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That ache was gone. So was the wetness that dripped down his back and the darkness and weariness that had crept into him. Now all he saw was light and all he felt was the coolest and most comforting breeze ever, carrying the scent of fresh cut grass. His eyes finally focused on the thick green clad highlands before him right beneath the cerulean sky. He can hear blackbirds and robins chirping away merrily in the warm morning sun. And yet it doesn’t feel like it should.
Dean was having trouble catching up. Everyone together, everyone happy seemed awesome if he had only had human friends. Crowley and Rowena may have been a royal pain in his ass and they may not be the best of characters but he would miss them. And how long until he gets to see Sam? And the angel… Dean chose not to dive into that shit right now. Repression was his greatest talent after all.
“It ain’t just Heaven, Dean. It’s the heaven you deserve. And we’ve been waiting for ya” Bobby bent down to open the beer cooler, grabbed a bottle, and handed it to Dean after popping it open.
Finally, it all made sense to Dean. Of course, this is all he deserved. He was a fool to have expected more of this place. It was quite brilliant. Giving people the kind of heaven they deserve. Nothing too much or less. He was impressed and couldn’t help but feel proud of the kid who was apparently God now and responsible for all of this.
“So Jack did all that?” Dean asked.
“Well, Cas helped.” A small knowing smile played at Bobby’s lips that he hid behind his beer bottle as he took a sip.
And for the first time in heaven and in a very long time, Dean smiled and let out a relieved laugh. It was no cocky smirk. It was the good old Dean Winchester trademark smile that had been lost in the mess of his life. But he had found it again in the name of the angel.
“It’s a big new world out there. You’ll see.” Bobby turned to find him still smiling. It was soft but he couldn’t wipe it off his face even though he was trying. And there was Dean, a little lost in the joy to hide his soft side. He quickly brought the bottle to his lips to mask it.
“Ugh wow,” He rasped after he swallowed the drink. “This tastes like the first drink I shared with my dad.” He smiled fondly at Bobby who chuckled.
“Quality stuff?”
“No, it’s crap.” But that doesn’t matter ‘cause I’m sharing it with you goes unsaid because Bobby knows that’s how Dean feels, already. “But it was fantastic.” He added.
“Just like this.” Bobby agreed.
They sat in silence for a moment until the nagging in Dean became unbearable. “It’s almost perfect.”
“He’ll be along.” And that promise was enough. “Time up here, it’s different. You got everything you could ever want, or need or… dream” Dean didn’t catch the tiny hints Bobby dropped with his carefully chosen words.
“The question is, what are you gonna do now, Dean?”
Dean scoffed lightly and looked around to see his baby parked nearby, flaunting the sweet old number plate. Just like old times. And right then he knew what to do. But most importantly, whom to go to. He had no idea where to go whatsoever. But he was sure that all he had to do was just keep driving.
The last place he expected to reach was the field by the windmill. The last time he was here, he was a sobbing mess on his knees and Cas’s remains were spread out. This wasn’t exactly Heaven material.
“I know this place wouldn’t be in your ideal Heaven but for some reason, I think somehow we both have grown strangely fond of this place.”
Dean jumped a little at the voice and turned around sharply. If he wasn’t in Heaven, he would have given himself a whiplash or bent his ankles and toppled to the floor.
“Cas…” His voice wavered despite his surreal calm. Cas smiled and gave him his usual greeting. “Hello, Dean.”
“When?” He managed to ask and Cas’s smile fell a little. His eyes searched the ground as he spoke up.
“Soon after I um…”
“Why didn’t you- I used to pray… like an idiot” He was cut off when Cas’s looked at him, brilliant blue eyes heavy with remorse. “I’m not mad at you, Cas. I just wanna know.”
“Jack doesn’t allow angels on Earth anymore.” Cas justified and Dean nodded agreeing seeing sense in it. Angels allowed to walk the earth freely had not fared well before. “He could have allowed me to pay a little visit. But he had already done a huge favor by bringing me back. I couldn’t have asked for more.”
“I couldn’t have asked for more either.” Dean smiled at Cas, his words conveying an entirely different meaning than Cas’s did. The angel of course did not get that, and he just had to go and tip his head to the side, squinting at Dean.
Laughing, Dean clapped a hand on his shoulder. “I missed you so damn much, you son of a bitch.” The gentle that smile that broke on Cas’s face did not help. “I missed you.” He repeated, and his painfully tight grip loosened to pull Cas roughly by his shoulder into a bone crushing hug. Despite the gentleness of the words they had exchanged, both the man and the angel hung onto each other for dear life. Both had missed this. There was something in their hugs that was so much intimate than a kiss or any other gesture of affection. Even for Dean, it had always been like that. They felt so incredibly and inexplicably close. Finally bound and never to part.
“I really missed you.” Dean pulled away but kept him close, both hands wrapped around the nape of his neck almost as if he was scared to let go. “So damn much.” He rested forehead against Cas’s and closed his eyes. “You have no idea, man. And I know that’s my fault and I’m so so sorry for that, Cas.”
Cas’s hands came up to Dean’s wrists, and his thumb rubbed Dean’s skin soothingly as he spoke. “And I apologize for underestimating how much you would.” He sighed, relaxing further into Dean’s hold. The contact was electrifying. More than every other time he had touched Dean. Maybe because this time it was different. This was a new beginning.
“I missed you too, Dean.” Cas pulled away and stepped back. “And I’m sorry for leaving you with… the burden of my words. I wouldn’t have said all of that if I had a choice.”
Dean sighed, running a hand tiredly down his face. “Okay. Let me get this clear.” He stepped forward and grabbed Cas by the lapels of his trench coat and leaned it, stopping a hair’s breadth away from Cas's stricken face. “I missed you.” He pulled him in and that was it. Twelve years of staring and pining had been leading to this moment. The moment Cas thought he had no luxury to dream of and Dean dreaded to. It was not rushed. Just a press of lips but it said everything they had been holding back. But Dean still had to make sure Cas heard the words from. And that he was heard. And so he pulled back and said “And I love you too.”
“I know,” Cas said, hugging him again and Dean knew that the phrase wasn’t a Star Wars reference but he fell for his angel a little bit more.
No, they did not get married. In a way, they already have been for long enough without knowing. But now they do. Cas never understood how marriages worked anyway and Dean saw no need for some damn ceremony to decide they were endgame. They had all of each other and that was enough. This isn’t the end. It’s the happy middle after the rocky beginning. The best part still remains of the greatest love story ever told, of Castiel and Dean Winchester, whom not even death can part.