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The cold air seeped through the window making the young blonde shiver tears were already seeping from his eyes as he took the cold metal letting it dance around his arms and wrists leaving red streaks of emotions and pains on his body as his phone next to slowly played his own brothers recorded songs
"𝙞 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚"
it was only around two pm or fourteen pm depending on what clocks you go off. Everyone but his father Philza was home. Tubbo his best friend offered to meet him at the park and play around but the 15 year old didnt feel well enough to really leave bed anymore his two seventeen year old brothers Wilbur and Techno who were twins were home and Tommy knew Wilbur played the same risky games of how many scars before someone notices that I'm always wearing long sleeves and hoodies. Phil had caught Wilbur and hid everything sharp from Wilbur not even allowing him a razor to shave his face unless Phil watched him. With Phils undying attention on Wilbur and Techno really marching to his own drum other than hanging out with Wilbur and checking on him Tommy felt so fucking alone. He had Tubbo but even Tubbo got a new Friend Ranboo and he brought him everywhere with him and Tommy. He was alone.
"𝙞 𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙞 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙞 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝"
Wilbur wrote these songs when he was feeling just like Tommy but his thoughts were cut of quickly as he heard someone walking down the halls the steps weren't very heavy so he knew it had to be Wilbur there was no way it was Techno he had heavier steps almost like stomps. Tommy quickly hid the once shiny now crimson metal razor blade in his bedside drawer covering it with his locket that looked like a compass that he and Tubbo had gotten together as young boys. On the outside it read 'your Tubbo' Tommy had about five seconds to wipe his eyes and quickly pull his sleeves down he figured if he closed his eyes and faced the wall pretending to be asleep Wilbur would leave him alone but Tommy had left his socks on and he hated sleeping in socks and all the boys knew that as Tommy and techno had a debate how it was okay to sleep with slippers or house shoes which Tommy said no it was like sleeping with socks and immorally wrong. Wilbur knocked "Tommy I'm gonna come in are you decent?" He asked respecting his brothers privacy unlike his 'friend' Tubbo who would walk into their house like he owned it and just bust into the room but when Wilbur was met with deafening silence he knocked again "Tommy I'm gonna come in" he spoke gently as he opened the door seeing Tommy 'asleep' Wilbur knew something was up at it was early he ran his eyes looking for any signs he was faking being asleep or if he had just been exhausted cause it wasn't unlike Tommy to fake sleeping then Wilbur saw the socks. "Tommy get up I know you're not sleeping and dads almost home and you haven't done any of your chores, me and Techno finished ours so you need to come do yours" Tommy groaned in response sitting up his eyes fluttered open red and swollen from tears which Wilbur saw and immediately looked worried "Tommy, what happened, what's wrong?" He asked gently
Now was the chance to come clean spill to Wilbur you wanted nothing more than to end your life and suffering you knew Wilbur didn't really care he was busy taking care of himself now Tommy seemed like a stupid child, a burden. Right now was his chance to admit to himself and Wilbur that he had blades hidden in his room he had bought with no one knowing and he had so many scars everywhere on his body leaving all these marks Tommy thought were just gorgeous they reminded him he was human and they punished him for not being enough. He just looked at Wilbur and spoke softly "Just had a hard day, i failed Mr. WasTaken's math test and then embarrassed myself in front of everyone in señor Quackity's Spanish class and I'm just tired" he sighed making up some excuses which were very true just not the ENTIRE story. "Well Techno and I can do your chores for you but you owe us" Wilbur said patting Tommys shoulder before walking out.
