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your butt is the bomb (there will be no survivors)

Summary:

When Jimin and Taehyung keep fighting over who has the biggest butt and end up using it to help disarm a bomb.

Notes:

hi everyone !!!! i wrote this in around 6 hours because it just popped up in my mind and i had to do it. i got inspired by this topic a twitter mutual opened about who has the biggest butt on bts, and suddenly i thought why not mix that with brooklyn 99? and well. i took a lot of lines from the actual show (especially from gina lol) and i hope you like it !!

if you haven't watched it you might not get all of the jokes and innuendos, but i hope you enjoy this story anyways :) and i highly recommend watching the show !! it's really really fun :)

i would like to dedicate this to my dearests annie, ale and jubi. thank you for always listening, supporting and loving me, even though i can be a bit hard to handle sometimes. you own the best part of me :)

plus, English is not my first language so I apologize if there is some mistakes and etc, but I hope you can understand it just fine <3

enjoy !!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

People often make jokes about how everything cops do is eating donuts all day and drinking coffee until their heads explode.

 

Well. That isn’t exactly a lie

 

But they do other things as well, just to, you know, maintain the image of the nation’s saviors. Arresting bandits, investigating people, protecting civilians, and, of course, arguing about who has the biggest butt on the precinct.

 

— You’re insane if you think this tiny butt of yours is bigger than this bomb back here — Taehyung said while doing a little flip and pointing to his ass.

 

— What is the point of having a big bomb if you can’t walk for days when someone smashes it hard? It’s flat. Mine is hard — Jimin answered while standing up from his chair and showing his butt. 

 

Well. It was pretty neat — and strong.

 

But Taehyung’s didn't stay far behind. He also pretended Jimin hadn't just said that he was used to get some spanking 

 

— Keep us from the details, guys — Sergeant Min asked with a frown while eating his yogurt, but not minding enough to look away from the computer screen.

 

— Excuse me? This is all natural , bitch. I got it from my Eomma — Taehyung said, and Jungkook slapped his ass fastly while passing by to go get more coffee. Taehyung pointed at him after that with a loyal look that said “thanks for the support” , even though he knew Jungkook had a thing for slapping every butt he would see in front of him.

 

— Well, me too . I just worry about working out, while you think walking to the precinct every morning is enough to maintain your cop shape — Jimin said accusingly. — Which, by the way, isn’t working. Just so you know.

 

Taehyung looked at him with narrowed eyes, but before he could reply with an ex-boyfriend joke about how that was the exact opposite of what he used to say in bed when they were together, Captain Kim came out of his office with a worried look on his face.

 

— People, pay attention now, please. 

 

Sergeant Min stood up from his desk and placed himself right beside the Captain, going into his usual respectful pose: hands behind his back, chin up, and slightly separated legs. Even Hoseok, the lazy and super confident secretary, looked away from his phone and paid attention to the Captain.

 

Jimin stood up fastly and placed himself beside Taehyung, who was already up. He pretended he didn't get shivers when Jimin got close to him.

 

Working with your ex - whom you actually haven’t gotten over yet - is not easy. Both of them could relate to that. Especially when they were the best cops in the precinct. 

 

— We have been looking for the Spine Breaker for months now. I just received a call warning the whole block about a bomb that was planted at the closest station, and we have reasons to believe that it was him who put it. Therefore, I need you to stop comparing the size of your butts and pay attention — he looked pointedly at Jimin, who nodded respectfully and anxiously, and Taehyung, who just rolled his eyes before looking actually interested and worried. — Sergeant Min and I are going to gather everyone and protect the block. Jungkook is going to evacuate the area and Seokjin will be in charge of the precinct while we’re out. 

 

— Got it, Captain — Seokjin shouted from the small kitchen while heating his meal in the microwave. 

 

— And I will entertain everyone with my dancing skills, got it — Hoseok stood up from his desk and placed himself in front of the Captain with a confident look on his face. — Listen up everyone, I need all the speakers in the block and a-  

 

— Sit down, Hoseok — Sergeant warned him with an impatient and a bit concerned look. Captain Kim pushed him away with his arm, and Hoseok turned around, looking at Sergeant Min with a smirk.

 

— Why don’t you push me down on this chair and do a little dance with those hips, huh, Sarge? 

 

Focus , please — Captain warned with a disgusted look. 

 

— Shut up, Hoseok — Taehyung said, worrying for real now. — And what are we gonna do? — He pointed at himself and Jimin, who swallowed hard with the realization that they were the only ones left behind.

