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Something is ringing. It is loud and it is persistently annoying. Katsuki slams his hand on the side table, hard, the impact breaking one leg with the wood chipping out.
The ringing still doesn't stop and Katsuki presses his ear into the pillow digging his nails on the soft mattress of his bed.
It had only been an hour since he'd finally fallen asleep and some shitty asshole is calling him right now. He isn't going to pick up though. Not at all. Now only if they'd take the hint and stopping fucking calling him already.
Another three rings and his phone goes silent. Katsuki sighs in relief, loosening his grip on the pillow and relaxing his muscles. Sleep embraces him once again.
~~~
Katsuki wakes up a little after 7 am the next morning. After completing his daily routine, he idly scrolls through social media on his phone.
Remembering last night's events, he goes to his call history to check which idiot had the audacity to try and disrupt his peace.
A name pops up.
Deku.
He'd only called him 2 times last night yet the irrational amount of anger Katsuki feels at him is alarming.
That garbage of a human never leaves him alone. What does the nerd think he's doing? Calling him in the middle of the night like he'd be at deku's beck and call?
He stuffs his phone in his backpack aggressively and leaves.
Not once does he notice how peculiar it is for deku to call him when deku hadn't done so in years.
~~~
Katsuki sits at his usual place, feet planted confidently on his desk as his teacher drones on and on about some boring topic. It's history class, and that's decidedly one of the subjects that Katsuki hates from the very core of his being (not that hating on most stuff isn't a norm for him anyway).
There's a hesitant knock at the classroom door and everyone turns towards it to see who is so late to class today. Katsuki glances at the entrance too, mostly out of boredom than any real curiosity.
Standing there is deku, that shitty fucker with his shoulders hunched and gaze towards the floor. He's gripping his stupid backpack tightly waiting for their teacher's reaction.
Katsuki hadn't realized that the piece of crap was running late, it is unusual for deku.
Their teacher's mood sours and he begins speaking in a chastising tone, "Midoriya, you're an hour late. What do you have to say for yourself? And look at your uniform! It's an utter mess!" The teacher clicks his tongue in annoyance, waiting for an answer.
True to his teacher's words, Katsuki notices deku's disheveled appearance. His uniform is unironed and dirty, his hair is a greater mess than Katsuki's ever seen it look like and his shoe laces are haphazardly tied. Overall, the nerd looks like utter shit.
On top of it, Midoriya is trembling a bit and bending his chin so deep that it's almost piercing through his chest.
Katsuki can't bring himself to care though. Deku has always been a coward and he figures that the useless shit woke up late and is now playing the role of a scared kitten to get out of his difficult situation.
In the corner of his mind, a memory of Katsuki running late last week flashes involuntarily. He remembers coming directly during the second lecture, without a note and his teacher smiling at him, asking if something was wrong. Nothing was though. The old hag had burnt his breakfast and then after a verbal fight, he'd had to buy food from outside.
His teacher hadn't reprimanded him then.
"-riya! Say something!" The teacher's booming voice cuts through Katsuki's inner thoughts. Deku is still standing by the door, shifting nervously on his feet.
When he looks up, Katsuki feels his skin crawl and an unwelcome feeling settles in his chest. Deku's eyes are bloodshot and there are big, almost painful-looking eye bags highlighting the fact that the loser hadn't slept properly. He's trying to smile sheepishly but his lips are trembling.
"S-sorry sensei. I overslept. Won't h-happen again." Deku says in a small voice.
The teacher throws him a dirty look and orders him to go take a seat and not waste any more of his peers' time. Deku apologizes once again and takes his usual spot at the very back, where weak fucks like him always sit.
Katsuki grits his teeth but he doesn't know what's got him so angry.
Why did that shitty nerd look so down?
Why the fuck did he come in late?
Because Katsuki knows that he hadn't overslept, anyone could see how sleep-deprived that dumbass looks clearly.
By now, the nerd should've started his incessant muttering while taking down notes. But when no mumbling reaches his ears, Katsuki turns towards deku and finds him staring at his fisted hands blankly.
