Chapter Text
YEAR ONE
“I think you need a welcome mat.” Ahsoka was standing with her back to him, hands on her hips, scrutinizing their entranceway like it personally offended her.
At the door to the living room, Rex paused, boxes piled in his arms. “I’ll tell you what I need, for you to stop worrying about interior design and go help Fives with the couch.”
Rolling her eyes expertly - really, she had perfected the craft - and tucking a strand of her blue-and-white box braids behind her ear, Ahsoka moved across their bare living room to the window that overlooked the street below. Her shoes left tracks of dust on their blank floors - dammit , he hated when she was right. “Jango’s with him.”
“Even more reason to help,” Rex paused as his top box started slipping, he fumbled for its cardboard edge, shoulder knocking against the door frame, “wait. Can you-”
Already at his side with a steadying hand, Ahsoka stopped their box of mugs from sliding out of his grasp and smashing to powder, pointing out their window at the same time. “Look how close you are to campus. You can see the clocktower behind the Telus building.” Together they wobbled to the kitchen counter, boxes thumping out of Rex’s arms onto the veneer with less delicacy than they should have. “I’ll be able to walk from your apartment to mine in less than ten minutes, this is perfect.”
Rex nodded his thanks, moving back to the towering stack of boxes they had thrown haphazardly into the apartment before attempting the bigger items. All their beds were set up, and his brothers and father were carrying the living room furniture down below. Peering tentatively out the window, Rex caught sight of Cody and Boil trying to drag both armchairs - fresh from Facebook marketplace - up the steps at once. Of course his entire family had decided to drive three hours from Coruscant to help move them in.
Shifting his gaze across the skyscrapers that grew jagged over their city block, Rex found the flat brown sandstone of the clocktower nestled among the trees in the distance. It was true, he could see the University of Atollon from his apartment window. It had been over four years since Rex had last been on campus, walking the stage for his undergraduate degree - and it would only be three years until Ahsoka did the same. If he traced a line down from the trees to the student housing hidden by the walls of the office block to his right, he knew exactly where her own apartment was hidden.
“How often are you going to be over here anyways?”
“Only every weekend,” she shot back, ferrying more boxes from the living room to the kitchen. “Also every other evening. Maybe sometimes in the morning too.”
Down the hallway which led to the stairwell, Rex could hear the pained grunts and frustrated shouts that meant his family was approaching. He grabbed another stack of boxes clear of the floorboards and followed her. “Should have gotten the twins bunk beds and given you the other room.”
He heard her laugh before he saw it, her shoulders thrown back, blue eyes crinkled at the corners. “I’m joking, oh my God. Can you imagine if I was over here that much? Neera would kill me.” She set her armful down, careful, nudging past him before he could do the same. “No, I’ll probably only visit on the weekends. Don’t want to spend too much time around you boys.”
Somehow, already, only one day into the school year, Rex doubted that very much.
By the end of the evening they were crowded around the coffee table, eating the pizza Jango had ordered before the drive back on napkins because their plates were still in a box. Cody was in Fives’ room, hammering shelves into the walls with the occasional curse at a dropped nail. Pouring his brother a glass of water from the tap, Rex watched as Echo painstakingly scribbled every detail of his treatment onto a sheet of paper that would be easier for their father to manage than the dozens of emails he’d already been sent.
“And where’s the hospital?”
“It’s a twenty minute drive. Down past campus, by the football stadium and the aquatic centre,” Ahsoka gestured to a map on her phone.
Traipsing down the hallway while his father mused over bus routes, Rex passed Cody the drink. His brother paused, resting the hammer on the half-finished shelf, before he accepted, scraping the back of his arm over his forehead.
“I could have done that.”
Cody shrugged, mouth on the rim of the glass. “I don’t mind. Besides, the better these shelves are put in, the less likely Fives is to hurt himself doing something stupid.”
Laughing to hide the sharp indignation that burrowed under his nails at Cody’s insinuation that his work wouldn’t be good enough, Rex tested the lightswitch. The bulb was flickering. Oh well, at least they had a parking stall included in the rent.
“It’s going to be weird going back to Coruscant,” his brother admitted, handing back the glass before adjusting his grip on the nail he had wedged in the wood.
“What do you mean?” Rex asked, before Cody could start hammering again.
“Just - not having the three of you there. It will be weird. Now there’s only three of us with dad.”
What irritation Rex had been feeling was replaced by the deep, burning sensation of guilt inside his chest. “You don’t even live at home, Codes. Boil’s house is on the other side of town. This is the second time I’ve moved out, I’m sure dad’s used to it. Besides, it’s only a three hour drive, forty-five minute flight. We can-”
“I didn’t say-'' Cody breathed, sharp, and he was right. He didn’t say what Rex thought he might. He didn’t say it’s not your fault . Would he have even wanted to hear it if Cody had? When his brother winced, the scar around his eye crumpled. “It will be different. That’s all.”
