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“You should have drawn nudes of Zoro and sold them, I’m sure many people would pay a lot for a drawing of that body.”
Sanji whipped his head around to Usopp and lunged his leg out to kick the man. The physics teacher jumped back immediately, and Sanji was too lazy to get up so he just huffed, ignoring the relieved look in Usopp’s eyes.
“Shut up, Usopp. There are kids around,” the blond admonished, even though none of the students were too close to the table he was sitting at; they were still at the food stand, eating snacks before their sidewalk sale would officially start.
“Where is that stupid moss-head anyway?” Sanji muttered, looking around but not spotting his boyfriend anywhere. Zoro never told him what he and his students would be doing to raise money for a school trip, Sanji had assumed it was because the PE teacher didn’t have a plan but he didn’t want his help either, so the blond had just always shrugged it off.
He was ready to fight his boyfriend if he was skipping the initiative altogether, though.
One day Luffy, principal of East Blue High, paraded into the teacher's lounge, declaring loudly that it was time for a school trip.
Now, of course, the school had planned school trips for every class now and then, but, as Luffy claimed, they were boring and way too educational. The young principal wanted a fun trip for all the students with only amusement parks, bonfires and songs, and a big barbecue!
It had taken quite some time for Nami to convince Luffy that that wasn't possible, because one, it would waste too much time for the teachers who had to stick to the curriculum and have enough grades from every student. Another reason was that they didn't have enough money. The state would never grant a random school trip like that and fund it, but the parents of the students couldn't be asked either since there would be enough that would complain about the necessity of such a trip.
Luffy had just said that they would do the trip anyway and get the money themselves.
A street sale it was, then.
The principal had ordered every teacher to think of ways to raise money for the trip, and the students could sign in lists to decide in which group they wanted to help.
Usopp had prepared a few exciting experiments for children to try with supervision for a small price. If the parents wanted, they could get a scientific explanation for the phenomenons.
The biology teacher, Chopper, offered quick first aid lessons for everyone, and people could give donations if they wanted. Brook, the new music teacher at East Blue High, went around town with some musical students, singing songs and playing the guitar, collecting donations as well.
Robin, the school's history teacher, sold cookies from all over the world - from fortune cookies to Ube crinkles to almond biscotti (Sanji had spent an enormous amount in the kitchen the night before, much to Zoro's chagrin).
Nami, math teacher, didn't participate in the money-raising but offered to check the finances afterward and plan the school trip (Zoro was the only one to voice his concern about some money going missing after Nami would check it, but after a harsh smack from both the math teacher and his boyfriend he had kept quiet.) Franky, the school's new super janitor had handled all the stands they had needed outside.
There were more teachers and more stands and programs to raise money, but those were the ones Sanji cared about most as the other teachers and Franky were all his friends.
The only thing he didn't know was what his own boyfriend was doing to get money, and he kept looking around, trying to find him.
"Looking for someone, curly?"
The sound of that voice sent a wave of annoyance and another one of affection through the blond art teacher. He got up and turned around to greet his boyfriend when he took in the green-haired man. His eyes widened drastically.
Zoro was wearing bright red booty shorts which accentuated the muscular thighs as well as the rock-hard abs. Sanji did not want to know if the shorts would also accentuate his ass if he turned around.
The man was also wearing a shirt but he might as well have just walked around without one; it was a crop top without sleeves which was working really hard to cover the man's obscene pecs.
Sanji could only gape at his boyfriend.
"Uh-oh, did your stupid brain finally cut out?"
The blond ignored the insult but his eyes snapped up to the PE teacher's face.
"What the fuck are you wearing?! Are you giving lapdances to raise money?!"
"Nah, I-"
Sanji didn't let his boyfriend explain as another thought entered his mind and he frantically looked around.
"Are your students dressed like that, too? Zoro, you're going to go to jail!"
Zoro had stepped closer to Sanji, so close that he could wind his arms around the blond's waist, pulling him close. Sanji was still looking for children in hopefully more clothing than that when warm lips were suddenly pressed against his own.
