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Hitoshi was having a rough couple weeks, but he doesn’t really know why. That is the most frustrating part.
He’s in the middle of his second school year at U.A. and succeeding in his classes, he has the goofiest, most loving boyfriend in the world, and he has the most wonderful parents and little sister. So why did he feel so hopeless?
The young alpha has been on an antidepressant and antianxiety medication for a couple years now and they have helped, they really have. But now he was starting to feel the same way he did before he was adopted and started therapy, which means it’s time to talk to his dad.
Shouta and Hitoshi walk through the front door to their home after school together one day. Shouta starts to raid their pantry and tosses a jelly packet to his son which smacks him directly in the forehead. The whole way home, Hitoshi’s mind didn’t rest. He was constantly trying to work out his emotions and feelings, so he was zoning out and not paying attention to his surroundings.
“Oh, thanks, Dad,” Hitoshi says while unscrewing the cap. He turns to walk up to his room, but is stopped by a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Tosh? What’s wrong?” Shouta asks tenderly, but seriously.
“What? Nothing’s wrong,” he answers calmly. To anyone else, that would sound believable since he spent so much time working on his tone for his quirk, but Shouta knows his son better than that.
“Are you sure? Your scent says otherwise,” Shouta continues.
Dammit. Hitoshi knows controlling his scent is still the thing he needs to work on most. He didn’t even notice at first, but he had swamped the entire kitchen with anxious pheromones.
When he doesn't answer, Shouta ruffles his violet hair and brings his head to his chest. “You don’t have to talk right now if you’re not ready, but I’m here for you when you are.” Shouta nuzzles his son’s head with his scent glands before letting him go and turning around.
This was it. Hitoshi does want to talk. “Wait!”
The omega turns right back around and waits for the young alpha to speak again.
“I - I do have something that I want to talk about,” Hitoshi says, not meeting his dad’s eye. He wants to take it back the second it leaves his mouth, but then he remembers that his old therapist had told him to not hold in his emotions and push the people he loved away.
“Okay, where do you want to talk?”
Hitoshi opens his mouth and then snaps it closed. He knows exactly where he wants to talk, but it’s been so long since he’s been in there, and he doesn’t know if he’s still welcome there.
“Anywhere is fine, Hitoshi.”
Hitoshi’s wandering eyes towards the stairs must give him away to his dad who connects the dots easily.
“How about my nest?” Shouta asks. Hitoshi nods his head.
Shouta leads his son up the stairs with a light hand on his back. In the master bedroom, Shouta gets in his nest first and then Hitoshi follows. He gets comfortable and sits with his back against the wall and observes how the pile has changed since the last time he was in here. Now, Eri had a blanket in here and there were some of his hoodies in the border of the nest right next to Hizashi’s old leather jacket.
The omega covers the teen’s shoulders with a light comforter to help comfort him. They sit there side by side, Shouta waiting for his son to speak up, so he doesn’t accidentally push or rush him.
Hitoshi gets in his head about feeling numb.
“Dad?” his voice cracks.
Shouta reaches out and puts an arm around his shoulder to continue to keep talking.
“I don’t know why I feel like this,” he sobs. The flood gates open, and after the past few weeks he is finally able to let his frustration out through his tears.
Shouta pulls him against his chest and just holds him. The omega recognizes that the boy is in no state to actually talk about the issue since he was so distressed, so instead he just rocks the teen and releases his scent until his pup falls asleep. Whatever he is going through, it must be causing him so much exhaustion.
Shouta wants to cry at the thought of his son going through so much pain, but he needs to be strong for him. He needs to be the pillar that Hitoshi can lean on, so he continues to rub his back and scent him.
At some point, Hizashi peaks his head into their bedroom when he notices that his mate and son were nowhere else to be seen. Shouta just shakes his head and presses a finger to his lips. Hizashi nods and closes the door, understanding that the situation is serious.
Shouta thinks back to what just happened. The omega noticed that Hitoshi had been coming home at night much less than he had last year, but he hoped that it was due to the fact that he was getting more comfortable in the dorms. He also noticed that he was eating less and that his under eyes were getting darker, but he had chalked it up to stress. Now, Shouta wishes that he had asked his son to talk a little bit sooner.
Hitoshi sleeps until he wakes about an hour later, sniffling.
“How are you feeling?” Shouta asks, brushing his hair out of his face.
“I guess a little better,” he shrugs.
“Are you ready to talk?”
Hitoshi nods his head. “Dad, I just feel numb, like I’m going through the motions, which isn’t fair to anyone.”
Shouta has been trained in supporting students with their mental health, so he listens intently and knows to ask if he can explain a little bit further.
Hitoshi sighs before continuing. “I finally have people in my life that I always wanted, but for some reason I’m not happy. I’m not unhappy either, but I just don’t feel anything right now. I know that I like training, and I like spending time with Denki and you guys, but it just doesn’t feel right and sometimes it doesn’t even feel real. Why do I feel like this?”
“Hitoshi, I can’t tell you why you feel this way, but I’m here for you, and I’m going to get you some help. I think the most logical course of action is for you to see your therapist again. How does that sound?”
Hitoshi just nods, knowing how much it helped last time.
“Okay, I don’t have to go in depth about what we talked about, but I do need to tell your father what’s going on. Or you can tell him yourself,” Shouta offers.
