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Remus never really loved his birthday. It was always one of those days that everyone builds up that ends up being just like the rest. His mum, Hope, being a muggle (and her family not really understanding his father) and being an only child, birthday dinners were like his daily dinners - just the three of them. It was nice, don't get him wrong. He loved both his parents and his mum's chocolate cake, but it was never anything special. He missed that cake, it was one of the only things he missed while away at school. Besides that, he really truly adored being at Hogwarts. His home away from home.
Now that it was sixth year, Remus and his three best friends - The Marauders as they dubbed themselves - had created their own birthday traditions and they'd stuck. They would wake up the birthday boy by jumping on his four-poster bed whilst singing "Happy Birthday" off-key. Then, they would make their way down to breakfast, and having already talked the house elves into making that Marauder's favorite breakfast the night before, they practically skipped down to the Great Hall.
Remus will never admit to skipping though, that was more of a Sirius and James activity.
Now that it was "their Moony's" birthday - as they so lovingly named him - the breakfast would consist of lot of sweets: Donuts, muffins, biscuits, jams, the works.
"I have to say, I do love your birthday Moon-pie," Sirius sighed taking a bite of the jelly-filled donut, looking at Remus from across the table.
James and Peter nodded their heads along with Sirius's statement, digging into the mountains of food they'd piled on their plates.
Just then, Lily sat down next to Remus and bumped her shoulder with his.
"Happy birthday, handsome," she smiled and the compliment made Remus blush as he returned the shoulder bump smiling back, "Thanks, Lils."
"Oi, Evans, what do you think is better, jelly-filled or cream filled?" Sirius asked turning to the redhead to settle the debate he and Peter were having.
She thought for a second, "I'd have to go with neither actually. I love a good strawberry frosting donut."
"Psh, you would. Our Jamsie is the same way." Sirius sent a wink to her and then to James which only made the two of them blush and look at each other with soft smiles.
Years prior, James would have eaten that comment up. He would've made some witty quip about how they were meant for each other or something similar to try and get her attention, but this year was very different. Remus took to his thoughts to remember what had happened earlier this year.
See, Lily and Sniv-Snape (it was a hard habit to break, to stop calling Snape Snivillus, but he was trying. For Lily's sake.) Snape and Lily had always been the best of friends, a weird pairing Remus and the rest of the Marauders thought, but a pairing nonetheless. This year the friends had started off as they always were, at least the first few weeks.
But then, Remus, and others, started to notice a change. Snape hanging around those arsehole Slytherins and Lily, thank Merlin, had been staying closer to her dorm mates - Mary, Marlene and Dorcas.
Remus remembers the specific day it all went downhill and he honestly doesn't think anyone could forget it. James, Sirius, Pete and Remus were sat in the courtyard for one of the last nice fall days, planning some prank he can't remember now. Dorcas, Mary and Marlene were there too, probably gossiping about how Alice and Frank were going steady these days. There were others outside too, but he can't remember.
Anyway, everyone was sitting minding their business when Snape and Lily walked outside. Immediately everyone could tell they were bickering. It was an occurrence that had become more common as the days went by this year. Usually Remus didn't think much of it. Lily was a stubborn spitfire and if she didn't like something, she wasn't very good at hiding it and Snape, well, Snape was just an arrogant prick, so who knows what had sparked this fight.
Suddenly, their arguing got louder and it seemed as though Lily was truly getting upset. The Marauders were now close enough to hear and Lily was begging Snape to listen to whatever point she was trying to make. Remus could practically hear the tears threatening to spill.
That's when Snape said it, "You're just a filthy mudblood anyway. What the fuck do you kn-" He didn't even get to finish the sentence before James Potter, man that he is, stood up, walked over and punched him square in the face. Everyone around them gasped, even Lily through her tears. But James threw his arm around her to shield her from everyone staring and walked her inside, calling for her dorm mates to follow.
Snape had stumbled backward from the blow and Remus, Sirius and Peter were stood in front of him once he got his bearings.
