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How to be a Human (UNFINISHED)

Summary:

Quackity teaches an oblivious Slime how to act like a human oneshots

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: The basics

Chapter Text

First thing that you should know is Slimes don’t sleep.
Mobs don’t sleep so it makes sense slimes don’t. So Slimecicle didn’t sleep. No matter how many years of evolution, it was still a slime at the core. So at 2am it sat in its room, on its bed, wide awake staring at a wall.

It had been in its new location for about a week now and nights were some of the most boring parts of its time. After being introduced to the flashing lights of Las Nevadas and the all the human activities, the time it so enjoyed of just sitting had become slightly less enjoyable.
During the 8 hours in which everyone else slept, Slimecicle moved a lot. It moved around their room, sometimes sitting on the bed, the floor, the dark closet, or the shower (the last two being favorites). It also moved between forms, switching periodically between slime and human.

Right now Slimecicle sat looking like a human on the bed. (After complaints from Las Nevadas staff about sheets being stained, Slimecicle was banned from being in slime form on the bed.)
Slimecicle swung its legs back and forth as it just stared straight ahead at a painting of a land it had seen years before, though it knew it look a lot different now. It had heard it be called a number of things by a number of people, L’manburg, Manburg, L’manhole, etc. It had stationed themselves at this land a few times before, but It hadn’t for a while. Despite the fact that the large cave that replaced the land that would normal appeal to them, Slimecicle avoided the place mainly because of the smell. In the painting though it was back in the days where it wasn’t a cave, but instead a little area will tall walls around it. Slimecicle thought it was quite beautiful.

Its train of thought, however, was interrupted by a knock accompanied by a voice.
“Hey.... buddy? You up?”
It was Quackity Las Nevadas. Slimecicle had grown quite fond of its first friend, so the second they heard them, it rushed to the door. Mid knock, the door flung open.
“Quackity Las Nevadas!” Slimecicle exclaimed staring down at Quackity.
“Well I guess that answers my question then” Quackity said with a small smile, “May I come in, I just wanna ask some quick questions.”
“Oh sure!” Slimecicle said stepping out of the door way to allow Quackity to walk in. Quackity made his way into the room and sat down on a chair next to a small desk. In his hand was a large duffle bag. Slimecicle, after closing the door, sat down on the bed once more.

“I just want to get to know you better man!” Quackity said after Slimecicle sat down. “ You know, sus you out a bit!”
“Sus me out? I’m not an imposter” They said with a wide smile. It had learned that one from the little goat boy. Quackity chuckled a bit, “You’re really something, you know? But more seriously, can I ask about... you”
“Well what do you wanna know”
“That’s the spirit! First things first, do you have a name? I’m mean I can’t just keep calling you Buddy or guy...”
“I guess not... I mean I guess I was called Slimecicle for a while”
“Slimecicle?” Quackity questioned.
“Well yeah, I was called that for years, but it’s not a name like I’ve seen you guys use. I only got called that because I can’t stay up very straight like this”, Charlie said gesturing to their current form, “So I had a stick put in my back! Slimecicle!”
Quackity just stared, “W-who the fuck would called you Slimecicle and who the fuck put a stick in you?” For a split second, Quackity saw something in Slimecicle’s face besides joy or confusion for the first time. Nervousness.
“Uh well that was a longgg time ago, I don’t really know um” Slimecicle stalled.
“You know what, forget it. But let’s get you a new name!” Quackity said changing the topic.
“Oooo I like that”
“Yeah yeah it’ll be lots of fun” Quackity said before staring at Slimecicle who just stared back. “Hmmmm... do you have any names you like?”
“Uhh the only names I’ve really heard for a while is all the people who live around hear sooo”
Quackity just squinted harder at them. “Any thing you like?”
“ Uhh I like water, I like the pretty lights downstairs, I like that stuff in the drawer, I like-“ Slimecicle listed.
“Wait go back, what drawer?” Quackity questioned. Slimecicle pointed at the top drawer of the tv stand. When Quackity stood up and opened it, he found a bunch of crumbled candy wrappers. And that’s when it hit him.
“ I’ve got it!” He said turning toward Slimecicle. “Do you know what a movie is?”
“... No” Slimecicle responded.
“I’ll show you later but theres a movie where a kid loves these” Quackity said grabbing a fist full of the wrappers and pointing at them, “I’m gonna call you Charlie!”
“... I like it!”
“ Fannntastic!” Quackity said dropping the wrappers back into the drawer and retuning to his seat.