Tommy finally took a breathe letting out one he didn't even know he was holding in and he quickly walked across the hall after getting out of bed rushing to the bathroom with a new hoodie as his long sleeved t-shirt now had blood stains down the arms which no one would see if he hid it in the bottom of his laundry until he had to do it as everyone did their own laundry. He locked the bathroom door and looked at his chest and arms He was eating just not as much and started to loose weight but not enough where it was concerning and everyone figured it was from running around and shit such as that. He looked at his arms some of the cuts deep enough to where some of them ran down his arm like a horror movie he flushed the toilet so his brothers could hear, he had nothing in it but if he flushed the toilet they'd think he was just washing his hands he took a small wash cloth running it under the room temperature water washing the blood from his arms staining the rag that he hid inside his shirt so if anyone saw it he'd say he just used the restroom and changed into a hoodie while at it to be more comfortable. He quietly opened the medicine cabinet eyes landing on pills which he froze looking at Techno's pills for depression and anxiety as well as anger issue but then there was one that Philza had told him to take from some drug store that didn't need to be doctor diagnosed but it kept 'the voices' as he and Phil called it out of his head. Phil heard the voices as well but only when a crow was around, it was like the crows spoke to him. Wilburs medicines on the other hand were more intimidating depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder as well as one for anger management. Tommy looked at them all wondering how many he would need to take before his body collapsed he went to grab one of the bottles but stopped himself not having a note prepared and he hadn't said goodbye to Tubbo yet and he needed one last hug from Phil as he hugged him everyday before bed even if Tommy didn't believe the hug was true emotion he still basked into the feeling of the warm hug. but before his thoughts could carry him away into day dreams he grabbed the medical wrap bandages and wrapped his arms securely until the next time he'd run the cold crimson metal across his arms in the little dance of pain leaving him satisfied for a moment only to put the blade away and then miss the pain it would cause at contact.
He threw the hoodie on going to his room to burry his dirty shirt and cloth into the bottom of him basket of dirty laundry before he heard the door open and close signaling Phil was home which meant Dinner would be in a few hours letting Tommy move to his computer to join a game of Minecraft to play alone but then got a message from one of his classmates, Purpled. He just wanted to be alone so he messaged Purpled saying he was gonna hop on a private server cause he had made plans which was a lie but it was believable.
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Tommy heard a knock on his door and then his fathers voice. Tommy took his head phones off muttering a simple "come in" as he watched his doorknob turn revealing a a gentle looking male wearing a green t-shirt with a Minecraft Hardcore heart on it as all the boys in the house had enjoyed games such as Minecraft and Wilbur had gotten that shirt made for him and along with the shirt is was paired with gray sweat pants. Phil sat down on the side of the bed across from the computer Tommy turned his spinning chair around to face him "Tommy are you okay?" Phil asked breaking the silence after a minute or two but it felt like centuries to Tommy. Tommy was sure he had found a blade or someone saw a cut But to his surprise it was just Phil asking Tommy about what Wilbur had seen earlier when Tommy was crying. Phil loved his boys but Wilbur had become a major priority after everyone found his cuts. Before Phil left he began saying dinner was ready which only caused Tommy to lie and say he wasn't hungry cause he had a big lunch at school plus on the walk home with Tubbo they snacked. Which Phil just nodded towards and patted his shoulder much like Wilbur as he walked out closing the door back.
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Tommy stood up it had been about twelve hours so it was 2 am he stood out of his room after opening his door slowly silent tears already streaming down his face one line from one of Wilburs song designating with him
"𝙞 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚"
He stood silently making sure all he could hear was a deafening silence through the entire house. All of the men were super heavy sleepers so it didn't really matter anyway A note lay on his desk covering how he was sorry but he couldn't find a better way out and this was his only choice. He walked into the bathroom closing the door carefully as o not be to loud and locking it before he walked to the medicine cabinet grabbing the strongest thing in the cabinet which was one of Wilburs he took the orange bottle in his hand and clutched it tightly as he opened it sitting against the bathtub his back wincing as it hit the cold of the tub he pulled out his phone one last time dialing Tubbo holding the phone to his ear as sobs slid from his lips and mouth causing Tubbo to hear as he picked up the call "Tommy? What's wrong?" He asked carefully and scared as he heard Tommy breaking at the other end of the call. Tommy spoke in a raspy tired and sad tone "I just wanted to say goodbye and that I love you Tubbo, I love you so much." He sobbed as Tubbo froze realizing what was happening "Tommy what do you have, what are you holding?" Tommy chuckled brokenly and clearly just fucking lost in his mind "Ya know Tubs, you're so smart. I'm holding some pills from the cabinet, They're strong so I figured why not, I'm fucking done, I'm tired so I'm gonna go to sleep Tubbo, I love you." He said as a click was heard through the phone a shattering scream came from Tubbo as he dialed Phil quickly "Phil where's Tommy?" He asked almost hyper ventilating as Phil sat up Quickly he's asleep I'm pretty sure?" He said questioning why Tubbo was so upset Tubbo spoke brokenly "Phil he said he has pills please I can't loose him" Phil quickly jolted out of bed thanking Tubbo ending the call running to Tommys Room seeing no one in the spot of the bed he bolted to the bathroom where the twins had kept their medicine. Phil beat on the door trying to break it open causing Techno. And Wilbur to walk into the hallway seeing their father screaming and sobbing for their younger brother to stay alive and open the door Techno walked over and in one single kick the door was open revealing a sight no one could prepare for. A fifteen year old blonde child laid shirtless on the floor in one hand an empty bottle of pills the other hand holding a razor blade his wrists and chest cut so deep pools of blood collected around the floor Wilbur had called 9-1-1 before Techno had even kicked the door in but seeing this sight, a boy he called his brother foamed at the mouth pale and looking zombified he knew that there was nothing he could do. Phil collapsed to the floor holding Tommy sobbing begging his son to wake up and to listen to him and come back to us Wilbur broke down leaning against the wall in the hallway curled into a ball hyperventilating tears streaming down his face. Techno punched the wall causing a large fist to form into the wall as the dry wall on the other side of the bathroom door broke Techno cried softly mostly anger filling him.
