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Third POV
————
What?
Where am I?
How am I-?
I should be dead...
So..is this Hell?
Snapping him out of his thoughts, a pale nurse with purple hair and a nurse's outfit walked in carrying a tray of bottles.
Yep, definitely Hell.
"G-Good morning O-Ouma! N-Nice to see you're f-finally awake," the nurse said quietly.
Her name tag read 'Nurse Mikan Tsumuki.'
"Awake? How am I awake? Shouldn't I be dead?" He questioned, while the nurse started shaking.
"A-Actually about t-that, you aren't d-dead. N-nobody is," Mikan shuddered.
"Then...what the hell was that about?!" Ouma started shouting a bit, unable to hold back his annoyance at the situation.
"P-please let m-me explain O-Ouma-kun! The k-killing game w-wasn't real. It was a s-simulation made for a p-popular TV show called D-Danganronpa," she shook.
"Danganronpa? What kind of sick game is this? Are you telling me I KILLED myself just to end a killing game that wasn't even real?!"
"A-AH! P-Please forgive m-me sir! I w-wish I could tell y-you but I was only told to c-care for you h-here!" Mikan cried.
Kokichi just sighed and laid back in his hospital bed.
"I'm sorry Dr. Tsumiki-san. I can't expect you to know everything," he apologized.
Since when do I apologize?
"It's o-okay, but I should tell y-you that you'll need t-to take these m-medications everyday for a-awhile," she set down the tray with a few pill bottles on it, accompanied by a water bottle.
"Do you r-remember your name a-and Ultimate Talent?" She asks.
"Kokichi Ouma, Ultimate Supreme Leader," he says nonchalantly.
"G-good, your memory hasn't been affected t-to much," she whispers.
"W-would you like t-to see the o-others Ouma?" She asked hesitantly. Kokichi flinched at the question.
"The others...?" He whispered.
"Yes, l-like Momota-kun, H-Harukawa-chan, Yumeno-chan, Amami-kun-"
"Where's Saihara?" He asked quickly before she could say any other meaningless names.
"You mean S-Shuichi Saihara?" Mikan asked.
"Yeah, where is he? Is he okay?!" Kokichi asked frantically.
"He's in s-stable condition since h-he was one of t-the few s-survivors of the killing g-game," she says, checking a computer off in the corner.
I guess all of our info is on there huh..
"Would you like to see him? I-It seems he was d-discharged from the h-hospital a w-week ago since he didn't n-need to recover from a-any injuries" She says.
There's no way I could face him after that train wreck. Killing myself for the sake of everybody else, practically killing Gonta and Miu for my own plan, the lying...
Oh god the lying.
"N-no, it's fine. When is the earliest I can leave?" He asked, stuttering over his words.
"Umm, w-well you've just n-now woken up, s-so it might b-be awhile since w-we need to run a few t-tests to make sure y-you're in good health. Y-You're death was one of t-the more complicated o-ones," she trembles.
"Fine, whatever," he grumbles and crosses his arms knowing there's no way to get out of this.
"W-would you like your m-memories?" She asked. Kokichi froze.
"My memories?"
"Y-yes. Before you were all p-put into the killing g-game, your real life m-memories were taken. I-if you get them back, I-it will combine with the p-personality given to you in t-the game, o-or you may not change a-at all," Mikan explains.
"I guess, let's give it a shot..." he hesitates and she brings in something that looked like a VR headset.
"A-are you sure Ouma? T-there is no going b-back once you see your m-memories-"
"I'm sure."
She puts the headset on him, making sure to avoid any wires or tubes attached to the boy.
Then she flipped on the switch, watching as Ouma was sucked into the past he had forgotten.
Kokichi's POV
———
Where am I?
That sounds familiar huh.
All of a sudden I woke up on a sidewalk. Something about it seemed really familiar to me. I was wearing my normal supreme leader clothes from the killing game.
I turned my head and looked up at a normal grey house beside the sidewalk.
This must have been my house.
I walked up to the door to open it, but my hand just slid through it.
What the hell?! Am I a ghost or something?
I hesitantly walked through the door and into the house. It reeked of alcohol and you could practically taste the vomit smell in the air. It made him gag.
There were a few glass shards on the ground and table, and dishes piled up in the kitchen sink.
Man, was I really this pathetic?
Then I heard faint sobbing upstairs.