 

Captain Kim swallowed hard as well, clearly uncomfortable with what he was about to say. 

 

— I know you two have a history, but I also know you’re the best detectives we have. — He started, and Jimin and Taehyung exchanged an understanding and agreeing look between them. — I’m gonna need you both to get inside the station, find the Spine Breaker, find the hostage, and clear the path for the bomb squad to disarm the threat.

 

— Wait, wait, wait — Jimin said with a frown, lifting his right hand up. Taehyung immediately looked at him and sighed, amused by how tiny yet agile he was; but he would never say it out loud. — How do we know he is actually there? And how are we going to allow the squad to disarm the bomb with him right next to us? We know he is always armed and, with a hostage, we can’t take any risks.

 

— And he has never held a hostage before, so he must be getting into something entirely new for us — Taehyung added.

 

— That is all correct, Officers — the Captain said with an almost imperceptible proud look, but Jimin noticed anyway even though he pretended he didn’t. Taehyung, on the other hand, couldn’t help but smirk a little at how smart and committed with work Jimin had always been. — But, fortunately, I already came up with a plan.

 

Taehyung crossed his arms in front of his chest, frowning.

 

— Which is...?

 

The Captain put on a serious look and placed his hand behind him in an authoritarian posture. 

 

— While Jungkook is evacuating the area, I will have backup surrounding the station. I need you both to get down there, find the Spine Breaker and distract him. No need to look for the hostage, we already know where she is. While you do that, Jungkook will enter with reinforcement and the bomb squad to disarm the threat, and then proceed to take the hostage out. When we give you the sign, you can arrest him. 

 

— And what should we do to distract him? — Taehyung asked.

 

— Well, I believe you have a lot of dirty laundry to do between yourselves — Sarge said with a low voice, and Jungkook pressed his lips hard not to laugh. — Use your creativity and make a scene that buys us enough time to work. 

 

— Got it — Jimin said and turned around, going to his desk to gather his things, and the others did the same. The precinct started to move fastly, everyone involved preparing to leave. 

 

— Hey, Taehyung, make sure you don’t fuck up the station with your tiny little head — Hoseok mocked without taking his eyes off his phone.

 

— Title of your sex tape — Jungkook said pointing to Taehyung and receiving a loyal and agreeing look from Hoseok. 

 

— Shut up and go stretch your legs so you don’t actually break in half while dancing — Taehyung replied, while putting his gun on his belt. Jimin was watching him, trying not to be obvious about it. He didn't wanna get caught looking at his ex, especially when Taehyung knew how turned on Jimin was by the way he secured his gun.

 

— I don’t need stretching, Taehyung — Hoseok said, as if it was obvious. — I’m already 100% flexible. 

 

— I wonder what your life would be like if you were only a little bit modest, you know — Jimin said without taking his eyes from the papers on his hands.

 

— The only thing I’m not good at is modesty, because I’m great at it — Hoseok answered leaning back on his chair. Jimin and Taehyung exchanged a look, but Jungkook had always been the impatient one, so he was the first to roll his eyes and turn his face away.

 

— Okay everyone, listen up — Sergeant Min said with a firm voice as he approached the elevator. — We’re leaving now. Please, make sure to stay close and do your best. We’ve got this — the officers around the precinct started to say yeah and let’s get it all at once, their voices mixing together. — Fighting! 

 

Fighting! — Everyone shouted and then they all left running towards the station.

 

There was a bandit they needed to arrest and more than one thing that needed to be saved. 

 

+++

 

Jimin and Taehyung were standing outside the station right above the stairs. Sergeant Min was with them, just waiting for Captain Kim’s sign that Jungkook had finished evacuating the area to send the Detectives in.

 

They still had no idea what they would argue about. Sergeant had  told them to discuss something stupid, but both Jimin and Taehyung had this gut telling them that it didn’t matter what topic they chose, it would always come down to one point: their breakup.

 

Being two of the best police officers in Seoul could only lead up to them being one of three things: partners — and possibly best friends, enemies to death, or competitive colleagues that would pretend to be mad whenever their nemesis got a better score than them, but would actually get turned on by it.  

 

They were definitely the third option. After one entire night in the car watching this man who was the main suspect in an ongoing car theft investigation, and a lot of playing around throwing snacks into each other's mouths, things started to escalate. It took some time, but they sure did. 