May Fourth
3:37
Tommy Innit Watson was declared dead
Cause of death suicide.
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The day of the funeral
Tubbo underscore Schlatt didn't show up to his bestfriends funeral unable to get out of bed.
The days before the funeral Tubbo Underscore Schlatt didnt get out of bed
The Days after the funeral Tubbo Underscore Schlatt didn't get out of bed.
He'd lay in his room and bed almost two months unable to move, he started taking dietary supplements and vitamins for sunlight and food supplements only taking sips of water about twice a week Tubbo looked dead himself he could feel his heart break as he heard a knock on his door before it opened his father Johnathan Ram Schlatt standing there with a huge cardboard box "hey Tubs, Phil dropped this off for you, do you want me to stay and help you go through it?" His father asked, since Tommys death Schlatt stopped drinking and began actually taking care of his kid as much as he could trying to make sure he could keep his alive. Tubbo nodded and sat up he had the locket around his neck since he heard the news he had never taken it of. He looked into the box the first thing on the top of the box were two Record player discs 'Melohi and Cat' in the first two weeks of school Mr. WasTaken had confiscated them and Tubbo and Tommy had to steal them back. Tubbo smiled a sad tired smile remembering the story that these disc held. The next thing he saw was one of his favorite hoodie Tubbo always stated he was jealous of. Tubbo began to cry the hoodie smelt like him, fuck, everything smelt like him and everything is this box was for Tubbo. The fact Tommy knew what Tubbo would cherish the most and take care of make Tubbo begins to break down his Father hugging him tightly rubbing his back hey' It's okay, he's here with us in spirit Tubbo...he'd never leave you truly alone and you know that." Tubbo reached back into the box a toy Axe he and tubbo had spent years making as they made it from scratch, they called 'The Axe of Peace' Tubbo saw it and just held it. He shook while crying. His best friend was gone forever and there was nothing he could do. He reached into the box pulling out a smaller box seeing what was inside he dropped it and fell limp onto the bed his father catching and holding him gently as Tubbo cried and hyper ventilated speaking out as if Tommy was here "Tommy why did you do this to me!?" He screamed at the sky hoping Tommy could hear him "I fucking need you so bad!" He sobbed into his fathers blue sweater Schlatt let Tubbo finally sit up catching his breath Schlatt picked up the box revealing the compass locked which read 'Your Tubbo' Tubbo wearing his which read 'Your Tommy' that was the last in the box. Tubbo tried to lay back down but Schlatt shook his head "get up Tubs can you shower and me and you can go on a car ride?" Tubbo groaned Schlatt looked at him "Tubs, it wasn't really a choice."