"You think you're so tough?" Sirius had began, "Hanging with my cousins, my brother and all those other prats, following around that even bigger prick! You lot are the scum. You think being a bit different is worse off than being someone like you? Well, fuck you, Snivillus, why don't you just fuck off!" Sirius was getting worked up and Remus knew it. Placing a hand on his best friend's shoulder, he felt Sirius relax under the touch. Then, James stormed back outside and right back up to Snape. Remus almost laughed as Snape flinched.
"Listen here, you buggering little fuck," James then closed his eyes and Remus could tell he was trying to calm down. Taking a deep breath and opening his eyes again he continued with a low menacing voice The Marauders had only heard maybe once.
"I would hex you until you were bloodied up and begging for mercy, but I won't. And that is only because that wonderful girl in there wouldn't want it. She'd want be to try and be kind to you. She's better than I am, and she's a whole hell of a lot better than you are. If you ever, and I mean ever, say or do anything to hurt her again, I will not hesitate to find you. Do you understand me?" James asked through gritted teeth. Remus had never seen the happy-go-lucky guy so angry in his life. (Except the time he was explaining to Remus the situation and state Sirius was in that caused him to run away from home and to the Potters.)
It was a good thing James became more mature this year - James would never admit this fact, but Remus could see that he'd done it for Sirius. From what Remus noticed, Lily thought this was a good thing too. She was definitely warming up to Prongs and The Marauders were ecstatic. Especially because that would mean that James would stop crying about how she'd never like him, because Lily definitely was starting to. You could never mention this change of pace to James though.
Once, Peter had and it wasn't pretty. Lily and the girls were hanging with James, Peter, Remus and Sirius around the common room fire - something that had become a regular thing - and everyone saw James and Lily curled up on the couch talking amongst themselves quietly. The remaining friends looked between each other, silently asking if this was really happening, when Peter piped up, "Think Lily will give our Prongs a chance this year then?"
Suddenly the two snapped their heads toward the boy. James pretended he didn’t hear Peter and suggested they all play some game instead. Later in the dorm though, James lamented to his three roommates about how much he really did love the red-head and to make sure they said nothing about it to her or he’d “hex them into next week.” Which Remus, Sirius and Pete all new he’d never do, but they didn’t really want to push his limits.
So, things between James and Lily were a bit tense. They were friends and everyone seemed to know how the two felt about each other except them. It was quite exhausting sometimes, but Remus was sure the tension would snap at some point and they’d just song each other senseless.
At the ruffling of his hair Remus was pulled from his thoughts. He smiled at the culprit.
“Cas!”
Besides Lily, Remus was probably closest with Dorcas out of the girls.
“What are we chopped liver?” Marlene complained motioning between Mary and her.
“Happy birthday, Re,” Mary smiled. “Happy birthday, Remus,” Marlene shoved his shoulder and sat down next to Dorcas.
Dorcas shot Remus a look and he just winked at her. Dorcas and Remus were close because they had both come out on the same night two weeks ago. Again, one of those late nights around the common room fire and Sirius had his head on James’s shoulder whining about how he wasn’t sure who his next snog should be. When the inevitable conversation came.
“Moony, why don’t we find you a nice girl to shag, huh?” Peter’s suggested. Remus saw James's body tense up and Sirius lifted his head staring at Pete.
Remus cleared his throat and glanced at Lily who gave him a soft smile, then at James who nodded, beaming at Remus to continue.
“Actually, uh, Pete, girls... they’re not really my type?” Remus’s voice cracked at the end of his sentence. Pete glanced at James who was wearing the classic James Potter I’m-So-Proud-Of-You smile, which he wore often after a full moon or an amazing prank.
“Oh,” Pete breathed, “Okay. A bloke then? F-For you to snog?” Remus just nodded as Dorcas wrapped an arm around him, “Guess nows as good a time as any to say I fancy girls,” she added shakily glancing around the room. Marlene’s cheeks heated up and Remus knew something was going on there, but didn’t say anything. Just wrapped his arm around Dorcas’s waist and gave a squeeze.
Remus couldn’t bring himself to look at Sirius, he could feel his stare. Instead he looked at James and sent him a ‘please help’ face.