The art teacher was confused, and a little mad, so he put his hands to Zoro's chest to push him away, but Zoro was only wearing that poor excuse of a shirt and the blond's hands found warm, firm muscle, and he was still getting kissed so he surrendered for the moment.
"There are kids around!" Usopp parroted from a safe distance, probably scared of Sanji and Zoro's wrath. Zoro finally pulled back though, grinning at the blond.
"Don't look at me like that, you pervert," Sanji reprimanded, sweeping his hands over his suit to smooth it out. "Now tell me, what the fuck are you doing, and why are you walking around dressed like a- like that?"
Zoro's grin turned into a dangerous smile and he stepped closer to Sanji again.
"Dressed like what?" he whispered in the blond's ear, "Like a slut? Am I daddy's dirty slut?" He didn't crowd his body against that of the other man, but Zoro did whimper lewdly in Sanji's ear, and that was enough.
"NO!" the blond suddenly yelled at the top of his lungs, raising his head to the sky. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and let it out through his nose. He did that a couple of times, banning the look he knew Zoro had on his stupid face from his mind. When he had processed what had just happened, he looked at his boyfriend.
"If you get a boner in that," Sanji motioned at the red shorts, "your dick will literally be out with no place to hide." He pecked Zoro on the cheek before he calmly walked away to his students to tell them to prepare for the sale. He thought that he did a pretty decent job, considering that he was the one 'another word from his boyfriend' away from popping a boner at this function. He would leave the infuriating man behind himself, for the time being, he could always beat him up at home.
~
"Carl, what the hell? What happened to you?" Sanji looked at his student, soaking wet. He quickly got up and put a hand on the boy's shoulder, effectively keeping him from sitting down at the table and ruining the artworks with his wetness. When Carl stood still, Sanji took his hand away and found it feeling soapy and smelling like some kind of detergent. Once again, what the hell?
"I was at Mr. Roronoa's 'stand', and we had a water hose fight," the boy explained, shrugging and pulling at his shirt in an attempt to get the sticky thing from his body. Sanji put his hand again on the boy's shoulder, not wanting the kid to walk around half-naked. He was sure the school was going to get enough complaints about Zoro's outfit anyway.
"Keep the shirt on. What exactly is Mr. Roronoa doing at his stand?" Sanji inquired since earlier he had been too mad (and a little too horny) to find out what way Zoro raised money with his students. He just knew that his boyfriend didn't have his stand on the same street as most of the teachers.
"They're washing cars. Can you please let go of me, some woman is looking at my painting, I need to persuade her to buy it," Carl said, looking pointedly at the hand Sanji still had clamped on his shoulder. The teacher cast a glance at the stand and there really was a lady holding one of the paintings, a pensive look on her face.
Before letting the boy go, Sanji asked him where Zoro and his students were washing cars, and Carl told him they were doing it in the school's parking lot. Sanji set out to investigate.
There was a huge sign in the parking lot saying, "CAR WASH ONLY 10$ FOR GOOD CAUSE" with big arrows pointing to where Zoro and his students were. Sanji scoffed at the sign but he hadn't spotted his boyfriend yet.
There were countless buckets filled with mops and sponges standing around, a couple of water hoses here and there. A car was just being washed by a couple of students (all of them dressed appropriately, thank god), and music was playing, the kids singing loudly to the pop songs.
When Sanji walked around the car, he was surprised to find another two vehicles that got cleaned. No way so many people really wanted high schoolers to wash their cars. The blond looked around until he finally spotted Zoro - sitting on a camp-chair, absorbed by something on his phone, bobbing his head lightly to the music.
"Oi, marimo, why aren't you helping your students?" he yelled out, catching his boyfriend's attention who put his phone on a little table beside him since he had no pockets in his clothes for that, and got up.
Sanji walked towards him and was pulled into a tight hug. Sanji took too long to feel the wetness seeping through his suit and reaching his skin. He violently shoved Zoro away from him, looking down at his ruined suit. He groaned in annoyance, and judging by the grin on Zoro's face, the green-haired man was having way too much fun today.
