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Jiang Cheng tries not to be a self-centred person and usually he’s doing pretty well with that. He knows that if people look his way, they are mostly just looking for Wei Wuxian or actually watching whatever shenanigans he’s coming up with and very rarely at Jiang Cheng himself.
But lately, people have been staring at him a lot, even when Wei Wuxian isn’t there. Especially now that Wei Wuxian isn’t there anymore.
Jiang Cheng’s neck is itching with every step he takes through the Cloud Recesses and he can’t explain it. It had been fine for the first two or three weeks; right until Wei Wuxian had been sent home and after that the stares had intensified.
Was everyone waiting for Jiang Cheng to lose it without Wei Wuxian at his side? Are they waiting for him to be sent home as well? To bring disgrace to his Sect?
Jiang Cheng hates thinking about it, but it seems like he has to and there is really one person he can talk to about things like this.
“Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng hisses as he ducks into his room, glad to get out of the ever present stares these day.
“Oh, Jiang-xiong, what brings you here?” Nie Huaisang asks, fluttering his fan and not even pretending to look surprised that Jiang Cheng would just barge into his room.
“Is there something wrong with me?” Jiang Cheng asks, going straight to the point, and at least that catches Nie Huaisang’s attention.
“Why would there be?” he wants to know. “Are you not feeling well? Is something going on?”
Jiang Cheng can’t help but be a little pleased at hearing the clear concern in Nie Huaisang’s voice, because it’s nice to know that he isn’t just friends with Jiang Cheng because of Wei Wuxian, but clearly cares for Jiang Cheng himself.
“I’m doing fine, it’s just—” Jiang Cheng helplessly shrugs. “People keep staring at me. People don’t stare at me when Wei Wuxian is not there,” he explains, not that it seems to help Nie Huaisang much because he frowns at him.
“So you’re worried because people are staring at you?” he clarifies and Jiang Cheng nods, before he sinks down on the edge of Nie Huaisang’s bed.
“It doesn’t happen. I’m not interesting enough to get that much attention. There’s a reason I’m only ranked fifth on that damn list.”
Jiang Cheng tries to not let that bother him that even Jin Zixuan is ranked higher than he is, but sometimes, in the dead of night, it still stings. He doesn’t have any argument against Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji—they clearly deserve to be at the very top of the list, especially Lan Xichen with his beautiful face and his gentle manners and his perfect personality.
He even gets Wei Wuxian; he’s brilliant and fun and charismatic, so of course he would rank very high.
Now, Jin Zixuan on the other hand—Jiang Cheng doesn’t see the appeal at all.
He’s fairly certain that he’s stronger than the peacock and at least Jiang Cheng wouldn’t treat any fiancé of his like shit, but it seems that simply having Jin Guangshan as his father is enough to rank fairly high on that list.
“Oh,” Nie Huaisang breathes out and jolts Jiang Cheng out of his thoughts with that.
“What?” he snaps and Nie Huaisang fans himself again.
By now Jiang Cheng knows enough about him to realize that it’s a nervous habit, only used when he has to talk about something he does not want to talk about. If he simply wishes to hide, or if he’s secretly judging someone, he holds his fan in front of his face, without fanning it.
Jiang Cheng frowns at his own thoughts, because when the hell had he learned that much about Nie Huaisang, but he forces himself to stay on topic.
“What was that ‘oh’ supposed to mean?” he asks when Nie Huaisang stays silent and watches as he fans himself harder.
“You—did not hear?” he carefully asks Jiang Cheng who sends him a glare.
“Would I ask you if I had heard?” he bites out and Nie Huaisang laughs nervously.
“True,” he agrees and then decisively snaps his fan closed. “You’re no longer fifth on that list,” he then tells Jiang Cheng who simply stares at him.
“So? Did the world finally wake up and realize that it’s bullshit that your brother is only ranked seventh?” he wants to know, because that’s truly the only reason he’ll accept for dropping even further down.
“Not quite.”
“Then what, Huaisang?”
“You’re first now,” Nie Huaisang rushes out and Jiang Cheng blinks at him for several long moments.
“Excuse me, what?” he finally asks because that does not make any sense at all.
Jiang Cheng must have heard that wrong.
“You heard me,” Nie Huaisang snaps out and slaps Jiang Cheng’s hand lightly with his fan. “You’re ranked first now.”
“Lan Xichen is first,” Jiang Cheng numbly gives back, because how deluded could everyone be in thinking that he ranks higher than the first jade?
“He’s a close second. There’s talk of just allowing you both to be the first but for now it’s just you holding that spot.”
