Chapter Text
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Our lives are stories, waiting to be told.
In search of silver linings, we discovered gold.
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X doesn’t wake up when he hears the screaming outside of his door. After all, it’s there every morning. But, in fact, X woke up hours ago. Sleep doesn’t offer him the comfort he wishes it did - sleep brings nightmares, regrets and fears. It hurts more than being awake does. He only sleeps because there’s nothing else for him here. That and Y. The rest of them gave up, Y didn’t. She keeps trying. X doesn’t understand why.
“Good morning, X!”
He sighs. X can picture her - in her wingsuit, with her Fletchling, Gale, on her shoulder, stopping on the roof next to his second floor bedroom. She’s been doing this every morning for the past five years, one week, and 2 days. He’s been sitting here for two weeks longer.
At first, they let him be. He needed time, his parents would say. They lied - they said that X was fine, that he still came down for dinner and that he still trained with Mystic and that he was still so, so happy over his win, that he just wanted time for himself and then he’d be right back at it. They said so many things, and for a few weeks, the reporters bought it.
Y didn’t.
In the end, his parents forced her to. And X - X still isn’t sure. Did they really think he was fine? Fine when he left Mystic shut in his Pokeball, lying on the kitchen table, fine when he didn’t come back for him? Did they lie for him, or did they actually not know him at all? X doesn’t know. He won’t. Now, his parents are gone more often than not. Y’s mother stops by three times a day, leaves food near his door. He hates this. He hates that he’s a burden, that she has to care because his parents didn’t. And he hates it the most, because he knows that he doesn’t deserve it, anyways.
Y tries. She tries everything. Today, it’s Super Training - but she doesn’t understand. She doesn’t understand that X is done. He’s not a trainer. Being a trainer brought him nothing but… this. Whatever this is, he hates it. And he can wish, all he wants - that he hadn’t entered the tournament. That he hadn't won. That he hadn't been born a battle prodigy. And that it - that it wasn’t in his blood. But X knows that he can wish, yet he can’t change a thing. This is who he is.
Instead, he does the next best thing. He shuts it out entirely. Tierno takes care of Mystic, and X knows Mystic is happier that way. Happier than he was with the cameras in his face, with the adults who couldn't simply let him rest. X - X isn’t happy - but he takes it, anyways. Because if one of them can have a good life, that’s the best he’s able to ask for at this point.
By now, his friends have moved on. They’ve been friends - friends since Y moved here, when she was four. Eleven years later… What are they? What are the five of them, exactly? Because they’re friends, they’ve friends, of course they are-
But are they friends, still, if they never talk? Never see each other? Y’s the only one X has spoken to in five years. But his friends don’t need him - not the way they used to. They all have dreams, they’re all busy. X is… X is not. He has nothing anymore.
Tierno is training to be a dancer, Trevor wants to be a Pokemon Researcher. Shauna dreams of being a Furfrou Groomer. And Y - Y, admittedly, has her eyes set higher than any of them. She wants to be a Sky Trainer.
X wishes he didn’t hate it. He wishes that Y’s passion wasn’t in the one thing he used to love. Pokemon battles. That used to be his thing. Now it’s hers. He wishes he wasn’t jealous, but he knows that at least she can still enjoy them. He can’t. She deserves this more than he does, anyways. And sometimes, he does feel sorry, he is sorry-
“X! Say something!” Y yells. She stomps on the roof ledge again.
X freezes, and then pulls his knees tighter into his chest. He swallows.
“...something,” he mutters.
Y falls silent. “Don’t...” Her voice drops. “Don’t you get lonely in there, all by yourself?” she asks.
X looks at the ground and shakes his head. “No. Not at all. It’s just-” He hates that he misses having somebody to talk to. But it’s not worth it. “It’s peaceful here. I don’t have to worry about anything. I just wanted them to leave me alone, and it’s working, isn’t it? They can’t bother me here.”
Y doesn’t reply. X waits. Nothing. He sighs.
“Okay, fine,” he starts. “If that’s all you’ve got to say, then you should just go off to school or something-”
“Wait.” Y cuts him off. “Wait, X, wait. ”
He does. He’s done nothing but wait. What else does she expect him to do?
“Oh my god, X, you have to see this- ”
Ha. Nice try. Y can’t get him that easily. He knows how things work around here, every day is the same and she tries this every single time-
“X!” she yells. “X, I’m not joking, the sky is weird- ”
There’s an explosion. A boom. A gunshot. X’s blood goes cold.
