Work Text:
Jaemin stared at the wall clock from where he was lying upside-down on the couch. His legs were propped up against the backrest in a position that wasn’t comfortable nor convenient, but he had more important matters at hand, like glare at the minute hand in a futile attempt to somehow slow time down so he could try to soothe the nervous feeling in his stomach.
His phone was long forgotten by his side, standing with the screen down and occasionally vibrating when a notification came in, but Jaemin didn’t give it any importance. It wasn’t like Mark texted him before he got home anyway, he just opened the door and let himself be perceived. Not that he had any reason to warn Jaemin anyway, that was Mark’s house after all.
The kitchen table was already set up for dinner and full of dishes Jaemin knew the musician needed after another of his work-related trips. They have been getting more and more constant recently, with Mark’s popularity among the public skyrocketing and his manager being offered so many deals and invitations from across the country that many times resulted in days-long trips.
Jaemin was nothing but proud of him, having known Mark ever since his college drop-out and full of insecurities days, when the older had abandoned everything he had built until then to pursue the things he actually wanted to do with his life. It had been a very rough and difficult period for Mark, but it had paid off so well and satisfactorily that when they looked back at it, their entire friend group, those crazy moments could be cherished and laughed off at.
Even though each of their goodbyes and see-you-soons hurted a bit more every time, Jaemin wouldn’t exchange Mark’s happiness for nothing the world could offer him. Even though he felt like the older was forever a little in front of him, unattainable and too far for his arms to reach, his hand always missing Mark’s fingers by a few millimeters.
The truth is, to Jaemin, the older always felt unreachable in his own ways in the past. The type of presence you can only admire from a safe distance, maybe even a bit by his side, but never close like the way you would like. It wasn’t like Mark carried or presented himself in that manner, Jaemin was sure his own nervousness sometimes messed with his perception of him.
Years later, his self now changed for the better, Jaemin had a few other things about the older to care about, no longer only his tricky mind playing games with him. The circumstances were much different, and now Jaemin saw two Marks every few days: the one that he knew and spent most of his youth with, and the guy that showed up at his television from time to time with a smile plastered across his face full of make-up and that adorable look he got when he talked about his true passion. Sometimes he wished he could just reach through the screen and bring Mark back out with him, for no reason other than be able to experience that endearing smile in person for a little longer.
A few rumbling and shifting could be heard outside the door and Jaemin blinked to focus back to the moment, remembering the main reason he was nervous for before. He sat up too fast, making him dizzy for a brief moment, and his heartbeat started to pick up the same pace his fingers drumming against the cushions had. It wasn’t the first time he had been in that position, and certainly it wouldn’t be the last, but the thought did nothing to soothe his nerves.
The door opened slowly and Jaemin watched as Mark fumbled with bringing his suitcase through the threshold at the same time he brought a box in his other hand, losing his balance for a second and almost falling onto the clean floor, and Jaemin suddenly remembered, like he always did, why he felt so nervous. Why he was so in love with Mark in the first place.
Mark dropped everything at the ground near the wall coat rack with a heavy sigh and shoulders slumped down, and finally turned around to face Jaemin, who was staring at him with an amused glint in his eyes and lips up in a tender smile. The older’s clumsiness would never fail to entertain him, not having changed the slight in all of the years they knew each other.
There were some clear lines and signs of tiredness and fatigue in his face, but Mark still looked like his normal self, the same person Jaemin befriended and fell for in the past, and continues to fall for a bit more deeply everyday.
Slumping down his entire weight on the couch beside him, Mark closed his eyes and moved to lay down his head on Jaemin’s lap, likewise all the other times the older was looking for comfort in him. Jaemin didn’t even think twice before starting to run the fingers to Mark’s recently dyed pitch black hair, the action calming for the both of them.
Most of the things between them were done like this, wordlessly. Jaemin liked nothing more than being comfortable in his own silence and Mark had a stupid soft spot for everything related to the younger, and even though he had a tendency to be as loud as their other friends sometimes, Mark learned to enjoy the peace the quietness brought. He always made an effort to understand the younger’s world, his preferences, dislikes, mannerisms, small routines, and Jaemin felt so loved by him at times that his chest felt close to collapsing.
Jaemin blinked back at the present when a box suddenly invaded his field of vision, the same one Mark had fought against to bring inside with him. It wasn’t anything special, just a plain cream-colored package with a tiny ribbon laced on top of it, more for decorations than actually holding the lid in place.
“Happy birthday, Jaem.” Mark mumbled with his signature tight-lipped smile, his head still laid down in Jaemin’s lap, but now turned to the younger to measure his reactions.
Jaemin could very much start crying at that moment if he didn’t gather himself back up. He didn’t take the box being offered to him, instead reaching for something hidden just by the couch’s edge, taking a bit more time to blink his tears away.
“Happy belated birthday, Mark Lee.” He whispered back with his hands now occupied, holding the present he bought close to the singer’s face.