“How did that happen? Who would play that kind of elaborate prank?” Jiang Cheng demands to know, because that’s the only explanation he can think of.
“It’s not a prank,” Nie Huaisang says, and he sounds serious about it. “Listen, Jiang-xiong, I know you don’t think that highly of yourself but people had a chance to see you, now that Wei Wuxian is no longer overshadowing you with his loud and bright presence. And it seems like they like what they see,” he finishes with a shrug.
“That’s stupid,” Jiang Cheng says, more on reflex than anything else. “I’m not—I’m not better than Wei Wuxian!”
“But maybe you are,” Nie Huaisang easily gives back and then sighs. “Look, there’s actually a petition to make you first, okay. It lists a whole lot of your qualities. I think it’s still pinned close to the wall of rules? Maybe you should go and have a look at that.”
“This is insane,” Jiang Cheng grumbles out but he does get up, fully intending to take that damn petition down.
There is no universe in which he would rank higher than the esteemed Zewu-Jun and Jiang Cheng is surprised that people could be this blind.
He intends to set it right.
Nie Huaisang waves him off instead of coming with him and so Jiang Cheng leaves to find the petition on his own. People are parting their ways for him, though no one dares to speak to him. Still, Jiang Cheng can feel all their eyes on him and he shudders when he thinks about how Lan Xichen probably has to endure that all the time.
But then again he probably bears it much more gracefully than Jiang Cheng does.
It’s not long before he finds the petition; it’s right where Nie Huaisang said it would be, and there’s a small crowd gathered around, though they do flee when they see Jiang Cheng stomping towards them.
All the better, Jiang Cheng thinks, because like this he doesn’t have to hide the blush that immediately creeps up on his face when he reads the petition.
Reasons why Jiang Wanyin should be ranked first: he’s beautiful, stern, dedicated, brilliant, fierce, loyal, dependable, supportive, capable, strong, admirable, funny and gorgeous.
Jiang Cheng blinks confused as he reads it because none of these things are true!
But that doesn’t seem to matter, because his eyes nearly fall out of his head when he sees just how many people signed their names under this and Jiang Cheng realizes with a start that this could be a problem.
If Lan Xichen knows about this he could think that Jiang Cheng is trying to take the first place away from him and Jiang Cheng can’t have that. So he turns around on his heels, searching for Lan Xichen to immediately set this right.
He finds him in the empty classroom, seemingly going over some tests from the younger classes and Jiang Cheng immediately kneels in front of him, where he bows deeply.
“Jiang Wanyin,” Lan Xichen greets him, but he does sound confused. “What are you doing?”
“I’m here to apologize,” Jiang Cheng immediately tells him, hoping that Lan Xichen isn’t too mad with him yet.
“For what? What happened?” Lan Xichen wants to know, and he’s giving Jiang Cheng his full attention now.
“You must have heard about the—the petition.” Jiang Cheng struggles to even say it out loud, it’s so embarrassing. “You must believe me that I had nothing to do with that. I don’t want to be your rival, and I never wanted that first position anyway. Besides, most of the things on that list are flat out wrong, so there is really no reason for you to worry about anything! People will forget about this soon enough, once I take it off and then the first place will rightfully be yours again,” Jiang Cheng rushes out in one go, afraid to look at Lan Xichen.
He has the highest respect for him—and the tiniest of crushes as well, not that he would ever admit to that—and he really doesn’t want Lan Xichen to think badly of him.
But Lan Xichen is staying silent for so long that it worries Jiang Cheng so he does eventually lift his head to look at him, and he’s confused to see the frown on his face.
Surely, he must have heard of the petition already?
“What do you mean, the list is wrong?” he wants to know and Jiang Cheng swallows.
“Of course it’s wrong, Zewu-Jun,” he gives back, lowering his gaze again.
“I don’t understand, but could you please tell me where I erred in describing you?” Lan Xichen asks and this is just what Jiang Cheng waited for; a chance to explain and put everything into the right light.
“First of all, I’m not brilliant, I have to study hard to keep up in class and even then I don’t get the best grades. Second, I’m not funny at all, that’s all—Wei—Wuxian—” Jiang Cheng trails off here, because only now are Lan Xichen’s words hitting him.
“Wait, what?” he breathes out, because clearly Lan Xichen did not just say that he was the one who made the list.
That surely has to be a hallucination.
“Could you—I seem to be under the impression that you just said you made that list,” Jiang Cheng whispers, turning his gaze back to Lan Xichen, who has gone a fetching red in the face.
“That would be the right impression,” Lan Xichen sheepishly admits and Jiang Cheng is glad that he’s already sitting down.