Something was really wrong with deku but Katsuki doesn't care one bit about it.
What happens to that dumbfuck is his own business, he can deal with it alone.
~~~
It's the next lecture and his teacher is saying something about careers but Katsuki isn't listening.
His class suddenly cheers, each student activating their quirk and showing off their ability openly.
His teacher makes a remark about them all becoming heroes and a violent urge to stand above them all makes itself known to Katsuki.
"Shut up!" Katsuki growls, "Don't lump me in with these shitty extras. They'll all end in some low-level agencies as forgotten sidekicks while I'll become the best hero ever!"
A cry of outrage breaks as his classmates show their displeasure against what he said. He shoots them all a murderous look and they all quieten down.
His teacher chuckles as if this was funny and nods his head, "Absolutely. With your test scores and powerful quirk, you might as well get into U.A itself."
Something akin to pride blooms within Katsuki's chest and a smug smirk takes refuge on his face.
His teacher looks at deku who isn't even paying attention to what's happening. Instead his eyes are unfocused and unseeing directed at the folded hands in his lap.
"Ah! Midoriya! Aren't you applying to U.A too?"
Katsuki's eyes narrow at the loser and he feels rage bubble inside him. That weak, pathetic, quirkless deku is trying to one up him. He's trying to look down on him, and he thinks he'll actually get into U.A?
Before he can stop himself, Katsuki's fired up palm bangs loudly on deku's desk, effectively startling the boy. Deku falls off his chair and the momentary surprise turns into recognition of what's going on.
Katsuki expects fear, or nervous defiance but instead all he gets is surrender. Deku isn't even interested in the encounter. He's just sitting there staring at Katsuki waiting for the blond to do whatever he wants to.
Annoyed by his weird behaviour, Katsuki kicks deku's desk and returns to his seat.
His teacher doesn't say anything and moves on.
~~~
Katsuki sees that with each lecture, deku collapses in on himself.
He hasn't raised his hand to answer any questions like he normally does (the fact that no teacher ever picks him is another matter entirely), he hasn't eaten his lunch, he hasn't even opened his lame notebook to write about heroes.
He's just sitting there, looking out the window with a vacant expression and fidgeting with his uniform every now and then. He seems both on the verge of tears and just a hair's breadth away from total resignation.
It's odd. Seeing that fucking nerd so quiet and withdrawn.
Katsuki should be happy by all means. He's been trying to snuff out the flames of the green haired boy for years now. Bullying him was something normal, something routine in Katsuki's middle school life. It was all for showing deku how far beneath Katsuki he really was. That deku could never be at the same level as Katsuki. And yet.
And yet, this all feels hollow. Katsuki's chest tightens when he sees deku so sullen and so defeated but he stops himself from going up and checking on the weakling.
He convinces himself that nothing has happened to deku, that he's fine, he's just having his crybaby tantrum for no reason.
~~~
School ends, and Katsuki's friends (or lackeys) walk up to him, grinning already in anticipation of how Katsuki would crush the little pest, that deku was, today.
The blond doesn't feel upto it though. Something is stopping him from being nasty and he's still fucking mad at deku for existing, for looking down at him at every turn in their short lives, but he stops from going and snatching the loser's backpack and making him cower before himself today.
Instead, he watches silently as deku walks out the classroom, slowly and quietly. Almost reluctantly.
With a jolt, Katsuki realizes that this is the first time that that damn deku hasn't said a single word in school.
It shouldn't bother him as much as it does.
~~~
Katsuki tugs on his hair in frustration as he stands at a literal crossroad.
One way takes him straight to his house and the other is way towards deku's home.
He doesn't know what made him stop here or what made him think that he should check up on deku but here he is anyway.
After waiting for a minute and not getting any answers, Katsuki kicks a stone and starts in the direction of where he knows deku lives.
He'll just take a quick peek and see deku talking with his mother or something and then he'll get the fuck out of there.