Back in the living room, Jango was still grilling Echo.
“Dr. Azie?”
“His number’s on the sheet.”
“Your specialist?”
“It’s on the sheet - dad ,” Echo made a frustrated gesture and buried his head in his waiting hands, “everything is written down for you, okay?”
“Alright,” Jango crossed his arms, leaning back against the dusty wall. The older Cody got, the more Rex could see the resemblance between him and their father - though Jango’s hair was mostly grey now and the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes were deep. Sometimes he missed the days when they had all looked like carbon copies of one another. When both sets of twins, Echo and Fives and Waxer and Boil, had been so small that you couldn’t tell them apart. Only Rex stood out, with his blond curls - where they came from no one really knew; their mother had had brown skin and black hair like the rest of them.
Chewing on his thumbnail, Fives shot Rex a lopsided grin over the back of the couch. Rex knew that he was waiting for their father to leave so he could open a housewarming drink.
As though he sensed it, Jango rose unsteadily to his feet. The knees of his work pants were coated in the fine beige powder that they had tracked onto the floor from the street below. “It’s getting dark, I think we’d better start driving.” He pointed a warning finger at Rex. “Get a vacuum. And make sure you wash those couches.” The finger roved across the living room to Echo, “Every appointment on time. And I want you to email your professors tonight and let them know you’ll be missing class.” Finally Fives, “Don’t get in too much trouble. And don’t drive too fast; I still see your insurance statements.”
Easing himself off the couch cushions, Fives wrapped his arms around their father in a placating hug that was almost a headlock. “When have I ever gotten a speeding ticket?”
Laughing, Jango threw him off, “Come home and see - I’ve got the collection taped to my fridge.”
After Cody emerged from Fives’ room with his toolkit in hand, and Boba shuffled over from the corner where he had been hiding on his phone, they exchanged goodbyes at the door.
“Good to see you, Ahsoka.” She had her chin hooked on Jango’s shoulder; he patted her back in a one armed hug, the other on the doorknob. “Keep them out of trouble, alright?”
“I’ll do my best, sir.” She transferred her hug from him to Boba, who gave a very intentional and dramatic roll of his eyes at the contact.
“Dad, you should know better than that,” Rex chided. Boil’s arms were around him, and then Boba’s - taller already than even the last time they had hugged. “She’s the cause, not the cure.”
Once Jango was striding down the steps, his closing remarks echoing in the stairwell, Cody hugged Fives and then Echo, his toolkit knocking against their backs. Rex was next, and he didn’t miss the second of hesitation between their embrace, Cody’s eyes uncertain before his arms were there and gone and he moved on to Ahsoka, calling her little sister in an affectionate tone that Rex hadn’t heard directed at him in a long time.
As soon as the front door was shut, and Fives was pouring three identical glasses of vodka cran, and Ahsoka was bounding to the washroom, Rex wandered once more to the window. Slowly, the city lights were flickering on, the distant skyscrapers already inky black and spotted gold. It was too dark to see the clock tower, and if he turned to the right, he couldn’t even make out the outline of the harbour either. Rolling away from the curb, Jango honked his horn once.
With a sigh, Rex watched their truck, still dragging the uHaul trailer, turn onto a side street and then disappear. He folded his arms over his stomach. He was cold.
###
His Master's program started like anything else. Slowly, and boring, and all of a sudden it was too much all at once and he was cursing himself for ever going back to school in the first place, and staying up doing research until four in the morning in the second place because everything was just so interesting .
It was a good idea, he had to keep reminding himself, with a Masters in Kinesiology and a degree from the teachers college he had options and fallbacks. He liked what he did. So what if all the kids in his classes were a few years younger than him. So what if coffee didn’t work the way it used to. So what if he was a three hour drive from home - from Cody and Boil and Boba and their dad.
At least he got to keep an eye on Fives and Echo. At least he and Ahsoka were close. At least he wasn’t alone.
###
On Wednesdays, Ahsoka got out of her crystallography class ten minutes before he got out of his graduate seminar. They would meet in the student centre, bending over iced coffees, and debriefing each other on their days before Rex would walk her to her gender and sexuality studies lecture. Their routine grounded him; he felt oriented for the rest of the day, like someone had turned him right-side-up and given him a pat on the head and a juice box - it was a wonder he had even gotten through his undergrad without her.
He missed Cody.
Loitering outside her class was where he met Feral, her history of matriarchies TA who drew up short the first time he spotted Rex.
