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The Kamo Aquarium was vastly different from what Yuuji had anticipated.
He had heard people praise its beauty, but seeing it in person was a unique experience. With no memories of visiting any aquarium before, excitement welled up within him.
He had asked Gojo sensei if he could tag along with Ijichi on a short mission to Tsuruoka with the excuse of visiting his grandfather’s grave in Sendai. Although he genuinely intended to pay his respects, there was another stop he had planned.
It wasn't hard to escape Ijichi when they got to Tsuruoka. He didn't think he'd be long anyway, but also knew he had to keep a low profile.
Hands in his pockets, he followed a group with a guide, mostly kids his age, likely on a date or simply enjoying the end of the week, seeking respite from the real, surface world.
He knew what the aquarium was best known for, but that didn’t prepare him for the amount of jellyfish that he saw when he went past the reception to the entrance. As he walked along he saw the names on the signs - Lion's mane, Immortal, Freshwater jellyfish - there were so many of them and all so impossibly beautiful. Each of them showing different colors and sizes. All of them swimming and floating so differently around their limited space of water.
Blue, white, purple, yellow, all of these colors danced all over the faces of the kids and couples walking along and looking around that Friday evening. They made it feel as though they were all truly under water, inciting a silence that felt natural, as if not to disturb the peace of the ocean.
For a brief moment, Yuuji felt calm, yet an underlying restlessness persisted beneath his skin. As he continued observing the jellyfish, the serenity gave way to a growing unease. Running his fingers gently over the glass, he questioned whether these mesmerizing creatures belonged here, so close to the vastness of the ocean. It felt like a cruel joke.
But what would he know? Not until recently Yuuji, hadn't even known the first thing about jellyfish. Not until he met him.
“Jellyfish have tiny stinging cells in their tentacles to stun or paralyze their prey before they eat them. Inside their bell-shaped body is an opening that is its mouth. They eat and discard waste from this opening.”
Yuuji slowly placed a hand on the wall next to the glass, encouraging himself to remain calm as the guide spoke to the group.
“Their stings can be painful to humans and, from certain species, they can even be deadly. Although these magnificent marine creatures don’t purposely attack humans, most stings occur when people accidentally touch them.”
The day he met Junpei they stayed until very late watching movies, talking, eating and laughing. Yuuji had always been told he had a way with people, and he knew what they meant. He’d hardly ever engaged in conflicts before becoming a sorcerer; he had never seen the point. Well, at least most of the time. Trouble always seemed to find him in the end, for some reason. But at least he believed in giving people a chance to surprise him.
Maybe he couldn’t understand every single human in the entire world, but he tried, because he liked it. He didn’t see why not. Never questioned it.
It occurred to him how he had never questioned himself in any important amount. He thought there wasn’t more than what he showed. But maybe he went out of his way to understand people because he didn’t understand himself.
An Atlantic sea nettle floated right next to the gray wall where he scratched a finger against the material. Yuuji wondered if touching it would kill him.
One of the movies he watched that night with Junpei was Seven Pounds. The ending had really struck him, as it’d probably done with many more.
Besides him, he saw Junpei on his phone, whispering to himself, “I thought so.”
“What?” He asked, smiling when Junpei’s eyes caught his.
Maybe he wasn't the smartest of the bunch, but he knew he could be very perceptive; and he often trusted his gut.
He noticed that Junpei hadn’t known what to make of him when they had first met, but he’d slowly but surely come out of his shell and showed his true personality. Yuuji thought he was smart, sweet and confident in his very own way.
He saw it in the way Junpei cared for his mother, he saw it in the way he went out of his way to analyze movies he liked and in the way he talked about those things he seemed to love and care about.
Behind those walls and... bangs, he was as genuine as a person could get, but didn't seem to realize that.
When Junpei smirked back at him, visibly excited and ready to give him an answer, Yuuji just knew he was a person he would very much like to be around often.
“You saw those jellyfish at the end? They are box jellyfish, from the cubozoa class. Take a look.”
Yuuji stepped closer on the couch, perhaps too close because he felt Junpei stiffen. He didn’t push away, however, because a second later, Junpei moved even closer. On his phone there was the exact jellyfish from the movie, cube-shaped and blue.
“The Box jellyfish venom is one of the most deadly in the world. The toxins attack different organs such as the heart, the nervous system and, well, the skin. The effect is so big that whoever is stung by them would be unfit to be organ donors.”
Yuuji frowned. “So that means…”
“Movie error, yeah.”
“Yoooo," He threw his arms up, catching on how Junpei followed them with his eyes. "At least they are as deadly as they make them out to be.”
“Actually,” he stated, putting his phone down. “The stings were treatable, meaning he could have saved himself.”
Yuuji laughed and shook his head.
“That’s dark, man.” He pushed his shoulder against his'. “But so interesting! You’re so smart, Junpei. The film could’a fooled me.”
Junpei shook his head, apparently trying to hide the blush on his cheeks that Yuuji couldn’t help but notice.
“How come you know so much about jellyfish? You wanna study something related to that in the future? Like, sea stuff?”
