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The Way I Love

Summary:

"He was dating Soonyoung. Beautiful, determined, passionate Soonyoung, who deserved everything he had ever worked for. Who deserved to become a creative director. He shook himself, Park’s words echoing over and over in his head, fear and guilt and an empty sort of determination settled in his chest as he left the break room to text Soonyoung.

He knew what he had to do."

When Wonwoo is faced with a choice to break up with Soonyoung or to deny him his artistic dream, what will he choose? Well its a break up and get back together fic, so you probably already know.

Notes:

Wow! This got way out of hand. This kind of angst is new territory for me, but its been an interesting challenge, and I hope you enjoy! This chapter is a bit of a prologue in a way, but I promise, much angst and fluff is to come. Thank you to SunnyluvsBTS for the suggestion!

Work and chapter 1 title: Seventeen's Fear

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: This Kind of Danger

Chapter Text

“Jeon, correct?” The deep, glossy voice took Wonwoo by surprise and he turned with a jump, giving a polite nod to the suit behind him.

“Um, yes, hello,” Wonwoo removed his headset, letting it hang around his neck and he turned away from his computer, “Can I help you?”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” The man smiled with a chuckle and Wonwoo let out a nervous laugh, unsure of how much of a joke that was. “I need to see you momentarily outside, if that is amenable,” the words slipping oily out of his mouth were polite enough but Wonwoo knew that was not a request. He nodded, quickly saving the project he was working on and waving at Mingyu to get his attention, giving him a small nod before following the other man out of the room.

“I’ll make this brief, Jeon,” The man turned with a smile, passing a cream and silver business card to the editor. “I would like to promote Kwon Soonyoung to a more public role in our company,” He gave a polite smile to Wonwoo as he examined the card, Assistant Manager Park, SVT, embossed in the center.

“He’s the perfect choice,” Wonwoo smiled, confusion and excitement buzzing in his body. His boyfriend had been pitching himself as an artistic director for the small company for months now, ever since he had been hired as a dancer two years ago. This was it, this was what he had been waiting for.

So why was this man talking to him?

It was almost as if the man could sense Wonwo’s confusion and he gave a dry huff of a laugh, “Yes. The perfect choice, the perfect package. Except,” The other man’s voice dropped so low Wonwoo could barely hear it, “For you, Jeon Wonwoo.”

“W-what?” Wonwoo stopped, stomach twisting in panic.

“Everyone knows,” The manager whispered, keeping his eyes trained on Wonwoo, face emotionless as his words hissed from his lips, “And no one is going to let him do anything; choreograph, perform, teach, nothing, if he is with you.”

“We got permission to be together before being hired. You all said it was fine if he was out-“ Wonwoo began, face flushing hot and panicked.

“Oh, its fine he’s out. It almost makes it better for us, having a creative director whose progressive and supportive, that’s media attention right there,” the manager sneered, “To put it bluntly, it’s you that’s the problem.” He emphasized the “you” with what felt like disgust and confusion descended onto Wonwoo’s shoulders, hard and heavy and terrifying. “He needs a partner who is a creative, Jeon, not some pathetic idiot sitting and clipping together bits of film. If he’s going to be anywhere near the public eye with our artists, he needs someone who is charming, and attractive, and who can stand with him,” The manager got even closer, almost nose to nose, hands calmly held behind his back like they were having a polite conversation, “You are nothing without him, and he can’t afford to drag you through this company with him. This is the deal. If you don’t end it with him, he gets fired. End of week.” The manager snarled at Wonwoo. He stared into the editor’s eyes, cold calculating emptiness the only thing on his face, before giving one final sneer and turning on his heel, stalking down the hallway.

Wonwoo stood frozen, fear and adrenaline filling him. That was like a scene from a fucking drama, who even talks like that. He glanced down at his hands in almost bemused confusion to find they were shaking.

Okay.

Wonwoo took a deep breath in. Fucking weirdo.

 

He returned to his computer, shaking his head at Mingyu’s concerned expression, wanting to put the conversation behind him as quickly as possible.

“You okay?” Mingyu asked him as he all but collapsed back into his desk chair, hands just now beginning to shake as the intensity of the situation settled into him.

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” Wonwoo said lightly, trying to convince himself more than his coworker.

“What did Manager Park-nim want to talk with you about?” Mingyu asked, concern coloring his voice. Wonwoo shrugged, biting the inside of his lip.