 

The thing is: sometimes, being too competitive and protective at the same time can end up in one of them jumping in front of the other and literally getting shot for them. Some would think this is the biggest love demonstration that could ever exist, but some — like Jimin — would freak out because of the feeling that they’re just… too bonded . When you love someone and you realize that they’d die for you, it may get too overwhelming. Especially when you’re both in dangerous situations on a daily basis . You start getting paranoid thinking that one day your partner will be gone for good — and it may be because of you. It’s not that Jimin wouldn’t do the same for Taehyung; he would. But Taehyung just had this gift of never getting into as much danger as Jimin.

 

Plus, Jimin had this big dream of becoming a Sergeant. Because of that, he knew he could end up being transferred to another precinct any day — and then they would be apart most of the time. That wasn’t why he ended things; in fact he didn’t even care about that at all. But it was better to tell people that the reason for their break up was his dream — along with things not working out anymore , which was a big bushy lie — rather than saying he didn’t want anyone to be risking their life for him. 

 

Especially if this anyone was Taehyung.  

 

Both of them were pretending to think about something stupid yet convincing to discuss, but the feeling that they would just go with the breakup topic was the strongest in their minds.

 

Their attention moved to Sergeant when they heard a beep coming from his pocket. He immediately took the radio to his ear. Jimin and Taehyung stretched their muscles and breathed in deeply, knowing it would start any minute soon. 

 

— Okay, everything’s ready — Sarge told them and raised his hand to give both of them a handshake. — Good luck down there, and be safe. 

 

— Thanks, Sarge — Taehyung said shaking his hand. 

 

— We’ll be back soon — Jimin replied, and did the same.

 

They stood side by side for a second and exchanged a fast look before nodding and going down the stairs. The station was dark, silent and scary. Taehyung knew Jimin didn’t like dark places, so he came a bit closer to him when he heard Jimin swallowing hard. He knew they weren’t intimate enough anymore for him to place an arm behind his back, but he couldn’t help himself when he thought of Jimin passing out or falling down the stairs because of fear.

 

What are you doing? — Jimin whispered without moving his eyes from the sight in front of him, looking for the criminal.

 

Shut up and walk — Taehyung whispered back and kept walking. Jimin swallowed hard again and felt a shiver running down his spine, but now because of Taehyung’s low voice and the way he pressed harder against his back. 

 

Don’t get turned on at work don’t get turned on in the dark don’t get turned on by Taehyung please just not now , he kept repeating to himself.

 

They reached the end of the stairs and now it was a bit lighter, some of the lights still on. After a few steps, they both heard in their earbuds that they were supposed to head for the third platform; the Spine Breaker would be there. Jungkook would come down at the right time through the other side of the station, reaching them by the criminal’s back.

 

They kept walking silently, Taehyung’s hand now by his side, not touching Jimin anymore. Jimin felt the place on his back where his hand was starting to get cold, the skin almost asking for the heat again. They could hear a noise coming from the third platform, and it got louder with every step. 

 

The reason behind that name, Spine Breaker, wasn’t actually a big deal. Each one of his crimes was connected to the Government. The first attack happened during a holiday, and three people got hurt. He claimed on his blog — which only confirmed how weird the dude was, since he had a personal blog to talk about his crimes and beliefs — that he had done it to gather attention and expose all the shit the Government had been doing. He could just post articles online, but no; he’d rather plant bombs around the city and go live on Instagram spreading the dirt he had on politicians until the police arrived. Although he was kinda crazy, the guy was really good at maintaining his real identity hidden and blocking his IP. The police had been having a hard time trying to find him, and everytime they did, he had already vanished.

 

Well, the reason why they called him Spine Breaker was simply because he called himself that. Like, it was his blog’s name. spine-breaker.tumblr.com. 

 

When they reached the third platform, the Spine Breaker was sitting on the floor with a radio by his side, and they could hear a clear ticking noise somewhere around them. Taehyung took a look around and didn't see anyone else but them, so the hostage must have been kept somewhere else. 

 

The bandit looked up from his phone with an unimpressed expression and stared at them as if he was waiting for them to come by.

 

— What’s up — he said casually, looking down at his phone again and not minding their presence at all. 

 

Jimin and Taehyung stopped where they were and looked at each other, frowning, confused by his reaction. He looked really… normal , nothing special about his face. Someone you could pass by in the subway and never think of his face again.

 

— So, what’s up with the whole Spine Breaker thing? — Taehyung asked casually.

 

— Just trying to get some justice, man — he answered, still looking at his phone.

