Chapter Text
Peter Parker sometimes seriously hates being part of this deranged yet somehow functional family.
In twenty-two years of his life (excluding the time where he was dead, but also kind of alive) he never grew out of the baby role his unconventional family has given to him. So it’s not a surprise that once he got himself a girlfriend, a real one, he never told anyone about her. Yes, he pulled Clint Barton’s move. And he liked it very much. He felt like he was in some kind of James Bond movie. Having a double life excited him way more than it should.
But at the same time, it made him feel bad. He was afraid that she’ll think, that he’s ashamed of her or something as ridiculous as this. He loved her more than anything and wanted to protect her from everything.
Even if he knew that she was more than capable of taking care of herself.
He learned that the hard way.
Once he tried to scare her. On the plus side, she did end up getting scared. On the other side, she thought that someone broke into their apartment. That’s how Peter Parker, the oh-so-great Spider-Man ended up with a black eye.
And sprained ankle.
And bruised ribs.
But if any of the Avengers asked– he ran into some thugs while patrolling. No way he’s going to admit that his tiny girlfriend that they still don’t know about beat his ass.
“Come on, stop bothering the kid,” Thor said hardly keeping himself from laughing as loud as others. “Boy’s just waiting for someone special to pop his cherry.”
Yup, this is one of these moments where Peter considered throwing himself out of the window.
“I’m pretty sure you only use this saying for girls.” Steve interrupted. Peter liked Steve. Even if most of the time he couldn’t understand what this man was saying. Especially once he got into one of his nostalgic moods. “Maybe you should use a different fruit analogy?” He pretended to be in thought. “Waiting for someone to peel his banana?”
Never mind, Peter hated Steve.
“Guys! Stop saying that!” Peter yelled frustrated yet with no malice in his voice “I’m not a virgin!” But no one was really listening. Apparently, all the Avengers were having too much of a good time making fun of their youngest member. After all, they all saw him as a younger sibling. Well, except maybe Tony who would never say it out loud, but had to admit that Peter has grown on him. Tony even started marking important days in Peter’s life on his calendar so he wouldn’t miss anything. But teasing him came naturally to the team. Especially for Wanda, who took him under his wing after Pietro died. They formed a weird duo. Training together. Playing video games together. Even sharing some secrets.
Well, most of them.
There was no way Wanda could keep a secret from Nat. No one ever wanted to train with Nat. Her routine is way too brutal. Not even Bucky could keep up with her. And if the spy knew, she would make Peter train with her every day in exchange for keeping his secret. He knew that training with an ex-Russian spy would result in years of pain and probably a few detached limbs. And frankly, Peter would like to keep his balls.
“We’ll stop once we see you with a girl hanging off your arm.” Clint laughed taking another sip of his beer. “Or maybe a guy? You do look like someone who’s into bad boy type of guys.”
“I’M NOT GAY EITHER!”
And yet, in the middle of the chaos that Peter’s life was, he forgot one thing.
Nothing slips by the eye of Natasha Romanoff.