Archive of Our Own

“Nilva will be arriving tonight, expecting to meet a brilliant Ferengi female. Do you know any? I mean, besides Ishka? I certainly don’t.”

Quark slowly lifted his head, dragging his eyes up from the counter for what felt like the first time all morning, and looked at Brunt. A smile spread across his face. 

“I do.”

“Ooooohhhhh this had better be good! ” On the screen in front of him, Pel slammed her glass down on the table. “We were playing tongo, and I was winning!” She hissed, and Quark felt himself instinctively withdraw a little. “What do you want, Quark?”

“How long would it take you to get to Deep Space Nine?”

She stared at him for a moment, as if to make sure he wasn’t joking. His expression remained unchanged.

“You’re serious.” A beat. “First, you make me leave. Then, I hear from you maybe twice in four years, and now you’re calling me up for — what? You have a lot of nerve.”

Quark winced. “I’ll make it worth your time.”

“Unbelievable.” Some indiscernible shouts in the background caught Pel’s attention, and she glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the noise. When she turned back around, she looked mildly exasperated. “This place is a nightmare. Most uncivilized bar I’ve ever been in.” She shook her head. “Wouldn’t it make trouble for you, having a... female... around?” She lowered her voice as she spoke, no doubt to ensure her tongo-playing companions didn’t overhear. 

“Actually, a female is exactly what I need.” Quark tried to sound reassuring. Pel grunted in response. “So can you be here… tomorrow?”

Pel sighed, and thought for a moment. “Probably. I have a shuttle. If I leave now I could probably be there by morning.” She stood up. “I’ll make arrangements.”

Quark blinked. He hadn’t expected her to actually drop everything and come. “Aren’t you going to ask me why?”

Pel shrugged. “I know you’ll pay well.” Of course. “I’ll call you from the air.” She smiled, and ended the transmission.

Quark sank down onto a barstool, letting out a breath of relief. This was going to work. Things would be fine. And Pel… He shook his head. Pel was clearly content with her life, wherever she was. If he started dragging up old feelings again, it would only be worse on them both. It had just been hard, the last few weeks, since Odo and Kira finally got together. He’d been… lonelier than he realized. Not that he was keen on admitting it. He stood up again, straightening his coat. Time to go give Zek and the others the news. There was a little spring in his step as he went. Quark to the rescue, again.

Rom took the news a lot better than Quark had expected, honestly. Zek too, though it was clear to Quark that he was mad, but he reasoned that the Nagus’ anger had more to do with his nerves than Pel’s involvement. He really didn’t want to deal with telling Ishka everything, so instead he headed back for his quarters, taking great care to avoid Brunt along the way. 

Pel called back an hour later or so, and from the looks of things, she was in a shuttle. No — flying a shuttle. “You’re a pilot now?” He tried not to sound too impressed. “That seems like a waste of your talents.”

Pel scoffed quietly. “There isn’t much demand for businessmen on Solamin Prime in the middle of a war. There is demand for pilots, so I learned how to fly. Simple.” She leaned back in her seat, and Quark got a slighter better view of her ship. Not Federation, but definitely not Ferengi either. It was very sleek. “So are you going to tell me what’s going on?” she asked. With one hand, she reached up and started to peel off her prosthetic ears, rubbing the lobes beneath as if to ease the numbness. 

“Huh? Oh. Right.” Quark blinked, realizing he’d been staring. “I don’t know if you’ve been keeping up with Ferenginar’s news out there, but—”

“I know how to keep my ears to the ground.”

“Well — good. So you heard about Zek’s amendment.”

Pel’s expression crumpled, though it seemed like she was trying hard to hide it. “And about his deposition.”

“I assume you’ve never met our new acting Grand Nagus?”

“No. I’ve been spared that misfortune. Hearing about him from you is bad enough.”

“Believe me, you’re lucky.” He rolled his eyes. “You’d hate him.”

She smiled a little, softening. Quark found himself mirroring it. “I’m sure.”

“Well, Zek is trying to keep the Commissioners from voting on Brunt. He — we figured if we can prove that females would be an asset to Ferenginar’s economy, they’ll change their mind and reinstate him. My mother was going to talk, give a demonstration of sorts. But she fell ill, and can’t take the meeting.” No need to go into detail about the circumstances. “We needed someone to replace her.”

There was a long silence. Then, finally: “So you thought of me.”

Quark’s smile was hopeful. “Who else?”

“I want two bars of latinum.”

“Two bars?!”

“Or I can turn this shuttle around right now.”

Quark dragged a hand down his face. “...Two bars. Y’know, I thought you’d be more excited about the whole equal rights for females thing.”

“I am!” The reply came quickly. Perhaps a little too quickly. “I mean, I am. But you know me, Quark. I’m happy how I live, and no one here complains.”

“But they still think you’re a man, don’t they?”

“Well, yes, but they wouldn’t care either way!”

“Are you sure about that?”

She let out a breath through her teeth. “Yes, Quark, now please stop interrogating me about it.” Quark fell quiet. She was snippier than he remembered. Or maybe she’d just gotten more confident in the years since he last saw her.

“Fine.” He adjusted his brooch, and picked at a fingernail. Keep it casual. “All you have to do is prove to Nilva how competent you are, and that your intelligence is an asset to the Ferengi Alliance, not a threat.”

Pel nodded thoughtfully, then frowned. “Wait, Nilva? Like, Slug-o-Cola Nilva? I thought you said Zek needs to win over all the FCA Commissioners.”

“Welllll…” He laughed a little, voice sounding strained. “He does . But it was hard to convince them to make the trip out here. Nilva’s attending as a representative. He’ll be able to get the others on our side.” A little white lie here, a little stretch of the truth there… Pel didn’t need to know they’d been hung up on by the other 431 Commissioners. Nilva was still influential. He’d pull through. 

He had to.

“Alright. I think, for two bars of latinum, I can manage that.” Pel leaned forward, grinning into her console screen. “On one condition.” 

Quark grunted. “What?”

“Buy me dinner?”

He gave a forced laugh again, heart sinking a bit. “How can I say no?”

She beamed. “You know, Quark, I’m… impressed by your dedication. You really had a change of heart.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that. This is about my mother’s dignity. I suppose I owe her that much.”

“Your mother sounds wonderful.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far.” 

“And you really think I’m the right person to advocate in her place?”

“I’d be hard-pressed to find a more brilliant Ferengi in the whole Alliance.”

“Even though I’m a female?”

“Honestly, Pel, I know you’re a female, but you just don’t… seem like one to me.”

Strangely, she smiled. “Because I know you, I’ll take that as a compliment.” 

“It was a compliment!” Quark protested.

“Mhm.” She folded her arms over her chest. “I’ll call back when I’m about to dock.” And Quark couldn’t explain it if he tried, but she seemed somehow… lighter. 

Nilva arrived that evening, and was quite disappointed to learn that he wouldn’t be meeting Ishka. It was hard to convince him to even stick around and not go right back to Ferenginar, but they managed, with a hearty dinner that Quark supplied, and the promise that the next day, he would be graced with the presence of another of Zek’s advisors, someone who, in Quark’s opinion, was one of the brightest people in the galaxy. Nilva seemed skeptical, but when Zek pointed out that she played a role in opening trade negotiations with the Dominion, he seemed satisfied. Everything was going according to plan. All they had to do was wait for Pel to show up.

And she did, early the next morning, around 0600. Quark met her at the cargo bay where her shuttle docked, trotting over with barely concealed enthusiasm. “Pel!” He caught her in a sweeping gesture, in a surge of sudden emotion. He leaned in, and...

— was promptly pushed away. “Don’t kiss me, Quark,” Pel said, shaking him off. “I’m here to work.”

Growling a little under his breath, Quark sighed and shook his head. “You are a very confusing person.”

She smiled brightly. “Thank you!” A little pat to his cheek, and she looped her arm through his. “Shall we?” 

Nilva was an interesting man. That was really the only way Pel could describe him. But at least, for all she’d heard about his conservative values, he seemed open to hearing what Zek — and she — had to say. 