“Well, as long as we’re coming clean, I fancy girls quite a lot,” James added and everyone burst out laughing.
“Yeah I think we know that, you tosser,” Lily punched his arm laughing. James pretended he was hurt and retaliated with a poke to her side which made her squeal.
“Potter! Stop!”
“She’s very ticklish,” Mary laughed and with that the subject was changed. Remus never did see how Sirius reacted that night.
Remus had come out to Lily first, a month prior to that night. He didn’t mean to, but there was a party in the Gryffindor Common room after James led their team to victory yet again beating Ravenclaw. Remus had a few drinks in him but not as many as Sirius. The two were snuggled up on the couch when a pretty girl a year below them walked up and asked Sirius to dance.
At first, Remus didn't even give it a second thought. I mean, being in love with your best friend for as long as you can remember, you get used to girls asking him out and just having to deal with it.
But in that moment, Sirius looked up at Remus whose arm still slung over the long-haired boy’s shoulders and Remus couldn’t tell if it was the shots of fire whiskey they'd had or the close proximity, but he felt electricity zip between them in that moment.
He thought for a second Sirius might feel it too. Padfoot looked between the girl and Remus and looked utterly torn. When Remus said, “Go on have some fun!” and got up to fill his cup once more, he couldn't even look to see Sirius’s reaction.
The werewolf's eyes were filling up and he was too close to breaking down in front of everyone. Remus snuck out the portrait hole, ran down the steps and sat next to the staircase. He was too busy crying to notice Lily had seen him and come running after him. She sat down and rubbed his back and he curled into her, not caring what he looked like, not even caring if she knew.
“I’m sorry Remus. I really am,” Lily cooed.
Remus wiped his eyes, “I just- It’s so hard. I-I’ve been so good about it but then there are these m-moments I think he knows and I th-think he might feel something too. B-But it’s always the same. I need to stop kidding myself.”
“Hey, hey now. You’re wonderful. Funny, smart and handsome. I mean if you liked girls, I’d be first in line!” Lily joked.
“It’s okay Lily you don’t have to do this. You can go back to the party. I really didn’t mean to inconvenience you.”
“Remus, you act like you pulled me out of there. We’re friends are we not? I saw you upset and wanted to help. You could never inconvenience me. Don’t ever apologize for being upset,” She continued to rub his back.
After a few beats, she piped up, “Do they know? The marauders I mean, about you, ya know not liking girls the way they do?”
Remus let a few more tears fall, “I haven’t said a-anything to them. Or anything out loud e-ever. I f-feel awful keeping it from them. B-But I just don’t know what they’d say, or how they’d react.” Lily nodded and then Remus realized he’d never come out to Lily either.
“H-How...?”
“Did I know? Well, I guess I never quite knew, but I saw how you looked at him...and how you smiled when he’s done something stupid, or anything really. I just had a suspicion and then when I saw what had just gone down...I figured you’d need a friend,” Lily explained.
“I love all of them so much. I just don’t want them to ever treat me different or... I don’t know... they do so much for me already, Lily, s-so much...” Remus was getting himself worked up and Lily pulled him closer.
“They love you. They love you more than I’ve ever seen friends love each other. Remus, everything’s going to be okay. I’m not saying you should run off and tell them right now, I’m just saying Potter will probably try to set you up with any good bloke he knows once he finds, just to try and make you happy,” Lily whispered in his ear.
Remus gave a watery laugh at that. She was right, he knew James - and Peter since he’d follow James off a cliff - would probably be taken aback at first but then do anything he could to make Remus feel okay. He wasn’t the problem though.
“He’s not the one you’re worried about though,” Lily whispered, more to herself, seeming to read his mind.
“No,” Remus breathed, “I just, Lily, I tried so hard not to. I really did. You know? Make sure it was just a passing fancy, make sure he’d never find out, try and not be bothered make sure everything stayed the same...” Remus shook his head.
“It’s just so hard. I-“
“Have you ever thought of telling him?” Remus heard a soft voice speak from behind them. They both turned to see James, looking quite bashful.
