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“I’m telling you, the jam isn’t in this aisle.”
Apollo rolled his eyes. “And I’m telling you this grocery store is just weird like that. Besides, how many times have you ever been here?”
The silence was telling. His sunglasses may have hid his eyes, but not the pout on his lips. “I hardly see how that’s relevant, Herr Forehead.”
“I’ve been here enough times to know where the jam is.”
The pout on Klavier’s lips disappeared, and were replaced with a more pensive look. “Care to make a little wager then?”
“A bet? From my goody two-shoes boyfriend?” he snorted as Klavier pouted again. “ Okay , let's hear it.”
That was enough to get Klavier to bounce back. The idea seemingly too good to maintain his theatrics. “If I’m right, you have to unroll your sleeves for the rest of the trip, and if I’m wrong, then I’ll agree to Eldoons tonight.”
He just wanted to poke fun at him for being short. A fact that was all the more obvious while wearing a hoodie that he was “borrowing” from Klavier’s closet. He wasn’t much for Gavinner’s merch, but this sweater was just too soft to pass up.
Also it smelled like him and it was like getting a hug from him even when they were in public like this. And it wasn’t like this was something Apollo did all the time. Given how much merch was in his closet, he was probably doing Klavier a favour anyway.
“Fine, but when we go to Eldoons, you’re paying.”
“I’ll see if there’s any bills in my wallet small enough.” Klavier teased, making Apollo feel justified in wanting to pay for his own meals.
‘If you’re gonna be a baby about it, I can pay.”
“Nein, it’s too late. You agreed to it, so I get to buy you Eldoons, and perhaps some real food later.”
“I’d argue with that, but I can’t really disagree. It is more salt than food.”
“Yet, you still eat there.”
“It’s cheap and I crave it if I don’t eat it for too long,” it’s the salt. That’s why he uses so much. It’s a brilliant marketing strategy.
Klavier shook his head. “You can eat it, but I’m going to have something else. I can’t have people thinking I’m on a salt water cleanse.”
“Broth is different than- We’re getting distracted. You go look for the jam where you think it is, and I’ll go get it where it actually is,” Apollo had a bet to win, and he wasn’t about to let Klavier argue at him until he’s forgotten what they were talking about.
“Alright, but when I get back, I’m going to put the jam in the cart and roll down your sleeves,” he kissed his cheek before giving him a little wave before heading to the refrigerated section.
He didn’t notice the jars on the wall next to him. The absolute fool. Eldoons was going to taste so good mixed with the taste of victory .
And with that squared away, Apollo could leisurely head down to the jams to pick one out. Now he could take his sweet time finding it.
Which was a problem, because he only vaguely remembered what the jam Klavier used looked like. Klavier was certain they could get it here, but now that Apollo was standing there with the cart, he had to wonder if it was actually a grocery store brand or if it was a fancy artisanal brand that he got from one particular orchard and they were both going to be wrong.
Apollo was prepared to argue that he was the most right, as he was where all the jams were, and Klavier was in the completely wrong section. He feels like he could still get Eldoons out of this.
“Hey! I didn’t expect to see another huge Gavinner’s fan out!” Someone enthusiastically yelled behind him.
So they were going to have to pick things up a little. Whatever, if Klavier brings the milk and eggs with him once he realizes how wrong he is, then they can just leave.
Or more realistically, Apollo’s going to have to put them back and get them once the impromptu meet and greet is over.
“You don’t have headphones in, do you?” the voice approached.
Apollo turned, only to have someone standing by him, looking directly at him. He looked behind him, but he seemed to be the only other person in the aisle. “Uh… Are you talking to me?”
“Yeah, you’re the only one that's here with vintage Gavinner’s merch. So how many of their concerts have you gone to? I myself have been to all of them right up until the end.”
“I, uh... I only went to the last one. This hoodie’s my boyfriend’s. I’m just borrowing it while we’re out.”
No sooner did those words leave his mouth, that Apollo realized that was the wrong thing to say. The fan’s face soured. “Doesn’t your boyfriend know how rare that hoodie is?! There’s only about 1000 of them in existence, they’re from their first tour?! You’re at least a fan of the Gavinner’s, right?”
“Not really,” dating Klavier hadn’t really changed that. He liked his work a lot better when he wasn’t trying so hard for that pop rock look, but unfortunately that was the Gavinner’s whole schtick.
“And they just let you, someone who doesn’t even like the Gavinner’s, wear precious and valuable merch like this?!”