“I’m still disappointed I won’t get to meet Ishka,” he lamented to the group gathered in Quark’s quarters. “But I suppose one female is as good as any other. This Pel better be all you say she is, Zek. Or I’ll have to liquidate you myself!” He turned to Pel, who was doing her best not to scowl and make faces behind the man’s back. He held out his arm to her. “Here.” It was time for lunch. “Let’s eat.”

With a somewhat bemused look shot over her shoulder at Quark, Pel took Nilva’s arm and allowed him to lead her out.

It was strange, wearing a dress. They’d put her in one of Ishka’s, taken to the station’s tailor for sizing. Garak — Pel remembered him from her time working in the bar. Strange man, but very entertaining. He hadn’t asked a lot of questions when a spritely young male-passing Ferengi came in to be fitted for a dress, but she had been able to sense his curiosity. It was all just different from anything she’d been used to. Until she’d managed to leave her childhood home, with a suit stolen from her brother and prosthetic lobes made by hand, she’d never worn clothes at all. The dress was loose, sheer, long — it covered almost everything, and she couldn’t decide if that was good or bad. It was hard to walk in, harder still in heels, which she now wore making her way down the corridor at Nilva’s side. 

They had a table reserved for them at Quark’s. Pel could feel the eyes of the waiters on her, and she didn’t know if it was because they were in the company of a clothed female, or because they recognized her. Maybe it was both. As they settled in, she caught sight of Quark and the others gathered far above them on the top floor, staring down intently. She looked away before Nilva noticed. They were mostly quiet while they waited for their food. Pel wasn’t sure how to begin.

Luckily, they didn’t have to wait too long. Someone brought over a bottle of wine, which she was sure would relax Nilva some, and herself as well. They both stared at each other for a moment before she realized he was probably expecting her to pour. With a quiet sigh, Pel took the bottle and half filled glasses for each of them. 

“So… when did you and Zek begin working together?” Nilva leaned his chin on his hand, taking a sip of wine. “I can’t believe he’s had female advisors and no one knew! It’s unheard of. Where did he find you?”

Pel hesitated. They didn’t come up with a new cover story, so she was going to have to improvise. Hopefully, if Zek or Quark were questioned about it later, their stories would corroborate hers. “About… four years ago. The Nagus was establishing trade relations with a race in the Gamma Quadrant. I advised him on his negotiations.” Better to leave Quark out of it, just in case this backfired. He didn’t need to be dragged into it. 

“I had no idea.” Nilva looked genuinely impressed, if a little overwhelmed. “I’ve always thought Zek might be a genius. Crazy. But a genius.”

Pel smirked a little. “Oh, he is. I could tell you stories — but I won’t.” She sat up a little straighter.

Nilva nodded. “Do tell me this. Doesn’t wearing all those clothes make you feel like a deviant?”

Pel could’ve laughed, but she didn’t. “These clothes?” she wanted to say. “Absolutely.” Instead, she just shook her head, trying to be as agreeable as possible. “Not really. Oh — Don’t worry. Just know that under all these clothes, I’m totally naked.”

His face scrunched up, considering that. Finding it acceptable, he nodded. “I’ll try to remember that.” Nilva picked at his food, never taking his eyes off Pel. “Now, you'd better explain to me how allowing females to wear clothing is going to make me richer than I already am.”

Pel smiled widely. “I thought you’d never ask.” She rolled her neck and shoulders, preparing. Just another negotiation. Another business deal I have to close . “I’ll walk you through it, very simple, Nilva. So easy, even a female could understand.”

(Somewhere up above, Quark was laughing at her uncanny ability to drop an insult undetected.)

Pel continued: “You see my dress? Do you have any idea how much latinum this is worth, even in a place like this? Now, imagine how much it would sell for on Ferenginar.”

Nilva seemed to be imagining it.

“Because the market for female clothing will be new, it will create a bottleneck. Every female will rush out to buy clothing. If you market these clothing items specifically for women, it will limit their options for purchase. That means that prices can skyrocket, and everyone will still pay.” Her eyes widened, and a thought occurred. “ Actually , if the Nagus passes an additional law requiring females to wear clothes in public… then clothing goes from being a luxury item to a necessity.” Pel’s food remained largely untouched — she was enjoying this a little too much. “But taking a step back — demand will be high, supply will be low. This keeps prices high, it keeps them interested, it allows time for the market to grow. Eventually, when everyone is selling clothes for females, the bottleneck opens up, and there’s a steady cash flow with a very high profit margin.”

Nilva crossed his arms. “That’s all very well, but the sale of clothing isn’t enough to restimulate the economy. You’re going to have to do better than that, my dear.”

Pel smiled innocently. “Oh, I’m just getting started. Clothes are only the very first step. But let’s imagine — every female now owns at least one dress. What do these dresses have?” She patted her thighs. “Pockets!” She leaned across the table, lowering her voice. “And what goes in pockets?”

Nilva leaned in too, whispering like it was a special secret between only the two of them. “Latinum?”

“Exactly!” She slapped the tabletop. “And to get latinum, they’ll need jobs .”

Nilva’s expression twitched with a hint of displeasure. “So they’ll be allowed to work.”

“And why not? Clearly, many of us have the lobes for business. But not every job has to be the same. Women could be dabo girls, even!” 

“Hmm.” Nilva nodded, like he was trying to work through it all. Pel tapped her foot on the ground somewhat impatiently. “We’ll assume, for the moment, that these females go to work. They earn latinum. Then what?”

“Then we’re back to where we started!” Pel crowed triumphantly. “They’ll want to spend it! And not just on clothes. Everything! Food! Drinks! Jewelry!” She ran a finger delicately over the earrings hanging between her lobes. “Anything you can imagine a man buying — and more.” She thought back to Ishka’s notes she’d been given to review. “Hypicate cream for smooth skin and healthier profits. Feminine apparel, for a new source of latinum — for a new Ferenginar!”

Wow, Ishka is brilliant , she thought. The woman had a way with words, that was for sure. Pel hoped she’d be feeling better before she needed to leave the station. She really wanted to meet her.

“If we do this, Ferenginar will be expanding its work force and its consumer base at the same time.” She reached for her wine glass. 

“...Plenty of profit for everyone.” There was a light in Nilva’s eyes that hadn’t been there before. Pel grinned faintly. Reel him in . “You make a very compelling case.” Nilva set his fork down, dabbing at his mouth with a napkin. “But don’t forget — you need my vote. And the business I’m in has very specific needs. How will females help my profits?”

It felt in a lot of ways like an interview. Pel had sat through interviews before. And she was quite good at them. “Well, according to the beverage trades, sales of Slug-o-Cola have flattened out.” Nilva’s eyes widened a fraction. Gotcha. “I know a way you can increase sales of Slug-o-Cola by fifty to sixty percent.”

Nilva looked at her intently. “Well? I’m all ears.”

“If you market Slug-o-Cola toward females specifically , they’ll be more likely to buy it.”

He scoffed. “Are you saying they won’t buy it now?” A sense of urgency crept into his voice. “Would you? Would you buy it?”

Pel waved her hand dismissively. “Beside the point. It’s not about the individual consumer. This is about mass market sales. And the average Ferengi female won’t want to buy a bottle of something advertised as ‘The Slimiest Cola in the Galaxy’. Frankly, it’s unappealing.” 

This news seemed to catch Nilva off guard. “Oh.” He frowned. “What would you suggest? What’s more… appealing?”

Pel thought for a moment. “How about this — ‘Drink Slug-o-Cola, and Keep Your Teeth a Sparkling Shade of Green!’”

Nilva looked nothing short of delighted. “Oh, Zek was right to choose you! You're very intelligent.”

It took everything in Pel’s power not to say, “I know.” She smiled cordially. “Thank you very much.”

Nilva finished off his wine. “I think it’s time for dessert, don’t you?”

Pel let out a silent breath of relief. “That sounds wonderful.” Nilva stood, offering his arm to Pel once again. She stayed rooted in her seat, looking up at him suspiciously. “...I thought you said we were having dessert.” Her voice wavered just a bit. 

Her response seemed to give Nilva another idea. “Females enjoy desserts… now females can buy their own desserts!” He smiled widely at Pel. “Don’t worry, we are! In my quarters.”

