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Gawr Gura doesn’t need anyone tell her to know that she’s dying. After all, before she went to the human world, she’s been fighting so many battles in Atlantis that make her understand how fatal her injuries are and it is not like being dying surprise her either, she knew that one day she will die because even though she has a longer life span than humans, she is still not immortal, unlike Calli or Kiara who can raise from the dead.
What surprised her though that she’s not killed from battles (which she used to think she would when she was still in Atlantis) or from the old ages, but from something that she never thought she will ever experience until she met her.
Love.
Gura remembered the first time she learns about the disease. That time she was still new in the human world and everything is fascinating for her, she was looking around pointing here and there eager to learn everything as she and her manager, Enma walked around the town when a man – a few meters ahead of them – suddenly doubled over and cough out a full bloom flower along with blood.
“Oh my gosh!” Gura shouted in shock but before she could run towards the man, Enma holds her arm and stop her.
“Enma?” Gura looked at Enma who just shook her head as her eyes never left the man who now wiped the blood from his mouth.
“Hanahaki,” Enma said with a soft voice and Gura can saw the sadness that shines on Enma’s red eyes.
“Hanahaki?”
“It’s one of the cruelest diseases in the world.” Enma sighed, “It attacks people who have one-sided romantic love with some flowers that’ll grow inside their lungs.”
Gura’s eyes turned wide, “Flowers inside the lungs?!” Gura shouted as she unconsciously put her hand in which she believes her lungs are. “B-But then how will you breath?!”
“You can’t, you will die either from suffocation or-“ Enma turned to look at Gura, “Blood loss,” she said and Gura found herself turned to look at the lone flower, painted in the blood which the man just left on the now bloodied concrete street.
“C-Can you be cure from it?”
“There are only two ways, one is the person who you have one-sided love to love you back or you have to remove the flower before it reaches its full bloom through a surgical procedure.”
Gura frowned, “If you can be cure by getting that surgical procedure you talking about then why that man-“
“Because if you do that then not just the flower that is taken away from you but also your feelings and memories of the person you love.”
“Oh.”
“It’s okay, Gura,” Enma said, smiling reassuringly as she patted the shark girl's head, “The chance of someone get that disease is actually really low. Even lower than the chance to meet mythical creatures like you and your new friends that I am about to introduce to you after this.”
The moment Gura heard that she will meet her new friends, all her worries about the disease are gone, replaced by the excitement and happiness that she won’t be alone anymore.
She beamed happily at Enma before quickly pulled her by the hand, “What are we waiting for then? Let us go!!” Gura shouted happily making Enma let out a chuckle.
Come to think of it, Gura really was naïve back then, thinking that it was human only a disease, and the thought that she too can share the same fate as that man never occurred to her.
The first time it happens, Gura thought that one of her friends played a prank on her. How else can she explain the yellow petals that surrounding her the moment she woke up?
She was about to call her friends on discord, nagging them until one of them confess that they broke into her house (which is not hard remembering each of them has keys to Gura’s apartment due to the shark girl’s clumsiness that resulting her losing her key at least once a week) when suddenly she felt the tightness on her chest.
Clenching her chest, Gura took a deep breath – hoping by doing so will make the pain goes away but to no avail, as instead, the pain doubled over which make her suddenly struck with a violent coughing fit. Covering her mouth with her hands, Gura coughs for a few seconds before finally, the pain subdued. Pulling her hands away from her mouth, Gura’s blue ocean eyes widened in surprise when she saw yellow petals on it.
“A,” Gura thought as she softly clenched her fist around the flower petals, “Not Watson and her pranked then.”
XXX
The second time it happens, Gura realizes who she coughs the flower for.
A few weeks had passed since the first incident and she almost forgets as it never occurred again. But of course, life is not life if it is not throwing hoocha the moment you expect the less.
They were gathering at Ina’s apartment, spending some quality time together to catch up after the busy schedules and maybe work out some time so they can do a collab together. Calli and Kiara were sitting side by side on the couch, Kiara’s head on Calli’s shoulder and while Calli keep protesting about how she is not a pillow and how heavy Kiara’s head is, she never actually makes any move to shove the girl away.
