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Saitama doubled over, gasping. There was pain, actual pain blooming in his stomach, and the blood dripping into his left eye was his own.
“What- what the-“ Saitama panted, clutching his gut as he stumbled back.
“Saitama of Planet Earth, Universe 2174-J,” the figure said in a monotone voice. “You are hereby found guilty of violating the laws of the universe and bypassing the limitations imposed on all mortal beings. I, the Arbiter, am here to execute you in the name of the Cosmic Conclave.”
Saitama, still doubled over, glared up at his attacker. The entity was roughly twelve feet tall, inhumanly slender and ethereal. Gender, age, physical appearance, all were impossible to discern under the flowing white wraps covering every inch of the creature, all inscribed with glowing sigils.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Saitama said, shaking his head. The Arbiter had come out of nowhere and shot him with... something. Something that made his limbs feel heavy, made him hurt. He could block the pain, but the fact that he felt it at all was shocking.
“Ignorance of the law is no excuse,” the creature said, raising one clawed hand. “Now accept your fate.”
Like hell was Saitama going to do that.
The Arbiter was fast, although not as fast as Sonic. Still, the bald hero barely got out of the way in time. Those claws left trails of blue-white light in the air, crackling with hot, searing energy. Saitama realized that a hit from those claws could actually damage, perhaps even kill him.
The bald hero stumbled back, unused to expending actual effort. He kept dodging strike after strike, getting his feet back under him as his body struggled to forget bad habits. To forget, and to remember; this was what a real fight felt like.
Saitama realized he was laughing.
The Arbiter paused, tilting its shrouded head in a universal expression of confusion.
“What amuses you, criminal?” the creature asked, still monotone but clearly puzzled. “The Equalizer Ray has reduced you to mere mortality. You are going to die.”
“I dunno about that,” Saitama said. He planted his feet and raised his fists, still grinning. “Maybe I’m gonna kick your skinny ass?”
The fact that it was even in question made his blood pump faster, singing in his ears.
“You will not,” the Arbiter said. The runes on its wraps glowed brighter, as it rose into the air and then stooped like a bird of prey, claws gleaming. “You will be executed.”
Saitama ducked, an instant before those claws would have scalped him; if he’d still had hair, it would have been sheared off. He brought up one fist in a brutal uppercut, smashing into the creature’s hip as it passed over his head. He felt a satisfying crack as something splintered under his fist, but the Arbiter didn’t explode.
Instead it flew up and back, putting a hasty distance between itself and Saitama. Its body language wasn’t just surprised, it was downright shocked.
“You should not be able to fight back,” the creature said. “You should be... you should...”
“Oh shut up, Albatross!” Saitama snapped. His grin had grown fierce and sharp, his eyes full of fire. “Stop complaining already and give me all you’ve got!”
The Arbiter clenched a glowing fist, then held it up above its head.
“Target is resisting,” the creature said in an echoing voice. “Immediate reinforcements required!”
The air shimmered as though from a heat-haze, and then more creatures stepped out of nowhere. A dozen, two dozen, three dozen, cutting off the street on both sides of Saitama. They were as tall and lean as the Arbiter, but their wraps were night-black and devoid of sigils.
This might be a problem.
“Sentinels! Eliminate him!” the Arbiter commanded, pointing one clawed finger at Saitama.
The mass of black-robed figures leaped forward all at once, claws bared as they tried to swamp the hero. They were slower than the Arbiter itself, but not by much, and Santana found himself on the defensive.
He dodged and wove, blocking only when he had no other choice. Sharp claws scored his arms, caught at his shoulders, nothing deep but enough to draw blood. The hero gave as good as he got, though, striking out whenever he got an opening. It took a few of his most serious punches to disable even a single enemy, but he could do it, he could, if only there weren’t so many-
“Sensei!”
A familiar voice, a familiar roar of flames, and Genos was barreling into the fray. He decapitated one creature with his arm blades, kicking the corpse into another that was about to pounce on his lover.
“Hey Genos!” Saitama cried. He ducked under a swing, slamming his fist into the offending Sentinel’s gut. It doubled over, letting the bald man shatter its head with an uppercut.
Then the black-robed figures were falling back, circling around the two heroes.
“This does not concern you, civilian,” the Arbiter said from above. Its voice was still monotone, but not enough to conceal a hint of irritation. “This criminal has violated cosmic law, and must be eliminated-“
“You’re the one that will be eliminated!” Genos snapped. His eyes were narrowed with rage, his core blazing with bright flame. “Nobody lays a hand on Sensei!”
