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Ryo was walking through the hallways of the Seido Dorm one night, reminiscing on the life he used to have here. He missed the late night gatherings the team used to share in various dorm rooms or when they would practice well into the night together. He shoved his hands in his pockets, walking down an all too familiar alley with a row of vending machines. Before Kuramochi and Ryo announced their relationship, they used to meet up here and hide behind the vending machines. It was also in these dark corners that Ryo promised Kuramochi they would tell the team about their relationship after nationals.
Ryo sighed, remembering the game against Inashiro. Sadly, that time came sooner than he expected, but true to his word, they revealed to the team, in the commons, that they were dating and had been for half a year. He’ll always remember the bright shade of red Kuramochi turned during the announcement.
Unexpectedly, most of the team wasn’t surprised and seemed to have picked up on clues they didn’t know they were leaving everywhere. As Miyuki had put it, “Kuramochi lights up like a puppy every time Ryo enters the room. So it wasn’t hard to guess.” Before anyone could stop Kuramochi, he had grabbed Miyuki by his collar and thrown him onto a table. He began, very descriptively, spouting how he was going to break every bone in Miyuki’s body. He reluctantly stopped when Yuki told him he was acting childish and to let Miyuki go.
Ryo rounded the last corner, approaching Kuramochi’s door. It probably wasn’t the best way to announce their relationship, but the way that scenario played out was why he loved Kuramochi. He knocked on the door.
Eijun opened the door with a questioning look. “Ah! Onii-san? What are you doing here? Harucchi doesn’t live here.”
Leave it to Eijun to think that’s who he’s looking for. Ryo’s eyes moved from Kuramochi’s empty bed to Eijun’s paused video game. He frowned realizing that Kuramochi wasn’t there. He thought he timed it right. Kuramochi should be done showering and playing his video games. “Where is Kuramochi? The bath?”
Eijun shook his head, “No, he said he was going out to practice a little longer.”
“Hmmm? This late?” Ryo asked as Eijun shrugged. “Thanks. Have a nice night.” He started heading towards the field.
It was still extremely painful that they didn’t qualify for nationals, but lately that pain was replaced with not seeing Kuramochi as much as he was accustomed to. They used to see each other every day during and after practice. He still saw Kuramochi frequently, he just wished it was more often.
Ryo sighed, he had hoped to spend time with Kuramochi tonight, but he’d just settle with watching him practice instead. He turned the final corner bringing the field into view and stopped abruptly. Kuramochi was on the field, but he wasn’t practicing. He was helping someone else. Ryo’s heart sank. He was helping Haruichi.
When Haruichi was younger, he idolized his older brother and Ryo did his best to be an excellent role model. When Ryo started playing baseball, Haruichi thought he was an amazing player and wanted to follow in his footsteps. In order to be as good as Ryo, since he started a couple years after him, Haruichi would have to train twice as hard. Which he did.
As time went on, Haruichi showed clear signs of having natural talent for baseball, improving at an incredible rate. Ryo quickly realized he was the one who would have to work twice as hard to stay ahead of his younger brother. It killed Ryo that he discovered baseball first and yet it seemed that everything he achieved, Haruichi would eventually achieve it to a higher level. He couldn’t even have a different position on the field. Early on, Haruichi selected to play the same second base position as him.
He thought that when he moved to Tokyo to attend Seido, Haruichi would find his own path in life. That, however, didn’t happen. He distinctly remembers the day his parents informed him that Haruichi would be attending Seido as well. He would never verbalize it, but he was frustrated that Haruichi couldn’t find his own school and travel down a different road. Ryo realized, unfortunately, that Haruichi still idolized him and would most likely continue to follow him through life, stealing all of his achievements.
Despite knowing this, Ryo promised himself that he would continue to be the model older brother and help Haruichi transition into high school. High school baseball was significantly different from junior high, and Ryo wanted to make sure his quiet younger brother wouldn’t be over looked just because he was too shy to speak up for himself. Even though Ryo knew he may never be good enough to go pro, he was sure Haruichi had the skills. Haruichi had to be placed in the first string, even if that meant replacing Ryo as a starting player.
Ryo made his way to the dugout and stood next to it, watching Kuramochi ruffle Haruichi’s hair, making his younger brother blush. “Don’t be so serious!”