It was a really sweet and wholesome view that Gura found herself beaming happily at them while her shark tail wagging happily making a thumping noise every time it hit the floor.
“Okay, stop with the wagging tail you stinky,” Amelia complained as she took Gura’s tail in her hand with a gentle touch and put it on her lap as she took a seat beside Gura. Ina was following a few steps behind Amelia with a tray of snacks and food on her hands.
“Thank you, Ina,” Calli said.
“You are welcome,” Ina answered with a gentle smile before offered the tea to Calli and Kiara who took it happily.
“This is really delicious!” Kiara exclaimed happily after she took a sip of the tea, “I always love your tea!”
“I can’t agree more,” Calli said as she also took a sip.
“Thank you for the compliment.” Ina answered happily before she turned towards Amelia and Gura, “Here’s yours.”
“Thank you!!” Gura shouted happily, however before she could take hers, Amelia already beat her to it, “HEY!! That’s mine!” Gura complained loudly.
“You snooze, you lose!”
“It’s not even fair! You are closer to Ina than me!”
“That is what a loser always says.”
“EXCUSE ME?!”
Amelia laughed – a happy unrestrained laugh and Gura swear that she never saw anything more beautiful than what she saw right there. The way Amelia’s blonde hair shine as the light that escapes from the closed curtain shine on it, the way her sky-blue eyes twinkling, the sounds of her laugh – everything about Amelia Watson made Gura’s heart flutter and send her whole body into tingling.
And as if on cue, Gura felt her lungs getting squeeze up like her own body decide that it doesn’t need any air which making her broke into a violent coughing fit. In instinct, her eyes shut tightly while her hands flew to her mouth, covering it as she keeps coughing petals. Gura can feel tears started forming at the corner of her eyes as the pain she felt right now is nothing like that time when she was alone in her room. Her throat felt like it was on fire while her lungs seem like on the mission of emptying the air inside it.
“Oh my gosh, Gura? Are you okay?” Amelia asked once Gura’s fit had ended.
Gura opened her eyes slowly while clenching her hands carefully as she was afraid that the petals inside fall and shove her inside her hoodie pockets.
“I-I’m okay,” Gura said with a hoarse voice.
“Are you sure?” Amelia asked as she leaned closer to inspect Gura, unbeknownst to the detective that her action actually brings more harm to Gura as she could feel another squeeze.
Gura quickly stood up, “I-I need to use the bathroom!” she shouted as she runs towards the bathroom, not even wasting any second to hear what her friends said.
The moment she arrived in the bathroom; she quickly locked the door before running towards the toilet bowl and threw up yellow petals and blood. After what feels like an eternity, Gura is finally done throwing up flowers and blood. She quickly flushed them away before sitting down on the cold bathroom floor, back leaned on the toilet as her left hand wiped the blood on her mouth while her right hand reach inside the pocket and pull out the bloodied yellow petals.
Gura frowned as she inspected the petal, she knew that she saw the petals before as it looks familiar. The problem is she has a short-term memory span and she can’t remember what kind of flower that the petal is belonged to.
The soft knocked on the door snapped Gura out from her deep thinking about the flower and she quickly stood up.
“Gura, are you okay there?” Amelia called from the other side of the door, voice filled with concern.
“G-Give me a moment!” Gura pulled out all of the bloodied petals from her pocket and dump them into the toilet bowls before flushed them down. She then washed the blood away from her hands, shaking it slightly before opening the door.
“Hey there Watson,” Gura said with a smile that she hopes didn’t show that she just threw up flowers and blood.
Amelia frowned, a concern reflected on her face and eyes as she looks – no, more like investigate (and if Gura was not that tired from vomiting flowers and blood, she probably will laugh at her joke) the smaller girl, “Gura-“
“I am okay, Ame,” Gura quickly said, “Really, I think I just eat something bad,” Gura added when she saw Amelia’s frowned deeper.
