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Jaemin hears Mark’s sighing before he even sees him.
It’s late into the evening, and Jaemin is busy killing time in the living room. The last few days have been too tiring for him to even think about doing anything more productive, and honestly all that he wanted was to sleep for 12 hours straight. But Mark has been staying late at practice because of the new tour coming up in a few weeks and Jaemin would very much like to spend some time with his boyfriend after an exhausting week, even if it means losing a few hours of precious sleep.
After making his way through the door, Mark plops down on the couch by Jaemin’s side. “Is my manager an idiot? Please tell me he is.” He says, tone not unlike a stubborn child.
“Doyoung is the reason you’re still here alive and breathing, don’t forget.” Jaemin answers instead, his hands coming up to take off Mark’s glasses from his face, since he had a terrible habit of forgetting to take them off after a long day.
Mark huffs and pretends to be annoyed, but stays still when Jaemin’s hand moves a bit up and starts brushing his fringe off his face so it doesn’t poke his eyes anymore. “It’s just that this little plan of his is very dumb, so by default he’s dumb as well.” Mark sits up suddenly with his mouth open, like he just remembered something very important. “Do you know they’re calling us ‘BFFs’ now? I was one click away from sending a very unpleasant email to all the media sources Doyoung knows.”
Ah, the plan. Something that Doyoung had come up with a few months ago when they had decided to make their relationship public, seemingly out of nowhere, to help them ease their way into the public. Not that it mattered much, honestly, since they planned to reveal whether the people liked it or not, but Doyoung had insisted it would be better to prepare both Mark and Jaemin for the responses they would be getting by ‘testing out the waters’, or something.
So they had started to go out in public a lot more, to places with a lot of people that would spot them and that were ‘ambiguously romantic’, like Mark had said once. Most fans already knew Jaemin since he had been the official photographer for the last tour and a bunch of other schedules here and there, so while the two of them hanging out together wasn’t completely out of the blue, it was definitely unexpected by a lot of people.
While Jaemin liked to believe they were prepared to deal with anything the press might throw their way, he couldn’t say the friendzoning dilemma was something they had considered.
Nobody seemed to even speculate that they were anything other than friends, not even the lowest and most sensationalist of news sources. Jaemin found it completely amusing to be known as Mark’s ‘friendly acquaintance’, but the other didn’t share his same mindset and was always complaining every time a new article came out.
(“Seriously, where are the dating rumours when we need them?” Mark had said one evening, while he searched for both of their names to read everything he could about it on the Internet.)
Jaemin thought it was cute how Mark was so adamant in making sure everyone saw them as a couple, but overall he found the situation to just be funny. Some articles were absolutely hilarious, especially the ones that came up with anything to try to justify their actions, so much that Jaemin was sure that sometimes it had to be done on purpose, like a running joke that everybody but them knew. “The nation’s roommates were once again spotted feeding each other chocolate-covered strawberries and holding hands while strolling by the park!” was a quite enjoyable read for his Thursday morning a few weeks ago.
“Well, I’m glad I was finally promoted to your best friend. Just ‘Mark Lee's roommate’ doesn’t look very good on my résumé.” Jaemin responds with an amused smile, very entertained by Mark’s antics, and turns on his side to properly observe him.
Looking at Mark from here, from his faded dark blue hair, down to his mouth forming a pout and to the moles scattered around his face and neck, Jaemin knew he understood where Mark was coming from. They were both quite private people, him especially, but sometimes Jaemin just had this crazy urge to post cheesy pictures of them holding hands on all of his social media, to meet new people and be able to introduce them to his boyfriend right away, to just bring Mark around with him.
Being washed over by a wave of fondness, Jaemin didn’t even think twice before climbing up on Mark’s lap and settling down on the couch space between his thighs, because sometimes he just needs to be physically closer to Mark otherwise he would implode (probably, but Jaemin tended to overreact a lot and he wasn’t very keen about finding out if it was truth).