I guess so.
Avoiding the shards of glass, I slowly walked up the spiral stairs and followed the sound of weeping. I pushed through the wooden door and saw a version of me sitting on the bed that made me instantly regret my decision of seeing my memories.
I was alone in my old room, watching as my past self wept with cuts on his arms. I reached up my sleeve and felt some of the scars. I never figured out how they got there when I was in the game, so I guess this is the reason.
I was wearing some black school uniform with bags under my eyes. A phone was sitting on the bed. I peeked over to look at the messages buzzing through. There were multiple from Anonymous saying horrible things. Past me just kept ignoring it.
"W-why am I l-like this?" The younger me started to whimper.
I couldn't take it anymore and ran down the stairs. Until I heard the door open.
"Ey, where are you ya useless fuck?!" A man yelled into the house as a worn out looking woman trailed in behind him.
That's...
...
Father...
Younger me came running down the stairs. No tears, no cuts, nothing showing anymore.
"Yes s-sir?" He stuttered.
"Get your ass over here and fix dinner or I'm kicking you out so fast not even the homeless will want you!" His booming laughter rang throughout the house.
"Y-yes sir," I rushed out and began cooking.
I can't take this, I want out of here.
"TSUMIKI-SAN! I WANT OUT PLEASE! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" I screamed and a white light flashed throughout my eyes.
I sat up in complete darkness until the nurse took off the headset.
"O-Ouma, are you o-okay?" She asked.
I felt that my face was wet.
I was crying?
"Do you know anything about my memories?" I asked her.
"N-No, these are for yourself and T-Team Danganronpa only," she said.
"You m-my not want t-to, but the rest of t-these memories will always be h-here if you want to s-see them," she says, setting the headset on a counter.
"I-I'll leave you to rest," she bows and walks out before I can protest with more questions.
Team Danganronpa.
My memories.
Father.
The others.
Shuichi...
Although I'm afraid to sleep, I end up passing out anyway before I can be interrupted any more.
--꧁♥︎꧂—
Shuichi's POV
———
"How is he?! How is he doing Nurse Tsumiki-san?" I asked as she walked out of Kokichi's room.
"Ah! Shuichi, y-you startled m-me!" She yelped. I took the nurse’s hand in mine to calm her.
"Please, just tell me, how is he?" I pleaded.
"He just woke u-up. I g-gave him his memories, but h-he stopped not even h-halfway through. H-he is in okay h-health, but will still need to b-be monitored in case something h-happens," she explains.
"Can I go see him?"
"I-I'm afraid when I brought up visitors, K-Kokichi didn't act like he wanted to t-talk to anybody right n-now. He's sleeping t-though anyways," she says.
He...doesn't wanna talk to any of us?
"Okay...thank you anyway. Can you tell me when he wakes up?" I ask her.
"O-of course," she smiles warmly at me before walking away.
I sit myself down in a hallway chair. I had just got done talking to Kaito and Maki, so I was extremely tired. I put my hat over my face and lay back in the small chair.
Now I just have to wait.
—꧁♥︎꧂—
"Saihara-kun? W-wake up," a timid voice told me as I was shook a little in the chair. Mikan was standing above me.
"I-I'm sorry! B-but you told m-me to inform you w-when Ouma wakes u-up!" She covers her face with her arms.
"It's okay, I'm not mad. Thank you for waking me," I say.
"When are visiting hours?" I ask her.
"R-right now actually," Mikan says.
"Can I see him now?" I ask. I can tell my eyes look desperate.
"Y-yes, but b-be careful. He still s-seems shaken up f-from yesterday," she notes.
"I will don't worry," I say, standing in front of his door.
Despite my nervousness, I slowly push open the door to Kokichi's room. He's facing towards the wall, so he can't see me.
"Ugh, what do you want now Mikan-" he turned himself around to face the doorway, only to be met with me standing there. His breath hitched. I take off my hat and hold it to my chest as he just stares at me. His beautiful purple irises looking back into mine. I couldn't find the Ouma I knew from the game. It was like he was a different person. He would usually make some kind of witty comment by now, but he just stared into me with a still face and open eyes.
Until I saw him force a smile and laugh.
"Nishishi~ has Saihara-chan come to visit little ol' me?" He gave me adorable puppy dog eyes, but I could tell it was all fake.