Amelia didn’t say anything for a while, making Gura squirm in nervousness before finally the detective let out a small sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, “How many times should I tell you that you can’t eat everything, Gura.” Amelia said with a small smile on her face, she was clearly not convinced that Gura is okay but she probably saw something in Gura that makes her took a step back and play along.
“I am not that bad!” Gura said, shoving the blonde hair girl.
“Whatever you say,” Amelia chuckled.
“Come on, let’s go back and play with the others!”
“Oh no, you are not.” Amelia quickly said, blocking Gura.
“Wh-What?! Why?!”
“You clearly need rest Gura,” Amelia said, eyebrows scrunched together, “I know you are saying that you are okay,” she continued when she saw Gura opened her mouth, “But you look like a shit right now.”
“Wow, what a way to say to a girl Watson.”
“Eh, I have my own charm,” Amelia said, shrugging before she put the serious look on her face again, “You are worrying us with the little stunt you pull back there, the others want to check up on you as well, but I told them that too many people surrounding you while you feel ill will has the opposite effect from what we intend to.”
Gura let out a sigh of relief, yeah she doesn’t want the others to see her like this.
“Come on, let just say goodbye to the others before I walk you home.” Ame put her hand on Gura’s arm unknowingly sending the tingling feelings to the smaller girl.
Gura’s eyes widened, she quickly turned – running back to the bathroom and slammed the door shut, locking it.
“GURA?!” she could hear Amelia shouted which she ignored as right now she has a more urgent mission which is to reach the toilet bowl before she spilled her blood and flowers – maybe even guts – on Ina’s clean bathroom door.
“Gura?! You are really worrying me right now!” Amelia’s shouted, trying to open the locked door with force.
“I-I am okay!” Gura managed to shout back before she spills out more flowers and blood to the toilet bowl.
The sound of rushing footsteps before another voice, which Gura recognize as Calli shouted, “What’s wrong?! Is Gura okay?!”
“I don’t know!” Amelia shouted back, voice latched in concern and frustration as she rapidly knocking the door, “Gura!”
“Gura, please let us in!” Ina – the usual cam and collected Ina – shouted which makes Gura realize just how much she worrying them right now.
Still, there is no way she will let them in.
“N-No!”
“Now is not the time for being stubborn Gura!” this time it was Kiara who shouted.
“Gura?!” Calli called.
“I-I’m fine!” Gura lied as she wiped the blood from her mouth and flushed the petals and her blood away, “I-It just… I think I got a really bad case of stomachache because of the milk I drink this morning! Seriously, stop worrying guys! I-It’s not like this is the first time it happens to me!”
“…Dumb,” Amelia said with a huffed and Gura just let out a weak laugh at that because yes, she is dumb. How come she didn’t realize her feelings until this Hanahaki Disease infected her?
Gura is in love.
And not just with anyone.
“Well, when you are done emptying your stomach inside Ina’s bathroom, I will walk you home and you have no say in this matter.” And although her words are harsh, Gura can hear the unspoken concern in Amelia’s voice.
Gura stayed in the bathroom for a few more minutes, making sure that she and the bathroom look presentable enough before finally walking out. As soon as she saw her friends' faces, guiltiness hit her as she could clearly see how worry they are. She answered all of their questions the best she could before finally they thought it was enough for today interrogation.
“You really need to check the expiration date, Gura!” Kiara scolded when they finished and Gura just gave a small weak smile.
“I will be more careful next time,” Gura said.
“You better be,” beside her, Amelia said, “Okay, say you bye to everyone Gura. I’ll walk you back.”
“Bye…”
“Be careful you two.” Ina said which Gura and Amelia answered with nods of their head before finally taking off.
The walk was spent in silence as both girls were deep inside their thought and only when they reached Gura’s apartment room that Amelia finally breaks the silence, looking straightly at Gura’s eyes.
“Please take care of yourself.”
Gura nodded, “I will.”
“And if something happens-“ Amelia shook her head, “No, even if there is nothing happen please don’t hesitate to call me.”
“Okay.”
Amelia nodded, “Go to your room then stinky, and have a rest.” Amelia smiled, “Also don’t forget to drink medicine.”