 

— Oh, we have something in common then — Jimin said ironically and smiled a bit. 

 

Taehyung smirked. He was teasing him. Spine Breaker hated cops.

 

And Jimin was really good at teasing.

 

The bandit looked up at them, clearly angry with what he had just heard.

 

— No, we don't — he said, frowning with narrowed eyes. — You nasty people work for the Government, protect it. But the Government can suck my dick if they want to.

 

— If you hate them, why are you wasting your time blowing stuff up and kidnapping people while you could just, I don't know, post articles on the internet or organize protests and actually become a public enemy, instead of just giving us more work?

 

— Because — he started as if it was obvious — the government works to protect its interests, and they still have to pretend they give a fuck about people here, so I'm just hitting the spot I know they will have to deal with.

 

Jimin nodded pretending to be bored.

 

— And why haven't you moved a muscle since we arrived? You didn’t even try to stop us.

 

The Spine Breaker looked up from his phone once again, staring deeply at Jimin.

 

— Because I'm the one in control of a bomb.

 

Jimin didn't look away, but he heard Taehyung laugh by his side.

 

— AHA! That's where you're wrong, baby girl — Tehyung said, and the criminal threw them a weirded look, clearly cringing. — Now, I'm gonna need your help.

 

He put his hand on his belt to adjust his pants in place and turned his back to the Spine Breaker.

 

— Jimin, turn around — Taehyung said.

 

— Oh God, please-

 

Turn around — he said again, fiercely. Jimin sighed, but did as he was told.

 

— Now — Taehyung started — which one of us has the biggest bomb in the room? 

 

He looked back to see the bandit's face, and he looked extremely… confused.

 

— You're talking about your ass

 

— Of course I am, look at this — Taehyung asked, pointing at his own butt. — And Jimin has a cute butt too, I gotta admit.

 

Jimin widened his eyes and swallowed hard, but tried to get along.

 

— Yeah-yeah, which one do you think looks better? 

 

The Spine Breaker seemed extremely bored. At this point, they had already realized he was the kind of criminal that didn't give a shit about anything that wasn’t related to his beliefs. He didn’t care about being arrested, because he would blow the place up as soon as they tried to do so. And all the times he had worried about going down, he had made himself impossible to be found.

 

Even though both Taehyung and Jimin knew all of that, they still needed to buy some time for the police to find a way to disarm the bomb. The squad was already there, trying to hack into the Spine Breaker’s system instead of going down to look for the threat and disarm it in sight.

 

The bandit sighed.

 

— Dude, why are you asking me to check your butts? — he asked, uninterested. — I'm literally holding a bomb here.

 

— Yeah, but, well, since you don't give a shit about us and we can't actually arrest you without you blowing the place up, I thought we could use your impartial opinion to help us with that. You know, someone doesn't want to admit that my ass is prettier.

 

— Oh, for God sake, you see how stubborn and unbearable this guy is? — Jimin asked, looking behind his shoulder to the bandit. — That's why we didn't work out together.

 

Taehyung laughed sarcastically.

 

— No, Jimin, we didn't work out because you broke up with me.

 

— You got shot because of me! How was I supposed to know that I would put you in danger?

 

— And how was I supposed to know there would be consequences to my actions? Especially regarding our relationship.

 

— You're complaining that your boyfriend got shot for you? — The Spine Breaker asked, clearly mad. — That's so ungrateful.

 

Thank you! See? — Taehyung said with a loyal look towards the bandit.

 

It was all just an act and they needed to look convincing. The bandit was falling for it, getting into the conversation and not checking his phone. 

 

No! I made someone jump in front of a bullet for me, imagine-imagine if he actually got hurt or killed ? How could I live with that? — Jimin said with a pout, and Taehyung held back the urge to kiss it.

 

— Then you would have been gifted with the biggest act of courage and love I can think of. I mean, the guy would literally take a bullet for you — the Spine Breaker said and looked at Taehyung. He agreed, eyes widened.

 

— Oh, sure! I would go to bed everyday thinking that the man I love died because of me. Wow , that's so romantic. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? — Jimin turned around, facing the bandit again, frowning.

 

— You're so selfish, oh my God! — Taehyung turned around too and looked at him with a surprise face. — Did you forget that we were partners before lovers? I didn't jump in front of that bullet just because I love you. I did it because I'm a fucking cop, and if I had to get shot to protect a fucking wall I would. You were so stupid to end what we had because of that, and the worst part is that you never understood it.