The Arbiter tilted its head again, eyeing the cyborg for a long moment, then nodded.
“Secondary Target confirmed,” the creature said. “Crime: interference with lawful execution. Proceed with the—”
“Incinerate!”
The Arbiter caught the full force of the blast, staggering backwards in the air. Smoke rose from the front of its ruined robes, confirming Saitama’s suspicions; there was no flesh underneath, but a smooth white substance resembling ceramic. The right hip was cracked and trailing blue sparks, right where Saitama had landed his first blow.
“Nice shot, Genos!” the bald hero cried, giving his student a thumbs up.
“Thank you, Sensei,” the cyborg replied. “Would you like some assistance?”
“Sure,” Saitama said, cracking his knuckles. “The more the merrier.”
They squared up back to back, surveying the black-cloaked shapes all around. The Arbiter was rising above them, higher and higher, to get out of range, until it apparently felt safe enough to give the order.
“Kill them, Sentinels!”
It was glorious.
The two heroes met the onrushing foes with perfect, synchronized teamwork. They may never have fought side by side like this before, but they’d watched each other, fought each other, knew each other on a deep and intimate level.
Saitama recognized the roar of a charging flame burst, and cleared that extra inch of space. Genos could feel his master’s shifting weight, and moved to guard his back. An elbow from the cyborg knocked a foe into Saitama’s grip, where he used it as a living shield against two more opponents.
“Additional reinforcements!” the Arbiter barked from overhead. “Additional reinforcements!”
More and more Sentinels poured out of empty air, trying to overwhelm the heroes with sheer numbers, but it didn’t work. The two fought like one being, two wildly different bodies and combat styles flowing together like a dance.
When had Saitama felt so alive? So free and real? This was even better than before he’d unlocked his true power, in those heady early battles when he had to put his all into it.
It was better because Genos was here, fighting with him, fighting for him. They were on equal footing, able to give and take without holding back. Saitama could give his heart, his soul, his everything to this fight, without robbing the cyborg of anything.
“What do you mean, there’s no more Sentinels?” the Arbiter’s voice cried above them. Monotone or not, it was definitely panicked. “Dispatch everything, everything!”
But Genos and Saitama had already done the dispatching. They stood among hundreds of broken, sparking robots, chest heaving and core thrumming as they shared a single look.
Then they both leaped into the air, muscles and flame-jets sending them up and up with blinding speed. The Arbiter recoiled as they appeared on either side of it, raising claws that it never got the chance to use.
Saitama went high, obliterating its head with three rapid punches, while Genos went low and bisected it with his blades. The Arbiter screamed, dissolving into a hail of blue sparks, but the bald hero wasn’t looking at it. He was grinning at the battle-stained blonde, hair mussed and core glowing and face split with a matching smile.
They fell down to the ground, making matching craters on their landing. Luckily they were in a different part of the ghost town from Saitama’s apartment, because they’d made a mess of things — not that Saitama cared about that. He was too focused on grabbing Genos by the waist, spinning him around and around like a giddy teenager.
“That was awesome!” Saitama cried, overwhelmed by pure euphoria. “Fantastic! Amazing!”
“Sensei,” the cyborg said. He was flushed and beaming, eyes shining bright gold. “You‘re—“
Saitama cut him off with a kiss. He might be weaker than normal but he felt like he could do anything, overcome any challenge, because it would be a challenge.
“Love you, Genos,” he said. The words he’d struggled with for some long came easily, slipping out in the heat of the moment but no less true.
“Sensei...” the cyborg gasped. His eyes were wide, mouth falling open in surprise. Then there were black tears at the corners of his eyes, and he was smiling brighter than his lover had ever seen. He pressed his forehead to the bald man’s, metal arms wrapping around strong shoulders. “I love you too, love you so much!”
“Come on,” Saitama said, lowering his lover to the ground and grabbing his hand. “I don’t know how long this is gonna last. Let’s look for another monster, or see if the geezers want to spar or—“
———
The trans-dimensional monitoring feed sputtered out, dying as the last Sentinel completely shut down. The Cosmic Council were left in silence, staring at the empty space where the hologram had been.
“Execution failed,” said the smooth computerized voice of the Auto-Analysis Engine. “Dispatch another Arbiter?”
“Uh...” the Exalted High Justice said, voice echoing in the shocked stillness of the chamber. “N-not... not at the moment.”
This Saitama would recover his true power before a new Arbiter could arrive, and Equalizer Rays didn’t grow on trees. Add his partner in crime, whose inorganic body was immune to such weapons, and the prospect grew even less attractive. Perhaps cosmic law enforcement could be put off, just this once.