Genuine surprise appeared on Junpei’s face before he quickly made it disappear. “I don't know. I don’t think so. You know the Kamo Aquarium in Tsuruoka? Yeah, it’s commonly known for its impressive collection of jellyfish. My mom took me there for the first time when I was a kid when we lived there. Now, once a year, when mom and I have enough saved we just go there, stay at my aunt’s or I just… yeah, anyway. We just go there and… look around.”
“Look around?” He smiled, imagining little Junpei and his mom walking around an aquarium. He wondered if he wore those bangs back then.
“Look around. They have over sixty species of jellyfish and a lot of information on them. The staff are all super smart and helpful.”
“That’s really cool.” He shook his head picturing so many jellyfish in a single building. “I’ve never been to an aquarium. At least I don’t think I have.”
Junpei’s eyes met him again. “We can go one day if you’d like. Even to the ones in Tokyo if you can't travel...”
Yuuji’s eyebrows shot up, as usual, unable to mask his excitement. “Nah, you mean it!?”
He was met with a chuckle, accompanied with a sincere, affectionate warmth. “Sure. If we go to Kamo there’s an exhibit I think you might find interesting...”
Yuuji blinked and noticed that the group had started moving. He fixed his jacket, hurried and went to catch up with them. He saw them going into another room and, as he passed the door, he looked around and knew instantly what Junpei had meant.
Jellyfish dream theater, a sign read besides a huge, five meter, circled glass that contained an impossible amount of jellyfish circling, floating, swimming around. The guide explained how there were over two thousand moon jellyfish in there.
As the crowd moved closer to take pictures, Yuuji found himself frozen at the back contemplating the tank.
The "theatre" was indeed incredible, one of the most beautiful things Yuuji had ever seen. The moon jellyfish were stunning and elegant as they danced around in the water.
He couldn't help but wonder if they were okay like that. Was the tank enough for them? Were they all okay gathered together, for the rest of their days, never knowing the peace of isolation?
He remembered that in Finding Nemo the jellyfish were all, always together, so maybe that's how they were better off, in a group, among others of their kind.
There's an exhibit I think you might find interesting.
He wondered how Junpei had felt when he looked at them in that impossibly huge tank of water and glass. Yuuji imagined his slim figure walking along the corridors, looking around the tanks, reading the different informational signs and memorizing them either because of how many times he'd been there or because he'd really wanted to .
He imagined him coming across the theatre and stopping, just as Yuuji had, at the back to contemplate that huge and beautiful jellyfish heaven. Or prison.
Had he felt overwhelmed? Had he felt stunned? Had he felt uncomfortable at the thought of all those jellyfish gathered together in a single tank? Or had he felt a sense of comfort in knowing that they all, at least, had each other? That they would never know what loneliness was?
But then it occured to him that maybe he didn’t know enough to even imagine how he would have felt, what he would have done, how he would have stood besides the glass. Because, what did he even really know about Junpei?
He remembered him laughing alongside him on the couch. He remembered his face filled with interest as Yuuji managed to surprise him with a random fact he didn’t know about the making of a movie. He remembered his eyes full of warmth once they’d gotten to talk a bit more, and the blush on his cheeks and the top of his ears when Yuuji made him laugh.
He remembered Junpei that day at the school looking numb, empty. Then to him looking desperate, wretched and miserable and...
He realized he was alone in the theatre, everyone had moved on to the next exhibit or to the gift shop right at the entrance. He walked closer to the jellyfish.
There were lights at the top illuminating the tank, perhaps aiding the creatures to look as fluorescent as they did. Closer they looked unbelievable, so soft that Yuuji had the silly thought that he wanted to bite one. They had a shape at the center of each of them that resembled something like a four petal flower, and moved with a slow and unique rhythm that captivated him.
As he looked up, the mesmerizing sight left him feeling as if he were inside the tank, part of their serene world. Imagining himself floating among the beautiful jellyfish, untouched and peaceful, he pondered if this was what Junpei had meant and why he found solace there. The idea that he wanted to show this to Yuuji, share similar thoughts, similar feelings, made his chest ache so bad that he was immediately thrown back into reality where he was just a helpless boy staring at an aquarium tank full of jellyfish.
One of them moved closer to the glass in front of his face, and Yuuji realized he had seen a creature like that before. He had been stabbed by one, actually. He reached towards the glass.
Junpei’s shikigami had been a moon jelly.
He jumped when someone cleared their throat besides him.
“Ah, sorry.” He smiled apologetically, moving his hand away from the tank. “It was too late when I realized the group had moved along.”
The guide gave him a sympathetic smile and turned her head towards the tank. “Quite hypnotizing, aren't they?”
“Yeah.” He followed her glance. After a beat of uncomfortable silence, he said, “Uhm. Would you mind telling me a bit about them? I didn’t catch anything at first.”
She smiled and shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. Well, they are predators’ favorite because of their nutritional value, so they often hang in areas where there’s more fishing and humans so they aren’t caught.”
“Is their, uh, venom lethal?”
“Not really. It hurts, yes, but their sting is the least lethal of all species.”