“I don’t know, something about promotions and Soonyoung or something, he was really vague,” Wonwoo trailed off, praying for Mignyu to stop asking questions. Mignyu did, thankfully, because Mingyu was Mingyu and five other things distracted him, but Wonwoo couldn’t shake the uneasiness that rested high in his stomach. He put back on his headphones, returning to the rhythm of clipping the shots of the dance together, but questions and insecurities continued to press against his skull.

Why was he with Soonyoung in the first place? Soonyoung was incredible and talented and social and bright. He was a performer. He was going to be famous, they had known that for years. Wonwoo had just been his weird quiet friend, trialing behind him with a camera. And now Soonyoung had the chance at getting what he had wanted since they were fucking kids. He wanted to direct, to create, to perform. And if Wonwoo kept him from that-

“-Won?” Wonwoo was ripped from his thoughts, glancing up to see Mingyu watching him expectantly, “I have to check on the filming. Want to come with?”
Wonwoo nodded silently, quickly saving his project and throwing his headphones to the desk before grabbing his jacket to follow the other out of the office. They walked in comfrotable silence to the elevator, Mignyu scanning his badge for access to the basement.

The basement housed a small studio, usually used for small more casual dance videos. It was being today to film some sort of view achievement video, Seokmin, better known by his stage name DK, liked to provide as many videos and performances of his b-sides as possible, something that only helped grow his popularity. It had been one of Soonyoungs ideas quietly discussed with the singer and Wonwoo knew Soonyoung always felt a small surge of pride as they were praised for their commitment to highlighting performances.

They paused outside of the studio, waiting for the okay to enter, not wanting to disrupt the recording. Wonwoo took a deep breath, what Park said running through his mind over and over again.

“So who is Assistant Park?” Wonwoo finally asked as they arrived outside of the studio. Mignyu grimaced and Wonwo’s stomach dropped.

“Oh yeah, him,” Mingyu spoke with clear disgust, but something else on the edge of his voice. A tension. Fear. “He’s the so-called public image consultant. He’s a contractor basically, they bring him in when they are going through promotions and shit,” Mignyu shrugged, “I never liked him, but he doesn’t really control our department. The people who need to be worried about him are the performers,” Mingyu nodded his head to the studio, filled to the brim with performers, back up dancers and singers all being carefully monitored, ready to be pushed or cut for how the public reacted to them. Soonyoung was in that room with his friends. Wonwoo’s stomach dropped.

That was exactly what he was afraid of.

 

Wonwo let the subject drop as the assistant ushered them both inside. Mignyu quickly checked in with the camera crews, reviewing footage and checking lighting. While he wasn’t the head of filming, but he may as well have been. Due to the size of the company, he split his time between editing and helping out with the cameras as much as possible. He had brought Wonwoo in as a camera man, but he had quickly been turned to editing by corporate. Good camera men were hard to come by, but good editors had been practically impossible to find, especially ones with an eye for detail when editing choreography and speed of turn around that Wonwoo had.
It had really been Soonyoung that had helped Wonwoo get the job, Wonwoo mused as he watched his boyfriend run through his track with the other dancers, perfectly executing the choreography, letting the lead singers stand out without marking any of the moves. Wonwoo had been filming Soonyoung’s dances since childhood and his first dirt cheap digital camera that they split the cost of so Soonyoung could watch his performances back. Soonyoung had always encouraged him to film anything and everything, even buying him his first editing software. Or, giving Wonwoo money and saying buy whatever it is you use. He loved editing, but being there, watching the live dancers, performers singing their hearts out, capturing those moments, that was what he loved.

But the company needed him to edit. He really didn’t mind. Working for a company doing something in the realm of his dream job was better than sitting behind a counter filling coffee orders, which is what he had done until Soonyoungs audition tape, that he had filmed, had been a hit within the editing department.
Wonwoo was shaken out of his thoughts as a facless voice announced a water break, the dancers dispersing in a sweaty glittery mass, Soonyoung bounding up to Wonwoo, grinning.

“Just coming to drool over the cameras?” He grinned, bouncing in front of Wonwoo. Wonwoo felt relief flood through his body as he saw Soonyoung, bubbly, bright, perfect Soonoyung, and he stood in silence. “Hey, hey I was just kidding. You okay?” He asked quietly, hand coming up to grab onto Wonwoo’s arm.

“No, no I-I’m fine, I’m fine. Just tired. You did awesome, make sure you are drinking your water, okay?” Wonwoo said, squeezing his hand. Soonyoung watched him for a moment with confusion before nodding.