Mark immediately slides his arms around Jaemin’s middle and rests his head against his shoulder. “I love you.” Mark mumbles, almost too quietly for it to be heard.
Jaemin giggles when the arms around his torso suddenly bring him closer. “I love you too, stupid.” He watches Mark lift his head and give him a little fond smile, and falls a little more in love, if that was even possible. “You know, we could actually do something about it. I’m pretty sure management is only keeping this up because they like seeing your reactions.”
Scanning his face, Mark seems to be pondering Jaemin’s suggestion. “I have, like, a whole three albums written about you waiting to be released.” Jaemin blushes hard. “We could do something dramatic while on tour, maybe.”
Jaemin thinks about the black velvet box sitting on Mark’s side of the closet that he had found accidentally a few weeks ago, and then about the little box hidden in his own drawer. “I think I have an idea, then.”
Being backstage is something Jaemin never gets used to.
Everything just feels more real, from an angle where he could see the staff running around like crazy for almost two hours, could see the sea of people outside jumping and just having fun, could feel the music loud, almost deafening in his ears. But, more specially, Jaemin had the best angle to see Mark.
Mark, who had a seemingly endless energy, who liked to run around and interact with the audience, bringing a smile to everybody’s face, but also sat down with his guitar at times and brought a whole stadium to tears when he sang. Jaemin was still so enamored with Mark on stage, even after all the times he had seen him perform.
But he couldn’t even enjoy today’s concert, because all that he could think about was the end, after the last performance when Mark would surprise everyone with an extra, new song, and would call him to the center of the stage, in front of hundreds of people to see.
“Hi.” Mark says to the crowd after the last song, when the applauses die down, a nervous smile on his face, and sits back down on the little stool he was on before. “I would like to do something a little different today, since I usually just leave immediately. So, hum, here’s a new song that I wrote about and for someone special. Also, please stay until the end!” He exclaimed, sounding very excited.
Jaemin closed his eyes when the first guitar chords reverberated across the stadium, already knowing them by heart. He was there when Mark suddenly got the inspiration and wrote it, spending a crazy amount of time working on it afterwards, but he only understood why Mark was so adamant in perfecting it a handful of months later.
It was the first song Mark had written for him, just like all the other ones that would follow that are saved in a special playlist in Jaemin’s phone, when he was just filled with affection for Jaemin and had to let it out somehow. But they weren’t together back then, only clumsily dancing around each other, so Mark did the only thing he could think of: trapping his feelings in between the lines of his lyrics and musical notes, and locking them inside the pages of his notebook.
But it was the first time Jaemin was hearing the finished studio product, and he couldn’t help but feel giddy that it had turned out this beautiful.
The lyrics were a little cheesy at times, and Jaemin noticed that Mark hadn’t changed anything in them, keeping the original lovesick atmosphere the song in general had. The backtrack picked up the pace while the song progressed, and as it got louder and more powerful, so did Mark’s singing.
The audience was dead silent, and Jaemin guessed they were simultaneously enjoying the new song and wondering why Mark had meant about writing it about someone, especially a love-themed one like this. It should’ve made Jaemin even more nervous, since they weren’t showing any reactions to it, but seeing Mark smile while singing the last chorus makes his shoulders drop and his hands to stop shaking so much.
When the last chord rings and the strong lights turn back on, Jaemin straightens his back.
Mark briefly smiles at the clapping audience and turns to look at Jaemin’s direction, gesturing with his head for him to step onto the stage. So, Jaemin does.
He had expected things to look drastically different when on stage, since it had been very long since he had stood on top of one and in front of a big crowd, but Jaemin couldn’t even begin to describe the things he was feeling. Having so many eyes trained on him was almost unbearable, but there’s this special feeling to it, thinking about sharing this special moment with both Mark and what felt like the entire world, that almost brings tears to his eyes and makes him fully relaxed.