“I think you’re in my leadership class,” Feral had called at him around a pile of textbooks, as Ahsoka stiffened visibly at Rex’s side. And that was that.
Feral liked to cuff his jeans. He also liked to vape, which at first, Rex thought was really funny, and then he thought it was almost endearing in a way. He wanted to crush the stupid vape in his fist everytime he saw it. It was the most ridiculous thing he had ever seen. It was the most attractive thing he had ever seen. He needed to run to clear his head.
Whenever they watched videos in class, Feral had to pull a pair of crooked glasses out of the front pocket of his backpack. Sometimes when he smiled it looked like a grimace. Once they had noticed each other, they sat together for nearly every lecture, only joined occasionally by one or two of their other friends.
After class they would go to the library and tap away at their essays together. Feral’s glasses would slip to the end of his nose when he graded papers - and suddenly Rex understood Cody’s ramblings about his professor husband a whole lot better. Their visits were often cut short by Feral’s phone, which would ring every day at three-thirty.
“My brothers,” he said, one day, returning to their table with his phone clenched in one hand. He was rolling his eyes fondly, but there was something nervous in the way he tapped the bottom of his water bottle against his textbook. “They like to know what I’m doing. It’s honestly annoying - but both of them work out of town so I can’t really blame them. The price of being the youngest, I suppose.” He was rambling, flicking a pencil between his fingers. Only slightly alarmed, Rex pushed his notebook closed. “You said you had brothers too, right? Twins? One in computer science, one in business?”
“I actually have six,” Rex deadpanned, offering a wry smile when Feral’s eyes widened, almost with fear.
He was so caught up in trying to make the tension dissipate, in trying to make his friend laugh, that he had spoken automatically. He had forgotten that that wasn’t precisely true, anymore. Once his unintentional lie caught up to him, Rex’s organs flipped inside his stomach. There was a moment where it hurt to smile, his cheeks plastic - how could he have forgotten ?
He could count in Obi-Wan - his brother-in-law now - that made six. Might as well throw in Anakin while they were at it, and Ahsoka was as close as any brother. There. Eight.
They moved to studying at the apartment shortly after that. At times Rex lamented the loss of his personal space, but then Feral’s knee would knock against his under the kitchen table and he would think maybe it wasn’t so bad. Maybe he shouldn’t mind.
###
“Can you not sleep with my TA?” Ahsoka was sitting on the floor with her back against the couch, eyes fixed to their television screen as her character raced Fives in whatever car-based video game they were playing.
Stirring a pot of chili on the stove, Rex shook his head. “Who said I was sleeping with Feral?”
“Well,” said Echo, hunched over his laptop as he tapped away strings of code for class. His hair was fluffed into tufts that stuck every which way - and yet he still refused to let Rex buzz it for him - “he was here last night. And the night before. And Friday, I believe.”
At Ahsoka’s cackling, simultaneously at his flush and the fact that Fives’ pixelated car had just spun off the road, Rex waved a spoon threateningly at Echo. “Traitor. No chili for you. And don’t even think of starting with that ‘I have cancer’ nonsense.”
“Hey, don’t bring him into this,” Ahsoka leaned over the back of the couch, both arms dangling, the controller still caught in her grip -- Rex had no doubt she would whip it at his head if she felt he was being too mean. Beside her, Fives was shaking a fist towards the screen, only half paying attention to their conversation. “Look at it this way, Rex, how would you feel if I was sleeping with yours?”
Rex’s mind flitted to Adi Gallia, a PhD student with nimble hands. She could wrap sprains so fast the rest of them struggled to imitate her, much less keep up. Her serious stare and dry smile were also exactly Ahsoka’s type - dammit . “That would be illegal, kid.”
“I’m nineteen Rex, not twelve .”
Fighting the urge to laugh nervously, or give her a lecture, or both, Rex opted to snap back a joke instead - one that made Echo snort into his cup of tea. She was his best friend; she was the closest he had to a little sister.
Sometimes he forgot they were both supposed to be grown up.
###
“Oh, fuck me right up the ass.”
“Are you alright?”
“Do I look alright?” Fives snapped, before bringing a hand, sharp, to the bridge of his nose. “No, I— godammit, I was going to pick up Echo after class for his radiation, but I have no fucking idea where I put his health card, and I’m already running late -”
“Hey,” Rex set down his laptop, rising and moving with caution towards his little brother; Fives looked just about ready to punch anything that came within a two foot radius, “it’s alright. Where do you think you saw it last?”
“In the kitchen, in the - I don’t know,” Fives made a frustrated motion towards the living room door, “he left it on the island for me.”
“Alright, okay,” Rex held up his hands, pacifying, “we’ll start there.”