 

Jimin didn't answer. He wasn't expecting that. Jungkook had already told him the same thing, but he still felt guilty about what Taehyung had done. But now, hearing it directly from him, it just… made sense.

 

— Wow — the Spine Breaker said, laughing. — You are both so fucked up. But, since you asked, the housewrecker has the nicest butt.

 

— AHA! — Jimin clapped and made a little dance, pretending not to be crying on the inside, trying to hold his act.

 

— Plus, you just said you still love him.

 

Both Taehyung and Jimin stopped immediately and looked at him, scared. 

 

— No-no I didn't — Taehyung said, but he knew it was a lie.

 

Yes, you did. I may be kinda crazy but I'm not deaf yet — the bandit said. — Well, since we're probably gonna die here because I'm tired of this bullshit, you can give a little goodbye kiss before I blow our heads up.

 

Taehyung was about to answer, but then something hit his conscience. The same happened with the Spine Breaker, who turned serious and confused at the same time.

 

The bomb. It wasn't ticking anymore.

 

Right after realization hit them, Taehyung and Jimin heard Yoongi's voice in their ears saying "all done. Jungkook is on the way". They quickly grabbed their guns from their belts and pointed them at the bandit.

 

— Hands up, now! — Jimin said with a hard voice, and Taehyung looked at him proudly for a small second. Jimin didn't notice it, tho.

 

— You-you fucking sons of bitches! You distracted me! — he kept tapping on his phone desperately, as he realized there was no turning back.

 

— It's the end of the line, darling — Taehyung said with a smirk on his face and the gun steady on his hands.

 

It didn't take much for Jungkook to show up with backup and arrest him. It was actually way easier than expected, and even the Captain was surprised. He had trusted his officers with a lot and he believed they would succeed, but he was surprised by how well they handled the situation — and by how dumb the Spine Breaker was, afterall. 

 

They were back at the precinct now. Sergeant Min was organizing his things and finishing up one of his sketches, while the Captain was probably cleaning his room. Jimin and Taehyung were in silence at their desks, gathering their belongings before leaving. 

 

Taehyung stood up first, trying not to think about their talk during the fake scene, but halfway to the elevator, he turned around and just couldn't control himself.

 

— Did you mean that? — he asked, having Jimin's attention. — At the station. About me being stubborn and unbearable.

 

Jimin looked at him with an intense gaze, swallowing and shaking a bit. He looked like he was trying not to cry.

 

— No. — He answered, sharp. — But you were right. We didn't work out because I couldn't handle things.

 

Taehyung sighed.

 

— Yeah, well, at least one of us could be honest.

 

He didn't mean to be that harsh. He didn't want to hurt Jimin, but the truth is that he was still hurt .

 

Jimin nodded, not knowing how to answer. He didn't want to discuss anymore.

 

But he did have something to say.

 

— Taehyung, wait. — He asked, getting up and heading to where he was standing. — I'm-I'm really sorry if I seemed ungrateful. I just couldn't handle the fact that-that you could die because of me. And, if you did, I would be both guilty and alone. I couldn't lose you while having you, so-so I guess I just chose to lose you by not having you anymore. 

 

Taehyung looked confused and surprised at that.

 

— I'm sorry things ended up the way they did. And  I'm sorry I was such a coward — he sniffed. — Well… you always were the brave one between us.

 

— Jimin-

 

— I have to go. — He interrupted him and headed to the elevator, giving his back to Taehyung. 

 

But right before he could step in, he realized there was one more thing he needed to know. Maybe it was all the intense feelings that were filling his chest now, but even if he felt like the coward between them, a dash of courage hit him hard enough to make him ask the question out loud.

 

— Did you ? — He asked, making Taehyung raise his look from his feet to him. — What you said there. Did you mean it? 

 

Taehyung knew what he was talking about.

 

He just couldn't answer that. Because he knew that he shouldn't. 

 

Jimin waited for a while, but then he assumed that maybe Taehyung was lying during the scene. That would explain why he looked so ashamed and embarrassed right now. It was the exact opposite, but Jimin was insecure. He sniffed again and nodded, thinking he had understood it.

 

— I see — he said. — No need to answer.

 

He gave him his back again and headed to the elevator before Taehyung could have the chance to say anything.

 

And then Taehyung was the one feeling like a coward.

 

+++

 

Everyone was happy and cheerful at the precinct the following day. Cheering and greeting each other for the successful work the day before, congratulating themselves and talking about how some of them could even get a promotion.