“I won’t,” Gura answered even though she knows exactly that she won’t drink the med.
“I’ll see you later, Gura.”
“See you later Watson. Thanks for walking me home!” Gura said.
She waited until she couldn’t see Amelia’s back before quickly went into her apartment – slamming the door as she slumped on the floor, spilling out her flower petals and blood on the floor.
Gura is in love with Amelia Watson.
Her best friend who saw her as a best friend only, nothing more.
Gura clenched her hands, grabbing the bloodied petals around her as the flower inside her lungs rustle when the realization dawned upon her.
The realization that Amelia will never return her feelings.
XXX
It’s been a few weeks after the incident at Ina’s apartment and her sickness only worsened as time goes by. She coughed the petals every day and every time she talks or even just thinks about Amelia, Gura will throw up a bouquet worth of flowers. The sickness also affects how she looks. Her once healthy body feels like it could break at any moment, her face and skin getting paler each day, and bags starting to form under her eyes as she couldn’t sleep without the flowers suffocate her. She keeps losing weight because she couldn’t bring herself to swallow anything – food or water, heck she couldn’t even talk without feeling that her throats burn.
And the once yellow petals were now almost become full bloom flowers, which is enough to reveal what flower it is that grows inside Gura’s lungs.
Sunflower.
Gura looked up the Sunflower meaning.
Loyalty, warmth, positivity, power, and strength.
It was a perfect flower to describe Amelia. Although Gura could not tell if she coughed it up because of that or because the disease wants to mock her as there is another meaning of Sunflower.
Adoration, admiration, and platonic love.
Is this how the disease told her to give up on her feelings towards Amelia? That her love is doomed from the start?
The logical part of her brain told her to do the surgery before it becomes too late but just the mere thought of her forgetting Amelia and her love towards her is enough for making her think that death is the better option.
Oh, Calli will be proud of her.
The notification sound from her phone pulls Gura out from her thoughts. Putting away the bloodied Sunflower that she just coughed up, she took her phone and saw that her manager asked her if she feels better now after a few days of rest.
Gura was about to reply with a short ‘No.’ before thought better and send that she needs more time to rest before locking her phone and put it away. Not even bothered to wait for her manager to respond or even replying the messages from her friends that they sent yesterday.
Gura let her back leaning on the headrest of her bed as she looked at the scenery outside her room window.
“Wise men say, only fools rush in,” Gura sings softly, ignoring the growing pain on her throat, “But I can't help falling in love with you.”
Gura closed her eyes.
“Shall I stay?”
And as if in cue, Amelia appeared inside her mind.
“Would it be a sin? “
The blonde hair girl has this soft smile that Gura always loves to see, and her eyes reflect the gentleness that she rarely shows. It reminds Gura of the first time she met Amelia Watson which also makes her wonder if she already fell for the blonde girl since the beginning.
“If I can't help falling in love with you?”
Gura remembers the way Amelia laughs every time Gura said or did something stupid.
How patient Amelia is towards her, explaining everything and waiting for her to work it out herself.
“Like a river flows, surely to the sea.
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be”
For years, Gura thought that she was a failure shark. She is the only one among her peers who did not have any achievement back in Atlantis no matter how many battles she fought or how many years passed.
But then Amelia… Amelia told her that she is proud of her. She is the first person who ever told her that aside from her mom, and for the first time in forever Gura believed that she is not a failure.
Amelia is like the sunshine inside Gura’s dark world.
“Take my hand.
Take my whole life too.
For I can't help,”
Gura let out another cough, ignoring the flower as it fell on her now red-stained bed before softly whispered.
“Falling in love with you.”
XXX
“Talk to me,” Amelia pleaded as soon as Gura answered her phone.
“I am talking to you right now, aren’t I?” Gura said, chuckling before violently coughing into her hand. She wasn’t supposed to answer the phone but the moment she saw Amelia’s name flashing on her phone screen, her hand reacts faster than her brain could even process and slide the answer button.