After a few years of struggling to coordinate their own different birthday parties, a particular incident and that one disaster-filled week a few summers ago, the two decided that having their anniversaries a week away from each other could only mean they have a joint party every year, and that’s what they have been doing ever since, this year being the only exception due to Mark’s schedule. Jaemin still found it cute how the both of them hadn’t broken the gift exchange tradition, even though having Mark there was the only thing he could ask for.
The singer had always been the most curious between the two of them, so it was no wonder that he immediately got up to his feet upon seeing the box in his face and didn’t think twice before hastily undoing the string holding it.
Mark’s face lit up and his eyebrows shot up as he took the small black diary out of the box. Jaemin could sense he was getting emotional too — the older always cried when someone gifted him just about anything, which made an interesting combination with the dozens of gifts he received in events.
Taking his eyes off the notebook, the singer focused his eyes on Jaemin again, and the latter could see the sheer gratitude in his gaze. Jaemin knew that Mark probably had about ten of these filled with lyrics and melodies stacked in his closet coming from the incredible creativity running through his veins, but due to a packed schedule and an even busier mind, his writing had subdued and Mark lacked the inspiration he needed. Jaemin also knew that little incentives and acts of encouragement helped in times of this, and he wanted Mark to be able to keep doing what he loved.
Jaemin eventually snapped out of his Mark-induced trance, which were getting concerinly frequent recently, and directed his eyes to his own little box resting against his thighs. He had always been the type to try to make others happy, meaning that he was the unofficially assigned gift buyer for their group, and never really expected anything in return other than his friends’ happiness. So Mark being so eager in getting something for his birthday every year without fail was unexpected, and while the first times were met with a little resistance and unsureness, Jaemin learned to pick his battles and that he couldn’t shrug his way out of every nice gesture someone made for him.
He almost snorted when seeing that Mark’s choice wasn’t much different from his own, because of course they would have unplanned matching gifts. A notebook too, but instead of being coloured pain black, it was a nice mix of pastel colours and little cute drawings that somehow perfectly described himself, Jaemin mused. ‘Photo diary’ was written in a small font on the cover and Jaemin’s mind raced to remember all the late nights he and Mark spent wasting away the younger’s stationery and trying to decorate the pages filled with copies of Jaemin’s own photographs. They were some of the nicest memories Jaemin had with Mark, and he was glad the older remembered them, hopefully with as much fondness as Jaemin did.
Unsurprisingly, Mark was already staring at him, looking very much smug from the positive reaction he got. Which was also unsurprising, Jaemin would love and appreciate anything the older gave to him.
Feeling his eyes prickled with tears again, Jaemin put his present aside and stood up to face the kitchen’s direction, feeling a bit overwhelmed by Mark’s gaze filled with care and his own stupid fast-beating heart. He wondered if it ever got better, if loving Mark would ever not make him want to do something crazy and scream at the top of his lungs.
“The food is going to get cold.” He settled with whispering instead, his voice still a little weird from almost crying.
Mark hummed in response, and Jaemin could suddenly feel hands circling his waist and a chest pressed flush against his back. Technically, it hadn’t been that long since they had been in that position, but it felt like ages from the amount of times Jaemin thought about hugging Mark and having his arms around him.
Resting his hands against Mark’s who were now soothing rubbing circles on his stomach and relaxed against the older’s hold, feeling a head resting against his shoulder. “We are not getting anything done until my welcome home kiss.” Mark said, the sound muffled from having one of his cheeks smashed against the younger.
Jaemin lightly slapped the other’s hands hearing the whiny tone his voice had taken, but still turned around to face him and wrap his hands around Mark’s neck.
“You’re impossible.” He answered with no actual bite, his lips brushing against the older’s.
Kissing Mark was also something Jaemin was sure he would never get tired of. The familiarity and warmth that it brought him was immense and comforting in every way he needed it to be. He liked those lazy weekend afternoons where all they would do is kiss each other in between smiles and quick naps, their make-out sessions whenever they felt like it, when the love they felt was so much and the only way they knew to keep it from overflowing was stealing quick pecks from each other.
This was no different, not much more than a gentle kiss, but it’s still enough to leave Jaemin with wobbly legs and feeling like his head was all the way up in the clouds. Mark’s hands on his waist were enough to keep him in place, however, and bring him back down to the ground where he belonged.
His boyfriend naturally pulled away after a while, his arms still keeping Jaemin closer than usual. “Thank you.” Mark said, his lips suddenly peppering kisses all over the younger’s face, being met with a lot of resistance and squirming from him. “Your nose is so cute, you’re so cute overall.”
“When did you get strong enough to hold me into place like this?” Jaemin whined in between dodging even more kisses direct to his forehead, and tilted his head to look at the older with big eyes. “Let’s eat, for real.”
Mark huffed and looked like he wanted to protest for a moment, but one look at Jaemin’s sparkly eyes was enough to make him begrudgingly ease his grip on the younger and let him take them into the kitchen. Jaemin knew exactly how to get what he wanted.
This is what Jaemin imagined he could do for the rest of his life, eating the homemade dishes he made with his heart while Mark ranted about his entire trip while alternating between eating, wildly gesturing and praising Jaemin for his cooking.
Mark must have thought the same, if the way he looked at the younger with pure affection adorning his eyes was to say anything.