 

Well, everyone except Jimin. 

 

The talk with Taehyung had made him feel worse than he thought it would. He knew Taehyung didn't love him; still, he had hoped something magical would happen like in a Disney movie, and suddenly everything would be fine, and they would be all over each other again.

 

Except that it didn't. 

 

He knew he may have been unfair to Taehyung. He may have put the responsibility for their break up on him, as if he had done something terrible, but that wasn’t the point. It was Jimin’s decision, and until the day before, he had actually felt like he had done the right thing.

 

Hearing Taehyung say the L-word in front of him and the Spine Breaker, even though it was all an act, had made him shiver and melt in a way he didn't even think was possible.

 

— What happened, Jimin? Did you skip charisma class or did you just forget to put on your boring face mask? — Hoseok mocked from his desk, leaning on the chair with his feet up near the computer.

 

— Not in the mood, Hoseok — he replied without even looking at him. Taehyung looked up from his computer for a second, worried, but didn't say anything.

 

— Gee, what is it, did your Marie Kondo book collection fall over your head? 

 

Jimin was so tired that he didn’t even answer that he had sold his Marie Kondo book collection because he was too addicted to them. Taehyung opened his mouth to shut Hoseok up, but he knew Jimin didn't like it when people stood up for him as if he couldn't defend himself, so he remained silent.

 

— Hoseok, please do your job, I beg you — Sergeant Min came around, getting close to Jimin's desk and receiving a smirk from Hoseok. — Jimin, can you go to the files room and get some papers for me? 

 

— Sure, Sarge — he answered with a low voice, and left. Sergeant Min frowned because of Jimin’s sad look, but didn't say anything. 

 

He went back to his desk and was able to go back to his drawings for about two minutes before Taehyung approached him.

 

— Hey, excuse me, Sarge. Where are the files regarding the PD case? I need them for my paperwork, but I couldn't find them on the system — he said.

 

— I have to check that, but take a look at the files room first. If they aren't there, I'll ask the Cap.

 

— Got it.

 

Taehyung wasn’t actually expecting to find Jimin there. He thought that he would be already gone by that time, but it wasn't the case.

 

— Oh fuck — he heard someone say at the back of the room when he entered. He frowned, looking going toward the voice, but shivering and the thought of whom it may belong to.

 

After walking around a bit, he found Jimin in the middle of a line of boxes, trying to reach for a piece of paper above a locker.

 

— Need some help? — he asked, making Jimin jump on his place, scared. 

 

He looked surprised and was about to reply, but then he thought a bit more and just shut his mouth. He looked away and tried to reach for the paper again. Taehyung came closer and was about to catch it, when Jimin literally jumped and grabbed the file, turning around quickly and trying to dodge him. He ended up bumping into Taehyung.

 

— Excuse me. — Jimin asked, looking down at his feet and refusing to face him. Taehyung was standing right in front of him, his arms crossed.

 

— Did you just scaredly jump so I wouldn't have to help you? — He asked accusingly, yet with a bit of amusement in his tone.

 

Excuse me, Taehyung — he repeated.

 

— Not until you tell me why you look so upset.

 

Jimin looked up, frowning and mad.

 

— Why do you even care? — he asked. — You were the one calling me selfish yesterday, now you just want to throw on my face how altruistic you are? 

 

Taehyung softened his expression and he actually looked sad now, not angry.

 

— Jimin-

 

— No, Taehyung, come on now — he hit Taehyung's chest with the files. — Tell me how I'm a heartless selfish bitch who broke up with his heroic boyfriend because I can't handle things.

 

Taehyung swallowed hard, embarrassed.

 

— Come on, tell me how I can't handle people loving me — he said angrier, looking intensely into Taehyung's eyes. — Oh, I forgot. You might have never actually loved me, right? 

 

Taehyung was sad and worried seconds before that, but suddenly anger hit him hard in the stomach. 

 

Not because of what Jimin said, but because he felt disgusted with the idea of Jimin thinking that he had never loved him, since this was the only certainty he had in his life.

 

He knew he still did.

 

Quickly, he placed his hands firmly on Jimin's shoulders and started walking again, making Jimin walk backwards until his back met the lockers. Taehyung was breathing hard and Jimin was surprised by his reaction, but he wasn’t scared. His heart was racing fast and he was breathing heavily.

