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Moonlight poured into the room from the window, curtains pushed to the side to allow the light to enter. The window was open, the breeze cool and relaxing, slipping into the room and spreading throughout it. He sat up in his bed, back against his headboard and head tilted back so he could stare up at the ceiling.
Oceanic blue-green eyes stared into the darkness, the moonlight coming from across the room not doing much to light the other side. Desperately wanting to get up and close the window, he didn't allow himself to move an inch. It was cold, it was going to stay cold. That was that.
Searching, looking for anything, he came up empty-handed. A sigh left his lips, a shiver ran through his body. Debating, thinking, evaluating, he wondered how long it would be. How long would it be until the sun rose, and he was allowed to move around freely? Sleep was no longer an option, he knew he was going to be up all night whether he liked it or not.
A soft buzz came from under his skin, reminding him that he wasn't alone anymore, that someone was always there, someone always cared. Tearing his gaze away from the ceiling, he turned his head to the side and began to stare at the wall. It was the same thing as the ceiling, nothing. Answers were just out of his grasp, just beyond the edges of his mind where he couldn't reach. Places that he couldn't go, places that he wouldn't go. They hid from him, hiding behind even more questions that had no true answers. Problems with no solutions.
One could say that he was an enigma, but he always felt like he was paper-thin, so see-through, skin deathly pale. Tiny, small, unnoticeable in the grand scheme of things, but always too loud, too quiet.
He guessed that it was his fault.
It always was anyway.
Silently, inaudibly, he wondered whether he should bring Gold Experience Requiem out. Would it make him feel less lonely? Of course, it always did at times like these. Holding him while he closed his eyes and waited for the night to pass, the sun rose over the horizon and blessed the Earth with its light. It was comforting, for the hours where it was only them. Nothing else mattered, no one else mattered, just them. Existence was futile, and yet they went on and didn't anyway, knowing the consequences.
One of his fingers twitched, and that's when he realized he was shaking. It wasn't a shocking revelation, just a fact coming to the surface to be acknowledged. He was shaking. That was it. The cold wasn't at fault here; his mind was, it was his own doing.
Pushing his head farther back against the headboard, he dared to turn his head towards the open window and look out at the night sky. Truly, nature was beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to be with nature, to live with nature, to be nature. But humans spent so much time and used so much effort to separate themselves from nature, to paint themselves as something greater. Despite their attempts, nature still ruled them. He just wanted to give in, return from where he once came. Give back to nature.
But he was scared, scared of the elements, scared of the process, scared of the results. He was afraid, something that he thought he left in his past, but always loomed over him. Just like humans thought they had escaped and separated themselves from nature, he was still governed by fear. It wasn't a nice feeling, but at least it was a feeling.
A knock on his door pulled him out of thought, brought him back down to Earth where he would never be able to escape. He blinked a couple of times, the familiar buzz of Gold Experience Requiem under his skin just in case.
"Come in."
The words slipped past his lips, hesitation and curiosity coating them heavy and weighing them down. Last time he checked the time, which could have been hours or minutes ago, it was 2:53 AM. That was when he woke up, the exact time that his eyes snapped open and he was roused from his sleep, shoved back into the world of the living. He had no idea what time it was now but was too scared to check. No matter, he knew it was too late for someone to be at his door.
Wordlessly, the doorknob turned and was pushed open, the person behind it stepping into the four walls of the room, into his cage. Moving his head to see who it was, it was the last, well, maybe the second last, person he thought he would see at a time like this. Once more, he blinked.
Narancia stood in front of his door, not having closed it yet in case he was denied and forced to return to his own cage. With the way that his violet eyes shone in the darkness, he was led to believe that the moonlight reached across the room. In those eyes, he saw the one emotion he was running from.
Fear.
"Come here."
Nothing else needed to be said, no other words needed to poison the air between them. The male in front of the door closed it behind himself, making sure not to make too much noise before rushing across the room to the bed. Once he reached the bed, he stopped, not knowing whether or not he was allowed in. With the clothes that he was wearing, he could tell that at one point he was asleep, or at least had gotten ready for bed. Loose orange shorts and a black tee-shirt covered his frame, comfortable clothes that looked like they didn't belong.