Great . Pel forced the smile to stay on her face. If he tries to get handsy, I’ll put him in his place real fast . Swallowing back a slight grimace, she stood as well. “Lead the way.” 

Later that evening, with Nilva gone from the station, Pel was once again in the bar. This time though, she sat across from Quark. 

“Another round?”

Pel grinned, pushing her glass toward him, and leaned across the table. “You’re feeling generous today.”

“Well, what can I say? You were incredible.”

“It wasn’t hard.”

“Well, you really impressed him. That’s not easy.”

Pel scoffed. “Yeah. Impressed is not the word I’d use.”

“No?”

“Charmed, was more like it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man with such pathetic bedroom eyes.” She considered for a minute. “Except you.”

“Hey!”

She made a face, teasing. “Kidding.”

Quark frowned for a moment, a sudden thought crossing his mind. “...He didn’t — you two didn’t…”

“Why? Jealous?”

“ No , I’m just—” Just what? Worried? Concerned for her well-being? “Ah, you caught me.”

“ Nothing happened , Quark. I was very firm. I think he liked how authoritative I was.” She laughed a little. “We kissed. Well. He kissed me. Well — I kissed him back. He was… sweet, actually. In his own way. And…” She stuck her hand in pocket and withdrew a large, glistening ring. “Don’t worry,” she continued, at Quark’s look of surprise. “It’s like you said. I wouldn’t be happy as a Ferengi wife.”

Quark couldn’t help the sag of his shoulders, but he couldn’t quite work out if it was from relief or disappointment. “Not even with the new laws? No change of heart?”

“Not a chance,” she said with a smile. “It’s not for me.”

“Yeah,” he echoed. “I didn’t think so. Whatcha gonna do with the ring?”

“Sell it? Or maybe I’ll keep it, I don’t know. It’s kinda nice.” She considered for a moment, frowning. “He probably should give it to his wife. It sounds like their marriage isn’t going so well. I tried to give him some advice, but I’m afraid he might be a lost cause.”

“Huh.” 

Pel tilted her head to the side, looking at Quark curiously. “What?”

He blinked, and shook his head. “Nothing,” he replied, waving his hand dismissively. “Just thinking that I’m very, very lucky to be your friend.”

She laughed. “ Are we friends, Quark?”

“I hope so.”

She studied him for a moment, then nodded. “I hope so too.” She wiped her mouth with a napkin, then pushed her chair back, standing up. “Thank you for dinner, Quark. Really.”

He smiled faintly, not liking the way his heart sank in his chest. “It was my pleasure. And… here.” From under his chair, he withdrew two bars of gold-pressed latinum. He stood, and passed them to her. “Have a good night, Pel.”

She took the bars gingerly, and Quark didn’t miss the way her fingers lingered over his before withdrawing. Their eyes met for a moment, then she nodded abruptly and hurried off. Quark stood there, watching her go, until she’d disappeared from sight. 

“And to think you lectured me about… how did you refer to it? Making an offer?” Quark jumped at the sound of Odo’s voice behind him, pressing a hand to his chest. “Oh I’m sorry,” he continued, not sounding sorry at all. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No,” Quark grumbled, crossing his arms defensively. “What do you want?”

“Nothing,” Odo said. Too innocently, in Quark’s opinion. “Just wondering why you’re not rushing after her. It’s unlike you to not go after what you want.”

If only you knew .

“You know how hypocritical you sound, right?” Quark rolled his eyes. “If it weren’t for me, you and Major Kira never would’ve gotten together—”

“—Something I will always be grateful for.”

Quark scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “So that’s what this is! Right, Odo? You feel like you need to repay me? You just can’t bear it. Well, don’t worry! You don’t owe me a thing. In fact, I’m happy! You haven’t tried to bust me for anything in the last two weeks. Your debt to me is repaid, so with all due respect, kindly remove yourself from my business, because you don’t understand any of this.”

Odo was quiet for a moment, then grunted in agreement. “Very well, Quark.”

“Mmm.”

“I’m sorry I said anything.”

“Uh-huh.”

Odo hesitated a moment, and then turned to go, only to stop when Quark began speaking again.

“You know, you’re not an expert on love, just because you finally found someone who tolerates you.”

“I’m aware, yes.”

“And I don’t need or want your advice.”

“I never thought you did.”

“But just — hypothetically.” He tapped his chin, looking back over his shoulder in the direction Pel went. “What would you do?”

Odo smiled, in his strange, knowing way. “Goodnight, Quark.”

Quark watched his retreating back as he left. “Yeah,” he said absently. “Night.” Once Odo was gone, he went over to the bar. “Computer, locate Pel.”

“Pel is in sickbay.”

Sickbay…? He tapped the comm panel. “Quark to Infirmary.”

“Bashir here.”

“Why is Pel there?” The words came out in a tumble. “Is she alright?”

“She’s fine, Quark,” Bashir said, sounding mildly annoyed. “She’s talking to your mother.”

“Oh. Okay. Thanks, Doctor.”

Quark sighed, and poured himself a drink.

“So you’re Pel.” Ishka looked her up and down, and Pel found herself shrinking inward a bit. There was an intensity to the woman that she hadn’t expected, but she could see where Quark got his shrewdness from. After a moment, Ishka smiled widely. “It’s wonderful to meet you!”

Pel let out a sigh of relief. “You as well,” she said, and sat down in the chair beside the other’s bed. “Everyone sings your praises.” She paused. “Well, besides—”

“Besides Quark, I know,” Ishka finished. “He’s so very stuck in his ways, but he’s my son, and I love him.” 

Pel smiled faintly. “I know,” she said. “I understand. For what it’s worth, he cares a lot about you.”

“I know,” Ishka said. “But he doesn’t make it easy.”

“No,” Pel agreed. “He does not.”

Ishka sat up a little straighter. “Well! Enough about me, and enough about Quark! I want to hear about you. The brilliant young woman who convinced Chairman Nilva to reinstate Zek and pass his amendment! Where did they find you?”

Pel laughed a little, embarrassment bringing heat to her lobes, and she rubbed the back of her neck self-consciously. “I didn’t do any better than you could’ve done. You laid the groundwork for all of this. I just finished the job.” She stared down at her lap. “Actually, I’m a friend of Quark’s. We’ve known each other for years, though it’s been a while since we last spoke.” She glanced back up, trying to gauge Ishka’s expression. “I take it he never mentioned me.”

“No,” Ishka said. “But don’t take it personally.”

“I don’t. I just—” Pel shook her head, laughing to herself a bit. “I was a waiter, here at his bar. I left Ferenginar, disguised as a man, and kept up appearances the whole time. No one knew.” Well, almost no one. She thought about the Trill, Dax, who she told over lunch at the replimat. A moment of weakness, swept up in her emotions. “But Rom, he found out. He was… angry, I think, because Quark and I were really close. I guess he was jealous. I don’t blame him. So when he discovered who I was, he exposed me.”

Ishka’s eyes went wide with shock. “Rom? My Rom? I’m sorry, I — I’m just surprised. That doesn’t sound like him at all.”

Pel shrugged. “It’s okay. I get it. Things were different… Anyway, Quark gave me ten bars of latinum and told me to leave. Said there was no place for a female on the station. I wasn’t satisfied with that. The Nagus was here at the time, actually, and I… I went to him, angry, and ripped off my prosthetic lobes. I practically threw them in his lap! He was furious, of course. This was before he met you, I guess. And if it hadn’t been for the fact that he’d already taken financial advice from me too…” Her eyes sparkled with amusement. “I think he would’ve thrown Quark and I both in prison. Instead, we agreed that I would go, and they would all keep my secret.”

She settled back in her chair, letting out a breath with the conclusion of the story. “And that’s that. I boarded an Andorian transport, and I’ve been traveling ever since. Doing business is easy as a man.”

Ishka seemed to ponder this for a moment. It seemed like she was still processing everything Pel told her. “So even now, no one knows?”

She shook her head. “Other than the Ferengi on this station, no one has a clue. My business associates might not have cared about one female, but word would have gotten back to Ferenginar eventually. I’m quite good at what I do.”