I walk over to him without saying a word. He just looked at me with a grin.
I pulled up a chair next to his hospital bed and he looked at me confused.
"Saihara-chan, what're you-" I pull him into a tight hug before he can finish. He just sat there confused.
"Please Kokichi, stop this facade. I want to see the real you, no lies right now," I whispered into his ear. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me and put his head on my shoulder.
Then I heard him start to sob. Not those crocodile tears he's teased us with time and time again, but real tears of pain and sadness. Like they had been hidden away for months, maybe even years. Years of pain and regret, all pouring into my shoulder.
"I'm s-sorry Shuichi," he whimpers between sobs.
"Shh, just stop talking. Take however long you need and then speak," I whisper. He gives a small nod before continuing to sob. The sound of his voice cracking alone was enough to break my heart and bring tears to my eyes.
Eventually I heard him start to sniffle and back away. If somebody saw Kokichi, you could definitely have seen he was crying. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, his face was stained with tears, he had dark bags under his eyes, and he looked awful.
But he still looks beautiful somehow.
"Saihara-chan, I-I'm sorry. T-the killing game I-"
"No, I should be the sorry one. I said you'd be alone forever. I was so, so wrong," I said quickly.
"No you weren't. I will be alone forever. And I can't change that now no matter what I do," he said looking down.
"Kokichi, did you mean your last words?"
"Huh?" He looked up at me confused.
"Kaito told us some of your last words before you died. Did you mean it when you said you were trying to save everybody?" I asked, genuinely curious. I had wondered if what he said was a lie ever since I heard it.
"It wasn't a lie," he says.
"Then why?! Why didn't you say something? Why did you lie all the time-"
"CAUSE I CAN'T HELP IT OKAY?!" He shouted.
I flinched back a bit, but he noticed and covered his face with his hands.
"I can't stop," he mumbles, barely audible.
"There's no need for a mask anymore Kokichi. We're free, there's no more killing. You don't need to lie," I say, grabbing his hands.
I notice faint scars on his arms but won't question it for now.
"I-I can't..." he cries.
We're both silent for a few moments. He seems very different from the last time I saw him. It seems like years ago was the last time I laid my eyes on the short purple haired boy.
Why am I even helping him?
He lied to us all the time.
He punched Kaito.
He basically got Gonta and Miu killed.
He made a plan to kill himself and convicted Kaito.
So why do I still love him?
"Did you see your memories?" He asks me quietly.
"Uh, yeah most of them. There were a lot of useless ones so I didn't finish," I honestly answered.
"What were you like? I can't believe you could be much different," he says.
"Aha, I'd rather not talk about that if you don't mind," I rub the back of my neck.
Yeah it was weird...
"It was that bad? What were you, a murderer?" He chuckles.
"N-no! Nothing like that!" I frantically deny his statement.
"Whatever you say Mr. Detective," he giggles. I smile just from seeing his amazing smile.
"I saw you there though," I say. He freezes up.
"You saw...me? What was I like to you?" He asks.
"I didn't see you until midway in the memories. We didn't seem like friends, but we weren't enemies either. At least I didn't think so. My past self would talk to you and you'd give small answers. That's about it," I remembered.
"You must have been a lot different," he says motioning to me.
"I guess so. If you watched more of your memories I bet you'd see me," I say encouraging him to continue viewing his memories. Although I didn't wanna pressure him, I didn't want Kokichi to be clueless about his past forever either.
"Yeah maybe," a chill goes up the boy's spine, possibly thinking about the memories he did view.
"Kokichi, do you mind telling me what happened in your memories? It's okay if you don't want to tell me," I say.
He doesn't say anything for a few minutes, but then speaks up.
"I was in my house, and I saw past me in what I assumed was my bedroom. Skipping over the details, let's just say I figured out how I got these scars nishishi! I looked like such a loser," he said, trying to keep up his happy and carefree persona.
I could figure out what he meant, considering where the scars were and the positions they were in. I gently took his hand and moved the covers from the hospital bed. I traced my fingers along the pale, healed scars as he held his breath. I brought his arm up, careful not to mess with the IVs and things in his arms, and I kissed his scars one by one.
I didn't peck all of them because there were too many, but I made a point to kiss a lot.
I looked up at him, and his face was bright red. He looked embarrassed and ashamed.