“ X!” Y screams.
He doesn’t move. Okay, somebody’s battling and it’s getting out of hand he gets it-
Another gunshot. Slowly, he backs away from the window. He hears somebody scream. Y swears. Then there’s one more explosion.
“Tierno! Find Trevor!” Y yells. “I’m getting Shauna, and then we need to get X out of here- ”
She’s wrong. Like hell is she getting him out of here. Like hell is he leaving, he just said that he’s fine like this he’s fine here-
But X can see her, in his head. Jumping off of the roof, slipping on her helmet and taking to the skies. He’s never even seen her fly. And maybe he wants to.
The ground shakes. X grabs the post of his bed to steady himself. He takes a deep breath. Then the ground shakes again, and outside, everything erupts into chaos. There’s screaming, not even just in fear, he hears orders and everyone’s shouting over one another and what the fuck-
A flash of neon green blazes past his window, bright enough that it pulses right through the curtains. For a moment, X goes cold. His brain draws a blank. Another shake. X stands, wobbly, and then presses a hand against the wall to steady himself.
Okay. Okay. Breathe, Xavier, breathe, you’re fine. It’ll be over soon. It’s going to be over soon.
He doesn’t know if that’s true. He doesn’t even know what’s going on. X breathes, shakily, and then staggers over to his window. He slides the curtains open. Then he gasps.
X jumps back just in time. The window shatters. Another scream. Glass litters the floor of his room, and X scrambles to find his shoes. Okay, okay, less okay-
“ Shauna!”
He hears Y’s scream over the rest of them. Of course he does. And X - X doesn’t think. Because suddenly, he yanks open his bedroom door, and then sprints down the hallway and down the stairs. He doesn’t have time to think about how things have changed and how the photos are different and how it’s so quiet-
“Mystic!”
Trevor, this time. X freezes in the middle of the living room. There’s an explosion; Shauna screams. A purple burst, a flash. A Psyshock. Shit, Mystic, shit. Still no time to think. X hears a crumble, and then he looks up and there’s a crack in the ceiling. He freezes. Then he yanks open his front door and runs.
“Y!” His voice is shaky, far quieter than he wishes it was, after years of sitting barely used.
But she hears him. She freezes, and then slowly, she turns as she wipes a streak of blood off of her cheek.
He doesn’t smile.
“Oh my god.” Y runs to him, and then drags him towards Tierno and Trevor and Shauna. “Oh my god, X, what the hell-”
“Watch out!” Somebody screams.
X recognizes the voice, doesn’t know the name. That’s what happens when you live in such a small town. But then he looks out - he looks out, at the only place he’s ever called home, in ruins with stones erupted out of the ground left and right. At the figures in bright scarlet, with red guns and Pokeballs, Houndoom snarling and launching off Flamethrowers at a singular green streak. Same one from his window. The same one, as it smashes through the center of a house and dammit that could have been any of them.
X staggers backwards. There’s a hand on his shoulder, and somehow, he doesn’t flinch. He just stands, he stares, because he thought he’d seen shit but he doesn’t know what this is-
“X, Y, behind you!” Shauna screams.
X doesn’t think, he just reacts, and he knows it’s in his blood even if he fucking hates it because it just happens.
“Mystic, use Psyshock!” he yells.
A deep blue flash shoots in front of him and Y. Then the Meowstic raises his arms, and fires off a set of thin purple beams. They smash into the vine that crept through the air, the one that almost hit him, that matches the same ones that have overrun the whole neighborhood. Mystic turns to stare at him. X freezes, and he opens his mouth to speak. Nothing comes out.
Long time no see.
His jaw drops. Mystic stares at him, green eyes expectant.
When-
Mystic turns away.
I hope you feel better now, he says, voice echoing through X’s head. He doesn’t understand. There are few, so few Psychic types strong enough to communicate telepathically. He hasn’t trained Mystic at all. How did he learn, how did he become this strong-
The screams grow quieter. Quieter, and then silent all together. X looks up. His blood goes cold. Those in red lie, unmoving, on the concrete of the streets and sidewalks. Nobody speaks. Whatever the hell that was, it actually killed them-
He breathes. Then he forces himself to keep looking.