“Gura…” the tremble in Amelia’s voice made Gura winced in guilt, “Please… Why-why are you acting like this? Why are you pulling away from us? We barely heard anything from you now. Enma told us that you need time to rest and said that we shouldn’t come to visit you. But you make it hard for me right now.”
“I’m sorry,”
“I don’t need your sorry, Gura.” Amelia said, “All I need from you is an explanation, why are you like this? Why are you even-“
Gura doubles over, her hands clamping around her neck – sending her phone to the ground with a loud thud. She could hear Amelia shouted something but Gura’s ears are ringing – muffling the sound while her brain can only process one thing.
It hurts to breathe.
She gags and chokes while her hands unconsciously clenching hard on her neck in a vice grip. Flowers after flowers spilling out from her mouth to the ground along with blood, making her already fragile body shaking violently as she falls to her knees. Gura squeezes her eyes shut as tears formed at the corners and fell.
“Is this how am I going to die?” Gura thought when the flowers finally decide to give her some rest. Her eyes were locked into the now full bloom sunflower around her, “Stop mocking me, you stupid flower,” Gura whispered softly before closing her eyes, “I already know way before that it is too late for me.”
Gura doesn’t know for how long she was in that position, but she guesses it was long enough for Amelia to rush to her apartment. She could hear her front door slammed open, rushing footsteps and then a gasp.
“G-Gura…”
Gura turned her head slightly and smiled, “H-Hi Ame…”
A pair of familiar warm arms circling her waist and pulled her into a back hug.
“Do-don’t cry, Ame…” Gura softly said as she put her hand on Amelia’s. She guesses that throwing up that much has its own perks as she finally could touch Amelia again.
She could feel her back – where Amelia pressed her face onto – are now wet from tears as Amelia’s body trembling.
“W-Why…” Amelia asked, voice shaking in fear and sadness as she tightening her hold, “Why you never said anything about this? “
“I-I’m sorry…” Gura said before she softly pulled away from the hug just so she can turn around and looked at Amelia’s face.
“D-Does Enma know about this?”
Gura shook her head, “N-No one knows.”
Amelia nodded, wiping her tears, “I- I’ll tell Enma about this later, right now we need to go to the hospital and-“
“Ame,” Gura softly called, “It’s too late for me now, it’s already full bloom.”
Amelia’s eyes widened in shock, “N-No,” Amelia quickly said, shaking her head, “W-We can still fix this- I can still fix this,” Amelia said as she reached out to her watch but before she could grab it, Gura snatched it away from her.
“No, Ame. I won’t let you fix this.“ Gura said before she shook her head.
“What are you talking about?! You are dying Gura!”
“I know.”
“If you know then give my watch back!”
“No.”
“Gura!” Amelia shouted angrily.
“What are you even going to do, Ame?” Gura said, eyes blazing, “Making sure that I won’t fall in love with her? Making sure that I will never meet her in the first place?”
“If that is what it takes to save you then yes!”
“Well too bad because I rather die than never met you!” Gura shouted, realizing a second too late that she just confessed her secret.
Amelia went still while Gura’s eyes widened in fear.
“Oh no… no, no, no, no.“
“You mean all of this – you are suffering because you have feelings on me?”
Gura looked away.
Where are the flowers when she needs them?
This is the most perfect timing for it to come out and choke Gura to death.
“Gura,” Amelia put her hands-on Gura’s cheeks and slowly turn it around to face her, “Please, no more lies. I think I at least deserve the truth.” Amelia said.
Gura closed her eyes.
Amelia is right – just like how she usually is – she deserves the truth.
Gura at least owes that much to the detective.
Gura took a deep breath and open her eyes.
She reached out to the nearest sunflower and slowly with a shaking hand, she offered it to Amelia.
“I love you,” Gura said, and she could feel the flowers inside her lungs rustling as if they are happy that she finally said those three words, “Always have and always will.”
Tears fell from Amelia’s eyes. She leaned closer to Gura, pressing their forehead together.
“You are such a dumb shark,” Amelia softly whispered, before kissing the top of Gura’s nose, “I love you too. Always.”