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Tubbo was sat alone in the grass on a blanket a sandwich and Dr Pepper sat on the blanket for him a Sandwhich which was full of Tommys Favorite ingredients and A opened can sat on the edge of a gravestone which read his name. Every day Tubbo came, whether it was raining or snowing he'd be there. The Grave keeper always saw him and thought it was so sweet but as the years went by a now nineteen year old governor of the city of L'manburg (the youngest in history) he never stopped showing up bring a can of his favorite drink Coke everyday as well as a serving of whatever he was eating to place on the headstone and everyday he came back to the grave it was gone. He had convinced himself that wherever Tommy was he was enjoying the lunch everyday. The grave keeper came over every day after Tubbo left to remove the food and drink and the first time he did it the way the brunets eyes lit up when he told the headstone of his best friend he brought more lunch for him and was glad he enjoyed yesterdays the grave keeper couldn't just stop leaving the sad brunet kid to cry knowing it was all a lie so as a rule everyday that Tubbo shall live the grave keeper of the day would go remove the food to keep the brunet happy and to give him the spark of enjoyment. Some days he'd bring his ukulele and sing his best friend their old favorite songs. Phil, Techno and Wilbur showed up quite often but not like Tubbo, they always made sure Tommy had his favorite type of flowers on his grave at all times every time they went Wilbur would bring his guitar and sing at least one song but some days he'd come by himself with just his guitar and he'd begin to sob and break down as he sang an original album that Tommy had loved 'You're City Gave Me Asthma'. Phil secretly came alone most of the time to talk to his song and beg for Tommy to forgive him as he'd fall to his knees sobbing telling Tommy how much he loved him and missed him. Phil had Failed he failed himself, He failed as a father but even worse, he'd failed his son so badly that he felt the only thing he could do was take his life. Phil knew Tommy had said don't blame himself but how could Phil not, his son had killed himself because he didn't think he was good enough for his father or brothers. If Phil stayed awake later or if he spent more time not working and if he spent more time telling his sons how proud he was of all of them. Every time the male with Pink hair showed up he'd refer to him a 'Theseus' the Greek god, a nickname Tommy gained as a young boy if still alive he'd be 19 like Tubbo. Techno never sobbed but he'd cry silently and everyone knew when out of sight he'd break down but he'd never let it show but his family knew to well. Phil hid everything sharp and dangerous, even the silverware replacing it with plastic silverware NO plastic knifes. Paper Plates replacing the once glass plates and all cups and bottles plastic. Medicine was handed to each boy by Phil. Hoodies strings cut from all of them the twins had their shoes and sneakers had the no tie simple rubber ties no belts allowed no ropes were owned locks from every door in the house were removed. Phil began working from home trying his best to keep his boys safe as possible. Every year on Tommys birthday everyone who tommy called family (Phil, Wilbur, Techno, Tubbo and, Schlatt) gathered at the grave for sandwiches and coke which one of each was placed on the headstone as Tubbo insisted they all sat on blankets enjoying the company of each other they'd have lunch at the headstone and then go to Phil's for dinner Schlatt and Tubbo staying the night as they all slept in the family living room so no one had to be alone. They'd watch Tommys favorite movie 'Up' and share stories of the blonde. As the grave keeper would have to remove the coke and sandwich as well as a slice of cake and the final thing being a gift from the brunet and the man would always muster a "Happy birthday kid. Every Christmas when it'd snow Tubbo would still trudge out to the headstone to remove the snow from it and apologize for not being able to give him a blanket or jacket for the cold but he'd leave lunch and a coke as well as a small gift every year on Christmas the day after the first Christmas a smile spread across his face falling into the melting snow and mud sobs erupting from his mouth as his father ran after him to make sure he was okay he saw the gift tubbo left Tommy for Christmas unwrapped and secured tightly onto the headstone. Tubbo would clean it everyday. He made sure everyday Tommys headstone and the gift was always in perfect condition. You can buy a piece of land for when you pass as you're alive and so Tubbo had eventually bought the spot right next to his bestfriend for when he passed years and years later because he needed to keep living because Tommy would want him to.
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When Tubbo died at the age of 86 he had visited Tommy every day since he was 15 almost a complete total of 71 years. He never missed a single day, even his fathers funeral he showed up for lunch, when he was sick, days he'd look dead. He'd leave everything important early to enjoy a meal with his best friend.
When Tubbo was buried right next to his friend everyday the grave keeper who worked there during the lunch shift now would always bring two sandwiches and two cokes setting one of each on each of their headstones and clean them everyday as well as the two items that hung from each very secured. He'd leave the drinks and food for the the night guard to collect. It became a rule at that cemetery to bring food and cokes everyday to them no matter what, the grave keepers keeping the two friends connection story alive for all eternity. The items secured on the grave meant everything though, Tommy's been hung there proudly since the first Christmas without him, the gift Tubbo brought him never moving.
A simple item hung from the top of each headstone secured on tightly to never move.
A copper compass locket which read "Your Tubbo" hanging from Tommys. The nozzle pointed towards Tubbo's item
A copper compass locket which read "Your Tommy" hanging from Tubbo's. The nozzle pointed towards Tommys item