~~~
Katsuki feels nervous as his hand hovers around deku's door. Initially, his plan wasn't to go inside or make his presence known. But the windows from outside were all curtained and he couldn't know for certain what was going on inside.
Besides, the house was eerily silent. Katsuki remembers there being a constant commotion when he visited deku when they were young. Katsuki remembers his mother's home-baked cookies and his father's strict gaze as he supervised their pretend fights.
(And even though Katsuki knows that deku's dad had left his family and even though he knows deku isn't the cheerful, loud, happy kid anymore, he still feels irked that things have changed so drastically and he's only witnessing them now.)
Katsuki takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell.
No one comes to open the door.
Katsuki expects Mrs. Midoriya (because calling her Aunty Inko doesn't seem fair, not with how he treats deku now) but there's no shuffling on the opposite side of the door.
His patience is waning and only thin as a thread and all this waiting is making him irritable. He just wants to see deku's dumb face, know he's home and safe and then return to his own house.
He rings the doorbell again. And again. And again.
He knows he should stop and calm himself down. He can't appear like an untamed animal before someone's parent. Especially not deku's. But something deep down is making him worry, making him feel things he can't quite put a name on.
Finally, he hears something being knocked down and hears footsteps coming from inside. He retracts his hand and puts them in his pockets, applying the usual scowl to his face.
The doorknob twists open but the door isn't pulled inwards.
What the fuck?
Katsuki waits for someone from the other end to officially invite him inside but the opening of the lock is all that the person is willing to do.
Just after a moment of indecision, Katsuki pushes the door open and his eyes land on deku's slowly retreating back. He looks tired and like a ghost in his dimly lit home. There's only one light on at the opposite end of the living room where deku goes and sits directly on the floor. Deku has yet to acknowledge his presence.
His mother isn't home, Katsuki guesses that she's out working, she's a single mother afterall.
He doesn't bother to make his approach silent and the wood creaks loudly with each step he takes. Stopping just behind deku, he calls out,
"Oi! What the fuck is wrong with you?"
He gets no reply and Katsuki wonders why he hasn't left yet. He's seen that deku is alive and he's home so there's no reason for him to stick around.
But even though deku is alive, he's clearly not well. And that doesn't sit right with Katsuki. He wants to know why.
He settles across from deku and glares at him.
"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's up with you. You look like shit and you've been off the whole day."
Deku looks up then, and there's only a flicker of recognition in his eyes. The rest seems like despair and....sorrow. Katsuki takes a breath. He wasn't ready to look into those vibrant green eyes look anything but vibrant.
Katsuki removes his backpack and throws it onto a couch some steps away from where they were sitting. He's distracting himself he knows this. Deku isn't talking and Katsuki isn't sure that he wants to start a conversation with him. It's more like he doesn't know how to.
Luckily, deku seems to be getting some semblance of reality back and he asks,
"Why are you here kacchan?" Deku's voice is hoarse and Katsuki bets all his money that it's due to crying (and loudly sobbing). Nevertheless, Katsuki feels a bit agitated at being interrogated when he had come here to do all the asking.
"To see if you were dead or not." Katsuki scoffs but both boys know it's forced, "besides, wanted to know why the fuck did you call me last night. You think you get to disturb my sleep and not get your ass kicked?"
Deku smiles at him but it's sad. He looks lost and his eyes are definitely tearing up a little.
"What the fuck deku? Why are you crying?" Katsuki asks, knowing he hasn't said anything upsetting, atleast not right now.
Deku shakes his head and hastily wipes off the few tears with his sleeve. "N-nothing."
Katsuki bites his tongue from not yelling at the nerd. He knows this situation is much deeper than it seems. Something is definitely bothering deku. And it's something big.
"Did those asshole seniors do something to you?"
Katsuki knows he's being a big hypocrite while asking this question, because just like those seniors, he's bullied deku too. But he doesn't care, if deku is so....so broken by whatever those seniors did, he'll find them and tear them apart.
Katsuki doesn't question why he'd feel offended on behalf of deku.
Deku shakes his head and shuts his eyes. "No. Not them."
