale and his legs were too damn skinny. Well, he was sure it wasn’t only his legs but with that oversized hoodie he wore Ashton couldn’t tell if he was underweight or not but he wasn’t the one to judge. But oh shit, as he looked at him from head to toe he had this weird feeling rushing over him – he did not like piercings but this Luke kid looked pretty hot having his lip pierced and his eyes. Oh, well.
He shook his head slightly, eyeing the floor a second later – he needed to get to know him. Aside from that in his opinion Luke had the bluest eyes, he also could tell that he wasn’t alright. He knew, because when Ashton looked in the mirror he saw the same.
”Speaking of which, how come you weren’t on the bus? Did your mom drive you to school or…?” Calum furrowed his brows, intertwining his fingers with Mike, rubbing his eyes lazily. Everyone’s sleeping schedule must have been messed up. That’s what holidays do.
”No, I – uh – I was walking. Thought it’d help if I start the day with freezing so I can stay awake during the first lesson due to feeling cold. I know, it’s stupid. Makes no sense.” Actually, I decided not to take the bus to have the chance to burn a few calories with walking 30 minutes, not to mention that I heard that feeling cold also burn calories, so yeah that’s why I was risking to get cold. Luke rubbed the back of his neck, feeling bad for lying all the time, feeling embarassed for acting this awkward, especially in front of Ashton. He still didn’t know why he cared about what he thought of him but he tried to just shake off this feeling.
”Yeah, as you say, it doesn’t make sense why would you even get up earlier to walk to school. You’re such a weirdo.” Michael added jokingly with a huff of laughter, the word weirdo feeling like a stab in the back but only did he was bite his tongue.
”Yeah, anyway – ”
”It’s not that weird.” Ashton cut Luke off softly, looking at the blonde boy in front of him, earning a strange look from Michael, ”Actually I think it’s not weird at all. ”
Calum looked over at the green eyed boy before glancing at Luke with a faint smile,
”Well, at least now we know someone who understands your not-that-weird things.”