Ishka smiled. “So you are. I am humbled by you, my dear. You’re doing what I wish I had the lobes for at your age. My life might have turned out so much different.”

Pel stood, grasping Ishka’s hands in hers. “But you’ve done something wonderful here, now! The Nagus respects you! He…” Her voice cracked a little. “ Loves you. I might have done the negotiations, but you’re the reason every Ferengi woman has a future! Be proud , Ishka! You deserve that much.”

Ishka fell quiet for a moment. Then she nodded, eyes shining. “Thank you, Pel.” She squeezed her hand tightly. “I will take your words to heart.” Scooting over slightly, she patted the spot on the bed beside her, and Pel sat. The fabric of her dress shifted under her uncomfortably, and she was starting to regret not changing after Nilva departed. She was still far more comfortable in pants. “So what’s next for you, then? You can do whatever you want, now.”

With a quiet sigh, Pel shook her head. “I don’t know. I… like my life. I don’t want to change it. Just because you have these rights doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy for you all at first. I don’t want to lose everything I’ve worked so hard for, just for the sake of… I don’t know. Living as a female?” 

When she met Ishka’s eyes again, the older woman was looking at her strangely. “You shouldn’t have to,” she assured her gently. “But — you’re speaking as if these new laws don’t apply to you. I understand your reservations, but I’d think you’d want to… I don’t know… stand up, be a role model, empower all the young women who will come after us… You could be very powerful.”

Pel knew Ishka was right, and guilt nibbled away at her, knowing that her decision to keep her anonymity was a selfish one. But just the thought of going back to living as a female, suppressive laws or not…

“I don’t know.” She shook her head, finding the words stalling on her tongue, her breath catching in her throat. “I don’t — I can’t explain it, Ishka, I’m sorry—”

Immediately, Ishka’s arms were around her, tugging her into a comforting embrace. “Shh, it’s okay,” she murmured, as Pel sagged in her grip. “You don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t owe anyone anything.”

Pel’s hands came up to rest on Ishka’s back, and to her horror, she realized she was crying. “I know, it’s…” She quickly wiped at her eyes, trying to chase away the tears welling up. “Frinx.” Her breath shuddered. “I know that… I was only doing this, pretending to be a man, because I had to. It was the only way I could make a life for myself. And now that… now that things are different, I should feel… like I don’t have to hide who I am, but, I’m… I’m not… I don’t…”

Ishka pulled back slightly, bringing her hand up to Pel’s face. With her thumb, she brushed away a few stray tears, cupping her cheek. “No one can tell you how you should feel. You can do — and be — anything you want.”

Pel sniffled a little, and blinked tears away, frowning a bit. “...What?” She shook her head, like she hadn’t heard Ishka right. “What did you say?”

Ishka grinned faintly, a knowingly glint in her eye. “Only you can decide who you are. And you have your whole life to figure it out.”

Pel fell quiet after that, turning away slightly. She sat on the edge of the bed, hands folded in her lap, staring at the floor, and Ishka sat with her patiently, a hand on her shoulder. After a little while, Pel pulled herself together, looking back at Ishka with a tentative smile. “Sorry,” she apologized again. “I didn’t mean to break down on you like that.” 

“No need to apologize, my dear,” Ishka hummed. “Nothing wrong with being emotional. These are emotional times.”

“Yeah,” Pel echoed. “It’s… Ishka, can I tell you something?”

“Anything.”

“I…” Her voice was quiet. “I like being — I like living as a man.” She faltered for a moment. “I like being seen as a man, and I don’t think… I don’t think it’s just because that was preferable to living like a typical Ferengi female. And I’m not… I’m not really sure what that means.” She wiped at her eyes aggressively, uncertainty and frustration beginning to bubble up. “But I don’t think I… feel… like a female anymore.”

The words hung in the air, the room falling into silence. Pel drew in a breath and let it out shakily, and Ishka was quiet. Her hand never moved from Pel’s shoulder.

“How long have you felt like this?” she asked finally.

“At least… a year or so, I think,” Pel said. “Probably longer. It’s... hard to say.”

Ishka nodded thoughtfully. “I understand. And I believe you.”

Pel blinked. “You do?”

“Mhm.” Ishka’s voice was soothing, and Pel felt herself relax, if only a little. “You know yourself better than anyone, after all.”

That was a good point. She smiled slightly. “Well… yeah. I just…”

“You expected your judgement to be questioned?”

“Exactly.” 

“You might encounter that, from some. I won’t pretend otherwise. You might meet people who will dismiss your feelings, who will tell you that you’re just doing what you have to, to make your way. That you’re… breaking gender stereotypes, just refusing to conform to our society’s expectations of women.” As Ishka spoke more, Pel’s heart sank a little. She was right. It was going to be really, really hard. But… “But they don’t know you. They’re not in here,” she poked Pel’s forehead. “Or in here.” She patted her chest. Pel nodded, covering Ishka’s hand with her own and gripping it tightly. “Understand?”

Pel nodded earnestly. “I do. Thank you. Truly.” She leaned in, pressing a kiss to Ishka’s cheek. “You’ve been so kind.”

“It’s nothing that a mother wouldn’t do for her children. I’ve raised so many boys — Quark, Rom, and Nog, when his mother left. I always wanted a daughter.” Ishka softened. “But I’d be happy with another son. I think anyone would be lucky to have a child like you.” Pel’s heart swelled with appreciation for Ishka’s kindness, and the two smiled at each other for a moment. Ishka squeezed Pel’s hand, and then released it. “Now. Let me ask you something else.” Her eyes sparkled with humor. “Do you have feelings for Quark?” 

Pel flushed, covering her face with her hands and peeking through her fingers in embarrassment. “I… Yes? No? It’s complicated. Like everything else in my life.” She snorted, a dry laugh. “I really loved him, back then. And I think… I know he had feelings for me too. But it’s been so long. I moved on, I’m sure he did too. But being back here brings up a lot of memories… and feelings.” She shook her head. “It doesn’t really matter, anyway. What would we do? Get married? I don’t want that. His life is here, and mine is out there.” She gestured toward the arching window at the sky outside. “Besides.” She smiled wistfully. “I don’t know how he’ll feel about… you know.”

Ishka nodded in understanding. “Well, together or not, he’s lucky to have you in his life. And if he knew what was good for him, he’d go with you.”

Pel laughed quietly. “That’s what I tried to tell him four years ago.”

“And he didn’t listen?”

“Of course not. But that’s Quark for you.” She sighed, and rested her chin on her hands, folded together. “I probably do still love him. Horrible, isn’t it?”

Ishka just shook her head. “Not if he makes you happy.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Pel hopped down off the bed. “I should probably talk to him.” 

“I think that’s a good idea.”

“Thank you again, for everything.” Pel took a breath. “I’ll let you rest. It must be getting late. Goodnight, Ishka. Computer, what time is it?”

“The time is now 2530 hours.” 

Quark sat up in bed. He’d left the bar two hours ago, having left Frool in charge of closing up for the night. But he hadn’t been able to fall asleep. He was too distracted, his mind occupied with the day’s transpired events. And what was Pel doing with my mother? Surely she couldn’t still be there, right? What were they even talking about?

“Computer, locate Pel.”

“Pel is in cargo bay three.”

He let out a breath, and walked over to his comm panel. A few moments later, her face popped up on the screen. 

“You’re not leaving, are you?” The question tumbled out of him in a rush, seeing the interior of her shuttle behind her. 

Pel laughed lightly. “No, Quark. Not until tomorrow. It’s just that someone neglected to reserve quarters for me.”

Quark cursed himself inwardly, scowling. “Knew I forgot something. Well — hey. I know it’s late, but… You should come over to mine. Have a drink.”

Pel hesitated, thinking about it for a moment. Then she nodded. “Sure. I’ll be there.” 

And with that done, Quark returned to his room, pulling on his soft satin robe and slippers. He knotted the belt tightly around his waist. “Computer, lights at twenty percent.”

With the lights dimmed, he hovered near the replicator, restlessly awaiting Pel’s arrival. After a few minutes, he crossed the room and instead pulled out a few bottles from his lower cabinets. He began to mix himself a Stardrifter, just to keep his hands busy. He downed the glass, and poured another. Just as he was finishing that one off, the door chimed. He set it down on the counter. “Come in!”