They searched for five minutes in complete silence, before Fives got resentful enough to start slamming cupboard doors.
“Fives…”
“I know, I know.”
“We paid the damage deposit.”
“I know - fuck!” There was Echo’s health card, sitting pristinely on top of a tub of icecream in the freezer. “Oh fuck me,” Fives laughed, breathless, his hands on his knees.
The looming shadow that had been growing in Rex’s lungs evaporated into smoke. Swiping the car keys off the counter, he waved them towards the door, his breath uneven, peer review unfinished on the couch. There were tears rolling over Fives’ cheeks - Rex could pretend that they were a result of his roughened laughter… but even still. “I’ll drive. Come on. Bring your bookbag - you can work on your feas report on the way.”
Sometimes he wished he were a twin. It would hurt, he knew, watching Fives pack up his book bag with a flush crawling up the back of his neck, but at least it would hurt for a reason. He would belong to someone - the way he used to feel like he belonged to Cody. He wouldn’t be alone.
Fives slipped the health card into his wallet with a nod and a shaky smile, and Rex couldn’t imagine any single one of his wonderful brothers caring about him that much.
###
“Do you want to work on your peer lecture?”
Rex rolled his head over the crick in his neck. “I’m kind of sick of it, to be honest.”
Yawning, Feral pushed his textbook off the comforter, it landed with a thunk against the carpet. “Last time was good, but maybe you could, I don’t know, put some spark into it.”
They were sprawled over Rex’ double bed and the rest of the apartment was quiet: Echo was napping in preparation for an all-nighter and Fives was nowhere to be found. Stacking his own notebooks on the bedside table, Rex resisted the urge to look too insulted. “ Spark ?”
“A joke, a smile, something .”
“There’re jokes in there,” Rex protested, his stomach turning at the way Feral was already settling against the pillows.
“Maybe you should practice one more time.”
“There’s nothing to practice,” Rex lied, he knew his presentation was good, it got the point across, his hands would stop shaking as soon as he started talking. They would. He told Feral as much, “It has everything it’s supposed to have in it. Jokes are just extra.”
“Aye aye, sir.” Feral was smiling at him lazily, expectantly. Rex breathed through his apprehension. It felt like he was preparing for sprints. He pulled off his shorts and then his shirt with the sensation that at any moment his coach would blow the whistle and yell at him to get in line.
Years ago, they used to run the gauntlet at practice. They would send one boy through with the ball and he would be crushed on all sides - body to body, limb to limb. Even here in his bedroom he longed for the phantom touch of people all around him, scraping at his arms, knocking him with shoulders and knees, trying to wrest the ball from his grasp before he pushed through to the other side, ears ringing and lip bloody.
He peeled off his socks, one by one. This didn’t feel like that. It never felt like that.
Sometimes Rex wished it would. Sometimes he thought the contact, skin on skin, without everything else involved would be comforting.
But there was always after.
###
He was running nearly every morning. Rolling out of bed before the sun molded itself together on the horizon. Looping up and around downtown, ending by campus with his heart in his throat, curling down to the pier until he couldn’t tell what was sweat and what was seaspray in his eyes. Eventually, legs on fire, his lungs clenching hungrily in his chest, he would end in a sprint a block away from their apartment and walk the rest of the way.
When he ran the fuzz of adrenaline covered everything from the night before. Gasping for air, pushing and pushing, he ran so hard he couldn’t remember his own name, let alone the touch of Feral’s fingers over his ribs.
The wind would brush like a kiss against his lips and he would pick up the pace, feet thundering against the pavement. Sometimes, if he got back too early, and his pulse was a mess behind his ears and his stomach was boiling, he would run the fire escape, clamouring up and down until he was sure everyone in his entire building was awake.
Finally stepping back inside, the hem of his t-shirt pulled against his sopping forehead, Rex comforted himself with the knowledge that showering and making breakfast and heading to his early morning class meant that he wouldn’t be touched for at least another couple of hours.
There were three new holes in his sneakers.
###
Cody and Obi-Wan drove up for Thanksgiving, bringing four bottles of wine that didn’t last nearly long enough, and a cardboard box stacked high with every kind of casserole Jango knew how to make.
After dinner, Rex pulled a blanket over the futon as Obi-Wan tutted disapprovingly at their rug-less entryway and Cody assessed the contents of their fridge with a shake of his head. Ahsoka had already drifted off on their best armchair.
“How is she doing, then?” Obi-Wan was suddenly at his elbow. His brothers had started a hushed game of cards at the far end of the kitchen.
“She’s alright.” Rex replaced the pillowcases with fresh ones, his brother-in-law holding out an assisting hand, eyes locked on his younger sister. There was new grey at Obi-Wan’s temples. When had that happened? They hadn’t been away from home that long, surely. “I think she misses you and Anakin.”