The boy shakes his head. It was hard enough saying it the one time. As much as he loves his alpha father, he doesn’t want to have to repeat himself right now.
“Okay.” He wraps his arms around his son again so that they can be close to each other’s scent. “I love you, Hitoshi.”
“I love you, too, Dad.”
When Hitoshi’s ready to go downstairs, they see Eri and Hizashi cooking his favorite dinner and playing some gentle music in the kitchen. It was a calming and familiar sight for Hitoshi.
Hizashi perks up when he sees his son and immediately puts down the bowl he was mixing to pull the young alpha into a hug and scent him.
---
Hitoshi ends the call with Hizashi. His alpha dad had always texted him goodnight when he stayed in the dorms, but for the past week, he had been calling him to check in and so that Shouta and Eri could also say goodnight. The teen actually appreciated it and liked it when they called, when before he would have thought the extra attention would just be annoying.
Nevertheless, Hitoshi lays back in his bed and rests his arm over his eyes. He has been going back to his therapist and had a visit to his doctor who prescribed him with a different antidepressant. The pediatrician told him that it would take a while to kick in, but in the meantime as he adjusts, he has been feeling more tired than usual and nauseous.
He was frustrated. He knows that it’s going to help eventually, but right now it sucks. Honestly, he just wants to sleep for the next year.
Hitoshi is starting to shut his eyes when he hears a knock at his dorm door.
“Hito?”
That voice actually makes him want to get up for a second. He cracks the door open, but realizes that he must look like a mess; he hasn’t wanted to shower for the past few days since he constantly just feels exhausted, and while he feels like he is always sleeping, he doesn’t seem to be getting anything from it.
Because of his recent sleeping habits, he’s started doing his homework with his dad in his office during lunch to make sure it gets done since he just wants to sleep when he gets back from class. Sometimes, Shouta even lets his son use his sleeping bag to take a quick nap once he gets his work done before he has to go to class.
“Hey, Denks,” the alpha rasps out, his voice tired and strained.
“Hey, how are you feeling? Mr. Yamada told me your medication was hitting you kinda hard today,” Denki asks, a concerned look on his face.
“I feel like absolute shit,” Hitoshi deadpans. There was no use sugarcoating it.
“Well, I made you some soup cause I didn’t see you come down for dinner tonight,” the omega says, holding up the mug. He was right. Interacting with too many people at once was irritating and frustrating him, and any noise from people chatting to pencils scratching paper was pissing him off.
“Well, I didn’t actually make the soup even though I really tried, but Katsuki mostly made it because I messed up the first pot, but I did stir it when he told me to. Anyways, we know it’ll be edible,” Denki rambles.
Hitoshi just smiles at his boyfriend. “Thank you, baby. I appreciate it.”
Denki smiles back at him in relief. Hitoshi knows that he has been worrying the blond and feels bad about it, but Denki just being there for him makes him feel a little bit better.
Hitoshi opens the door a little so that Denki can get through and set the soup on the desk. As Hitoshi eats, Denki starts to look around his boyfriend’s room. The usually clean and straightened room was messy to say the least. Hitoshi was usually so adamant about keeping his space clean like Shouta, so this must be bothering him that it is untidy. Over the past few weeks, he hasn’t bothered to take out the trash when it fills up, hasn’t had the energy to make his bed every morning, and hasn’t been motivated enough to do a load of laundry.
Denki takes a deep breath and gets to work.
Hitoshi gives him a strange look over the top of the mug. “What are you doing?”
“I’m cleaning,” Denki says like it’s obvious as he picks up trash off of the floor that fell from the full garbage can.
“You don’t even clean your own room until Katsuki threatens you,” Hitoshi laughs into the soup.
“Yeah, well maybe I do now,” he says, straightening the comforter of the bed and fluffing the flattened pillows.
“You don’t have to do this,” the alpha tells his boyfriend.
“I want to.” Denki had consulted his friends for the best ways to support Hitoshi. Eijirou struggled with his depression ever since middle school, and Katsuki is battling with PTSD, so they both told him that he can be there for him by making sure he gets food, a clean space, and someone to talk to if he needs him. Also, Denki knows that Hitoshi would do the same for him, so he will do anything to help his boyfriend.
The young alpha doesn’t know how to respond appropriately. He doesn’t know what to say to express how much he loves and values the other boy.
Hitoshi finishes the soup and is hit with another wave of exhaustion. He rests his head in his hand and closes his eyes for a second. The next thing he knows, Denki is brushing a hand through his hair.
“Wanna go to bed?”
Hitoshi nods and gets up. He flops onto his back immediately onto his newly made bed and closes his eyes.
Denki stands there awkwardly for a second, not knowing what to do. “Okay, I’ll leave you alone.”
The blond starts to walk to the door when Hitoshi gently grabs a hold of the edge of the other boy’s sweatshirt.
“Stay?” Hitoshi whispers then opens up his arms
Denki nods his head and crawls over to his boyfriend’s chest, laying down. It reminds Hitoshi of the weighted blankets that they have back home.
“Thank you,” Hitoshi says, pressing a kiss to Denki’s hair. “Thank you for being here with me.”
“Of course, I love you,” Denki responds, snuggling deeper into the alpha’s chest.
“I love you, too.”
With that they fall asleep. Hitoshi knows that with his family, friends, boyfriend, and therapist, he’ll be able to get through this.