 

— If you ever thought even for one second — Taehyung said — that I could feel anything but love for you, then I'm the one who can't handle things — Jimin blinked and Taehyung swallowed hard, controlling himself and breathing hard. — Loving you is overwhelming. Maybe I haven't made it clear.

 

Jimin was about to answer, but he didn't have the time.

 

Taehyung pressed his lips hard against his, while cupping his face, breathing in heavily and feeling Jimin's lips against his once more. Jimin felt his heart melt inside his chest, both because of what Taehyung had just said and because of the sudden and hard kiss.

 

Taehyung separated their mouths and pressed their foreheads together for a small second, before kissing him again in a slow and sensual pace. He led his hands to Jimin's waist, and Jimin couldn't help but run his hands through his hair, the way he knew Taehyung liked it. Taehyung sighed with the feeling, enjoying it, and let his tongue make its way to Jimin's mouth, which accepted it's entrance right away.

 

It was a wet, intense and hot kiss, as those they would have right before sex when they were together. Jimin couldn't help but moan a little when Taehyung squeezed his waist hard in a way that showed belonging and bit his lips. Jimin felt dazed and surprised at the same time, like he couldn't react. 

 

Taehyung broke the kiss, but kept his hands where they were. He looked at Jimin intensely.

 

— Do you honestly think I would kiss you like that if I didn't still feel like I could literally die for you? — He said, placing a peck on his check and making a trail through his whole face. Jimin felt like his lungs had stopped working. — I'm sorry I made you feel that way, I really am, Jimin-ah. I didn't mean it at the station, I swear. I can’t think of you in any way that doesn't resemble the most precious things in the world — he kissed his jaw and swallowed hard, sighing. — You have no idea how hard it is to look at you everyday, all shiny, brilliant and perfect, and not be able to call you mine anymore.

 

Jimin whined at his words and his touch, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He hardened the grip around Taehyung's neck and breathed out, as if all the hurt in his chest had left his body.

 

— Ah, Taehyung-ah — he said, getting closer and whispering. — The thing is, I never stopped being yours.

 

He kissed him again, and it was like the rainbow was just created by that.

 

They lingered like that for a while, just enjoying each other's mouths. Taehyung didn't even mind the file on Jimin's hand brushing through his hair at all.

 

Jimin was the first to separate their lips.

 

— We shouldn't be making out in the files room.

 

— We've done it before — Taehyung said, kissing his neck, and making Jimin laugh cutely. 

 

— I know, but we have to get back — he said, stepping back. — But-but we can talk about… this later. — He said pointing at himself and then Taehyung.

 

— You mean us? — Taehyung asked with his brows arching. Jimin swallowed, embarrassed that it had sounded like he didn't want to call them that, but Taehyung didn't look like he cared much.

 

— Yeah — he said.

 

— I would very much like that.



+++



— Hey, Taehyung, didn't you leave to get some files? — Hoseok asked when they were both back, smiles on their faces and lips swollen.

 

— Ah-

 

He stopped right away and looked around as if he could find someone to help him.

 

— Yeah-yeah, I did, but-but I couldn't find them so I-I'll go back and dig some more.

 

— I bet he was digging at something else — Seokjin said from his desk, smirking.

 

Taehyung's eyes widened and Jimin laughed a little, but Taehyung had already left quickly. Sergeant Min frowned.

 

— What are you laughing at, Detective Park? — he asked.

 

Jimin blushed immediately and looked desperate, making Hoseok laugh.

 

— No-nothing, Sarge — He said, making a pose. 

 

Sergeant Min was still frowning, but he went back to his work. Jimin sighed and threw himself on his chair, smiling widely while remembering what had just happened.

 

— So, Jimin, how was the kissing training against the files room wall? 

 

Jimin wanted to answer properly, but he was too happy to bother.

 

So he contented himself with a victorious smile.

 

— Amazing.

 

The rest of the day went on as usual. Taehyung had been in charge of archiving the Spine Breaker case file, and it was almost the end of the expedient when he noticed something was off. 

 

— Hey, Sarge — he said, approaching his desk and receiving a curious look from Yoongi. — I was finishing the Spine Breaker case file but it says in here that there were no hostages. Could you please talk to the Captain and ask him to check it?

 

— Oh, okay. Thank you, Taehyung — he said while standing up and heading to Namjoon's office.

 

— No prob.

 

He knocked twice, heard a come in from inside and entered the office.

 

— Hey, uhm, Captain . Taehyung just told me that the file on the Spine Breaker case doesn’t mention the hostage. Could you please rectify that?