"Then what? Who? Tell me goddamnit! What happened?!" And really, this isn't the time for his outbursts but Katsuki can't help it. This is getting on his nerves.
Deku opens his eyes and smiles at him again. When he speaks, his eyes are devoid of emotions but his nose is twitching and hands are shaking so Katsuki knows it's taking a toll on deku.
"Kacchan. Ye-yesterday," deku takes a deep breath, biting his lip and looks away,
"Yesterday, my mother died."
Katsuki is stunned. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't know what to say. How to feel, how to comfort deku who can't even bring himself to cry again. He knows deku must've used up all his tears already.
Katsuki feels his gut squeezing and sparks fly out from his hands. He's not taking this well.
Deku's mom is dead. Deku is alone now. Truly alone. He doesn't have anyone to support him. No one to talk to.
Where is her body right now?
How will deku pay for her funeral?
How did she die?
It's cruel timing but Katsuki's brain reminds him of last night's call and how he'd dismissed it as unimportant, trivial.
Deku was calling him because he didn't have anyone else to turn to. And what had he done?
Not even acknowledged his call for help.
Katsuki sits frozen as he imagines deku crying his heart out at night, fumbling to dial his number, to get some comfort from him and then deku's disappointment when he hadn't picked it up.
Katsuki imagines deku clutching his pillow crying onto it as he tries to fall asleep.
Katsuki imagines deku's horror filled face when he sees his mother's dead body.
"I-I didn't know," he gulps, feeling out of depth.
Deku laughs, there's no humor.
"Yeah, you didn't." And maybe deku's tone is slightly bitter but Katsuki can't bring himself to be mad at deku.
Not right now.
Not ever.
"How did it....happen?" Katsuki asks tentatively.
Deku places his head in his hands.
"She was out in the market, getting groceries....and there was an armed robber in the area. He snatched her purse but she wouldn't let go. The robber tried to pull but she started calling for help. And then the robber pulled out a knife..." Deku takes a deep breath, almost choking himself on a contained sob, "and....he plunged it directly into her heart, Kacchan, her heart! He fucking killed her in broad daylight! She was dead, she was gone before the medics even got there." And it gets too much for the child who had lost too much already and so he cries. His tears follow into his laps and they don't stop.
Katsuki watches in silence as his once childhood friend succumbs to his circumstances and breaks. Deku's sobs are muffled but his tears flow freely and Katsuki realises that his own face is slightly wet.
He hadn't realise when he had started crying. But he can't stop himself. It is all crashing down on him.
Deku is an orphan. He is quirkless. He doesn't have any relatives around. Katsuki isn't stupid. He knows what will happen to deku now.
Deku won't even get to complete his education, not if he's dumped into some shitty foster care or an orphanage where he will never get adopted. Quirk discrimination is too prominent for that.
And so Katsuki cries, and he's mourning too. He's mourning deku's mom, who had been a friendly lady, a memory from his childhood. He's mourning his lost ties with deku, the ones he hadn't known were so important to him. So valuable.
Soft sniffles bring him back to reality and deku gets up on unsteady feet.
"I-I need to rest." He says and Katsuki knows this means he has to leave.
"Oh."
Deku walks him to the door, and Katsuki collects his backpack, standing at the entrance. Something feels final about this moment, feels that if he leaves he won't see deku again. So he stalls and he doesn't move.
"Kacchan." And deku really is pleading him to go, to leave him alone.
"Yeah.. I'll- I'll go. Yeah." Katsuki turns and walks out.
He can't leave though. He has to make sure of one thing.
"Izuku. Will you be fine?"
Izuku sighs a little and then looks up at him, his eyes seem to have recollected some of their usual shine even though they're red and puffy. He smiles, this time there's sadness too but it's lingering....almost hidden. Only a bit melancholic.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I always am, afterall."
"Are you sure? How will you-"
Izuku cuts him off by raising a hand.
"Kacchan." He grips the doorknob tightly, "You've never cared for me before, don't try to start now."
With that, Izuku shuts the door and locks it.