All across town, trees are toppled, buildings are crumbled and collapsed in on themselves. People - people X has known his whole life, the ones he’s grown up with and all around - they talk in hushed whispers, pointing and gesturing at this smashed street sign, the collapsed ceiling of the dance school, the black form in the middle of the street. It’s… a Houndoom? But X doesn’t understand, it’s too strong to be a Houndoom-
Green lines stretch into the sky in all directions. X counts ten, before it’s all gone. The Pokemon is gone. It falls silent, completely silent. And then he hears Shauna begin to cry.
“Shauna?” Y asks softly. The girl holds her Skitty, Neko, tightly in her arms, shaking. “Shauna, are you okay?”
X doesn’t move, and Shauna clenches her fists, setting Neko down. Tears run down her face, but she fixes her gaze at the sky and wipes them away.
“Rose got blown away by the blast. I don’t know where she is. I want to find her, I need to find her-”
He looks down. Shauna wants to be a Furfrou groomer. X knows that. Real fucking hard when you lost your Furfrou.
“You don’t think she’s here in town?” Y asks softly. Shauna shakes her head. “But where else would she be-”
“I just know, okay?” Shauna sobs. “I just know, but I don’t want to talk about it but you have to take my word for it and I just-”
“Hey. It’s okay.” Y takes her friend’s hand.
Y is a good person, and he doesn’t understand why she kept trying to get him to come out when he’s not-
“It’s okay, Shauna. We’ll go find her together. There’s nothing-” Y looks across the street at her own house, half crumbled. “There’s nothing here for us, anyways.” Y holds out a hand, and her Fletchling, Gale, lands on it. She mutters something to him under her breath, and he chirps in agreement.
X looks down, and then at his house. It’s in no better shape than Y’s, or the rest of the neighborhood. But it’s fine, it’s okay, he can just clean up or he can find somewhere to stay a town over and his parents will be back and they’ll find someone to fix it, it’s okay and in just a few weeks or a month or two or three, it’ll all be back to normal again-
“I’m going too,” Tierno says. His eyes drift towards the smashed sign of his dance school. “It’ll take months for things to… go back to normal. We’ll find Rose, okay?”
X bites his lip. Because not only is Tierno right - he is, and that’s almost what hurts the most - but X sees the way his friends look at one another, the way the four of them all nod. In agreement. Maybe X, finally, sees the consequences of what he did. At least the very start of them. Because for a moment, he wonders if he’s really one of them anymore.
“X?”
But then again - what does Y expect? What does she expect him to even say? She looks at him, as if she’s hopeful, as if he’d go somewhere. But why the hell would he, when he knows exactly what the media will do to him and to Mystic? As if - as if he doesn’t hear them already.
“Are you on a journey? Are you challenging the gyms? Are you going to challenge the Pokemon League? Where have you been hiding, for the past five years?”
X hates to admit it when he’s scared. He shouldn’t be scared. But he can lift his head, he can lie, he can say that this is not fear it’s common sense - but he knows. Five years to himself has taught him that he is not stupid. He’s scared. At least a little bit scared. The last thing he wants is for things to happen all over again.
“What?” He snaps.
Y stares at him, and then she sighs. “We’re all leaving. You always-” She pauses. X doesn’t look at her. She’s brought this up, dozens and dozens of times. “You always said we’d go on a journey together, y’know? You wanted to take on the gyms, I wanted to get stronger to prove myself to my mom. Trevor has his dreams, too, he has a Pokedex to complete, and-”
“I get the point,” X says shortly. He shuffles his feet. “I get your point, Y. This is just another excuse for you to try and get me to leave the only place I feel safe, ” he spits. He knows it’s a low blow. He knows it’s rude, but he can’t help it if it’s true. To her credit, Y doesn’t flinch. Trevor does. X doesn’t even feel bad.
“Y, X doesn’t have to leave if he doesn’t want to-” Shauna starts. Y turns to glare at her. Shauna looks down. “None of you have to come with me, okay? I just need to find Rose, I’m going to, but you can all stay here and just wait and things will go back to normal, I know they will-”
“You can’t even say that,” Trevor says quietly. “We don’t know how long it’ll take. The whole town is in a million pieces, so what are people going to do? Everyone will be going to Aquacorde, and then what? We all stay in the motel for six months? I want-” He pauses, and looks down. “I want to see the rest of the world. There are a lot of Pokemon out there. I want to meet the Professor, I want to learn and I want to get a Pokedex and I-” He stops. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Rambling again.” Typically, this is where Tierno would smile. Make a joke. Nothing. Instead, he just looks down, tapping his foot. X looks away.
