Work Text:
It's morning.
An unusually lonely one.
Kaeya accidentally made two coffees out of habit and now he's standing there, staring at the empty seat Albedo used to occupy. There's a certain yearning tugging at his heartstrings when he imagines the sight of him smiling up at him from the dining table.
When had that seat been empty? Since a week ago, to be exact. But for the cavalry captain, it felt like everything just happened yesterday.
With a sigh, he emptied the other cup of its contents into the sink and slumped down on his usual seat which was across from Albedo's. The dull ache returns again, like a stubborn stain that could never be washed.
Where did they go wrong? Why did they have to separate? The answer was simple, both of them had their fun. And now that the fun was over, they realised a relationship between the both of them was not worth pursuing.
At least that's how Albedo said— for the sake of letting him down gently. They would've been lying if they said no feelings were ever involved.
They've had moments, ones he could still imagine so vividly in front of him. The sight of Albedo sat in front of him, reading a paper on his latest experiment while drinking coffee. When he sees Kaeya staring at him, he raised a brow.
"You look beautiful."
His mouth formed the words. It felt normal for him to say that, even as Albedo was no longer there.
Everything was fine. They both agreed to break up, and yet why does not being able to see him again bother him so much?
Why do the memories left behind plague him like a nightmare?
It's foolish for him to cling to a time he so treasured after it's gone. Because he can't ever return to those days again. He knew that better than anyone.
Kaeya had to force himself out of the dining room to drink his coffee in the living room instead, but then he realised the couch was much worse. Suddenly the piece of furniture feels so spacious, like there's a space that he expected to be occupied.
Kaeya sighed, resigning to his fate. He decided to just get on with it and finish his coffee. Otherwise, he'd be late for work.
He locked the door behind him after he left.
Kaeya made his way towards headquarters early, most days. He wanted to be able to look around for a bit before actually going to work.
And of course, he just had to bump into the alchemist.
"Oh, hello, Kaeya," Albedo spoke in a monotonous voice.
"Why, good morning. You're up early," Kaeya managed coolly. He was good at faking, no matter how much it ached and threatened to tear his heart in half.
"I have to go to Dragonspine today, so I woke up early to get supplies," Albedo said, matter-of-factly.
Another painful pang follows, Kaeya persevered.
"I see. Well, take care up there."
"Of course."
They both parted ways. Kaeya is relieved for once that the conversation didn't continue. It was far too stuffy, too awkward that they spoke like nothing happened.
But it's not like he could be angry or bitter about it either, this was a mutual agreement. They ended on good terms.
So what is this?
Was it regret?
Reminiscence?
Grief?
Or was it the fact that he actually didn't want to lose Albedo to begin with nagging at him? About that, Kaeya Alberich was well aware.
He could fool Mondstadt. He could fool Albedo. But he could never trick his own heart. Part of him dreads the thought that he could never hold him again.
Part of him dreads imagining Albedo with another.
It's selfish of him to feel this way when he was the one who let it happen but, what can he do? He didn't want to make Albedo stay just because he asked him to.
Ah, that's what bothered him.
The fact that Albedo chose to leave him. Just like everyone else.
His father. His foster father. His brother. Everyone left him behind. He thought he learned his lesson but then...he let Albedo in.
Only to be left behind again.
When he snapped out of his thoughts, he finds himself in front of Angel's Share. It's far too early for a drink. But at least getting some alcohol in his system will help him forget, even for a moment.
He's not surprised to see Diluc's disapproving look when he sauntered into the tavern and took a seat at the bar.
"Can't you wait until noon? You're—" Diluc stopped speaking when he saw Kaeya's exhausted expression. "Don't come to me if you're unwell."
"Or what? You'll tell on me?" Kaeya managed, an easy smile slotting itself on his lips as if by design. "I didn't know you were such a snitch, Diluc."
Diluc huffed, knowing full well that he was deflecting whatever it was. He WAS his big brother after all; part of him still sees him as a younger sibling (he would die before admitting it, though). So obviously he's worried when he sees him like this.
It's the same look Kaeya had when Crepus found him in front of their house. Alone, shivering and lost. The colour of his eyes were like a night without stars; dark and empty. The only difference is that he's trying to mask his expression this time, and Kaeya had grown taller since then.
"Whatever. I still won't give you too much because you have work." Diluc turned around to grab the bottle from the shelves.
"Thanks."
There was no sarcasm in his voice or playful lilt. He sounded actually grateful.
"No need to thank me."
Then came the silence. Even the redhead found the silence somewhat stuffy. Usually Kaeya would pester him as he worked. But lately he hasn't been doing any of that. He shouldn't pry. He really shouldn't. It's none of his business.
The bard arrives not so shortly after. His music filled the tavern and served as background noise while Diluc worked and Kaeya drank.
One shot, and he left Angel's Share to go to work.
Kaeya distracted himself by doing various tasks for the day. He even took half of Jean's load for himself. He needed to do something so that's he doesn't have to be alone with his thoughts. Anything was better than sitting there and wondering about someone he wanted to stay.
With Albedo in Dragonspine, it was easier for him to focus. He didn't have to worry about bumping into him. Maybe he just needed some space from the alchemist and he would be over it.
Right?
Connected the future and thoughts that should’ve been lost
We will continue on the path following the days we can’t return to
No matter from now on, and even if you are not here
When we wave our hands to the two of us from that day
It could make it start to move
And drive to that future
—Halzion, YOASOBI.