The door swooshed open, and Pel poked her head through the doorway before entering tentatively. “Hi. It’s — late, are you sure this is okay? You look like you were getting ready for bed.”

Quark shook his head. “Couldn’t sleep. Come on in.” 

“Me either. What are you drinking?”

Quark glanced over at his glass. “Stardrifter.”

“I’ll have the same.”

He laughed quietly and got to work, gesturing for Pel to sit. She looked around for a moment before settling on the couch, taking off her shoes and tucking her legs up under her. She’d changed into a pair of loose pants that ballooned out at the ankles and a large shirt that masked her figure. Not, of course, that Quark noticed any of this. Of course. He joined her a minute later, settling beside her. “A toast,” Quark said warmly. “To another successful business venture!” They tapped their glasses together. 

“How much d’you think Zek had to pay Nilva?” Pel asked, taking a sip of the green drink.

Quark snorted. “At least a hundred bars. Probably more.”

“Did Brunt leave?” 

“Just after dinner.”

Pel laughed quietly. “Good riddance.”

“I agree completely.”

Pel leaned her elbow up on the back of the sofa, chin in hand. She smiled, and Quark blinked, smiling back hesitantly.

“So.”

A pause. “So.”

“It’s strange being back.”

“I bet.” Quark shifted, trying to get comfortable. “You’ve been… well?”

She nodded. “Business has been good.”

“Good.” He looked away. “And you’re somewhere safe, with all this war business?”

“As safe as anyone can be.” Pel turned away, looking straight ahead. “It’s funny, isn’t it? Considering everything. We were the first ones to learn about the Dominion. And now look what’s happened.”

Quark huffed quietly, mirroring her position. “Tell me about it. They were not great guests.”

Pel frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Of course she doesn’t know. Why would she? “The Dominion invaded the station last year. The Federation only took it back a few months ago.”

Pel’s eyes widened. “What? Quark, I had no idea! Are you — was everyone okay?”

“We survived.” Quark decided it wasn’t worth going into the whole story. Rom’s imprisonment had been traumatic enough. But the more he thought about it, the more uncomfortable he began to feel about his involvement with the Dominion. He and Pel were the first of Deep Space Nine’s residents to learn about them. He’d been with Sisko for their first contact with the Jem’Hadar and the Vorta. And he’d been one of the only ones to play both sides. Yet, through all of it, he knew exactly where he stood. “I have no love for the Dominion, though, that’s for sure.”

“Me neither.” Pel shook her head. “This war is the reason I’ve been stuck on Solamin Prime. If I hadn’t won so much latinum playing tongo the night you called, I don’t think I would’ve been able to leave. They don’t want ships leaving the system except in emergencies. I had to pay off the air traffic attendant for clearance to even leave orbit.”

Quark laughed quietly. “Well, I appreciate it.”

They fell into silence for a few minutes, each quietly sipping their drinks. Silence, it seemed, was easier to navigate. It was difficult to know what to say, with so many years behind them, and so much business left unfinished. When Pel’s glass was empty, she sat it down on the table, and turned to face Quark again. He noticed her watching him, and glanced over. “What?”

“Nothing,” she said. “Just thinking about how angry Zek must have been, knowing I was coming back.”

Quark hummed in amusement. “Maybe a little. I think you humbled him. But he was grateful, I’m sure. And he should be! Like it or not, he knows how good you are. And he knew it then too, even if he wouldn’t admit it.”

“You wouldn’t admit it then, either.”

He sighed, resting his head against the back of the couch. “Do we have to get into this?”

“I think we should.” Pel sat up a little straighter, resting her hands on her knees. “Because something still doesn’t line up, Quark. I know you’re not as radical as your brother, or even the Nagus at this point, at least when it comes to females and equality. So I want to know why you went through all this trouble.”

Quark grit his teeth together, trying to curb his annoyance. “I told you,” he said tightly. “It was for my mother’s dignity. Also, Zek is the most powerful man in the Ferengi alliance. What was I going to do, not help the Grand-frinxing-Nagus?”

“You could’ve backed Brunt. With you on his side, he’d probably be getting sworn in tomorrow.”

He scoffed. “And how long would that have lasted? Besides. Zek and I might not see eye to eye on everything, but Brunt is just…” He made a face. “You know?”

“Still haven’t met him, but I’ll take your word for it.”

They laughed. 

“Do you think this is going to work?” Quark asked, breaking the silence once again. “Do you really think females are gonna end up equal to males?”

“Well, I hope so,” Pel said. “It’s the right direction, anyway.” She looked at him questioningly. “But you don’t want that, do you?”

He shook his head. “I’m coming around to it.”

“For how long?”

“Huh?”

“ How long have you been… ‘coming around to it?’”

Quark fell quiet for a moment. “...Since I met you, I guess.”

She smirked. “You softie.”

He gasped in mock offense. “How dare you!”

Pel laughed, leaning in a bit and letting her forehead almost drop against Quark’s shoulder. “Come on. Is that really true?”

“Is it so hard to believe?”

She looked up. “No, I guess not.”

Their faces were close, inches apart. They looked at each other for a moment, and after only a moment of hesitation, Quark started to lean in. At the same time, Pel scrambled away, jumping to her feet. “Quark, I have to tell you something!”

Quark sat up, eyes snapping fully open, bewildered. “What?” He shook his head, clearing it of the cobwebs that had begun to spin themselves in his brain. “What’s wrong?”

She took a deep breath, starting to pace back and forth in front of him. “Nothing! Nothing’s wrong, just—”

Quark watched her nervously. They’d been here before, nearly this exact situation. That confession hadn’t gone well, and he was starting to worry about what secret Pel could possibly be keeping this time. But he didn’t want to make things worse, so he forced himself to be patient. 

Pel seemed to appreciate this. “I was talking to Ishka earlier,” she said once she’d calmed down a little. “She said something, and it really… put things into perspective for me.”

Quark eyed her warily. Whatever Ishka had said to her couldn’t possibly be good. Maybe he was right to have worried. But he didn’t say anything, and only nodded slowly, encouraging her to continue. “...Okay.”

“You said something the other day. About me not seeming like a female.” Pel fiddled with the fabric of her shirtsleeves. “Did you mean that?”

Quark gave her a strange look. “I’m not sure which answer is least likely to get me in trouble.”

She stopped, fixing him with a withering glare. “Just answer the question.”

He half-held his hands up in surrender. “Okay. Okay. Yes, I meant it. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear. I know we’re supposed to be all excited about female… empowerment or whatever, but you’re not like any female I know, and that includes my mother. She never had the lobes to do what you did.”

Pel scowled. “She didn’t need to. She’s proof that it was possible to make change while being true to herself.”

“Okay. So she was… true to herself, or whatever. And you weren’t. What’s your point?”

“My point is that I was .” She crossed her arms across her chest, digging nails into skin. Quark squinted, frowned, and finally shook his head, standing up and walking over to the counter to pour himself another drink. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Pel followed him. “I’m trying to explain!” She grabbed Quark by the arm, turning him around, so they were standing chest-to-chest, Quark glaring down impatiently and Pel looking up at him with a look of determination painted across her face. “I don’t want to be… I don’t feel like a female anymore,” she said finally, the words finding freedom in the silence that fell between them. “I’ve been living as a man for so long, and I realized that I’m happier . I feel like myself !”

Quark’s head dropped, and he closed his eyes, processing. Finally, he took Pel by the shoulders and gently moved her away, enough so that he could turn his back and fix his drink without needing to look at her. He didn’t respond. He didn’t have a clue what to even say.

That, clearly, was not satisfactory for Pel. “Quark?” she prompted, voice hesitant. “Say something?” She came around to stand beside him. “Are you mad?”