“Secondly, outfit.” Quackity continued, “Where did you get clothes in the first place?”
Slimecicle, newly dubbed Charlie just shrugged.
“I don’t know exactly cause it was so long ago.... I mean I made the shirt myself because I thought it would help me blend in better”
Quackity looked at the shirt. It was a white tee with three hearts scribbled on it, one being half darkened. Underneath the hearts was scribbled, ‘So yeah, I’m a gamer.’
“I know you humans have some heart life thing so that’s the hearts” Charlie continued, “And I heard another name for humans was gamers!”
“Yeah I guess that’s sort of true... what about the sash” Quackity questioned gesturing to the green sash on Charlie’s waist.
“Oh that was a gift from an oldddd friend! I wonder how he’s doing...” Charlie said fondly.
“That’s nice. That’s nice... but I think I have something better.” Quackity said, throwing the duffle he walked in with at Charlie. Charlie opened it up to find more clothes.
“Since Las Nevadas is a nice establishment, I thought I would get you some nicer clothes” Quackity said with a smile.
“Oh thank you Quackity Las Nevadas! I’ll change right now!” Charlie exclaimed before immediately going to to take off their shirt.
“Woah woah!” Quackity quickly said once he realized what was about to happen, “Charlie uh humans typically don’t change in front of each other. It makes them uncomfortable...”
“Oh, ok!” Charlie said taking the duffle with them to the bathroom. After a few minutes, Charlie re-emerge. This time it were wearing a white shirt with puffy sleeves with little red hearts all over it underneath a green vest with gold buttons. It had on dark red pants, dark green shoes, and red glasses. It also had a wide grin on their face.
“This is great!” Charlie said twirling around, “Thank you Quackity Las Nevadas!!” As they said this it leaned in for a kiss, before being pushed away by Quackity.
“Come on, I told you not to do that. Humans don’t greet each other like that”
“But I’ve seen you greet people like that before?” Charlie said with an innocent tilt of their head. Quackity’s eyes widen.

How long had Charlie been around for?

Quackity just shook the thought from his head before standing up.
“I think that gonna be it for tonight, but I’ll teach you all about proper greetings soon, okay?” Quackity said as he made his way across the room quickly towards the door.
“Sounds GOOP to me!” Charlie replied. Quackity let out a slight laugh as he opened up the door.
“Good night Charlie”
“Good night Quackity Las Nevadas!”
“... you can just call me Quackity, Charlie”
“Okay!”
As Quackity started to close the door he heard Charlie call out, “Wait one last thing!”
“What is it?” Quackity said, swinging the door back open to view Charlie again.
“How do you sleep?”
“... What?”
“Slimes don’t usually ‘sleep’... so how do you guys do it...”
“Uhh I just kinda lay down, close my eyes and relax... I guess?” Quackity replied. He couldn’t remember the last time he slept himself and now he was teaching a slime to. His life was weird.
“Thank you Quackity”
“No problem, good night now”
“Good night!”
And finally Quackity closed the door.

 

In their room, all alone, Charlie laid on top of its bed with lights still on still in its new outfit, trying to sleep.
In his room, all alone, Quackity laid under his covers with the lights off in a sleep shirt and pants, trying to sleep.
And on that night, a slime learned to sleep and a human found out he had forgotten.