"Can I? I don't wanna, uh, disturb you…" Fiddling with his fingers, he looked down, not being able to maintain eye contact. The male on the bed laughed a soft, fragile, almost broken thing. He sat up more, using all his strength to shift his body, and then pat the empty spot on the bed next to him. With his bed being king-sized, he could probably fit him, the boy asking to be let in, and someone else.
"Yes." It was a simple response, but it meant so much, too much at the same time. Overwhelming, blinding, he carefully climbed into the bed and got under the covers. There was a fair amount of space between the two of them as one sat up and the other laid down. Silence coated the air like the breeze that blew into the room from the opened window. Moonlight spilled onto the floor still, reminding him that he was still here. He let his eyes close, taking a deep breath and letting it sound throughout his body that he wasn't alone.
Eyes fluttering open, he looked down at the male in the bed next to him and simply observed. He didn't need to be told, he already knew. Violet eyes looked up and met oceanic blue-green, knowing all despite being told that they knew nothing. "You should take off your shirt." He spoke, observing the black shirt he was wearing through the darkness and knowing that it was soaked with sweat.
They had stared at each other for a few seconds before the violet-eyed boy began to shift, sitting up against the headboard like the other male. Carefully, he peeled the black tee-shirt off his frame, discarding it to an unimportant place. Their gazes met once the action was done. "You should take yours off too."
Oceanic blue-green eyes shifted away in fear.
Softer, now, "I promise I won't look."
He knew. Of course, he knew. He saw the signs. He pieced them together. Or maybe he didn't know the full picture, maybe he only knew that he didn't like people seeing certain parts of him, but didn't know why. The uncertainty was terrifying, but he found comfort in it. If he did know the full picture, he hadn't run from him, hadn't called him a freak, hadn't pitied him like he was some kind of broken doll. He came to him for comfort instead. It was liberating.
Shaking, he gripped the bottom of his white tee-shirt, something that he had gotten as a gift because he didn't have much casual clothing and he didn't want to return to his dorm room to get some. Pulling it over his head, they locked eyes as he threw it onto the floor with the other male's shirt. Now both shirtless and sitting up against the headboard, their eyes raked over each other. Their physical bodies were only briefly looked at, both lean and muscular, solid, strong. Instead, they looked into each other's eyes, their souls. They ravaged each other for information, wanting to know all.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Words carefully picked from his mind, he let them pass his lips in a low whisper like someone was standing right outside the door and was trying to listen in.
"No." A one-word response, shaky, wobbly, a lie, one that he didn't call him out on.
Eyes trailing over the male's body and reading his body language, he was happy to notice that he was less scared than when he first came in. Looking in his eyes confirmed this, but by looking he noticed something else. He was inviting, like he wanted him to come closer. Uncertainty filled him, rushing over him and almost knocking him back. He didn't know, he wasn't certain. In theory, it sounded nice, feeling the warmth of another human being, being close to someone else. But with closeness came the opportunity for pain, he wasn't sure if he was ready to open up like that.
"It's okay." A hand found his under the covers, simply resting on top of his for now. The warmth cooled his shivering body, but the cold breeze floating throughout the room wasn't the reason he was shivering. It was grounding, reminding him that he was still here and that he wasn't alone. He wanted more.
Gulping, he lifted the covers so it would be easier for him to move under them and then put them back down over the both of them. The violet-eyed boy waited patiently, not making any sudden moves that would drive him back, scare him. It was like he was dealing with a caged animal, but in reality, they were both caged. Bound by this Earth, never to fully escape and be free. Their past would forever be a part of them, a part they could embrace or hate.
Crawling over while keeping the covers lifted, he settled his body against the tan, muscular, and lean one in his bed. He kept his eyes closed as he did so, relaxing into the warmth that the other body provided. They were still propped up against the headboard as they embraced each other, finding comfort in the fact that someone was there. Someone was there and they weren't going to leave until they allowed them to.
Mentally, he sighed in relief that the other male didn't wrap his arms around his back but instead let one of his hands settle on his waist and the other on his hip. He let one of his arms wrap around his neck and the other wrap around his chest, shifting downwards because he was taller and he wanted to lay on his chest. It reminded him of when he spent sleepless nights with his stand, savoring the warmth that Gold Experience Requiem let off. Now it was someone else, another human being with a different amount of body warmth. It was enlightening and scary to let someone other than himself so close.