Quark was stunned. He felt like he’d been completely blindsided. Of all the things Pel could’ve said, why did it have to be that? Was he mad? No. Of course not. It was worse than that. “Are you sure…” he began, the words feeling heavy on his tongue. There was nothing to say, nothing would be right , and he knew it. “Are you sure you don’t just prefer acting like a man because it was easier? Because you could work, earn a profit, actually be respected by people? Because, I get it! I do. And I support what you’re doing. I hope you know that. But it’s different from being a man. And now that the Nagus’ bill passed, it’s okay! You don’t have to conform to… gender roles, if you don’t want to.” He remembered Dax talking about something called ‘gender non-conforming’ before, and though he didn’t fully understand it, he thought it was something like this. “You can work, and earn profit, and still be a female!” His voice was rising in pitch, and he took his freshly-mixed drink and downed it, immediately pouring himself another. “Are you really saying you want to be a man?”

Pel walked away from the counter, back to the couch, and threw herself down, trying to keep her simmering anger in check. Ishka warned her about this. What was it she had said?

“ You might meet people who will dismiss your feelings, who will tell you that you’re just doing what you have to, to make your way. That you’re… breaking gender stereotypes, just refusing to conform to our society’s expectations of women. But they don’t know you. They’re not in here.”

That was the most frustrating part. Quark did know her, or at least she thought he did. And in many ways, he was in her heart. Deeply. And somehow, she hadn’t expected this to be the hill Quark chose to die on. Of everything that happened — between them, and in the last 26 hours — this is what upset him? He was unbelievable. 

“No,” Pel snapped, harsher than perhaps was due. “I’m saying that I am a man.” She scowled. “Or… something like that.” She glanced at Quark again, who had finally turned around to look at her. “I’m sorry if that’s too hard for you to understand, or if you have some sort of issue with that. But that’s not my problem.”

Quark stayed rooted in place. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Pel watched him, and when it seemed like he had no response, she grimaced. “Right. I’m not surprised. I’m going. Bye, Quark.”

He was at her side before she ever reached the door, holding her by the arms to keep her from walking out. Something I should have done years ago . “Wait!” She froze, and he slowly released her, bringing his wrists together in a pleading gesture. “Just — wait, okay?” Pel’s glare didn’t subside, but she crossed her arms and gave him a curt nod. “Listen. I’m — sorry, okay? I don’t doubt you. Or… I trust your judgement.” He allowed himself the smallest of smiles. “At least, it’s never been wrong before.” The corners of Pel’s mouth twitched a little. “If you say that you’re a man, then…” He took a step back, spreading his arms wide. “You’re a man. It’s as simple as that. I understand! Jadzia’s my best friend, I’ve had the ‘gender conversation’ with her before. And don’t get me wrong, this is good news! I just… worry that it’ll be hard for you.”

Pel scoffed. “Harder than being a female?” Her voice was quiet.

“In a way.”

Despite the rage Quark’s earlier words sparked in her, Pel felt her anger subsiding. She was probably an idiot for it, but she trusted Quark. She believed, for whatever reason , that he was genuinely concerned for her well-being. Her safety, even. And he was right that in some ways, it would be harder. This whole conversation was proof of that, wasn’t it? But it only made her more certain that this was right. 

“I appreciate your concern for me,” she said, still treading carefully. “And your… understanding.” Actually, she figured that Jadzia would probably be a good influence on Quark in this regard. She’d been so open and accepting before. “But this isn’t a decision . It’s just a fact. Like numbers. Like… profits. Profits can change. They do change. But it’s not up to you, or me, or anyone how . They just are what they are.”

Quark nodded slowly, and sat back down. He placed his hand on the spot next to him, and looked at Pel expectantly. Hopefully. After a moment, she conceded, and came to sit beside him, shoulder to shoulder. Not quite touching, but almost. “Okay.” His voice was subdued. “I’m sorry.”

She blinked, and glanced at him. She hadn’t expected that, but it sounded sincere. Probably because Quark and ‘sorry’ were such an unusual combination. “...Thank you. I accept your apology.” 

“So.” He cleared his throat. “What should I… What am I supposed to call you now?” He looked awkward, rubbing the back of his neck with a bashfulness Pel didn’t know he was capable of. “Your name is — you’re still Pel, right? I mean, that’s okay?” She nodded with a hum of light amusement. Quark continued, trying to wrack his brain for everything Jadzia had ever told him about what happens when Trill symbionts change hosts. “And what about the, ah… your… the pronouns… you use?” 

Pronouns. Strangely, Pel hadn’t thought about that at all. It had been the least of her worries, with everything else going on. She just hadn’t thought about it. And Ishka hadn’t asked, so… Funny, that Quark of all people would be the one to bring it up. “I’m… not sure,” she confessed. “Not right now, anyway. Call me whatever you want, okay? Whatever feels right.” 

Quark nodded. “I can do that.” Pel relaxed, just a little, and picked up her empty glass. Quark immediately stood up, plucking it from her hand. “Another?” 

“Please.”

As Quark mixed her drink at the counter, Pel got comfortable, tucking her feet up under her again and propping her elbow on the back of the couch so she could watch Quark work. Among his other talents, he really was an excellent bartender. “What are you smiling at?” he asked, carrying two Stardrifters over.

“You.”

“Not because you’re plotting my murder, I hope.”

With a snort, she reached out to take her glass from him. “Is that common for you?” 

Quark smirked and sat down beside her again. “More than you’d think.”

“Well, no nefarious plans here, I promise.” Sipping her drink, Pel curled up a little more. 

“Can I ask you something else?” Quark changed the subject suddenly, gaze fixed on Pel with surprising intensity. She shrugged, and gestured for him to go on. “You’re happy? This makes you happy?”

Something swelled in Pel’s chest; a deep appreciation, fondness… love, she accepted bitterly. Even after so long. She nodded, closing one hand into a fist over her heart. “More than anything.” 

Quark sat back, satisfied, and maybe a little relieved. “Good.” He tapped his nails against his glass. “Good.”

They drank in silence. When they were finished, Quark took Pel’s glass, setting it down alongside his on the table. He rolled his neck, stretched with his arms out wide, and settled back. In one smooth motion, he dropped one arm over Pel’s shoulders.

“Smooth,” she teased. But she didn’t move away. Instead, she shifted closer, tucking her head into the crook of his arm. Quark smiled, and absently ran his finger along the ridge of her right lobe. She sighed, a mix of contentment and wistfulness, and closed her eyes. The room fell quiet, Pel listening to the sound of Quark’s heart thrumming in his chest. It wasn’t exactly soothing, but in that moment, it was absolutely perfect.

“What happens now?” Quark’s voice was quiet, far more uncertain than she’d ever heard him sound. 

“I don’t know.” She didn’t want to think about it. So much left unsaid. And she was scheduled to leave tomorrow. As glad as she was to have cleared the air, she knew this was only going to make their second goodbye harder. “It doesn’t feel right for me to walk back into your life and expect everything to go back to how it was before.”

“And I expect I can’t convince you to stay.” There was still a little hope in his voice. Just a bit. 

“You could sell the bar to me,” Pel joked. Quark scoffed, and she laughed, hiding her face more against his side. “No. I like being my own boss. And I like traveling. There’s a whole universe out there.”

He considered for a moment. “You’ve been stuck on a planet, though. It’s practically the same thing. You could stick around, just until the war is over.”

Pel opened her eyes, smiling brightly up at him. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a very good businessman?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re an incredibly hard sell?”

Pel just shook her head, and rested her palm against Quark’s chest, fingers splayed. “...You had feelings for me before I told you I was a woman, right?”

Quark frowned for a moment, not expecting them to return to this conversation. But perhaps it was for the best. “...Of course I did,” he mumbled, as strange as it was to admit. “And I…”

And I still do .

“It’s okay,” Pel said softly. “I know.” She reached over and placed her hand on top of Quark’s where his rested on the back of her head. Their fingers linked together and after a moment, Quark’s arms slid fully around her. Pel nestled against him, back to chest, and closed her eyes. Quark’s embrace was strong and warm. Carefully, she guided their joined hands to her lips and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. Quark huffed quietly and pressed his face against her neck. Pel just smiled.

Whatever either of them wanted to say, they couldn’t get the words out. So they talked about nothing, and everything. Chatting about activity on the station, and profits from the bar, and the first time Pel flew a shuttle and almost crashed on a small moon. They exchanged new business tips and stories. He told her all about Nog’s Starfleet career, and they exchanged stories of times spent in the Gamma Quadrant. 