Sighing, Obi-Wan folded the old pillowcases with one crisp motion. “I wanted to tell her at dinner, but Anakin insists that it should be a surprise. He and Padmé are moving back into our father’s house once the twins are born.”
“You’re joking.” At the twinkle in Obi-Wan’s eyes, Rex felt his face crack into a grin. “That’s fantastic. She’ll be so happy - your father’s house?” Obi-Wan and Ahsoka’s brother had been living in Naboo with his wife ever since their honeymoon, nearly five years now. To have all of them back together in Coruscant…
Rex might as well have been thinking out loud for the understanding look Obi-Wan gave him. Ahsoka was independent, she was the first person in their family to leave Coruscant for university, she had too many friends to count, most of whom they barely knew, she spent almost every weekend at Rex’s apartment - but when she was home, she was lonely.
Trailing Rex to the linen closet, Obi-Wan’s fond expression was permanently molded to his face.
“How is he?” Rex finally asked, nodding down the hallway in Cody’s direction and piling at least three more blankets into Obi-Wan’s waiting arms. He had hosted his brother-in-law often enough to know that he got colder than a glacier at night.
Nudging the closet door closed, Obi-Wan’s eyes softened. His smile was sad. “Alright. Worried about Echo, of course. But he’s been helping your dad cover at work. Nearly threw out his back last week fighting a rogue sprinkler.”
Rex winced at that, a reminder that his brother was old . It felt like thirty-six was more ancient than he would ever be. Thirty-six and married and owning a house and going to bed at nine-thirty and nearly throwing his back out - God, when had all of this happened? It was only yesterday that Cody had swung Rex into his arms after he fell off his bicycle, had wrestled with him in the backyard after a game of rugby turned sour, had crouched in front of Rex in a memory that was almost too fuzzy to remember and stuck his tongue against one of his wobbly teeth until it was dangling by a thread, snickering gleefully when Rex squealed in disgust.
“That’s good, I’m -” He cleared his throat, “I’m glad he’s doing okay.”
And Obi-Wan turned to him, his eyes bright. He started, “Rex, he -”
“Are you joining?” Fives called from the kitchen - the slam of the armchair footrest against the floor meant that Ahsoka had been startled awake. Round two was beginning, it seemed. Turning away, Rex considered uncorking the bottle of champagne they kept above the microwave.
“Texas hold ‘em,” Fives continued, without sparing a thought to their neighbours who were surely already asleep, “Someone please come break Echo’s winning streak.”
###
He dreamt of a street corner in the wealthy suburbs, where the houses had four-car garages and perfectly manicured rose bushes beneath the windows.
With Fives at his side, blowing on his hands against the cold, he sent a text to Cody: Hey. We finished helping the Farrs move in, can you come pick us up?
Night folded over them like the crest of a tidal wave, dark and gentle.
###
The next morning, they all leaned over the window and watched Cody and Obi-Wan exit the apartment building to the street below. As they ducked out into the rain, their brother pulled his jacket over his head like a makeshift umbrella. He ushered his husband underneath, gathering him close, and together they skipped around puddles until they reached their car, clearly laughing.
Something hurt somewhere in Rex’s chest. He didn’t know where or why.
###
The twins were born on a Monday; Padmé went into labour in the morning and was finished by mid-afternoon. Standing by the window, Rex took Ahsoka’s panicked phone call, the audio jumbled and staticky, she was running over to his apartment.
He hit the buzzer to let her in with his stomach balled in his throat. Across the city, the trees surrounding the clocktower had already turned a warm russet orange. There were maple leafs stuck to the outside of the windowsill.
Ahsoka skipped most of her classes and spent the majority of the day trying not to show how upset she was. “I’m their aunt,” she snapped at last, stabbing at the leaves of lettuce in the salad Fives had made with particular ferocity, “I should be there.”
“You should be,” Rex agreed, wincing as her fork bent, “It’s not your fault that you aren’t.”
Obi-Wan and Cody were able to go, and they Facetimed as soon as they were in the room. Both babies were equally tiny, fresh and pink, one bundled in green and the other and yellow. Almost asleep, Padmé whispered through the phone at Ahsoka, musing over names while Anakin sprawled, already passed out, over a seat in the corner.
“He fainted,” Padmé informed them smugly, “he said he wouldn’t and then he was on the ground.”
“It’s interesting when you think about it,” Obi-Wan had said, nearly shouting, holding the phone awkwardly so his beard was taking up most of the frame, “I know Cody and I are only married so it’s not quite right. But now we have three sets of twins in the family - that seems like a lot.”
