Chapter Text
The first time that he had realized his feelings for the other was ages ago.
The night was young and the sky was loud with wonder as the NHO cheered and bickered with light hearted weights. Bdubs and Beef busied themselves with a video game that was lighting up the room on the large flat screen tv hung on the wall, shouting and half-heartedly shoving at each other as they elbowed one another in attempts to catch the other off guard and get a win in. Meanwhile, Etho and Doc watched with amused smiles from behind them, seated on a couch a little ways away from the gaming setup.
The group was spending the night at Bdubs’ house, since his parents were away for the weekend, and stood nowhere near sleep as they sipped on fizzy pop and ate away at boxes of pizza. Energy buzzed through the room and the laughter was far from over, seemingly never ending.
“So who do you think is gonna win this round? My money is on Bdubs if he manages to elbow Beef in the side one more time.” Doc smirked as he took a sip of his drink, his eyes laced with a sort of amused mischief that sent a practically nervous chill down Etho’s spine.
Etho simply hummed to himself for a moment, watching the way the two males in question continued to argue and furiously jam buttons on the gaming controllers, before chuckling softly, “Yeah I’d have to agree with you on that one- Beefers doesn’t stand a chance.”
As if on cue, large bold letters flash onto the screen and Bdubs is announced the winner as Beef comically crumples in defeat. The way the brunette deflates and flops onto the couch makes Doc and Etho burst into a fit of their own laughter.
“Alright Beef- let me show you how to beat Bdubs, since you can’t do it yourself.” The german’s accent is thick and striving with a sense of excitement as he snatches the controller from Beef’s hands and pushes him out of the way so that he can properly sit on the couch.
The blue-eyed Canadian has no room to argue, as Bdubs starts to protest against Doc’s words, and grumbles to himself as he moves to go over to where Etho is seated behind them. Their knees bump against one another gently as Beef huffs in irritation that holds no real weight, but it earns another laugh from the white haired male regardless.
“Good job Beefers, maybe next time.” The humor in his tone makes Beef’s shoulders ease in just the smallest degree, and if he wasn’t so heated from Doc’s unnecessary add on, Beef would’ve laughed with him.
But instead, the brunette pushes at Etho’s shoulder and raises a brow with slight protest before he leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees and get a better view of the tv ahead of him, “Ah shut up-It’s not fair that it’s his game so he has more practice time on it.”
“Right.” Etho nods his head in agreement despite knowing that Beef is just being salty that he’s no good at this game, but decides to keep the thought to himself.
A comfortable silence fits between them as Beef averts his attention to watch the large screen in front of them, and Etho can’t help but place his hand on his shoulder where the brief contact was made. Heterochromatic eyes follow the movements on the television ahead of him, but his thoughts are already away from the world.
Because in the corner of his eyes he’s realized the way that Beef’s brow furrows and that his bone structure has become something a lot stronger and more sound than he last remembers. But when did passive glances and harmless knee bumps morph into anything different from platonic? And why Beef?
Etho always thought of himself as a simple person, he never really had crushes on other people growing up, romantic feelings just didn’t come to him quite like that. And yet he was here thinking much too into the way his best friend’s smile lights up a room and how big blue eyes hold the light of a thousand stars when excitement courses through his veins.
He tries his best to forget the longing thoughts flashing at the back of his head, but by the end of the night he draws a single, sad conclusion: he was falling in love with Beef.
And the worst part of it all? Beef was planning on asking out the pretty blonde girl in his math class next week. He had rambled on about the small plan he had in place right before sleep finally settled among them, and the feeling that grew in Etho’s stomach started to eat away at him.
It didn’t feel good.
When the lines between night and morning blur far too much to be considered healthy, the four boys are finally lying down in the messy room. Blankets and pillows scatter about on the floors in makeshift beds and empty pizza boxes are left discarded by the trash bin. The television is still on, but it’s left playing some show that fills the room with a quiet chatter.
Etho can hear that Bdubs is already fast asleep and if not for the shifting of sheets beside him, he wouldn’t have realized that Beef was still awake too. Without much thought into the matter, Etho sits up and reaches a hand over to the boy, resting it on top of his shoulder.
Beef’s head turns accordingly and he blinks a few times before whispering a soft, “Etho? You’re still awake?”
The words are taken from the younger’s throat though and he feels unnaturally warm as he slowly recoils his hand, “Yeah- um, can’t sleep for some reason.” His voice is soft and hushed, in hopes to not wake the other two that were sound asleep.
“You didn’t even drink any caffeine, how do you manage to do this?” Beef chuckles to himself and the sound makes Etho feel light headed by how sickly sweet the noise lands on his ears.
He needs a moment to regain himself before he winces his eyes closed and grounds himself back to Earth. “Maybe I just have a more efficient body clock.” He says with a mock confidence as he pulls on the sleeves to the green sweatshirt he’s wearing.
“Yeah, well it’s not healthy. You need to take better care of your sleep schedule.” Beef shifts so that he is no longer laying down, but propped up on his side to get better eye contact with the other. There’s a sleepy grin on his face as they talk.
Etho sighs with a playful edge, “Says the guy who’s awake with me right now.”
He can see Beef open his mouth to protest and almost immediately close it again, and can’t help the giggle that passes through his lips. The dim lighting of the room really makes Beef’s most prominent feature glow, and careful eyes follow the way that the older cards a hand through his hair to push it back and out of his face.
The warmth bubbling in Etho’s stomach only makes him sick though and he bites on his tongue hard to keep himself in check, “G’night Beefers.”
There’s a brief moment of silence, and it’s heavy and neither of the two actually know what it means, but after one last glance at Etho, Beef exhales gently and whispers out his own, “Good night Etho.”
Etho lies back down and turns over on his side so that his back is facing the brunette beside him. He curls in on himself and holds his arms close to his chest. He should probably get some sleep. But his thoughts are a bit too loud right now, and the churning in his stomach makes it hard to relax.
If this is what falling in love brought, then perhaps Etho was better off not falling in love at all. Perhaps he is better off simply forgetting about the newfound feelings.
Etho eventually goes to sleep that night with a single thought lacing his head.
'Maybe I’d be better off if I just forget you when I’m famous.’