At some point, 0300 hours came and went. And when she realized this, Pel reluctantly disentangled herself from Quark and moved to get up. “It’s so late.” She couldn’t hide the disappointment in her voice, and Quark’s mild grunt of protest suggested that he felt the same way. “I should let you sleep.” She yawned. “I should let me sleep.”

Quark caught her by the arm. “Pel,” he said, voice cracking a little. She froze, turning. They were face to face.

“Yes?” Her voice was no more than a whisper. She could feel his breath against her skin. “Quark—”

His other hand came up to cup her face, and pulled her into a kiss. Pel responded instinctively, hands grasping to hold onto anything they could find; a hand, a leg, a sleeve. She was half on top of him, pressing against him in a desperate desire for contact. Quark held her close, one hand sliding around to her back. It felt almost like that night they’d spent in the Gamma Quadrant together all those years ago, only this time, there were no secrets, and no need to hide. This time, Quark kissed her first.

“Pel...” He leaned back just enough to whisper his request, a single word. “Stay.” 

How could she possibly refuse, when she wanted so badly to say yes?

Quark took Pel by the hand and they stumbled together into his bedroom. 

This would all be over in the morning. But for now, they were both going to enjoy it.

Pel woke up curled in Quark’s arms. Her prosthetic ears had been discarded to the bedside table, and Quark, still half-asleep, was idly stroking the back of her lobes. In the cargo bay, her shuttle was ready for departure, the rest of her life waiting for her.

She closed her eyes and fell back asleep.

The afternoon brought news of Zek’s reinstatement as Grand Nagus, and with it, the formal passing of his amendment to the Ferengi Bill of Opportunities. Doctor Bashir discharged Ishka, and upon their happy reunion, Zek decided that there was cause for celebration. 

Quark couldn’t agree more.

The bar was crowded and busy, just as it should be, so Dax offered to host a game of Tongo in her quarters. That evening, six Ferengi, one Hupyrian, and a Bajoran crowded into the home of a Trill and a Klingon. 

“Confront,” Jadzia said.

“Confront,” repeated Quark.

“Evade,” Nog added with a frown.

“Retreat.” Rom threw his cards down with a huff of annoyance.

Leeta looked over his shoulder. “How does this game work, again?”

Zek was smirking behind his cards. “Acquire.”

“I’ll acquire,” Ishka echoed.

All eyes turned to Pel. “Confront,” she said mildly. 

Zek spread his cards out on the table. “Full consortium!” he crowed. Grumbles from everyone else followed as they folded. Everyone except Pel, who laid her hand out as well, beaming. 

“Total monopoly.” She swept the latinum from the center into her satchel.

“I need a drink,” Ishka said, standing up. “Does anyone want anything?” She rested her hand on Pel’s shoulder as she passed, squeezing gently. 

Standing off to the side, Worf turned to the man beside him. “Is this… entertaining for you?” Maihar’du said nothing. Jadzia looked over and smiled, blowing Worf a teasing kiss, which earned her an elbow in the side from Quark. She laughed jovially. 

Rom stood up and went to help Ishka with drinks from the replicator, and everyone else split off into smaller conversations — Quark and Zek, Nog making his way over to Worf and Maihar’du to try and break up the awkwardness, Leeta, Jadzia, and Pel remaining at the table. 

“Something wrong?” Jadzia must have noticed the way Pel was staring down at nothing, absently fiddling with the corner of a card. Pel blinked and looked up, shaking her head quickly. 

“Oh — sorry. I’m fine.”

Jadzia smiled. “Quark troubles?”

Pel laughed quietly. “Sort of. It’s — actually, can I… talk to you?”

Jadzia looked surprised, but only for a moment. She nodded. “Of course.” She stood. “Excuse us for a few minutes, Leeta.” She gestured for Pel to follow her into the other room. With the door closed behind them, she turned to Pel expectantly. “What’s up?”

“What’s it like, changing genders?”

Clearly, that was not the question Jadzia was expecting, but she took it in stride. She sat down on the bed, and patted the spot beside her, inviting Pel to join her. She perched on the edge, nails digging into her thighs. Jadzia smiled in a way that was probably supposed to be reassuring, but it did little ease Pel’s nerves. “Well, it’s… It’s different for every Trill, and sometimes it’s different from host to host. Tobin found it to be a very strange sensation, after after a woman for his first host. Curzon really embraced it. I try my best to distinguish myself from past hosts, but my sense of gender is pretty loose at this point. I know it’s very different for some. I’ve known hosts whose own gender identity changed after gaining their symbiont’s memories of past lives. It’s perfectly normal.”

Pel listened intently, but she still looked troubled. “And people you knew in those past lives? How do they feel about the change?”

Jadzia thought for a minute. “Sometimes it takes a while, but in my experience, everyone picks up on it quickly. Same Dax, same memories, but new name, new pronouns—”

Pel sat up straighter. “Pronouns! Yes!”

A knowing look from Jadzia was laced with faint amusement. “I’m guessing you’re not just interested in Trill gender theory. Right?”

Pel fidgeted slightly. “...No.” She looked at Jadzia, who smiled patiently. “Um… If I said… I wanted to use multiple pronouns, would that be… weird?”

“Of course not.” Jadzia was quick to assure her. “I’m assuming it’s not very common on Ferenginar—” Pel shook her head. “But many other worlds have far more enlightened views. Gender pronouns are simply a tool for identification — they don’t have to mean anything, if you don’t want them to.”

Pel felt like her head was spinning a little. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“Let’s say — I’m a woman right now, right? Jadzia is a woman, and I feel comfortable maintaining that identity. But Benjamin — Captain Sisko — he calls me ‘Old Man’, a nickname he gave to Curzon. I like that. It feels right. And if other people were to call me a man, or use he/him pronouns for me, I might have questions, but it wouldn’t necessarily feel wrong . I’ve found that a lot of joined Trills use they/them in addition to their current host’s pronouns, to more accurately reflect the fluidity of their gender. Emony, my third host, did that. Symbionts, on their own, have no gender. Usually, the first host becomes the… pattern, I suppose. They lay the groundwork, and give the symbiont their first sense of gender. But sometimes, it’s the other way around. Torias had a friend who had the honor of being a first host. Instead of imprinting their gender on the Viis symbiont, Viis’ lack of gender overpowered Jila. They ended up using all pronouns, although more often they preferred they/them, or to be referred to only by name.” She gave Pel a sympathetic smile, seeing how overwhelmed she looked. “You know,” she continued. “There’s nothing wrong with experimenting. Just trying something until you find what fits, and feels right.”

Pel nodded, trying to gather her thoughts. “This probably won’t come as much of a surprise to you,” she began. “But I’ve spent the last five years living almost exclusively as a man, and it sort of…”

“Made you realize you probably weren’t as much of a woman as you thought?” Jadzia guessed.

“Yes!” Pel nodded fervently. “I knew you’d understand.” 

Jadzia smiled warmly. “Thank you for trusting me. Does Quark know?”

“I told him last night.”

“How’d he take it?”

Pel squinted. “Somehow… both better and worse than I expected?”

Jadzia laughed. “That makes sense. But you two are okay?”

“Oh yes.” Pel nodded. “He never really saw me as a woman anyway. I’m sure some of that was just denial, but…” She shrugged. “I’m sort of… grateful? I don’t know if that makes sense. But it’s nice to know that someone sees me the way I want to be seen, even though they know that I’m…”

“Hey.” Jadzia put her hands on Pel’s shoulders, looking at her seriously. “If you say you’re a man, you’re a man.”

She let out a small breath. “You’re right. Thank you.” 

Jadzia gave her arms a squeeze. “Of course. Now let me guess. You’re trying to work out what pronouns you’re comfortable with?” Pel nodded. “Alright. Walk me through what you’re thinking.”

“Well…” She fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “Almost everyone uses he/him for me. Obviously. And — I like that. It feels like me. It didn’t used to. Back when I was living on the station, it was so new… It always felt like people were talking about someone else. But it’s different now. Does that make sense?” 

“It does.” Jadzia smiled encouragingly. “Go on.”