And Rex’s heart flipped inside his chest while he did his best to laugh.
Once the call went silent, Ahsoka began to sniffle. He pulled the blanket over her knees, settling deeper into the cushions.
“I’m worried about Anakin.”
“One faint won’t hurt him,” Rex turned and Ahsoka was staring at her crossed fingers with watery eyes. Softening his voice, he looped an arm over the back of the couch. “He’ll be a great dad. You know he will.”
“He’s so young.” She shook her head, “And they’re so far away - by the time I’m done school they’ll be two already.”
“You’ll visit them.” Ahsoka was still biting her lip so he reached for the remote, flicking through the channels for a distraction. Although he didn’t want to admit it, he knew how she felt. Anakin was only a year younger than him, and - god - he couldn’t imagine having kids at any age, let alone twenty-five.
They had settled on Best in Show when Ahsoka finally spoke again, her voice muffled by the top of the blanket which she had yanked over her ears. “I wish our dad was here.” It must have cost her a lot to admit it, because she buckled forward as soon as the words left her mouth. Before Rex could pause the film or gather her close or do anything to help she snatched the remote off the coffee table, raising the volume to cover the stifled sound of her tears.
Rex fell asleep with Ahsoka’s head on his shoulder.
When he woke, it was to Fives scrounging around in the dark, his phone flashlight flicked on, and his house keys dangling between his teeth.
“Fives…”
“Ah shit, I was trying not to wake you.” His brother overturned a pillow on the far end of the couch. “Go back to sleep, it’s alright.”
Rubbing his eyes, Rex reached for his phone and blanched at the time. “What are you doing?”
“Looking for the car keys.”
“They’re on the kitchen table.” Fives’ flashlight drifted away, and Rex squinted at the figure of a woman with impossibly curly hair shadowed in the doorway. “Who’s that?”
“ That is Tiplar,” she gave an awkward little wave, transferring her weight from one foot to the other, “and we are going back to her place.”
“Oh,” Rex set his phone down again, careful not to jostle Ahsoka, who was snoring lightly, her mouth open like a guppy. “Have fun.”
“Trust me,” Fives’ voice sounded like it was coming from the other end of a tunnel, “I always do.”
###
“I don’t like Barriss.”
“And Barriss doesn’t like you- it all evens out.” Ahsoka had gone home for the weekend to visit the twins. She’d already sent Rex nearly a dozen photos, most of which he had saved to his camera roll.
“I’m serious.” Barriss wasn’t that bad. But Rex had yet to find a comfortable rapport with her. And sometimes her jokes were so grating they hurt.
Ahsoka cursed at him. She was folding laundry off-camera, her phone pointed up so that all Rex could see was her ceiling light and the corner of her Peach Pit poster. “You never like anyone I date.”
“That’s not true, I liked that one kid. That Bonteri kid.” That was false; he’d been the worst.
“Lux was part of my straight phase, Rex. You’re not allowed to like him.”
“Well you never like anyone I date either.”
There was a flurry of movement and then Ahsoka was back on camera, rolling her eyes. “Everyone you’ve dated is just a different shade of asshole.”
“Hey!”
“Seriously, you’re worse than Obi-Wan.”
“ Hey! That’s my brother you’re talking about.”
They were both laughing now. “You know I didn’t mean Cody . God knows he’s the only good one. Anyways, next week, double date. Me, you, Barriss, and Feral.”
The laughter stilled and died in Rex’s throat. “Feral and I aren’t dating.” Suddenly it was hard to look at his phone.
“What? Why?”
“I don’t want to.” What he had really said was: Look, I’m not sure I really like dating. Can we keep this casual? And Feral had nodded after only a second's hesitation. He was a good liar.
Ahsoka was quiet for a moment, and then she sighed. “Whatever. Next time the Cavs play I’m bringing her over.”
As soon as she hung up, Rex wandered from his bedroom into the kitchen. There was a fresh pot under the Keurig, and he still had a chapter’s worth of readings to get through before Monday.
“Was that Ahsoka?” Echo didn’t even look up from the screen of his laptop. Taking Rex’s silence as an answer he tapped away at the keyboard with a shake of his head. “Jesus, you two can’t even go a week without seeing each other. It’s almost pathetic.”
Pouring himself a steaming mug of coffee with a flourish, Rex thought it best not to mention that this apartment was the first time in their lives Fives and Echo hadn’t shared a room. He didn’t have enough energy left to pick a fight.
###
A blizzard and nearly ten inches of snow meant that the drive to Coruscant took over five hours instead of the usual three. Other than the commute, which Rex spent wishing he was deaf as Fives and Echo bickered over whose true-crime podcast to listen to, the rest of winter reading week passed all too quickly.
