Chapter Text
Venti has added Albedo, Amber, Diluc, Eula, and 6 others to the chat!
Diluc: not this again
Amber: venti this his happened like in 201920 other genshin chatfics already, yk whats goin to happen
Venti: look if i didnt make this there’d be no content. no content means no fic. and no fic means we, as in the we of this fic and not the canonical we, wouldn’t exist.
Amber: ...hh, fine, ur right
Jean: Hello everyone. Venti, what is the purpose for this group chat? And, what do you mean by “we wouldn’t exist”?
Venti: i can answer one of those questions
Lisa: the second one, preferably
Venti: except the second one.
Lumine: bro there’s only 2
Venti: that’s the point
Venti: anyways, i made this group chat bc we need content on this account. so yes.
Jean has renamed the groupchat to “mondstadt students"
Venti: place ur bets! how long is that name going to last? starting bid: 1000 mora!
Kaeya: i bet 2000 mora on two hours
Mona: yk... u can.., give it to someone..., than spend it..,
Amber: 2500 on one and a half hours
Aether: amber no
Lumine: 10000 mora on half an hour
Aether: even you, lumine?!
Eula: 15000 mora on five minutes.
Jean: The groupchat name will not be changed.
Venti: i literally can’t change it what
Kaeya: jean is a hacker confirmed!?1!1!?
Jean: I have locked it, nobody can change it except me.
Lisa: unless someone takes your phone.
Jean: That feels vaguely threatening.
Lumine: localdrunks.png @Kaeya @Venti @Rosaria this u?
Kaeya: i do not wish to be associated with this
Venti: i’m underage i would never drink
Rosaria: i’m not an alcoholic
Lumine: y’all, ik like 20 alcoholics and you 3 are 18 of them
Venti: what abt the other 2
Lumine: the other 2 is the he who shall not be named father of ms. diona
Aether: who is ms. diona’s father
Lisa: i believe that’s sir draff. he visited the school once, but he left shortly after. he’s in the history of the school as well.
Aether: how did u type that so fast
Jean: Lisa’s a fast typer.
Lumine: not as fast as mrs. fischl...
Aether: pls just hearing her name gives me fright
Mona: wait who’s mrs. fischl again
Aether: mrs. fischl is the literature teacher
Lumine: who literally can text the entire harry potter series 1-8 in like 5 minutes
Mona: is she the blond teacher with the cool eyepatch
Eula: yes, that is mrs. fischl.
Mona: fuckk
Eula: ?
Mona: she is talking about something and she’s s t a r i n g at me
Amber: what’s she talking about?
Mona: i don’t know
Aether: she’s talking about shakespeare in old english
Amber: and?
Aether: she’s talking about romeo and juliet... but like rapping it. that’s how fast she’s talking
Mona: how the heck do you know what she’s saying
Aether: i’ve turned on captions
Mona: what.
Albedo: why am i in a groupchat with idiotic children
Lumine: we aren’t children ✋
Aether: but you are 👆
Amber: dang not even denying that we’re idiotic
Lumine: fuck off aether, “i simp for 2d daddies”
Aether: who allowed you to expose me
Lumine: myself
Aether: that means nothing
Lumine: and the laws of this society
Aether: tf u mean
Lumine: the laws of this new society decrees that as the younger sibling and twin, i must expose and harass the older sibling. this is the law that we have accepted into our society, and after the society accepts this, we can not change it, because the strings have been pulled and traps have been set. sibling laws are actually an elaborate plan made to control our families from the inside, and we must follow them, lest we be silenced.
Aether: what the fuck, lumine
Lumine: what the fuck indeed. since i have revealed this elaborate plan to you, it will not be long until i, along with everyone else who sees the message, shall be silenced.
Aether: is this why you always slam my doors open without knocking
Lumine: yes. that too.
Aether: ur lying
Diluc: no, that’s a true law. just look at kaeya.
Kaeya: i never did that! i was a kind and lovable boy like i am now, unlike your edgy ass
Diluc: the only ass that you’ve seen in your life
Kaeya: can’t deny that, and this is why we broke up
Diluc: no, we “broke up” because you literally killed my father
Kaeya: he died of natural causes, i had nothing to do with him
Diluc: you literally pushed him off a cliff
Kaeya: gravity is natural
Eula: Weren’t diluc and kaeya’s personalities reversed when they were kids
Diluc: how do u know
Eula: Clan secrets. ✨
Kaeya: yeah well my point still stands
Jean: Ahem. Not all siblings are like that, Barbara is nice to me and we’re happy.
Rosaria: depressedbarbara.png this her?
Jean: When was that taken?
Rosaria: just now, she entered the church to teach some of us the way of the bible or something
Jean: I must talk to her about taking care of her health after this.
Rosaria: so either u follow “the law of siblings” or you’re jean/barbara
Eula: True enough. In my clan, we use “the law of siblings” to eliminate rival clans.
Venti: im scared of what “eliminate” implies