Chapter Text
Seconds felt like hours.
All sense of time had completely escaped him. His third empty bottle of beer clinked almost missing the table as he set it down. The blue sky was now cast over with faint hues of peach and lilac. Beyond the towering offices and concrete housing blocks, the sun was slowly slipping away from view. Slowly drowning out and luring in the depth of night. It was amusing really, how he too had lost his light and now his life was nothing but a grey confusing mess.
All because of one stupid mistake.
One mistake. Pop. The red metal cap flew off, landing on the ground beside the others. Clasping the bottle tighter in his trembling hands, he took a desperate swig of beer. He breathed heavily, sighing as he withdrew the bottle from his lips as though his thirst had been quenched from near life ending conditions. His bloodshot eyes stung as a gentle breeze picked up, sweeping against his still fiery skin, burning with remorse and the remainder of dry tears.
The beer had soothed his mind to some extent. His headache was fading now and he could breathe easier, too. Sounds of commotion came from inside. Something like footsteps drawing closer, then the sound of a door opening. Is it the beer?
“Han,” A voice like Joshua’s came from behind. “Jeonghan, don’t just ignore me like this.”
It’s the beer.
Taking yet another sip, he turned back towards the glass doors. He coughed. The alcohol burnt his throat as he spluttered. Joshua—actual Joshua, not a beer evoked illusion but the real one was stood facing him on the balcony.
“Stop drinking so much.” His tone was harsh but his narrowed eyes carried a look of solemness. “It’s bad for you.”
“I hope it kills me!” Jeonghan slurred, raising the bottle in the air before consuming the remainder of its contents.
“Don’t say that.” Joshua edged forward cautiously.
“Huh,” he snickered, pointing accusingly. “Sounds like you still care.” A tear streaked down his face. “What a joke that is.”
“Listen,” Joshua lent forwards, holding onto the arms of the wicker armchair. “I don’t care what you do but I’m not having you drink yourself to death when I’m around. Come inside and sober up.”
His vision blurred, everything began spinning as he stood up. He stumbled and propped himself up with the back of the chair, regaining his composure. All the while under the harsh glare of his lover, if he could still call him that. Jeonghan’s chest panged. It was like his heart was being crushed in the coarse twisted hands of his own guilt. The sweet scent of vanilla and chamomile in the air was more intoxicating than the influx of beer he’d consumed. It smelt like Joshua, always lighting candles of calming scents to ‘feel good’ as he would say. The smell raked up all of the deeply bedded thoughts and memories the beer had succeeded in oppressing within the darkest depths of his mind.
He was crumbling, like a crystal wine glass hitting the ground.
“You—,” Joshua paused, like composing himself before he continued. He never had been very commanding.”You can sleep on the couch.” He finished with a deep breath and reverted his eyes back to the ground.
“Wait, Shua!”
His words were rushed and he sounded desperate, like a child calling for their mother. He ran across the room, crashing into the sofa as he did, unable to focus on anything but Joshua’s dark empty-looking eyes. Joshua flinched slightly as Jeonghan tightly latched onto his left arm.
“I know—,” he breathed. “I know I’m a fool. I hurt you and I shouldn’t have messed around with—with Seungcheol like that. But I love you, so much my heart hurts when I’m not with you. I know you hate me right now but I promise it was just a one-time fling. We’d had an argument and I was feeling low and he—,”
“I can’t ever forgive you.” Joshua’s eyes were turning glossy now. His voice was quivering. “I mean it, I can’t. For either of you.”
“I know.” Jeonghan loosened his grip and dropped his head. “You can kill me here and now if you want but please may I have one more chance?”
A heart-wrenchingly ghost quiet silence resumed.
Until.
“One more chance.”
Jeonghan could hardly believe his ears. He was thrilled to say the least. In a moment of pure relief he flung his arms around Joshua, forgetting the mood of the situation had still not yet diminished. Joshua remained still and statue-like. It was awkward to say the least but Jeonghan couldn’t care less for he was back on his lover’s good side again.
“I promise, I really do that I’ll try and fix what I’ve done and bring us back to the good times again.” He said, stepping back.
Joshua nodded with a faint hum, before turning away and walking down the hall.