“James! Don’t know you it’s wrong to eves drop!” Lily let out in a hard whisper.
“It’s okay, Lily, really. Do you think you could give James and I a moment?” Lily wiped a stray tear from Remus’s face and gave him a smile.
He could hear her whisper some kind of threat to James ad she walked past him on the stairs, but didn’t pay any mind to what it was she said. James took Lily’s place next to Remus.
“Moony,” he sighed, “You know I love you, right?”
Remus let his head rest on his friend’s shoulder. “Yeah. I know that.”
“I’m not gonna say I’m upset you didn’t tell me, but telling my Lilyflower first! What happened to Marauders versus everyone!” James joked and Remus elbowed him in the side.
“You know I didn’t mean it.”
“I know, I know. How dumb do think I felt following after you two thinking you were a thing! Come out here to realize I was way off,” He chuckled ruffling the werewolf’s hair.
“Oh, Prongs I’d never do that to you!” Remus exclaimed.
“Trust me I know you wouldn’t... it was definitely the fire whiskey and the sad way Marlene said Lily’d followed you out here,” James explained, “Was just being dumb-struck Prongs as usual. Marlene wasn't sad for me, though. She was sad...”
"For me..."
"Yeah," James sighed slinging his around around his friend.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, or the others.”
“Hey, don’t you dare apologize to me. I’m sorry you thought you couldn’t say anything to us. We love you Re, poof werewolf and all.” James laughed and Remus laughed with him.
“That’s me,” Remus laughed and then put his head in his hands, trying to avoid talking about the elephant in the room.
James pulled Remus’s hands down, “Remus, take a deep breath. You’re shaking there mate.”
He took a deep breath not meeting James’s eyes.
“Re-“
“It’s okay, James, can we not talk about it? I really just want to go to sleep.”
“Just promise me you’ll talk to him at some point. Doesn’t have to be soon, but at some point.”
Remus just nodded and they both headed back up to bed.
That day was a month ago, and thinking about it now, looking at Sirius sat across from him at the breakfast table, it made his head spin.
He had no idea what to do. But he promised James he’d at least talk to Sirius about it, so he’d do it at some point.
Thankfully, Sirius had treated Remus the same once he came out. If Remus thought too much about, he’d think Sirius was actually being more... Sirius around him now. Always a nickname like “Moonpie” or snuggled close in the common room, Sirius even skivved off all his classes the day after the full just to sit with Remus and read. But Remus didn’t like thinking too much about it, or he’d get his hopes up.
After watching some banter between Marlene and Sirius, and eating to his hearts content of chocolate biscuits, he rose from the table.
“Where you headed off to?” Lily questioned.
“Forgot my potions essay,” Remus explained, “In the midst of the morning birthday attack..." He sent a joking glare to his three best friends.
“Hey, not our fault we wanted to wake our Moony properly on his birthday,” James shrugged.
“I’ll walk you,” Sirius stood as well and everyone sent him a questioning glance while, James just looked at Remus.
“Forgot my divination book,” he shrugged and Remus pushed the hopeful thoughts out of his mind.
He’s straight Remus. He doesn’t like you. He’s just being a friend.
Remus and Sirius walked down the Great Hall and out to the hallway.
“Thought you didn’t have divination 'til after lunch,” Remus stated making conversation. They hadn’t been alone together since Remus came out and Remus could feel the tension between them.
“I know, just thought I’d walk with you and grab it now.”
“Oh”
“Yeah”
“Alright Moons?”
“Huh?”
“You just look a little shaky.”
“Oh, uh, just a bit chilly,” Remus lied trying to think of another reason he should look nervous.
He felt Sirius grab his hand and pull it into his own as they walked down the corridor.
“Your hands are freezing,” Sirius said, acting as if this was the most normal thing for him to do. Sirius pulled Remus’s hand up to his lips it rubbing the warm breath on Remus's hand.
He froze. Remus almost died right there.
Moony slowly pulled his hand from Sirius’s grasp.
"Thanks Pads," he said, "Just a little bit chilly in the castle today."
They walked up to the fat lady and serious gave her the password, "Chicken feathers."