"I made a deal with'em. I wear this, and don't have to work," Zoro explained, motioning at his outfit.
"Don't tell me you were the one suggesting that shitty deal," Sanji hoped that his boyfriend wasn't really so lazy that he would voluntarily wear such obscene clothes in front of his students.
"Curly," Zoro put his hand over the opposite of where his heart was on his chest, "What do you think of me? No, it was them. They picked out the outfit, too, if you're wondering."
Sanji shook his head, "You should really get a better sense of what's appropriate and what's not. I'm glad that at least all the kids are fully dressed. There doesn't seem to be a girl with only a bikini."
"Of course not, I forbade them wearing similar clothes to me," Zoro reassured, then winked at his boyfriend, "Only I am allowed to look that hot today."
Sanji rolled his eyes. He knew Zoro had impeccable self-confidence but he also knew that the PE teacher forbade the students to dress like that because he did feel responsibility and wanted to protect them from sleazy men. Sanji could only appreciate that; men were disgusting creatures after all.
"Sure, keep telling yourself that. Showing your tits can't compensate for your stupidity, you know," Sanji muttered, looking unimpressed as Zoro grabbed one of the mops, wielding it towards him like a sword.
"What did you just say, curly?!"
Sanji kicked the mop out of Zoro's grip with ease.
"I gotta go back to my stand. The people love my paintings. I'm sure I could bump up the prices and they'd still buy it," the blond exaggeratedly said with a wave of his hand, about to turn around when Zoro quickly grabbed his wrist.
"Pride goes before a fall," the man said, before grinning. "I'm pretty sure I'm making more money with my hot outfit."
Sanji slapped Zoro's chest furiously.
"Your outfit doesn't contribute anything to the moneymaking, idiot!"
"Uh-uh. Wanna bet who makes more money?" Sanji knew that it was a deal he would probably lose because there was car after car coming into the parking lot. Still, he found himself nodding in agreement.
"If I win, you have to dress like this for a week," at Sanji's scandalized look, Zoro added, "at home. If you win, you can draw me like this."
The art teacher let his eyes roam his boyfriend, and he really didn't want to walk around like that, but damn he wanted to draw that version of Zoro. Maybe even in a compromising pose or on his knees, pupils blown wide, mouth open.
He couldn't prevent the blush when he caught himself lost in these thoughts. To at least prevent Zoro's teasing, he turned away and started going back to his own stand. He had prices to bump up.
"Hey, pervert!" Zoro yelled after him, and Sanji groaned internally before looking back, hoping his face looked as annoyed as he pretended to feel.
"What?"
"You can come by later with your car if you want. I'll make sure you get an extra thorough wash." The words, the man's wink, and the way his nipple became visible when he put an arm behind his head and stretched a little, almost had Sanji screaming in frustration. He pulled himself together only by biting his tongue, flipping the green-haired man off before storming off and escaping the hell that the school parking lot embodied.
When he got back to the art stand, Carl pointed at his wet front, grinning.
"Oh, Mr. Sanji, did you have a hose fight as well?"
The art teacher sighed in defeat.
~
Nearing the evening, most stands began to clear up, some groups decided to go around town, like the history group with their cookies, trying to sell the rest of their stuff.
The students were generally dismissed to go home but some still stayed to help out or try to convince some people who were on their way home from work to learn how to resuscitate a person.
Sanji's art stand was still standing but most of the students had gone home already. Sanji didn't mind, especially because he could listen to Nami collecting the money happily.
"Mr. Sanji, I think I'll go home, too," a soft voice next to him said, and the teacher looked to the girl. It was Lori, a kind but shy girl. Sanji noticed that she looked pretty tired and discouraged. He looked to the table where a few drawings remained, and he realized that none of her colorful paintings have been bought. He immediately understood the girl's hurt, and he mustered a soft smile.
"Sure? If you want, I'll wait a little longer with you," he offered, not knowing if that was a smart decision. Fewer and fewer people stopped by their stands now that it has gotten later.
Lori sighed but shrugged, sitting down on her chair again. She put her head in her palm, sighing again.