"You don't need to be ashamed Kokichi. It's okay, I'm here," I say. He starts to tear up again, and I wiped the tears under his eyes with my thumb. I cupped his face in my hands and he slowly leant in.
Am I seriously about to have my first kiss with my long time crush in a hospital after him waking up from a killing game simulator.
God I hope so.
I leant in closer and closed the gap between our lips. He brought his hands to the back of my head and tangled them in my navy blue hair, pulling me closer to him. I could faintly taste the salty tears from his face but tried not to think too much of it.
It was better than I could've imagined.
He pulled away after some time, our faces were completely red. He cleared his throat awkwardly and I just kinda sat there.
"So, uh....what now?" He asks.
"I love you Kokichi Ouma," I blurt out. He whips his head to face me and my face turns even redder.
"W-wait I didn't mean t-to say that I-"
"I-I love you too," he says smiling softly.
There's no lie or deceit in his quiet voice. Just Kokichi Ouma. The boy I fell in love with.
"I want to watch the rest of my memories," he says finally.
"A-Are you sure? You don't have to if you don't want to," I say. I'm not sure if he can handle it yet after what he just told me.
"Well, it's better to get it done and over with. Besides, I wanna know what my beloved Shumai was like before the game," he grins. I get nervous about him seeing me...like that. But I call Mikan to our room anyway.
She puts on the headset and leaves the room to give us privacy.
I watch as he looks through the VR set at his memories. Sometimes he'll squirm a bit or shake, and I'll just squeeze his hand tighter to let him know I'm here. He seemed to relax whenever I did that. When all of his important memories are done playing, the headset automatically shuts down and he pulls it off. I grab it and set it on the table beside his bed.
When I turn back, he just gives me the most smug grin I've ever seen in my life.
"I didn't know my Shuichi was such a pervert before~" he coos.
I blush and hide my face in my hands, shaking my head.
"Now I see why you didn't want to tell me before! It's okay if you were desperate to get in my pants Shumai! I know you're not all like that anymore," he says. I turn even more red than before and he laughs. Not his signature giggle, an actual laugh.
"You made it soooo obvious you liked me though! I don't know how past me didn't realize-" I just cut him off with another kiss. He smiles and pulls me closer.
"When I get out of this hospital, can I live with you?" He asks.
"W-What?! Isn't that a little sudden?" I say.
"Maybe, but I can't go home and I don't have anywhere else to go!" He pouts.
"Of course you can stay with me. I'll probably get another place anyway with the survivor money I got," I said.
"Survivor money? You got money from Danganronpa?"
"Yeah. They didn't wanna give it to me since I kinda messed up their show, but that was the deal apparently. Survive til the end and get a bunch of money," I say.
"Well I'm glad you survived then. Even if I wasn't there to see it," he says sadly.
"But you're still here now. And we have the rest of our lives to-"
"-get frisky~"
"Yeah and- WAIT NO THATS NOT WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY!" I yelled.
"Neeheehee, I know Saihara-chan! I just wanted to tease you a bit~" he laughs.
"Anyway, we have the rest of our lives to live together and I can love you for the rest of my life," I smile.
He blushes and looks away.
"S-Shuichi stop with all that lovey dovey crap, you sound so cheesy," he chuckles. I plant a kiss on his forehead and his blush deepens.
"Can you...stay here tonight? I don't wanna be alone," he says. Hearing that almost tears my heart to shreds.
I can't believe I said that to him.
"Of course I'll stay with you," I say and he pulls back the covers for me to get in. I slowly climb into his bed and he scoots over so I can lay down.
I flip off the light switch by the bed and he lays his head on my chest.
"Shuichi, I don't want to go to sleep. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up back in that dorm room. I don't want this to all be a dream," he shakes a bit and I hear his voice start to break. I run my hand through his purple hair and tilt his head up to face me a bit.
"Shh, you don't wake up there. I'm here and I'm not leaving, I promise. But you need sleep Kichi," I say and kiss him.
He nods and blushes at the nickname as starts to drift to sleep on my chest. His shaky breaths now becoming deep and hollow.
He looks so peaceful.
So beautiful.
"I promise, you won't have to worry about that ever again Kokichi," I mumble and yawn sitting back on the bed.
Listening to the soft sounds of Kokichi's breathing, I fall asleep in his hospital bed. The love of my life in my arms.