As they walk through the common room, Sirius's fingers danced over a few of the keys on the piano that sat there.
It sent a chill down Remus's spine. He obviously loved everything about Sirius, but the fact that Sirius played piano was something only Remus got to see. It started in second year. One night Remus was woken up by a nasty nightmare close to the full and decided to go to the common room to sit by the fire to calm himself down.
What Remus didn't know was that when Sirius had nightmares, he also headed downstairs.
Something Sirius liked to do to calm himself down was play the piano. He had been forced to take lessons as a child and resented it, but he used to play growing up and it would put Regulus to sleep. So when Sirius couldn't sleep, he'd sneak downstairs, play the songs he used to play for his little brother and slowly start to become sleepy.
That night in second year, Remus had snuck down and saw Sirius playing. It was beautiful. He carefully and quietly sat in the loveseat that sits next to the piano. Sirius pretended not to notice his dorm mate, but it warmed his heart to be able to play someone to sleep again. Eventually, after a song or three Sirius's eyes started to droop and he quietly asked Remus to "move over a bit."
The two boys fell asleep wrapped up in each other and a blanket.
This was something that would happen often as the years passed. After Sirius was done, Remus would pat the cushion next to him and Sirius would pull the blanket over the two of them. They'd wake up the next morning, smile at each other and head up to their dorm room, never really talking about what had happened the night before.
As they grew, some of those quiet nights turned into long talks. Remus would hear about Sirius's nightmares and how he worried for his brother. Remus would in turn, tell Sirius about being werewolf; the things he could smell, how he could hear so much better than other wizards, and sometimes, on bad nights, about his strained relationship with his father.
"Here's your essay," Sirius handed Remus his parchment, tearing the boy from his thoughts. Remus offered up a soft smile and the two headed to their classrooms.
The rest of the day went by swimmingly. Potions was perfect. He and Lily had gotten their brew correct on the first try and Slughorn was impressed. James helped Remus out in charms when he couldn't quite get the flick of his wrist correct.
Lunch was full of witty banter between Dorcas, Lily and Remus. Marlene would throw a few quips in as well, but then it would make Dorcas blush and the conversation would end.
"So, when are you gonna tell her?" Remus asked quietly on their way to Ancient Runes.
"Tell who what?" Dorcas played dumb.
Remus rolled his eyes, "C'mon Cas..."
"Re, we want to tell you guys, we're just taking everything really slow. I mean she's not even out yet and I don't know if she's ready-" Dorcas's ramble was cut off by Remus pulling her into a hug.
"Oh Merlin! You're dating? Dorcas! That's amazing! I'm really happy for you both," He exclaimed trying to hide the bit of jealously that was creeping into his heart.
She smiled a big dopey grin at him, "Yeah, thanks. She's great... really great... just please don't say anything yet?"
"Solemnly swear," he smiled crossing his heart with his index finger. She laughed and nudged him, "You marauders are so weird."
Finally, classes ended and the crew had taken their usual spot around the fire.
"Can't believe you really didn't want a party for your birthday, Remus," James groaned later in the night. Lily took the spot next to him, a little closer than usual. "James, it's a Tuesday," she sighed leaning her head against his shoulder. James was frozen.
"Y-You-You just called me-"
"James, yes, I know. I can go back to Potter if you'd like-" she tried to shift away raising her eyes in a challenging fashion, but James cut her off.
"Nope. James is perfect, Lily. Thank you." He smiled that bright Potter smile and threw his arm around the red-head, the rest of the crew just looked at each other smirking as if to say, "We called it."
"So, Remus, no party. Anything you want to do? It is your birthday..." Lily asked changing the subject.
Remus shrugged, "Guess I'll have to settle with just hanging out with you lot." He sent a sarcastic smile through the room.
"Oh, come off it Moonbeam. You love us," Sirius said softly snuggling into Remus's side much like how Lily was to James. Remus tried to his blush.
"I'll go change the record, anything specific?" Peter asked the group as the T.Rex album halted.
"Bowie please," Remus smiled.