Yuuji hummed and looked at them swimming swiftly among each other. It felt almost ridiculous to think such pretty, delicate creatures could cause any sort of pain.
After a while he looked beside him and found he wasn’t the only one stuck looking at the tank. The guide had to be around her thirties, but the light reflecting from the glass made her look younger, like a kid. She hummed. “Jellyfish also have a sort of symbolism in spirituality.”
He tilted his head to the side. “Symbolism?"
“If they appear in your life, it means that you should trust your heart and follow your own emotions and instincts… believe in your own power, of what you can do and give.” She smiled to herself as she made a dramatic gesture with her hands. “That even though everything is temporary, you should have faith in things.”
“Basically, they are a symbol of blooming love. One that makes you want to do better, despite how fleeting it can be.”
Yuuji stared at his feet.
She laughed as she seemed to go off the trance she’d been in.
“Well, that’s not in the program, so you won’t find it there." She put a hand on her chin. "This kid who came a few months ago, all by himself, told me. I think he must have been around your age.”
He felt his breath hitch. He barley heard his own voice say, “Really.”
“He told me he’d read that on some shitty spiritual site or something. I told him that it was quite nice, but he said he didn’t know if he believed it. He looked so beaten about it, though. As if he'd wanted to.”
She shook her head.
“Good kid, that one. Had so many questions. I had been working here for just a few months but he was one of the first people to actually look me in the eye and treat me like a person. Made those five years of studying Marine Biology worth it.
You see a lot of people coming and going when you work at a place like this. But, for some reason, I’ve never forgotten about what he said. Weird, probably.”
There were noises coming from the door to the main entrance, a baby was crying. A group, probably of young people, was laughing.
“I hope he finds it, you know?"
Yuuji only stared.
"The answer he was looking for. The love he was talking about.”
She checked her phone.
“Anyway, I’m gonna leave you to it, kid.”
Yuuji only managed to nod as the guide left. Then he found himself standing there alone, in front of thousands of moon jellyfish, for a while more.
As they headed to Junpei's house for dinner, Yuuji paused to tie his shoes. Immediately, Junpei halted and returned to wait by his side.
That’s when Yuuji realized not many people did that, actually stopped for others. He didn’t usually mind it, but he couldn’t help the grin forming on his face as he saw Junpei fidget next to him. Such a small gesture of empathy.
It had shocked him to the core to see that same guy about to kill someone the next day at the school. He didn’t want to believe it. And he was proven right when he realized by looking at Junpei’s broken features that he was just someone that had been carried by a violent tide. Someone who had been shown only the worst of what humanity could be.
Someone who didn’t know he’d been trapped into the smallest tank, not knowing the ocean was just a few feet away.
Now back in Tokyo, Yuuji sat at that same place where they had both talked and properly met that first day. He grabbed a tiny rock from the floor and threw it at the water.
Just after a very few minutes, he’d known he wanted Junpei to join the sorcery school. He could see it perfectly. The interesting way in which he would quickly connect with Fushiguro through their calm personalities. The way in which both Nobara and him could learn from the other. He could see Junpei instantly feeling drawn to Nanamin, and the way in which he’d be at first a little scandalized by Gojo sensei’s antiques, only to learn so much from him as well.
He could imagine the both of them in his room watching movies, side by side, eating popcorn, him leaning on his shoulder as Junpei talked about whatever he wanted, whatever he loved. He pictured himself, gadly listening, for as long as he could.
It’d all felt so real and possible. He could have left his tiny tank of water to finally join the others in the ocean.
But it was all taken away by Mahito, and Yuuji couldn’t understand it. How it had all gone wrong so quickly.
Because he hadn’t known what Junpei had really been going through, for god knows how long.
But he didn’t punish himself for not knowing that, but because the chance to do so was taken away from him. And it was because of Sukuna.
No.
It was because of him.
For two days, Yuuji had the chance to get to know someone he believed could have held a special place in his life. The affection for his mother, the knowledge about jellyfish, the calculating gaze, expressive eyebrows, and the tentative smiles directed at Yuuji—
While not the most intellectually inclined, he was recognized for his proficiency with people and adeptness at reading them. Yuuji wasn't oblivious. Moreover, he noticed the curiosity blossoming within his own chest.
However, it all amounted to a fleeting experience, for he would never truly know.
He would never know.
He stretched his legs and lifted his head to look at the changing colors of the sky. It was a cold evening, the wind on his neck sent shivers down his spine. He placed his arms on the block, meaning to get up but found himself unable to.
He realized his hands were shaking. He placed them against his knees, and under his thighs but they didn’t seem to stop.
He clenched his jaw and bit his lip but he couldn’t stop them. Tears fell down his face as he tried his hardest to calm down. But there was no use.
A part of him felt silly for grieving someone he never truly knew, but that was what he was grieving the most. The promise he couldn’t make. The future he wouldn’t see. Even if Yuuji didn’t exactly have long to live, he just wanted justice for other people.
Junpei deserved justice. And he would give it to him. He swore he would give it to him.
If that shitty spiritual website had been right about what jellyfish appearing in your life meant, he would have faith, then.
For that impossible boy and what could have been.