Ryo decided long ago that he could live with Haruichi taking his accomplishments one by one, but what he never considered was Kuramochi. Would Haruichi take Kuramochi from him as well? He shook his head. No, he couldn’t let that happen. He would never give Kuramochi to Haruichi.
Ryo’s face fell when Haruichi and Kuramochi started laughing together. That’s it. He couldn’t stand by watching anymore. He walked out onto the field, waving, “Haruichi! Kuramochi!”
The two stopped what they were doing, turning to Ryo. Haruichi’s face lite up, “Aniki! Kuramochi-senpai is-“
Hearing his boyfriend’s name off Haruichi’s tongue drove him mad. He immediately interjected, “I can see what he’s doing. Isn’t it getting too late to be practicing, Haruichi?” He was being cruel, but he couldn’t stop, “You should get cleaned up and go to bed.”
Haruichi’s smile quickly fell into a frown. Ryo smirked to himself, proud that he killed his brother’s smile. Haruichi, though, still regarded him respectfully, “Ah, you’re right.” Haruichi turned towards Kuramochi, bowing slightly, “Thanks for your help!” He ran off, not waiting for a response from Kuramochi.
Kuramochi eyed Ryo, “That was mean.”
“Thought you liked that side of me.”
Kuramochi laughed and started picking up the balls that were scattered on the ground, “I do love that side of you, but try to be nicer to Haruichi. He’s just doing his best to fill your shoes.”
Ryo rarely ever had to exert control of himself, but hearing Kuramochi mention Haruichi’s name started stirring something in his gut. He wanted to jump Kuramochi here on the field. No, it would be bad if they were caught. He would drag him into the dugout first, and then jump him. Claim what belonged to him.
He looked down at Kuramochi and shook his head. What was he thinking? Why should he be threatened by Haruichi? Kuramochi would never leave him. Would he? He sighed, bending down to help Kuramochi pick up the balls, “I was looking for you.”
“I know.” Kuramochi put the last ball in the bucket. “Want to come with me to the storage room?”
“Sure.” Ryo followed quietly behind Kuramochi.
How could he let Kuramochi’s relationship with his brother bother him? He was better than this. Haruichi knew they were dating. He would never do anything outwardly to ruin what they had. But what if Kuramochi started falling for Haruichi? Was Ryo easily replaceable? Could Kuramochi form an Iron Wall with Haruichi too?
Kuramochi dropped the ball bin onto the storage room floor with a loud thud, snapping Ryo from his thoughts. Were they there already? Kuramochi turned around, looking straight into his eyes, “What’s bothering you? That I was helping your brother?” Ryo was taken completely off guard, but he should have known Kuramochi would figure out something was bothering him. He really didn’t want to explain any of his worries about Haruichi. Not yet. He was hoping these feelings would pass. Not getting an answer, Kuramochi continued, “Did I do something wrong?”
While it wasn’t hard to guess that something was bothering Ryo, he hated how observant Kuramochi was, especially when it came to him. “Nothing’s wrong. It’s just late and I was expecting to spend some time with you tonight.” Ryo shut the door and closed the space between them. His previous thoughts of having his way with his boyfriend were creeping back. When Kuramochi started blushing, he knew the shortstop understood exactly what was on his mind.
Reminding himself that they both had to get up early tomorrow, he did his best to repress those feelings. “Can I have a good night kiss before you have to return to the dorms?”
Kuramochi chuckled, looking a little relieved, “Always.” He cupped Ryo’s face, pulling him in for a kiss.
Ryo craved more than the innocent kiss Kuramochi was offering. He wanted Kuramochi to claim him, possess him. He wrapped his arms around Kuramochi’s neck and pulled him into a hard kiss, pushing his tongue into his boyfriend’s mouth. Kuramochi was taken completely off guard but adjusted himself and gave Ryo the bruising kiss he desired.
Ryo loved Kuramochi so much, but thoughts of Haruichi taking him away were prominent in the back of his mind. Ryo weaved his fingers into Kuramochi’s hair, trying to pull them closer together. Kuramochi followed Ryo’s advance and wrapped his arms around Ryo to pull him flush against his chest.
Ryo pulled away, resting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Kuramochi held Ryo close, “You’re acting strange tonight.”
Ryo lifted his head to look at Kuramochi, but was met with a kiss to his forehead. He smiled at the small affection, “Everything’s fine. I just wanted a kiss.”
“That wasn’t just a kiss.”