"Good on ya Pete! See, now, I'd just love to get up to grab Moony's presents, but I'm kinda comfy..." James trailed off looking fondly at the girl in his arms and she sent him a playful scowl.
"Pretty comfy where I am too," Sirius looked to Marlene, Dorcas and Mary, then up at Remus who just rolled his eyes.
"You love-sick puppies are the worst," Marlene moaned getting up from where she sat to grab the gifts that sat on the table a few meters away. Remus tried not to think too much about her comment.
"Oh, wow, you really didn't need to get me anything..." Remus pulled his arm from around Sirius, ignoring the boy's huff of disapproval, and sat up straighter.
Sirius, then realizing they were now doing the gift exchange for Remus, sent James a panicked look. "Didn't know we were doing this right now." Sirius said under his breath confusing Remus a bit.
"Don't start without me!" Peter called as he dropped the needle on "Moonage Daydream" by David Bowie.
Each friend present him with a gift. Mary, Marlene and Dorcas got him a few new books.
“Thought you’d like it,” Dorcas and Marlene high-fived when they saw Remus’s face light up at the addition to his ever growing collection.
“Hey it was my idea!” Mary protested.
“I love them thank you girls.” Remus sent the three a warm smile.
“I guess I’ll go next...” Lily handed him a box he then tore into to find a pair of gray knit socks and a maroon knit hat.
She blushed, “I just saw how much you loved the hat your mom made, but it had a little hole so I thought...”
Remus grabbed her hand, “Lils, it's awesome. I didn’t know you could knit?”
That comment made the red-head sink back into his friend's arm, “I always wanted to learn, but Tuney thought it was weird. Said it was what grandmothers do, so I taught myself this year, in spite of her and her weird boyfriend. Those are my first two projects.” She gave a shy smile.
“That’s talent right there!” James exclaimed and she hit him playfully on the chest.
“Thank you so much. I’m honored to be the first,” Remus chuckled.
“Not the last though, I’m going to need a new pair of mittens come winter!” Mary said making everyone laugh and add things to the list Lily needed to make them.
Peter then stood up and picked up a bag from the table, “This ones from me!”
Remus opened up the present to find an assortment of different chocolate bars.
“Oi! Wormtail! This is a fantastic addition to my secret stash…and what’s this? A new flavor from Honeydukes? Amazing! Raspberry and orange in chocolate? I cannot wait to try this.”
His friends laughed over Remus’s enthusiasm for the treat, but he couldn’t help it.
“Just topped it off with a box of your favorite tea bags,” Pete beamed at his fellow marauder.
“It’s perfect! Thank you.”
Everyone in the room then turned to James and Sirius silently asking which one wanted to go next, thought there was only one gift left on the table. ‘They must’ve gone it on it together,' thought Remus, but James was the only one who moved toward the present.
“Alright, looks as though it’s my turn to shower our Moony with a gift!” Remus smiled trying to hide the hurt he felt that Sirius hadn’t thought to get him anything.
Taking the gift and opening it, he was so happy to see it.
“A kettle we can keep in the dorm! For you know, those days you want to just have a lie in,” James said and Remus knew he meant it for when his bones hurt so bad he couldn’t move. Before and after the moon. They knew having a warm cuppa helped calm Remus, they’d made many risky late night trips to the kitchens. Remus was thankful they could take something off the list of 'Things We Do For Remus That Could Get Us In Trouble.' Very small thing to cross off, but it was crossed off nonetheless.
“Oi! Prongs! It’s wonderful! Thank you! I love it. I love all the gifts thank you guys so much,” Remus beamed trying to push down that aching sad thought that ‘Maybe Sirius doesn’t think we are as close as I do...’
“Not over yet! James added, “Padfoot?” He turned to his chosen brother, “Want to give Remus yours now?”
Sirius stiffened beside Remus and the werewolf couldn’t bare look at his friend.
“Uh, um, I-I honestly don’t have it.” Sirius stumbled out.
James sent Sirius a look, that to Remus, meant ‘Stop it right now’ so Remus cut in, “It’s alright Pads, don’t worry. I really did love today and all the presents. It was really kind of you all. Think I may even dive into one of these books now!” he smiled at the girls.