Slowly, they slid down the headboard until they were laying on the multitude of pillows he had. He laid his head on the other's chest, too scared to move and disrupt the balance they had created. He was content, he was sated, he was happy.
Laying in silence, he continued to look at the wall through the darkness, knowing that despite all of this he wasn't going back to sleep. He couldn't fathom it, falling back into the dream world after what he just witnessed. It was a death sentence. A finger rubbing against the pale skin of his waist and lips pressing against his hair lifted him from his thoughts. Unfamiliar, but comforting, nonetheless. "You should go to sleep."
Blinking, he didn't tear his gaze away from the wall of his cage, shifting his hand that was around the other male's back since he now knew they were allowed to move. Removing his arm from around him, his hand traveled down his chest, feeling the solid muscle under him. It was grounding, knowing that he was safe. He liked the feeling, so he kept his hand pressed against the other's six-pack. "You first."
Really, it was childish. They were both childish, the violet-eyed boy running to the oceanic blue-green-eyed boy because of his past. But the other let him in because he too was running from his past. Separate, they lived in fear, but together, they lived in only each other. The here and now, the skin against skin, the words that only they could hear. It was their safe space, where they ruled themselves and their actions. Control was feeble and often flipped from person to person, but here, they held it, all of it, together.
"Alright."
"Okay."
They closed their eyes.
It wasn't instant, no, sleep did not come easy to either of them. It stayed just out of the reach for most of the night, the moonlight on the floor starting to lessen as the night went on. They stayed glued to each other throughout all of it, and eventually, the violet-eyed boy returned to his dreamland. The other male could tell from the way his breathing evened out, listening to his heartbeat and feeling the rise and fall of his chest. Soon after, listening to the sound of his steady breathing, the oceanic blue-green-eyed boy fell asleep.
Sadly, their rest didn't last as long as one could have hoped, but the fact that they both ended up going back to sleep was an accomplishment that they cherished. The alarm clock on the nightstand went off at 6 AM, rousing the both of them from their sleep. Eyes fluttering open, he could see sunlight melting onto the wall that he stared at in the dark. The male he was laying on grumbled about the noise, and he sat up, reaching over him to turn off the alarm clock.
Both semi-awake, they stared at each other, this time in the sunrise instead of the darkness. The moonlight that didn't reach across the room didn't do them justice. Orange painted the pale and tan skin respectfully, melting into pink and light blues. They could take in all of each other now that they could see, silent and breathless as they did so.
"I have to get ready." The words left his lips despite him not wanting them to. It was the sorry truth; he did have to get ready for the day and then get to work. He would have to leave their bubble of comfort to do that, though.
"I understand." The violet-eyed boy spoke in return, both of them continuing to stare at each other in spite of what they just said. Finally, the oceanic blue-green-eyed boy pulled himself away from the other male, climbing off of him and dragging his hand down his chest and orange-painted tan muscles. He stood now, watching as the other pulled the cover over his head so he couldn't see. Warmth filled him at the action. He kept his word, he wouldn't look.
Turning around, he walked over to his closet and looked for the suit he would wear for the day. Not caring much, he picked a random one and began to make his way into the bathroom, not minding if the other male stayed in his bed. Still, he spoke, "You should get ready too, before someone comes looking for you."
Rolling over under the covers, the violet-eyed boy snorted at the words. "No one else is awake at this hour besides you. I have a solid hour until I'm supposed to be up."
Nodding, he looked down at the suit that was in his arms, debating for just a moment on getting back in the bed. Sadly, he couldn't, he had to water all the plants around the house and in the garden after getting ready, hopefully eat breakfast with everyone else, and then work. If he went back to sleep now, he would have to cut into his breakfast time with the gang to water all the plants, therefore making him skip breakfast and just go straight to work after. "Alright, you can stay, just don't oversleep."
A snap of fingers, although muffled from the fact he was under the covers, and he could tell that the other male was doing finger guns at him. "Gotcha boss." Chuckling at the action and the words, he shook his head as he opened the bathroom door and stepped inside.