Ryo realized that Kuramochi wanted an explanation, but he didn’t want to talk about it. He knew how stupid he would sound to Kuramochi. This was just something he would have to get through on his own. “Everything’s fine. You should head back to the dorms. It’s late.” Ryo knew he wasn’t very convincing but he was thankful that Kuramochi didn’t press further. This whole thing with Haruichi would blow over. He was sure of it.
“Do you want to come back with me? You can stay for another hour or so.”
Ryo wrapped his arms around Kuramochi’s waist, pulling him close. See, he had nothing to worry about. “Yeah.”
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Ryo was slowly packing up after school, but stopped to look outside at the baseball diamond he used to practice on. The first years were already out there getting the equipment set up for todays practice. He missed the days when he used to run over to the field after school to start practicing with the team. Lately, he’d been practicing after school with the other third years that planned to either play baseball in college or go pro, but he longed for the days when he would practice with the entire team.
No, he couldn’t lie to himself. What he really missed was practicing with Kuramochi, since they used to spend hours after school practicing together. Now Kuramochi was ultimately practicing with Haruichi every day, making a new Iron Wall.
He scanned the baseball diamond looking for signs of either of them and immediately found his brother helping Eijun carry buckets of balls out onto the field. At least he wasn’t with Kuramochi. Ryo frowned, clenching his hands into a fist. Why was that the first thing that came to his mind? Haruichi would have to practice with Kuramochi, and he had to be okay with it.
Speaking of Kuramochi, where was he? Ryo began scanning the grounds, but was having a hard time finding him. He finally found Miyuki with Zono off to the side, but Kuramochi wasn’t with them. Maybe he was running late? That was odd. Kuramochi had never been late to practice. Did something happen? He had to go look for him.
He grabbed his bag and started for the door, but stopped when he saw Kuramochi standing a few feet away from him. How did he miss him walk into the room? “Idiot, what are you doing? You should be getting ready for practice.”
Kuramochi shrugged, blushing a little, “I wanted to see you, so I told Miyuki to leave without me.”
Ryo couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face. “I always leave with the third years, so-“
“I told them to go ahead.” Kuramochi’s face was turning beet red. “That I’d walk with you.”
Ryo’s heart stopped. Leave it to his boyfriend to make himself late to practice over something so ridiculous. He quickly recovered, grabbing his lover’s hand, and pulling him towards the door. “Really? You said that to them without hesitating?”
Kuramochi glared down at Ryo as they walked down the hallway, “They teased me, Ryo-san.” He lowered his tone and grinned devilishly, “So I told ‘em I’d beat their faces in if they continued!”
“You couldn’t scare anyone with that grin or tone. I’m surprised they didn’t harass you further.”
“What was that?! You wanna repeat it?!”
Ryo laughed, remembering when they used to walk to practice together. They would discuss what they needed to work on and new strategies to try on the field. Since becoming Vice Captain, Kuramochi hadn’t been able to see Ryo after school. He always had to run to practice so he could start working with Miyuki and Zono.
These moments with Kuramochi always rekindled Ryo’s faith that he didn’t need to worry about Haruichi. Kuramochi had obviously missed him and was willing to give up some of his practice time to walk with him. He wished they could continue to do this every day, but knew that couldn’t happen with Kuramochi’s new schedule.
“Ryo-san? You’ve been quiet. Is something wrong?”
Ryo stopped and gave Kuramochi a kiss on the check. “Thanks for doing this today, You-chan. I’ve really missed it.”
Kuramochi turned as red as a tomato, “It’s nothing.”
Even though Kuramochi was supposed to be walking Ryo to his room, Ryo ended up walking Kuramochi to his. Kuramochi had initially complained that he was trying to walk Ryo home, but Ryo insisted that Kuramochi be somewhat on time to practice. He was the vice-captain after all. Ryo gave him another kiss on the cheek before leaving to let Kuramochi get ready for practice.
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Ryo continued to practice after school with the other third years that wanted to pursue baseball in college. They would practice until dinner, and then study for entrance exams afterward. Even though he was no longer on the baseball team, he found his days to be just as busy as when he was a full time member.
Regardless of his busy schedule, Ryo always made time to see Kuramochi at night. They couldn’t set up a set schedule since neither knew what each day would bring, so they would often show up unannounced at each other’s doors after a long day. When Kuramochi would come to visit, he regularly brought his books knowing that Ryo was busy studying for exams. They would study together, with Ryo continuously helping Kuramochi. Ryo did occasionally wonder if Kuramochi actually needed help or if he was just seeking Ryo’s attention. Ryo didn’t care either way, since he loved helping Kuramochi.