"I should have signed up for another group," she muttered, and Sanji was thinking whether to reassure her about her paintings or to play hurt by her declaration. In the end, he didn't get the chance to do either.
"Are these still up for sale?"
Zoro, still in his ridiculous outfit, pointed at the papers on the table.
"Yeah," Lori said, and Sanji smiled a little when he observed the looks of immense confusion (and appreciation?!) on her face at seeing the PE teacher and his outfit.
The green-haired man looked at all the drawings for a pretty long time. Sanji leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest and observing him.
"Hmm," Zoro hummed, while he took one of Lori's paintings, holding it closer to his face and looking at it thoughtfully. He put it down and picked up another one. Sanji felt a smile crawling up to his lips, changing into a grin when the muscular man hummed again.
In the end, he picked up the first of Lori's paintings again, pulling a few bills from the band of his pants, and Sanji cringed at that.
"I'll buy this," he declared, slamming the bank bills on the table. Lori straightened up but Sanji saw her looking suspiciously at the green-haired teacher.
"You don't have to do this because you pity me, Mr. Zoro. I don't care if nobody liked my paintings," the girl said defiantly, but Sanji was pretty sure that Zoro didn't believe her. Of course, it would be crushing if nobody wanted to buy your stuff when all the other drawings were sold.
Zoro huffed.
"What do you mean pity? You think I know your painting style and which of those is yours? I substituted art class once. The only time I would bring personal feelings into this would be if it were one of his paintings," he nodded towards Sanji, "'Cause no way in hell I would spend money for one of his dumbass paintings."
"Shut the fuck up, asshole," Sanji said threateningly, getting up from his chair and balling his fists.
"Okay. That's too much, though," Lori said softly, taking only the money that was required for the painting.
"Whatever, it's for the school anyway," Zoro waved his hand dismissively, before looking to Sanji, "Don't think that it'll make you win the bet. I'm way ahead of you." With that, and with Lori's painting, the green-haired teacher stepped away, probably going back to his parking lot.
A few minutes later, he got a text from his boyfriend reminding him to not forget his carwash. Sanji rolled his eyes and replied 'yes yes'. He turned to Lori again.
"Do you wanna start cleaning up?"
She shook her head, "I would like to wait for another... ten minutes or so, if that's okay."
"Sure," Sanji couldn't say no to the hopeful look in her eyes, "I'll go get something to eat from the food stand."
The food stand was the only one still fully working and selling, as they surely made the most profit for the day. He bought two sandwiches and two bottles of water before returning to Lori.
They spent some more minutes like that; eating their sandwiches while all the other groups were cleaning up, kids and teachers were going home, and Franky disassembled the stands.
At some point, Sanji was pretty bored and felt ready to go home. Barely any people were walking by and if they did, then they surely paid no mind to a table with three drawings on it. Sanji forced himself to wait another few minutes.
He saw that Lori was rubbing her arms to warm herself up, ha, Sanji hoped that Zoro was freezing, and asked, "Hey, I think we should gather our things, too. Do you need a ride home?"
The girl shrugged. If her parents could pick her up, she surely would have taken out her phone to text them, so Sanji got up, grabbing his things as well as the remaining paintings, motioning for the girl to follow him.
"Come on."
They went to the parking lot where Sanji's car was parked, and the blond saw that all the PE kids had cleaned up too, the sign now pointing to an empty parking lot. Sanji also couldn't see his boyfriend and he texted him that he was there before getting in the car. Lori got in on the passenger side.
Waiting for the moss-head who had surely gotten lost, Sanji turned to the student, "You know, it's not too bad that your paintings weren't sold. Just means that they don't know the true worth of your art."
Lori rolled her eyes at him before looking down sheepishly, probably realizing that she was talking to her teacher.
"Yeah, whatever, I'm over it. I won't change my art style because of this," she declared confidently and Sanji couldn't help but feel proud. He hadn't estimated the girl to be so confident now when she had been rather close to crying earlier on.