 

— Oh, no, I can't. 

 

Sergeant Min frowned.

 

— Why?

 

— Because it's not incorrect.

 

Sergeant Min frowned harder.

 

— What do you mean?

 

— There was no hostage — he said, checking the time on his watch. The LGBT flag was hanging from one of his mugs, and he tapped it out of habit. He always tapped the flag when it was about time to leave. — I just needed an excuse to send Detectives Park and Kim on a mission together without their complaints.

 

Sergeant Min arched his brows, surprised but amazed.

 

— You knew that if there wasn't a good reason for them to work together, they wouldn't — he said, explaining that more to himself than to him. He nodded, agreeingly. — Brilliant, Cap . But, why?

 

They heard the clock ticking and looked at it together.

 

— Well, it's time to leave so no need to call me Cap anymore, baby — Namjoon said while standing up and closing his laptop. — And, well, because I'm their leader, but I'm also their friend. And I miss having double date dinners at our place.

 

Sergeant Min laughed and got closer, leaving a kiss at the Captain's nose. It was their thing.

 

— You're amazing — he said.

 

— I know. And you love me for that.

 

— You're always right, aren't you, Cap? 

 

— I already told you. No need to call me that anymore — he said, pointing at the clock. — Unless you want to keep doing this at a more private place — he smirked and left a wet peck on Yoongi's smile.

 

— We can try that, yeah.

 

— Now go, I have to close the precinct. 

 

— Okay, love — Yoongi said and opened the door. — I'll be waiting downstairs.

 

The Captain closed the door and went back to cleaning his office. Hoseok was the first to leave — as always — and soon enough there was only Taehyung and Jimin left beside him.

 

Taehyung had just finished doing some research and paperwork. He wanted to talk to the Sergeant once more, but then realized that there was no need for that.

 

He did need to talk to someone else, tho.

 

— So, uhm-

 

Taehyung was about to start a conversation when he was interrupted by the Captain's door.

 

— Hey, you guys — he said with half of his body out the door. — I forgot to tell you earlier, but I'm proud of you both. You did an amazing job yesterday. We're lucky to have you two. 

 

They smiled and thanked him. And, once again, they were alone.

 

— So, uhm, do you wanna go... I don't know, grab something to drink? — Taehyung asked, nervous. — You know, to celebrate the success in the case.

 

Jimin pretended to think hard for a second, but then he smiled softly and nodded.

 

— Yeah, Tae. I would love that.

 

Taehyung's chest warmed with the return of the nickname, and he smiled, nodding. 

 

— Wait — Jimin said, putting on a serious face. Taehyung got concerned, frowning. — Do you hear that?

 

Taehyung focused, but he couldn’t hear anything.

 

— What? 

 

Jimin frowned, grabbing his belt fastly where the gun was.

 

— I think there's a bomb here.

 

Taehyung's eyes widened and he led his hands to his belt as well, looking around, but he startled when he felt a squeeze on his ass and almost screamed.

 

He looked confused at Jimin. With an amused smile, he threw his arms around Taehyung’s neck.

 

— Your butt is the bomb — he said and smiled wider. — There will be no survivors.

 

Taehyung laughed hard, placing his hands on Jimin’s waist.

 

— Title of our sextape — he said with a low voice, and Jimin laughed hard, throwing his head back and receiving a small kiss on his throat. He felt hot with the word our echoing in his head.

 

— Let's go. I'm thirsty for that drink.

 

Taehyung nodded, but suddenly, he remembered something.

 

— Oh, wait for me in the parking lot. I forgot to give Captain some files. I'll meet you right away — he said, and Jimin nodded, releasing himself from the grip and heading to the elevator.

 

With a side smile, Taehyung went to his desk and took the folders. He knocked twice on the Captain's door and opened it, without waiting for permission.

 

— Excuse me, Cap — he said while entering the room in a rush. — Forgot to hand you this.

 

— Oh, thanks, Tae — Namjoon said while putting his glasses on to take a look.

 

— I'm the one who appreciates it.

 

He said, and left to meet Jimin.

 

Namjoon, alone at his office, opened the file. He smiled when he saw the little post-it on the top of the document.

 

"Thank you.

 

Xx"

 

He smiled wider by how grateful he was for having the best detectives of Seoul with him.

 

When he left the precinct, he turned off the lights thinking that maybe he really was a good leader — and friend

Notes:

thank you for reading it :) my twitter is @euphriwa