Mary chuckled, “If Re is just gonna get all cozied on the couch, I’m gonna head up to bed, it’s getting late. Love you all!” She called as she made her way up to her dorm. Dorcas and Marlene were behind her saying their goodbyes as well. Pete yawned and agreed it was his time to go.
Most of the other Gryffindors had gone to bed about an hour earlier, since it was a school night and all. That left James, Lily, Sirius and Remus.
Sirius had stopped cuddling into Remus once he started opening presents and now sat at the other end of the couch while James and Lily talked quietly on the other.
Remus pretended not to feel Sirius’s stare on him as he tried to concentrate on his new book.
James yawned, making Lily then yawn. The two laughed between themselves and agreed it was time for bed. Remus, not wanting to be alone with Sirius stood up saying, “Looks about that time to head to bed.”
James looked between Sirius and Remus quickly and said, “Um... can you give me one second? I’m going to show Lily something in our dorm...” Lily looked appalled and went to protest, but James sent her a look she seemed to understand immediately and nodded her head.
He took her hand and led her up their staircase.
“Ha, Prongs,” Sirius laughed dryly.
“Yeah,” Remus slouched down on the couch not looking at Sirius. It was too painful right now.
“Look, Moony, I’m sor-“
“Hey it’s alright, Pads. Don’t worry about it!” Remus tried to sound cheerful as he played with the frayed ends of his jumper.
Suddenly Sirius was close. Sitting right next to Remus and taking his hand.
“Moon... Remus,” Sirius started, but Remus took his hand from Sirius's, still not daring to look at the boy he’s loved for years.
“Like I said. It’s fine really!”
“Please just listen. I need to get this out,” Sirius begged and Remus looked up confused. He nodded for Sirius to continue.
“Okay, so,” Sirius started again and then more to himself continued, “wow, I don’t know why this is hard. You’re Moony. I’m Padfoot. Remus, Sirius. My Moony,” Remus met Sirius’s gaze then breath hitching at the possessive adjective before Remus’s nickname.
Sirius cleared his throat not breaking eye contact.
“Remus, you’re so special to me, more than anyone I know. More than anyone,” he breathed.
“You’re special to me too, Pads. You're my best friend,” Remus spoke softly not quite sure where this was going.
“No, no,” Sirius shook his head, “Please, Moony just- okay so your birthday was coming up, and I was talking to James and I wanted to get you something that showed how special you are... then it hit me... everything hit me. Honestly, I don’t even know what I’m saying, I’m just going to give it to you.”
Remus was now thoroughly confused but watched as Sirius crossed the empty common room to sit on the piano bench.
“C’mon, Moonbeam sit in your spot,” Sirius said with a hint of... was that nerves in his friend voice? It couldn’t be.
Remus curled himself in his usual position on the couch and asked quietly, “Sirius?”
The boy just smiled, looked down at the keys and began to play. Remus recognized the tune but couldn’t quite place it yet. But then, for the first time Sirius sang along with his playing. Remus’s entire body shivered as he sang the first few lines
“It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside. I’m not one of those who can easily hide,” Sirius sang and Remus didn’t know how to take this so he reverted to the usual sarcastic joking demeanor he used with his friends.
“I’d say you never hide, love the attention,” Remus quipped and Sirius snapped his head up beaming at Remus’s joke, but didn’t miss a beat.
He continued to sing, but this time, kept his eyes on Remus.
“I don’t have much money, but boy if I did.”
Remus jumped in there too, “You talking about me?” Sirius hid his laughter and Remus just chuckled at his own joke.
“I’d buy a big house, where we both could live.”
“Yeah, make sure Pete gets his own room, he snores.”
"Stop!" Sirius said laughing, "Listen!"
“If I was a sculptor,” they laughed, “But then again, no. Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show”
“You could do that I reckon?”
Sirius rolled his eyes.
“I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do. My gift is my song, and this one’s for you.”
Once Sirius sang that line his smile softened and he looked back down at his hands.