Ryo made his way to Kuramochi’s dorm room one night, carrying some books so he could study if Kuramochi was caught up in a video game. Ryo always timed his visits to Kuramochi’s room accurately. He knew when Kuramochi should be done showering and sitting down to play one of his games. Quite often when Ryo came over, he would watch Kuramochi play his games while he studied. They rarely studied together in Kuramochi’s room since his boyfriend would rather play his games. He didn’t care though; just simply being in the same room with Kuramochi was sufficient.
Besides, when Kuramochi was playing his games, Ryo could freely watch him for as long as he wanted without Kuramochi knowing. Ryo loved watching the facial expressions he made when he was winning or losing. Sometimes he felt that Kuramochi knew he was watching him, because he’d turn and give Ryo a huge grin, asking if he wanted to play too. Ryo would often play a few rounds with Kuramochi before getting tired of losing continuously and returning to his books.
Ryo stopped in front of Kuramochi’s door and knocked, waiting for someone to answer. Haruichi opened the door. His heart sank. “Aniki!” Haruichi smiled, turning around, “Kuramochi-senpai! Aniki is here!”
Ryo clutched his books tighter. “Haruichi? What are you doing here?” Ryo couldn’t hide the uneasiness in his voice as he glanced around the room looking for Kuramochi and Eijun. Surely Haruichi was here to hang out with Eijun. He quickly realized Kuramochi was the only other person in the room.
“Kuramochi invited me over to play video games.” He turned and ran back to the television where Kuramochi had a game paused, waving Ryo over. “You can play too!”
Ryo’s attention snapped to the television. He could feel his heart beating through his chest. He needed to calm down. Kuramochi motioned towards a spare controller on the floor, turning back towards the TV, “I know you probably want to study, but come play with us Ryo-san!”
Ryo closed the door, set his books down on the nearby desk, and slowly walked towards the TV. Wasn’t this time at night meant for them? If Kuramochi was already free, shouldn’t he have come by to visit? Did Kuramochi finally replace him with Haruichi?
Kuramochi turned around again to regard Ryo, “What are you doing Ryo-san? Come play with us!”
Ryo watched Kuramochi praise Haruichi for whatever amazing move he just executed. Did they often hang out after practice since they both loved playing video games? On all those days they couldn’t see each other, was Kuramochi seeing Haruichi instead? Haruichi had taken his position on the team as second baseman. Was his brother finally taking his spot in Kuramochi’s life as well? He felt a pang in his chest. Shit. He was falling apart. He had to keep himself composed. He couldn’t let Haruichi see him like this.
Kuramochi scooted closer to Haruichi and patted the floor next to him on his other side. “Sit! Sit! We can all play together!” Ryo eyed the small gap between Kuramochi and Haruichi before sitting down on the other side of his boyfriend. “Ryo-san, you can use that controller!” Kuramochi enthusiastically pointed towards the spare controller again.
Haruichi said something after him, but Ryo wasn’t sure what it was. He could feel his heart beating so strongly, he thought it was going to beat right out of his chest. He needed to calm down. They were just playing video games.
He reached out for the controller when Kuramochi grabbed his wrist. Ryo hesitated, not wanting to look at his boyfriend; too afraid of what he might see. Kuramochi leaned in closer to Ryo and said softly, “You haven’t said anything since you entered the room and you’re shaking.” Ryo hadn't even noticed he was shaking. He swallowed the lump in this throat.
Ryo was still debating how to respond to Kuramochi when Haruichi spoke, “Aniki, are you alright?” He could hear the worry in his brother’s voice, but he chose to ignore it, looking at Kuramochi. He wanted to get this off his chest, but he couldn't do it with Haruichi here. He had to be the model older brother, unable to show weakness. Ryo ground his teeth together and ripped himself from Kuramochi’s grasp, looking away from him. “I need to go.” He stood up, heading for the door. He had to get out while he still had some control over himself.
When he stopped for a second to put his shoes on, arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him into an embrace. Kuramochi whispered into his ear, “I’ll ask Haruichi to leave, but I want to know what’s bothering you.”