“It’s fine. I’m getting out of here. There’s-” Tierno stops. “Y’s right,” he sighs. “Y said it. Dance school is what kept me here, but it’s… gone now. For a while. It just feels… pointless?”
“See? Tell that to X!” Y snaps. She bites her lip, and then sighs. “Look, X. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for… forcing you to do stuff you don’t want to do.” X watches her carefully. She takes another breath. “And I know it’s hard, I know you’re finally feeling safe and that’s great and I’m sorry that the weird red dudes had to come and take that from you - but you can’t keep hiding forever. Get out. See the world. And you were - you were incredible, y’know. Back when you were a trainer. We were all proud of you, and we still are. But why do you care what other people think of you? You’re strong, you’re one of the best trainers in the entire region right now and you could be great if you just were willing to try. Haven’t you had time? It’s been five years, and I don’t understand why. ”
X doesn’t reply for a moment. He has had time, he has. Y’s right. But why… why doesn’t he feel any better?
“What’s the point?” He asks quietly. “What’s the goddamn point, when I know that it’s all going to be exactly the same again?” Y looks down. “Yeah. Exactly. You don’t get it, and I don’t care if I used to be good. I’m just… I’m done with Pokemon battles.”
And for once, it seems, Y’s at a loss for words.
“Wait, but X-” Trevor starts. X stares at him. His friend stops, and looks down. “Nevermind.”
Silence, again. Then the police sirens, the red ambulances. The world keeps spinning. X doesn’t move.
“Aren’t you afraid?” Y says softly. X looks up. Her eyes flick down, avoiding his gaze. “Aren’t you afraid, of letting your Pokemon down?”
He freezes.
“What?” he asks hoarsely. “I-” He wants to give an excuse. He wants to fight back. But he doesn’t have anything to say, except that-
What are you afraid of? Mystic asks.
X looks down at him.
The Meowstic stares up at him, expectantly. What are you afraid of, X?
Are you not afraid too? He thinks slowly. They built me up, they made us into a spectacle. And then they tore us down. How are you not afraid? I watched them hurt you, Mystic, do you not understand that?
The Meowstic looks away. What happened to you, X?
He doesn’t reply.
You’re right. They did do that. At one point, they hurt me too. But you have to get over it. You have to move on. And you have to prove that by not letting them tear you down, you’re stronger than they ever thought you were.
“X?” He looks back up at Y. “Everyone else is off to pack. I… I should be too. But are you okay?”
Oh. Right.
“Fine,” he says. “Just thinking.” That much is true, even if communicating telepathically is... a different story. “I just-”
He just what? He just doesn’t want to? He doesn’t want to leave, he knows that much, but he also knows that maybe him sitting around isn’t right anymore and he should just try-
Leave, X. You’ve hidden long enough. And don’t you think if you let them get to you, you’ve let them win?
He freezes. Then Mystic falls silent again, and X, slowly, meets Y’s gaze. He swallows.
“I don’t want to,” he says finally. He pauses, as Y’s face falls. Then he takes a deep breath. “But it’s not like I have much of a choice, do I?” he asks.
Y freezes, but X doesn’t give her the time to speak.
“My house is basically destroyed, Mystic is saying that I’m letting them win if I don’t do this, you’re never going to leave me alone. I don’t think I have a choice,” he says.
Y stares for a moment, and then her jaw drops.
“What?”
X stares at her, and then turns away. “You heard me. I’ll pack some stuff and try not to step on the shattered glass on my floor along the way.” Maybe that would be better, actually. Maybe he wouldn’t have to leave.
“Oh my god. X, wait-”
“Give me half an hour. I swear, Y, do you not understand- ”
“I understand!” She blurts. “Okay, okay, go, but you better be here in half an hour or I’m dragging you out of your room myself!” She yells.
X sighs, and raises a hand in acknowledgement. He walks towards his house, and returns Mystic to his Pokeball. Then he stops.
What the hell is he doing?
X turns, looking back over his shoulder, and takes a deep breath as he lets his gaze scan the town. Then he shuts his eyes, and exhales. He didn’t lie earlier. He does not have a choice. For the longest time, he felt that he hasn’t. But maybe this is the start - maybe this is when X turns, he fights, and he stops letting other people take his life from him. Even if about the last thing he wants to do is try.
Because what else can he even do, at this point? It was his choice to live, in the end. And maybe he should…
And maybe he should actually do something with the chance he’s been given.