“I don’t… I really don’t think I’m a female anymore? I don’t feel like one. Quark asked me if it was just because I was… breaking gender stereotypes or something.” She frowned as Jadzia laughed.

“Quark learned the term ‘gender non-conforming’ and was never the same since,” she said in amusement. “He’s not the one who’s an expert on your gender. You are.”

Ishak had said almost the same thing. Pel felt a little more secure. “Right. So, I’m not a female, but is it bad that I don’t mind those pronouns? I mean — being called ‘she’ doesn’t really bother me, you know? As long as the person saying it knows. Does that make sense?”

Jadzia considered this for a moment. “It does,” she concluded. “It is a little less common, but you’re not the only person I know who’s had that relationship to certain pronouns. If you like them, for any reason, it doesn’t matter if they align with anyone else’s perception of who you are.”

Pel shook her head. “I think you might be the smartest person I know.”

Jadzia grinned. “I do have almost 400 years of life experience.” 

“That’ll do it.” Pel smiled. “Okay. So what about… you mentioned they/them. What about those?”

“Well, that’s up to you. They’re nice as an alternative, when the whole concept of gender is too much to deal with. Sometimes, I use them for myself, without even thinking about it. You could always try it out.”

“It does sound nice,” Pel admitted. “Sometimes — especially in Ferengi society — I think it would be easier if we didn’t have gender at all.”

Jadzia grinned. “You are not the first person I’ve heard say that before. And maybe you’ll get there one day. Some species have. But the existence of gender is not harmful in and of itself. It’s strict gender roles that are the problem. And thanks to you, and a lot of people out there, Ferenginar is taking steps in the right direction. I hope you’re proud.”

She nodded. “I am. It’s… really strange to think about, actually. But I’m glad Quark called me. I’m glad I could help. And I’m glad I got to see him — and all of you — again.”

“I’m happy for you.” Jadzia hugged her tightly. It caught Pel off guard, but she quickly returned the embrace. “Now, we should probably get back out there before my husband decides he’s had enough company.” 

“Of course.” Pel stood, smoothing down her jacket. “There’s more latinum to win!”

“Sorry everyone!” Jadzia emerged from the bedroom with Pel behind her. “We didn’t mean to keep you all waiting. Pel and I were just commiserating over the limits of shuttlecrafts.” Her voice was light. Pel had to give her credit — she was an excellent liar. No wonder she fit in so well among Ferengi. “They were asking for some advice about flying in energy storms, and well, let’s just say that the Torias in me had a lot to contribute.” 

It was such a little thing, the switch in pronouns, but it made Pel’s heart swell with gratitude. It was so inconsequential, in fact, that no one else in the room seemed to notice — except Quark, who shot a subtle look between the two of them. Jadzia just smiled back innocently, and sat down between the two of them at the Tongo table. Once the new game began, and she and Quark had both tossed a slip of latinum onto the wheel with a declaration of “Confront!” , Jadzia leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Don’t let him get away from you this time.” She looked over at Pel, and Quark followed her gaze to watch the joy on her face as she took her turn, placing a successful wager. She really was brilliant. Jadzia turned back to Quark. “At least not forever.” 

Quark settled back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. “What d’you think I should do, then?” He kept his voice low, so the others wouldn’t hear him over their chatter. “Go with him? What about the war? What about the bar?”

“I don’t know,” Jadzia said, tossing another slip of latinum in. “Confront!” She turned back to him. “You don’t want to be here forever, do you?”

Quark scowled and crossed his arms. “Evade.” The turn passed to Nog. “No. Of course not.”

“Then when this war is over, you go find her, and you don’t leave her side.”

He shook his head. “Pel can look after himself.” 

“It’s not about that. Do you love them?”

Without hesitation — “Of course I love them.” 

“Then I don’t know what you’re waiting for.” 

The corridors were quiet as Quark walked Pel back to cargo bay three. 

“How does it feel? How do you feel?” he asked, finally breaking the silence they’d settled into.

“Strange,” she said. “Better. Good.”

“Good.” They rounded the corner. “Can I see your shuttle?”

Pel gestured to the small ship parked in front of them. “It’s right here.”

“I meant inside.”

“Oh.” She laughed quietly. Quark didn’t. “Of course.” The entrance hatch slid open, and Pel climbed inside. She reached down to Quark with one hand, pulling him up as well. Tossing her duffel bag to the ground in the back, she slid into the pilot’s seat and began flipping on the controls for pre-flight.

“It’s nice.” Quark looked around, and then sat down in the seat next to her. “Small. Looks like new technology...” He glanced up from his inspection of the panel controls to find Pel watching him. “Bet you could make a lot of latinum selling it.”

“Mmm.” Pel crossed her arms. “And then how would I go anywhere?”

Quark grinned in response, and she laughed and shook her head. “Nice try, Quark. I have to go.”

He sighed, sinking back into his seat. “...I know.” His fingers drummed on the armrest. “If I’d asked you to stay four years ago… would you have?”

Pel exhaled, mirroring Quark’s slouched stance. “We both knew it would be impossible.”

“No. None of us were going to tell anyone. You could’ve stayed, kept working, and they’d be none the wiser. We could’ve gone back to how things were before.” He sounded frustrated, desperately grasping for an answer he knew wasn’t there. 

“Quark, it’s okay.” Pel’s voice was quiet. “I don’t regret what happened, and you shouldn’t either.”

He closed his eyes. “It’s just too little too late, me asking you to stay now.”

“Don’t think of it that way,” she insisted. “Maybe the timing was just always going to be wrong.”

Maybe . But Quark doubted it. He’d been a different person then, but he wanted to believe he would’ve been able to make peace with the situation. Did he really need four years to change his mind?

An idea crossed his mind. A sudden, ridiculous, impossible idea, but it was enough to make him sit up straight and turn to Pel with a burst of urgency. “I’ll come with you.” He spoke with unreasonable confidence, but that was always the name of the game with him: a distinct lack of consideration for consequences and long-term cause and effect. “I’m already here. We’ll just leave. Right now. Wherever it is you’re going, I’ll go too.”

Pel looked at him like he was crazy, and distantly, Quark was certain he probably was. “You cannot leave your whole life behind. You might want to now, but you’ll regret it. If not in a day, then a week, and if not in a week, then a month. But you will. And I’m not going to be the reason for that. Just like you can’t be the reason I stay. You have so much here.”

Quark shook his head. “You tried to get me to come with you before.”

“We’ve both been selfish,” Pel said. “And that was before the war.”

It always came back to the war. Just the thought of it made Quark’s blood boil. So many things would be different. I suppose we only have ourselves to thank for that, he thought bitterly.

“You’re right.” He looked away. “You’re always right.” 

Pel smiled faintly. “One of my charms.”

Quark gave a little harrumph worthy of Odo, but smiled too. “Among many.” He stood up. “Well. I guess this is where we say goodbye.”

Pel stood too. “I guess so.” She slid a hand up the back of his neck and tugged him down into a kiss. Quark closed his eyes, holding her close. When they pulled back, he wrapped her in a tight embrace. Pel stood frozen in his hug for a moment before returning it. 

“When the war is over,” Quark said quietly, “I want you to come back for me. I’ll be ready. And we can go wherever you want.” 

Pel stepped back and looked up at him. Unspoken words hung in the air — they didn’t know if either would even make it out alive. There was no guarantee of their safety, even as civilians. But neither wanted to address it, so they didn’t. “I will,” she whispered. “I promise.”

Quark pressed his forehead to hers. “Bye, Pel.”

“Goodbye, Quark.”

He hopped out of the shuttle and took a few paces back. She looked out after him as the door slid shut. 

A tight feeling gripped Quark’s chest as he watched Pel’s shuttle disappear into the sky, and he stood there for a long time after she was gone. 

The voyage back to Solamin Prime was quiet and uneventful. 

Despite the heavy sense of melancholy settling in around her, Pel found herself smiling. As she’d done many times before, she began to undress. But this time, there were no prosthetic lobes to cut off, no chest bindings to remove. 

Quark’s final parting gift.

Pel settled in for the night, amid a starless sky, and dreamed of the future.