"What are we waiting for, by the way?" she wanted to know, as Sanji still hadn't started the car. The blond looked around, spotting a man standing where the other cars had been getting cleaned all day.
"That moron," he just said before he started the car and drove towards the man which proved to be Zoro. He stopped when Zoro stretched out his hand. Sanji sighed at whatever was going on when his boyfriend appeared at the side of his window, grinning at him.
That was when the horror began.
Zoro wiped a soaked sponge over the window, winking at him before wringing the sponge out over himself, getting his crop top and his chest all wet. Sanji would have reacted quicker, really, but the fact that Zoro was drawing a heart into the water on his window with his finger, and the other fact that Lori was in the car had the blond completely paralyzed. Not a single muscle in his body would move, his eyes wouldn't close from how wide they were opened.
Zoro was leaning against the door, probably washing the hood, so that his stomach was pressed against the window, his happy trail streaked with little soap bubbles.
The man leaned back again and brought a hand up to his pecs, creeping underneath the short shirt to pinch his nipple and tug at it. Only when Sanji saw the obscene, and to be honest very fucking hot, look on his boyfriend's face, he was able to react.
Suddenly all his muscles worked again and he grabbed the door handle, pushing the car's door open as quick and hard as possible.
"DO YOU HAVE NO DIGNITY AT ALL!" he screamed, just watching as Zoro tumbled to the ground because of the collision with the door, holding his hand up to his face.
"What the actual fuck! What's wrong with you!" Zoro exclaimed, still on the ground, his face scrunched up in pain.
"Oh my god, Mr. Zoro! Are you okay?" Lori had gotten out of the car and squatted down to Zoro, reaching out for his face but pulling her hand back when the man was looking at her bewildered.
"Where did you come from?" he asked, shocked.
"She was in the car all along!" Sanji yelled, wiping his hand over his face before stretching that out to help Zoro up.
"Oh god!" Lori shouted when she saw Zoro's bloody face. The PE teacher wiped his hand under his nose which was bleeding profusely. He looked at his hand in disgust before tilting his head back.
"You both get into the car. Lori in the passenger seat," the blond ordered, not looking at either of them. He picked up the sponge and the bucket that was standing around, putting them both to the side of the parking lot so they wouldn't impede anyone tomorrow morning.
After that, he got back in the driver's seat, starting the car again, and asking where Lori lived.
They drove in silence until Zoro spoke up, "You know, I had hoped you'd be the one with a nosebleed... But for a different reason."
Sanji's foot was over the brake, on the brink of stomping down so hard that Zoro would actually break his stupid nose from flying forward. He saw Lori in the corner of his eyes, and heard her snicker to his horror, and put his foot away. He would gladly take responsibility for Zoro's death but more than that he really couldn't answer for.
When he finally got to Lori's house, the girl thanked him for the ride, and Zoro for buying her painting. She then said goodbye, and when she was out of the car, she waved at both of them before entering her house.
"Can I sit in the passenger seat?" Zoro asked from the back of the car when they were still standing.
"You're such an incredible idiot, I don't fucking know why I like you so much," Sanji sighed, putting his head against the steering wheel.
"I'll take that as a yes." The smile in Zoro's voice was clear, and then he was sitting next to Sanji. He took one of the blond's hands, pulling them to his mouth and pressing a few kisses to his knuckles.
"Is your nose okay?" Sanji looked at his boyfriend, anger, and annoyance easily giving way to worry.
"Yeah."
"Did you hear that nobody had bought Lori's paintings and bought one out of pity?"
"Yeah," Zoro admitted quietly, intertwining their fingers gently.
"Thank you."
The green-haired teacher laughed softly, kissing the tender hand a couple more times before letting it go.
"Come on, get us home. I've got a painting to hang up, and you've got to make me some dinner. I've been working real hard all day."
Just like that any remaining worry, madness, irritation, any bad feelings really, dissipated. Sanji looked over to his boyfriend who was smiling softly at him, and the blond just nodded before he put a hand to Zoro's face, pulling the man softly in for a kiss.
After the kiss that seemed to manifest all the good feelings that the art teacher felt, he finally drove them home.