Jaemin stops by Mark’s side and takes a deep breath while looking at him. Mark was beautiful like this, doing what he loved and what he was born for, but not as beautiful as he looked when it was just the two of them sharing moments inside the walls of their house. Jaemin used to think that he had to learn to love both Marks, the one he cooks dinner for during the evenings and the one that’s touring around the world every two years. As time went on, he learned that he, like any other person, was a three-dimensional and multi-sided being, and that in the end of day all these sides of him were just Mark, his boyfriend and the one that has been with him through all these years.
Mark props his guitar on the stool and gets up to face him. Jaemin can see his hands nervously reaching for his pockets, and actually tears up thinking about how Mark is just so unbelievable, that he really thought barely hiding the ring he bought in their closet was enough, that he really loved Jaemin even after everything they had went through, that he trusted and treasured him just as much as Jaemin did. God, that Mark was going down to stand on one knee and propose to him.
“Jaemin.” Mark starts, and he looks silly trying to speak loudly for the microphone to catch it from down there while still facing him. Jaemin smiles. “I really don’t know how to start this, and I had a speech and everything ready until 5 minutes ago, but first of all, I want to thank you for all that you’ve done to me. For all the times you stood by my side when things were rough and held my hand when all that I wanted to do was break down, for the little and big things you celebrated so genuinely with me, for being there when almost no one was.”
They’re both really crying at this point, even though it had barely started. Jaemin liked to think that instead of in sync, they were in tune with each other. Instead of matching up and feeling the same things that Mark felt, a lot of the times Jaemin is in the exact opposite place, and in that way they tend to balance each other out and meet in a middle ground comfortable for the both of them. It always helps to have someone to bring you back on your feet when you’re not feeling well or bring you back to the ground when you’re feeling too much.
“I know we’re always thanking each other, to the point where other people don’t really get why and have a lot of questions, which are all very inconvenient by the way, it’s just something we like to do.” Mark stops and takes a deep breath. “But right now I’ve just completely gone out of focus and missed my point. So, anyway.”
Mark looks down and finally brings his hand out of his pocket, this time holding the velvet box out and opening the lid. Jaemin could hear a few whispers and gasps here and there from the audience, and even some people crying even though they didn’t know what was going on, bless them.
“Jaemin.” He starts again, now sounding a lot more steady. “I’ve been loving you for many years now, and it’s something I’m sure I’ll never grow tired of. And the thing that keeps me going is that I know you’re also not growing tired of it, that you would never give up on me, that when you say you will love me forever, you really mean it.” Mark takes the ring out and looks up at Jaemin like he’s the most important thing in his life. “If you would have me, I want to love you forever too. So, will you, Na Jaemin, marry me?”
“You still have to ask?” Jaemin aims at sounding cheeky, but the tears running down his face and his voice full of emotions betray him.
Mark gets up and reaches for his hand, carefully sliding the ring onto his finger. It’s beautiful and exactly his taste, and Jaemin smiles a little wider thinking about how Mark knows all these little details about him, down to what style of ring he likes. There’s hundreds of people clapping and cheering in front of him, and he feels like his chest is going to burst from the amount of emotions he’s feeling.
But Jaemin doesn’t allow himself to think too much, spurred by sudden adrenaline, and fishes out his own ring box from his finger, immediately getting down on one knee.
“Will you, Mark Lee, marry me too?”
The crowd goes even more wild at that, but his boyfriend is speechless, staring back and forth between him and the ring like he really didn’t see that coming. Jaemin thinks he’s so endearing.
He sputters a little with an answer, but settles down with a simple “Yes”. Mark’s everything Jaemin could ever want.
Jaemin glances at the audience, feeling grateful at all the smiles and cheers he could see and hear. Everything felt a little surreal, standing up here and sharing this moment with everyone, but Jaemin thinks that it just made it more special, and that this is definitely climbing up on the list of Mark Lee’s best concert moments.
When he looks back at his side, Mark is still staring at him with that dumb lovesick look on his face, and Jaemin just knows he’s going to have to put up with his fiancé (Fiancé!) being even more sappy than he normally is. Not that Jaemin cares a lot, since he plans to be just as bad.