Their father kept the wood fire burning; they ate an assortment of casseroles and leftover christmas cookies. Jango flitted about, fretting, pouring Echo an extra bowl of stew and slipping four more pieces of rewena paraoa onto his plate and grumbling that he was too thin by half .
He was right. Rex skimmed his readings and shovelled the driveway and watched the twins toil away at a puzzle out of the corner of his eye. Before Fives had grown his signature goatee it used to be hard to tell them apart. Now, even if Fives shaved, it would be all too easy.
On their last night they took their battered skates to the outdoor rink, piling into Boil’s minivan with Rex, always the middle child, bundled into the trunk. Even with the ice fairly smooth and the spotlights blinding under the dark, cloudless sky, their game was a disaster.
Boba crashed into the ice and wouldn’t let anybody help him up. Cody kept rubbing at his knees one moment and trying to throw everyone into the boards the next. Fives tried to order a Tim Hortons delivery over the phone before dropping it and smashing it to bits. Rex scored four goals and only fell over on the last one.
“Cocky shit!” Boil called at him, his voice muffled by his scarf. He threw his stick at Rex’s skates when Rex flipped him off, creating a pile-up in which Echo took the advantage and scored five goals before the rest of them were on their feet.
They were miserable at hockey. Only Waxer had ever been any good.
###
“Do you want to go to the library?”
“I honestly think I’ll study better at home.”
“Okay… Do you want me to come over?”
Rex pressed his forehead, flat, against the cool exterior of the fridge. “I just want to focus today, maybe not, sorry.”
“We can meet up this weekend, if you want. Or you could come to my place.”
Wrenching the fridge door open with a jangle, Rex reached for a carton of eggs, transferring his phone from his right hand to his left as he did so. “Maybe.”
After hearing Feral huff on the other end of the line he contemplated feigning a bad connection. He wondered, briefly, if Ahsoka would get a failing grade if he was an asshole. Probably. But at this rate it might be worth it.
“How about… We study on campus next week?” Feral’s voice was careful and cold.
It took about two seconds to mull it over. Campus was neutral, campus was safe, campus didn’t have a queen-sized bed and two pillows. And Feral really did make their leadership readings easier. “Sounds good, yeah, I’ll see you then.”
###
The snow that coated the sidewalks meant that his sneakers were soggy everytime he tried to run through the slush. On Tuesdays and Fridays he spent the morning with Fives at the gym, hitting the faster button on the treadmill every five minutes. One of the perks of being a kinesiology student was that he knew almost every single person that haunted the gym before the sun rose. One of the negatives was that all of them saw him and Fives knock over a stack of mats by the water fountain.
“Who’s that?” Fives asked one morning, spotting Rex on the squat racks as he waved to Dr. Koon, the head of the physical education department at the teacher’s college.
“My professor,” Rex grumbled; waving had thrown him off his rhythm. He had to pause again to lift a hand to Adi Gallia, her locs tied back with a Nike headband. “Don’t even try,” he said, before Fives could open his mouth.
They ended their mornings with a walk down to the pier, sweat freezing to their clothes under their winter jackets. The harbour was frozen, slate grey, as far as it stretched to the horizon.
###
“This is ridiculous, you have to talk to him.”
“Why me?”
Echo was glaring daggers at the thermostat, a blanket over his shoulders and a toque over his ears. “I’m cold , Rex.”
Turning the page of his textbook, Rex bent back over his notes. “You talk to him, then.”
As he bunched his arms over his chest, Echo made a gesture that looked halfway between a middle finger and a strangling motion. “That’s not the --- fuck! He’ll listen to you. I know you’re cold too.”
Rex’s feet shuffled self-consciously in their slippers. Just as he turned away from his notes, mouth open, Fives joined them. Wearing nothing but a t-shirt and shorts, their brother leaned nonchalantly against the wall, as though he definitely had not been eavesdropping the entire time. “Listen to what?”
“Echo’s cold, Fives.”
“Not helping, Rex. And yes, I am cold, because someone likes to keep the apartment below twenty degrees in the winter .”
Frowning, Fives made an absent jab towards the thermostat, neglecting to mention that it was nearly the end of March. “I don’t see the problem. Nineteen degrees is tropical weather. Any more and I’m going to be sweating in my sleep.”
Angrily flapping the corner of his blanket, Echo swore. “It’s not reasonable . Even Rex is cold.”
Scanning lines with his pencil, Rex slumped further into his seat. “Leave me out of it.”
“See? The temperature’s fine where it is.”
“I disagree.”