Ryo nodded, feeling his legs go weak. How was he going to explain any of this to Kuramochi? Would he even understand? Now he felt himself shaking. All these emotions he had built up were starting to spill out. He needed more from Kuramochi if he was going to keep it together. He turned around in Kuramochi’s arms so he could rest his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Ryo brought his hands up and clutched onto Kuramochi’s shirt. He felt Kuramochi’s arms tighten around his waist.
He wasn’t listening to what was going on around him, but he let out a sigh of relief hearing the door close. Ryo closed his eyes and whispered into Kuramochi’s shoulder, “He’s better than me, You-chan.”
“What are you talking about?”
Kuramochi really was sweet, trying to protect his feelings, but now wasn’t the time. Ryo bit back with vengeance. “Don’t act like you don’t know. He has remarkable baseball skills.”
Kuramochi’s arms loosened around Ryo. “You’re this upset because he’s better than you at baseball? I didn’t realize you were that egotistical. Should’ve guessed.”
Ryo pinched Kuramochi through his shirt, earning a high pitched scream from his boyfriend. “You’re a bastard.” He paused, gripping Kuramochi’s shirt even tighter. “I’ve never been able to achieve something and keep it for myself. Within a couple years, Haruichi would always achieve the same thing.” He laughed a little. “Except he’s always surpassed me. He’s been chasing me my whole life.”
“So you-“
“He’s going to take you.” Ryo let a few tears fall, burrowing his face into his boyfriend’s shoulder.
“Ryo-san, that’s – “
“You think I don’t know it’s ridiculous?” Shit. The tears were now flowing down his face. “No matter how much I tell myself it won’t happen, I’m reminded that he’s taken everything else from me. So what’s to stop him from taking you too?” Kuramochi held him tighter as Ryo looked up into his lover’s eyes, “You won’t leave me will you, You-chan?”
“You think I would let just anyone stare at me as I play video games?” Ryo smirked. He always assumed Kuramichi was too absorbed in his games to notice. Kuramochi kissed Ryo’s forehead, “I’m never late to practice, except when I stop to see you after school.” He kissed Ryo’s cheek, “I never study, unless I know it’s the only way to spend time with you.” He cupped Ryo’s face with both his hands, “You think I would do these things for anyone else?”
Not trusting his voice, Ryo shook his head. “I love you, Ryousuke.” Kuramochi leaned in, kissing Ryo.
All the weight that had been holding Ryo down, poured out of him through that kiss. He didn’t have anything to worry about. Haruichi may continue to take many things from him, but Kuramochi would never be one of them. He pulled away to rest his forehead against Kuramochi’s. “I love you, Youichi.”
Kuramochi quickly kissed Ryo again before gesturing towards the TV, “You interrupted a game I was playing with Haruichi. Care to take his spot?”
Ryo looked over at the game and then up at Kuramochi, “Why were you playing a game with Haruichi? If you had free time, why didn’t you come visit me?”
Kuramochi studied Ryo for a second, “When practice ended, he asked if I wanted to play video games with him tonight. Would you rather I tell him no next time?”
Ryo shook his head. “No, you can be friends with him. Next time just invite me over too.” He pulled Kuramochi into an embrace. “I missed you.”
Kuramochi held Ryo close, “So about that game.”
“Yeah, I’ll play a few rounds with you, but I have to study a little too.”
Ryo looked up to see Kuramochi beaming. “It’s always more fun when you play with me Ryo-san!” He ran over to the TV, grabbing two controllers.
Ryo started following him over, but stopped to take the blanket off of Kuramochi’s bed.
“Ryo-san! What’re you doing?! You’re gonna have to make my bed before you leave!” Ryo ignored Kuramochi, dragging the blanket over to the TV. He sat down, wrapping himself in it. He opened one side of the blanket, looking over at Kuramochi, “Care to join me?”
Kuramochi smirked, “Of course.” He sat down next to Ryo, wrapping the other half of the blanket around himself. “Alright let’s play some games!”
They played a few rounds with Ryo losing all but one, and he was convinced that Kuramochi gave him that round. He hated when Kuramochi would go easy on him, instead of making him play harder but he also knew that Kuramochi didn’t willingly lose to anyone except him.
Ryo rested his head on Kuramochi’s shoulder, putting the controller down. “I’m done, I’ll just watch you play now.”
Kuramochi kissed the top of Ryo’s head, “Do you want to stay tonight?”
Ryo snuggled closer to Kuramochi until he was practically in his lap. “Yeah.”