Apollo hadn’t even considered the cost. If it was only one in about 1000 for a band like the Gavinner’s, it had to be ridiculously expensive. Klavier hadn’t told him that when he fished it out of his closet and put it on.
“He didn’t tell me it was valuable. He just said it was an old hoodie…” Apollo should’ve put the pieces together, but Klavier should’ve also stopped him from wearing a collector’s item outside of the house.
“Sell it to me.”
Apollo blinked. “What?”
“Sell it to me. Neither of you are appreciating it, and I’d argue that neither of you are really fans. If I owned it, it’d be truly appreciated.”
“No. I never claimed to be a fan, and I feel like I’m appreciating it just fine,” part of him just wants to leave, but he knows that if he goes to Klavier, Klavier’s going to get mobbed. But if he doesn’t go to him, Klavier’s never going to find him.
To Apollo’s horror, this fan grabbed his sleeve. “Then give it to me. I gave you the opportunity to sell it, and you passed it up. It should belong to a fan!”
The sleeve unrolled, limply falling over his hand.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?? Don’t touch me!” he was maybe starting to raise his voice, but it was justified! There were definitely eyes on them now. It was hard to ignore a full on fight building up at the grocery store.
“You stole my sweater!” they accused, now that there were eyes on them.
“It’s my boyfriend’s sweater! He’s letting me wear it!” it may have been irrefutable that it wasn’t his, but it certainly wasn’t this asshole’s sweater either.
“Apollo?” Klavier chimed in, as he squeezed through the forming crowd.
Apollo was both relieved and upset that he was here. Because he had to be brought into this mess, but now that he was here, he could be a witness to help prove Apollo’s innocence.
“So you’re the boyfriend in question? That he claims that gave him what’s clearly my sweater. I don’t think either of you would be able to prove you’re bigger Gavinner’s fans than me. And obviously the bigger Gavinner’s fan would have that sweater.”
Apollo couldn’t help but grin. Because he won. This was a fight they weren’t going to win, and they just tried to gatekeep Klavier out of his own band.
“I suppose that’s true, I am the one responsible for formally disbanding the Gavinner’s. A true fan wouldn’t have done that, ja?” he turned to Apollo, unrolling the other sleeve. “Though the prosecution would argue that the defense looks very cute in the sweater, and this one wasn’t even the one that we sold on that tour. It’s a prototype.”
Klavier spun Apollo around, pointing to his back. “See? None of our tour dates or locations are on it.”
The fan sputtered.
“I might be having a hard time getting clients, but I’m not taking this case…” Apollo grumbled, rolling back up the sleeves. “You never told me it was such an expensive sweater… Especially now that I know it’s one of a kind.”
“But you look so cute in it. Especially with the sleeves down,” he teased, trying to unroll them again.
“Hey!” Apollo huffed as he swatted his hand away. “I know for a fact you didn’t win the bet. I’ve been waiting here in front of the jam wall.”
“I couldn’t help it, you look so cute with the sleeves all flopped over your hands,” he said, as if most things didn’t fall over his hands thanks to his wide shoulders.
“So this is the part where you say, ‘wow Apollo. Looks like you’re right! You’re so smart and cool!’ because I was right and now we’re going to eat Eldoons.” he smirked, his sleeves back to where they should be.
“Wow Apollo. Looks like you’re right. You’re so smart and cool,” Klavier parroted back sarcastically.
“Oh fuck off .”
“What? I said what I was supposed to say. Surely there’s nothing wrong with that. Am I not allowed to comment on how smart and cool my boyfriend is?” Klavier leaned forward and flicked Apollo’s ungelled bangs.
“Not in that tone you’re not. I think you’re just being a sore loser because someone doesn’t know where they keep jam.”
Klavier scoffed at the very notion.
“Can...Can I get your autograph? I’m a really big fan,” the guy from earlier cut in, seemingly having found their words.
“After how you treated Mein Schatzi? While we’re out grocery shopping? Absolutely not!” Klavier stated, letting Apollo be smug, because for once he had the moral high ground. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to go. Mein Schatzi has won a bet, and now I have to allow him to poison himself.”
Klavier plucked a jam off the shelf, no doubt they would be back later, because someone didn’t pick a jam he liked and couldn’t deal with it until they were out.
But that was a later problem, and Apollo was going to take in this victory, even if he knew that it was so unbelievable, that no one was going to believe this ever happened, not even people who knew him personally.
And that might’ve been the worst part about this.