“Okay,” He finally said, knowing it was usually best not to argue with his boyfriend when he was spaced out like this, shaking himself out of his sudden drop in energy, “Okay, well I’ve got a water break and then we are back at it, okay?”

Wonwoo gave him a smile and Soonyoung beamed in return, squeezing his arm one last time before scurrying off to the corner that housed the back up dancer’s belongings. The editor watched him for a moment. He deserved to be an artistic director. He was a genius choreographer, an incredible performer, and his presence was overwhelming. He deserved better than him.

“-Won?” Mingyu appeared next to him and he almost jumped out of his skin as the other man grinned, “My god this is the second fucking time, you sure you’re okay?”
Wonwoo took a deep breath, “Gyu. If you got a request from Assistant Park, would you do it?”

Gyus eyes clouded with confusion but the answer was clear, “Um, I guess it would depend on what he wanted?” Gyu thought for a moment, but finally shrugged, “I mean I heard stories of him fucking people over like, outside of the company. People lost their homes, blacklisted from companies, got sued. So like theoretically? Yes.”

Wonwoo nodded, resolution setting his jaw. He needed to know this was going to help Soonoyung first.

 

“Cheol, you manage Soonyoung technically, right?” Wonwoo approached the older man carefully in the staffs common break room. They had grown closer over the last two years, despite being in such different departments, but Soonyoung just had a way of pulling people together. It helped that they had become a deadly team in multiple first shooter games, holding a couple of company record scores under their belts. But even more than that, Wonwoo trusted Cheol, and he knew they both looked out for the performers and artists. Both had partners who were in the public eye, Cheol being in a now five-year relationship with one of the companies actors, Jeonghan.

“Uh yeah, kinda?” Cheol looked up from his lunch, motioning for the younger to join him. “I represent all the performers under in the dance section of SVT, right? So, while Soonyoung is contracted under SVT, he dances under Perf Unit, and…” Cheol smiled gently as Wonwoo’s eyes glazed over, “Yes. If there’s a problem, he talks to me.”

“Okay but…But who decides if the backup dancers get hired or promoted?” Wonwoo asked, fidgeting.

“Won, did something happen?” Cheol asked, voice dropping low.

“No! No nothing is wrong, I just. I’m just curious, you know, they are getting their contracts renewed soon and I like knowing these things, just in case he needs to talk through anything,” Wonwoo forced his voice to relax, half believing the lie himself.

“Okay,” Cheol didn’t seem convinced, but he continued regardless, “Well, they are under multiple people. If we want them to work under SVT as a director, such as a creative director, in Soonie’s case, there’s quite a few people in that decision,” His voice dropped even lower, eyes darkening, “Honestly though, Assistant Park has been at the head of that the last few seasons. They pay him to observe and consult, and while he shouldn’t be the final say, he basically holds a monopoly over the company. Seok is one of the last artists holding on outside of Park’s contracts. Directors should be decided by a board, but everyone knows they only have him to worry about,” Cheol shook his head in frustration and Wonwoo felt that pang of panic once again. He nodded, taking it in.

“Why the fuck did I not know about this guy,” He murmured and Cheol shrugged.

“You’re editing, he doesn’t care about you lot. He cares about who the public sees. Not just the artists, but the creative team, are his special choices, each having to be exactly what he wants,” Cheol took another bite of food as Wonwoo stared at the table in front of him, resolve hardening in his chest.

“Okay. Thanks, Cheol,” Wonwoo gave Cheol a small smile, but he knew it wasn’t reaching his eyes. The older didn’t seem to notice, tapping his arm as he swallowed another bite of lunch.

“Any time. Hey, also, Jeonghan is planning me a surprise birthday party in two weeks. He’ll probably invite you two and keep it very quiet. Just warning you, he’s picky about presents,” Cheol grinned just talking about his fiancé, and Wonwoo snorted.

“But its your birthday?” Wonwoo asked and Cheol laughed.

“It’s a long story. But don’t tell him I told you, he likes to try to surprise me,” Cheol gave Wonwoo a wink before turning back to his phone and Wonwoo shook his head, thanking whatever that he was not dating Jeonghan.

He was dating Soonyoung. Beautiful, determined, passionate Soonyoung, who deserved everything he had ever worked for. Who deserved to become a creative director. Who deserved all of the artistic freedom and public attention and everything that came with it. He shook himself, Park’s words echoing over and over in his head, fear and guilt and an empty sort of determination settled in his chest as he left the break room to text Soonyoung.

He knew what he had to do.