“And you can tell everybody. This is your song.
It may be quite simple, but now that it's done.
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind,
t hat I put down in the words.
How wonderful life is while you're in the world.”
Sirius looked up with a sad smile after singing that line and Remus felt chills run all over his body. ‘Could he actually mean... No, this is just nice of him... but what if?’
Sirius sang the second chorus as Remus’s thoughts raced throughout his head.
Remus looked back up and they locked eyes.
“Anyway the thing is, what I really mean. Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen.”
Remus’s eyes filled with tears and it looked as though Sirius was filling up as well. They couldn’t dare break the eye contact now. It felt like a magnet as Sirius finished the rest of the song.
“And you can tell everybody
This is your song
It may be quite simple, but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in the words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in the words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world.”
Sirius played the last few notes and looked down at his hands.
“Pads....” Remus breathed unable to think, unable to move, frozen in place by the beautiful song the boy in front of him played.
Sirus then looked up, eyes watery, “Remus, I-I’m in love with you.” Remus sucked in a sharp breath.
“I should’ve told you earlier. I know, because, honestly, I think I always have been. I just- You’re my Moony. I don’t think I realized it until recently... but yeah... always have been. In love with you that is.” He sent Remus a sad smile.
“I...Sirius...Pads... I...” Remus could not believe what he was hearing and certainly couldn’t make a coherent sentence as the boy he’s been in love with for years just confessed that very thing.
“Just kiss him you fool!” Remus heard James yell from the stairwell.
The werewolf grinned taking his best friends face in his hands. Holding him there, just centimeters from him, “I love you. I’m in love with you. Sirius, I love you so much.”
Sirius’s face broke out in the biggest grin as he stood and fastened his arms around Moony’s waist pulling them together. Carefully though, Remus kept his hands on Sirius’s cheeks and bent down to place a kiss that he hoped would communicate more than he ever could right then.
Sirius responded right away and let out a slight sigh as Remus wove his fingers into his hair. Remus slipped his tongue into the parted lips to deepen the kiss and Sirius moaned, “Moony.” Into the other man’s mouth.
Remus pulled away at the sound of his name, but that just gave Sirus the opportunity to take Remus by his cheeks and slam their mouths together in the most passionate kiss Remus thought he’d ever had and will ever have in his entire life.
After a few minutes both boys pulled away breathless, red-faced and smiling as though they couldn’t be happier.
“I love you, I love you, I love you! I’m in love with you Remus John!” Sirius practically shouted kissing him quickly.
“I love you too. So much,” Remus smiled.
That’s when James and Lily appeared from the staircase. James, with a cocky grin, clapping slowly until Lily nudged him to stop.
“Finally!” he cheered.
“Happy for you both,” Lily beamed, “But if you ever hurt him, Black, I’ll find you.”
Sirius just smiled at Remus like a love-sick puppy. “I won’t,” he breathed never taking his eyes off him.
“Uh... Remus! Don’t even think about hurting Sirius... and same goes to you Sirius!” James tried to sound threatening but the other three just burst out laughing.
“So, did you two sort everything out as well then?” Remus asked casually.
Lily choked on air, “I don’t know what you’re taking about, Lupin. We just walked away so Sirius here could man up and give you his present!”
“Mhm,” Sirius rolled his eyes, but went, “Thanks Jamie” under his breath as he lunged to hug his brother.
“Love you, Siri,” James responded as they embraced.
Remus threw his arm around Lily whispering in her ear, “You totally snogged in the stairwell.”
Her face responded for her, blushing like mad.
“I think you’re great together, by the way. He really does like you,” Remus continued as he watched the two other boys giggle over what just happened.
The red-head peered up at the tall boy, “I really do like him too.”
Then, Remus and Lily watched James and Sirius waltz around singing “Your Song” to each other and she facepalmed.
“Looks as though we’re stuck together then, Lils,” Remus beamed at the boy he loved and their best friend.
“Yeah, looks like it Re,” she giggled and James pulled her away to spin her around as Sirius did the same to Remus.
‘I could stay like this, forever,’ he thought to himself smiling.
Fin.