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The fact he was worrying about this was stupid.
Sebastian knew it was, and that’s what made it even stupider. This was a mountain he was making into a molehill.
Or maybe a molehill he was making into a mountain?
Irregardless it was a nothing problem he was making into a huge deal.
It was a comment he knew was made for the sole purpose of getting under his skin and making him doubt his relationship. This wasn’t exactly new behaviour from Pops. But at the same time the thought gnawed at the back of his head.
Does he know about your hands and the story behind them yet?
Pops’ words still echoed in his head, even hours later.
Because he hadn’t. The scars were fairly faded, but still noticeable enough for people to ask about. Sebastian was a man with a career now, a successful one built on his own merit despite snide comments from others about being the Chief Prosecutor’s favourite. What little credibility he had would completely disappear if word got out about his scars.
He kept the fact he was an idiot a closely guarded secret nowadays. It was a lot easier when you knew, but it was now a secret that hinged upon him keeping his gloves on.
Hugh himself made a habit of praising him for being a genius. He was always the first to brag about it to anyone, telling them about how brilliant his boyfriend is and the latest case he had solved. Like anyone with training and who cared about their job wouldn’t do as good as he does.
How much longer until his First Class mask starts slipping, and Hugh sees the real him?
But then again, how much longer does he wanna stay in a relationship and keep pretending? How much longer until Hugh finds out, and it all comes crashing down because he lied to him like this? That he used him in an attempt to make himself feel better by being in a relationship that he knew he had no right being in in the first place.
Every time you visit, I think I see a little more of myself, y’know.
“Sebastian?” Hugh asked, snapping him out of his spiralling and causing him to yelp a little.
It’s for the best. He probably should get away from those thoughts anyways. He could already feel his tears sting at the corner of his eyes.
“Y-Yeah? What’s up?”
“You’ve been spacey all evening. What’s up?”
“Nothing! There’s nothing to worry about!” he chuckled nervously, drawing his baton from his pocket to keep his hands busy. He doesn’t want to think about his hands right now. “I was just thinking about the movie, and about how it spoke to me.”
“The movie didn’t end, I just paused it.”
He flinched a little. That’s what he got for lying …
“I, uh… I’m aware . I’m just… thinking! Of all the themes and how powerful they are!” he said, trying to remember the last essays he had to write in school.
Probably not the best idea, given the fact that those were probably all flops that Pops had paid off so he’d get A’s.
Hugh kept staring at him, his expression still not changing. “You’re a terrible liar. Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but if you wanna talk, I’ll listen. No judgement... unless you ask.”
He was definitely right about the bad liar part. That was pretty indisputable. There was something about “No judgement” that felt like a trap. Probably thanks to having time to sit back and think about what his childhood was like, even though he knew the main factor of that wasn’t around anymore.
But even if Hugh was lying, and he was going to judge, Sebastian felt it was time. His hands fidgeted with the edges of his gloves. “You have to promise that none of this leaves this room, okay?”
Why he thought a promise would make him feel better was beyond him. Sebastian already knew that Hugh probably had his mind made up on how he was going to react.
“My lips are sealed.”
Sebastian took a deep breath, set down his baton, and pulled off his glove, turning his hand over to show off his scarred palm. “I just thought you should know about this. Seeing as how we’re dating and all. The other hand is about the same.”
There was silence, as Hugh gently took his hand and looked him over. Something about having him touch his bare hand like that made him feel so vulnerable. Like his soul was on display for him.
“I… These are… Is this why you wore gloves in high school?” Hugh asked, struggling to find words. His brow furrowed as he stared at his hand.
“Yeah, Pops always told me to say they were so I would get used to them for investigating crime scenes as not to leave fingerprints, but really it was so I wouldn’t embarrass myself, and him by extension.”
Hugh was quiet as he turned them, looking at the spots where some of the scars seemed to wrap around and lick the backs of his hands. When he spoke, his voice was low and accusatory. “What happened?”
“I was just being a dumb kid. It was like a few months away from graduating grade nine and moving on to Themis, and I saw a trick on tv that looked easy enough to do. I thought I figured it out, but…” he held up his hand. “...clearly I didn’t,” up until his trial, Sebastian wasn’t sure if he had seen his father seem more disappointed with him. Even now he still vividly remembered the car ride there and back. “Needless to say, my classmates didn’t see me hold fire.”
The silence returned as Hugh kept staring at them. No doubt reevaluating his choice in dating him.
“So I guess the moral of the story is I’m not the genius you claim I am.”
“You were a middle schooler. Since when are they the metric in which we judge how smart we are as adults?” Hugh said, moving Sebastian’s thumb to glide over a mark on the back of his hand. “I haven’t told you about this one, have I?”
Sebastian blinked, staring at it. “Isn’t it just a construction scar?” Hugh had a few of those. Something slips and he gets a little nick. It’s completely understandable.
Hugh shook his head. “I wish. Now I want you to keep in mind that I am, without a doubt, a genius while I tell you this story. Back in my graduating year, I was chosen to do the class trial. In my desperate need to come out on top and keep being the Golden Boy, I snuck into the art room where the scripts were being held. Turns out there was a dummy script, and said script was booby trapped. Sliced my hand open.”
Graduating year… The defense student he went up against wasn’t Hugh, was it? It was years ago, and Sebastian never really bothered knowing the names of anyone that weren’t particularly interesting.
“I... don’t remember any of that.”
“My… My second graduating year. The one I went back for,” Hugh winced.
Right, there was a reason why he took a break to do construction…
“Anyways, I was twenty-five and trying to cheat to look impressive to a bunch of high schoolers to try and validate some sort of pride. I’m not that man anymore, and I’m still holding onto my title of genius.”
“That is kinda stupid.”
“It was exceedingly stupid, but one dumb move does not an idiot make. I should know, I am a genius.”
Sebastian needed a moment to process that, because that was smart. Unsurprising, because just like he claimed, Hugh was a genius. He faced him in court, so he would know.
“So, you don’t think I’m an idiot for…” he gestured vaguely at his hand. “ ...This?”
“Of course not,” Hugh gently raised it up to his lips and kissed it. “It’s not the first time you’ve presented evidence that wasn’t as decisive as you initially thought.”
Getting his palm kissed was a little weird, but the sentiment behind it made his face burn to his ears and tears burn in his eyes.
“Thanks, Hugh.”
“My pleasure.”