“What the hell is going on?” Jiang Cheng breathes out, because nothing makes sense anymore.
“Wanyin, I always thought it was unfair that you were only ranked fifth,” Lan Xichen says, but he can’t quite manage to meet Jiang Cheng’s eyes. “Jin Zixuan is only ranked above you because of his father and Wei Wuxian because he has a certain presence about him, that tends to overshadow everyone else. It’s not fair to you.”
“But it’s how it is,” Jiang Cheng whispers, still reeling from the fact that apparently Lan Xichen thinks all of these things of him.
“Not for any longer,” Lan Xichen determinedly says. “I realize that the timing might be dubious, but Wei Wuxian got sent home because of his own actions and now people have the time and opportunity to get to know you. They finally get to see what I saw during class already. And going by how well the petition is received, I’d say most people agree with me.”
“But it’s not true,” Jiang Cheng whispers, because he can’t wrap his head around that Lan Xichen would think so highly of him.
That he’d think him to be beautiful.
“It is,” Lan Xichen says with a decisive nod. “Our rules forbid us from lying, even on paper. I have only written down what I perceive to be the truth.”
Jiang Cheng is unable to find his voice for the longest time and when he finally does the first thing he does is blurt out “But I’m not more beautiful than you are!”
Now it’s Lan Xichen’s time to be taken aback it seems, because he only stares at Jiang Cheng.
“I’m not stronger or more graceful than you are, and I am not nice or more beautiful or more brilliant! You should be ranked first because you’re the best person I know and you deserve it!”
Jiang Cheng closes his mouth with an audible noise when he realizes just what he said, and to top it all off he can feel how his face goes hot as well.
Wonderful. Now he thoroughly embarrassed himself in front of Lan Xichen and let word of his little crush slip out and maybe it’s time for the ground to swallow him whole now.
“Maybe—maybe we should both be ranked first then,” Lan Xichen says as he hides his smile behind his sleeve. “Because I think the same about you.”
“That’s still—” ‘Bullshit’ Jiang Cheng wants to say on reflex, but then the real implication of what Lan Xichen just said hits him and he can only gape at him.
“You can’t mean that,” he eventually weakly whispers but Lan Xichen smiles at him, now no longer hidden behind his sleeve.
“I could say the same, but it seems you do mean everything you said. Rest assured that I do, too. I would offer to take it down if it makes you uncomfortable, but it seems I have reason to believe that it doesn’t. That I don’t.”
“But you’re Lan Xichen!” Jiang Cheng tries, as if that could explain everything, and in his mind it does.
People like Lan Xichen don’t think highly of people like Jiang Cheng.
“And you’re Jiang Wanyin,” Lan Xichen gives back, clearly not understanding what Jiang Cheng means.
Or maybe he does understand and he is giving the sentiment right back and that thought is actually pretty scary. Jiang Cheng wouldn’t know what to do with himself if that was the case.
“My intention was to ask for the privilege of courtship once the six month mark passes,” Lan Xichen says after a long silence and Jiang Cheng swallows. “I wanted to give you more time to settle and to enjoy your time here without that hanging over you, but then Wei Wuxian left early and I panicked,” Lan Xichen admits. “I simply couldn’t let the chance pass, but I didn’t want to overwhelm you so soon, so I did this.”
“You want to court me,” Jiang Cheng gets out, his voice barely above a whisper, because he heard nothing after that. “You. Court me.”
“Yes,” Lan Xichen says and there’s no hesitation in his answer. “If that is something you would want, of course.”
“If that is something I want, he asks,” Jiang Cheng mockingly says, because how could he ever not want that, but then he realizes what he did, so he slaps a hand over his mouth.
But it seems like his worry is for nothing because when Jiang Cheng looks at him, Lan Xichen is grinning at him.
“I see how it is,” he gives back, laughter colouring his voice and Jiang Cheng’s heart does a funny thing in his chest. “Well, then I better let my uncle now so he can write the official letter to your parents.”
“So it’s not a joke,” Jiang Cheng says, because for all his apparent bravery he has to make sure.
“Of course it’s not a joke,” Lan Xichen says and his face goes soft as he reaches out to offer his hand to Jiang Cheng. “Everything on that list is the truth about how I see you. And everything I said in here is also the truth.”
Jiang Cheng’s heart stumbles again, before it picks up a much quicker pace but he still reaches out for Lan Xichen’s hand. It’s warm and calloused in his own hand and Jiang Cheng already wishes to never let go again.
“A courtship then,” Lan Xichen says and Jiang Cheng nods, feeling as happy as he never did before.
“A courtship.”