“Well, it looks like it’s two-to-one, so--”
“I disagree,” said Echo, raising his voice, “and that means we’re turning the temperature up.” There was the sound of a tussle, and Rex buried himself in the waxy pages of his textbook, eyes blurring over the words inclusion and leadership and isolation , before a particularly loud thud drew his attention. Somewhere along their argument, Echo had gotten Fives tangled in his blanket. “Listen -- Fives, stop it -- listen, you have to agree with me. I have cancer.”
There was a beat, and then Fives’ eyes narrowed, his scowl flat. “You really want to play it that way?”
“Boys… ” Rex sighed, setting down his pencil. He had lost track of his readings hours ago.
Echo stuck out his jaw, eyes hard.
For a moment, Fives only stared at his twin, and then he jammed a finger against the thermostat, turning up the heat. “Fine. That’s one cancer card down. Only two left this month.”
###
“What happened? Want me to get Fives?”
“Nothing, it’s fine, I’m fine.” It wasn’t fine. Echo was leaning against the tub, his head tilted back against the bathroom wall. In the combined light of the white bathroom overheads and the shadow from the cabinet his skin looked damp and nearly grey. “Don’t get Fives,” he snapped, as Rex moved to stand, “he’s supposed to be studying for his final tomorrow.”
“Alright,” Rex dropped from his half crouch to the floor, sliding along the tile until he and Echo were shoulder to shoulder. Pressed against the skin of his arm, his brother radiated heat so sharp it was frightening. “Are you sick?”
“Just nauseous. I think I was staring at the screen for too long.”
“When’s your final?”
“Tuesday. And then two on Wednesday.”
“Have you thought, I don’t know -” Rex bit his lip. His brother had argued about it with their father enough. And Echo was clammy and shivering and this close Rex could see beads of sweat at his temples; he didn’t want to upset him, but - “Have you thought about taking a year off? Or a lighter course load?”
Pitching forward, his younger brother hooked an arm around his knees, already shaking his head.
“Look, I’m twenty-seven, and I won’t be finished school for another two years. It’s not the end of the world to take your time.”
“Me and Fives waited long enough to go to uni - I’m not going to drag it out any longer just ‘cause I feel a little sick.”
“Right,” said Rex, rubbing a hand slowly up the knobs of Echo’s spine, wondering, but not daring to say, if he would even have a choice.
###
Rex sat with his legs crossed on the seat of the armchair, Luke’s pink fist wrapped around his pinky finger.
Across from him, Obi-Wan was bouncing Leia on his hip, his movements just awkward enough that Anakin had to swoop in and take over before she started crying. Her feet up on the sofa, Ahsoka was poring through Obi-Wan’s collection of their father’s old geology textbooks. A room away, in the kitchen, Rex could hear Cody describing to Padmé his exact method for repainting the kitchen cabinets green.
Luke’s eyes were squinched shut, every so often he would give a kick of his little onesie-covered foot and Rex would adjust his grip. There was a little blond fuzz over his head that paled in comparison to the full head of dark curls Boba had had as a baby. Rex had held him, just like this, when he had been born - though that was nearly twenty years ago now. And he couldn’t remember paying this much attention. Everything about Luke was fascinating. The nails on his hands were tiny , his nose was impossibly small, his eyelashes so pale they were translucent.
“One hot chocolate, as requested.” Padmé swept into the study with a swirl of her cardigan. Passing the white ceramic to Ahsoka, she settled on the arm of Rex’s chair, leaning over his shoulder to blink fondly at Luke.
“How did this happen?!” Obi-Wan threw his hands into the air, “Such an awful host, Padmé, sit down I can handle the drinks, can I get you anything?”
“It’s alright,” Padmé didn’t look up from her son, “I was looking for a chance to use your Keurig. Really, the hot chocolate was more for me than Ahsoka.”
“Tastes like it’s for me,” mumbled Ahsoka, flipping the page. Her drink was already half finished.
As soon as Obi-Wan shuffled out of the study in search of Cody, Padmé nudged Rex’s arm. Her fingers still had the lingering warmth of the hot chocolate. “How was your first year back?”
Rex stared at her, mouth open, horrified by the unexpected lump that had formed in the back of his throat.
Padmé’s hand was on his shoulder, her eyes were soft and brown. “Sniff his head.”
“I - what?”
“I know, I thought it was a joke at first, too. But it really is wonderful. Go on.”
Bending, Rex pressed his nose, quick, to the top of Luke’s head. It was… unexpectedly, he began to chuckle, delighted, his laugh loud enough that Ahsoka turned to face them, her teeth brilliant white. He laughed hard enough, his chest shaking, Padmé giggling at his elbow, that Luke’s eyes flickered open in an unmistakable glare.
It was the best. It really was. It almost made up for the fact that Cody hadn’t hugged him at the door.