Work Text:
It’d been a very strenuous day, even for Jean. The ache in her legs did nothing to cease as she walked back to the humble house she typically resided in, on the nights she wasn’t buried knee deep in endless commissions and paperwork. To be honest, she’d rather be doing paperwork than anything, as she refused to let her wife know the events of such an undesirable afternoon she’d had. The acting Grand Master’s legs almost seemed to quiver from exhaustion, barely able to hold her up, or maybe that was just her brain taking it out on her overexerted body.
It’d been a few years since Jean had moved out of her mothers home, and for good reason. The blonde grew up under only the highest expectations, anything below what her mother perceived she could accomplish was considered a failure, and only gave way to constant berating. She grew up watching others enjoy their lives, while she stayed inside following her mother’s practically tyrannical rule. As soon as Jean became a teenager, a new burden was added to her seemingly mountonus cluster of stress.
For Mondstadt, as always.
While it’d been years since Jean’s departure from her family home, her body and mind were still filled to the brim with seemingly torturous ideals that apparently came with being a knight. Who knew that it was possible for the role of Grand Master to be placed on a twenty-two year old woman. Jean, now twenty-six, still had the role. To be frank, she didn’t even know what qualified her so much, but of course, no responsibility was ever enough for Mondstadt’s most hard-working human being, even at the sacrifice of her humanity. Feelings of guilt flooded through the woman, as someone of her status should not be allowed to complain over something as minor as having a different work environment than the other knights. Jean really was spoiled, wasn’t she?
Her train of thought halted as a gloved hand came in contact with the handle of her front door, giving it a gentle turn before pushing the wooden apparatus open, revealing a relatively empty living room. Stepping inside, the smell of chamomile wafted through the kitchen, before a quiet giggle caught her attention. Jean turned her head, eyes meeting her wife’s as the mage rested her head in her hands, giving a small grin.
“Good evening, darling, I missed you.” Her caramel-like voice drifted through Jean’s ears, relaxing a bit of tension residing in her aching shoulders. The blonde gave a curt nod, smiling back, bits of white teeth poking between her pale lips.
“Work went relatively well, I would say. I am a bit tired, however.”
Lisa chuckled, before sliding off of the small stool she rested on, slowly walking over to Jean, before wrapping her arms around the woman. She smelled of lilacs and roses, though the rose-adorned outfit she typically wore for work was replaced with a silk nightgown, her hair completely untied. Jean stiffened slightly, before returning the hug. She could say Lisa was pretty comfortable. The warmth from her electro vision was truly a welcome feeling after such a stressful day.
Lisa pulled back slightly, before gazing at her wife’s face, riddled with sheer exhaustion. Her eyes almost seemed to fill themselves with worry, as she knew Jean had been working herself especially hard in the prior nights. It was already 11:30, and she was just getting home from the knight’s headquarters.
“Why don’t you get a warm shower? I’ve already got water in the kettle waiting to boil, and we can have some tea before bed.” Lisa brushed a stray hair out of the blonde’s face, the bare spot on her face giving an even better view of the dark circles forming beneath her blue eyes.
The idea of a shower sounded heavenly, and not even the acting Grand Master could turn down the offer, quickly nodding before leaving the room, entering the small bathroom that happened to be attached to their bedroom. Her mind was still in quite the haze, as she stripped herself of her work clothes, and freeing her blonde locks from the ornate bow that typically confined them. Jean stepped in the shower, feeling the warm water cascade down her body, loosening her overtaxed muscles.
Unfortunately, showers typically became the time that Jean’s mind happened to let itself wander, much to her dismay. This time, it decided to rest upon the relationship status with her family, a subject that typically put the woman on edge. Running Lisa’s floral shampoo through her hair only seemed to make her mind work harder, wanting to produce a solution on why she had to be born in such a household.
Jean could almost hear Fredrica’s voice in her mind, scolding every inch of her conscience as she recalled a memory of a terribly sleep deprived fourteen-year-old version of herself being berated. She’d gotten an eighty four on a test, instead of her usual ninety-six or higher. That night, she hadn’t heard the end of it. Maybe her mother’s belittling was the reason she overworked herself to the point of exhaustion. Maybe that’s why she could never stand to give herself a break. If Fredrica was out of her life, why did it almost feel like she was still there, pulling the strings and controlling Jean’s every move?
In fact, would Jean be better if she hadn’t been born in the environment she inevitably was? Would she be more soft, warm, and liquid smooth like Lisa is? Maybe she’d be easier to get along with. Maybe she wouldn’t have to bother those close with her constant baggage and unresolved innermost feelings. She was the acting Grand Master, for crying out loud! Why would she ever fathom complaining about anything. Many had it much worse than Jean ever did.
Soon enough, her body had been washed, and the water had been shut off. Jean stepped out of the shower, feeling the humid air of the bathroom circle her delicate skin, wet hair cooling from the contact of the outside. She’d noticed Lisa had left her a pair of pajamas that weren’t there when she came in, as well. Lisa had always been so thoughtful, and Jean longed to say the same about herself. Her own nightgown was shorter than Lisa’s only reaching a little below her knees. It was teal in color, and was adorned with white polka dots.
When she left the bathroom, instead of an empty bed, she was met with Lisa sitting on top, legs under the covers. A romance novel seemed to be resting in well-manicured hands. Lisa often got absorbed in her books, yet would always pull herself back the second Jean entered her space. She wishes she could absorb herself in something that isn’t her job.
Wordlessly, Jean crawls into bed next to the mage, lifting the duvet up and scooting closer to her lover. The librarian sets down the book, eyes filled with love as she glances down at the Grand Master. Lisa runs a finger through her still-wet hair, noticing Jean can’t quite meet her eyes, continuing to lay down on her side, looking ever-so-slightly to the left.
“Love, are you alright?” The mage inquires. While Jean wasn’t the most talkative person she’d ever met, her wife didn’t typically look this strained. Truly, Jean almost didn’t know how to answer. Her mind felt like a mess, even a little worse than usual, but it’s nothing she couldn’t handle. Jean was supposed to handle everything, right? That’s what anyone in Mondstadt would say about her.
“Jean, are you in there?” The question held more worry to it, and Jean could almost say it caused the lump in her throat to form, but as far as she knows, it’s likely been festering all day. She finally looks into Lisa’s eyes giving a curt nod before tearing her eyes away. If she didn't want her to worry, she shouldn’t allow the love of her life to see the tears quickly welling in her averted eyes.
To be honest, Jean didn’t know why she was close to crying, either. She hadn’t done it in a while, and almost thought that she was finally getting over the resentment she held towards her mother. Kaeya and Rosaria both seemed to quickly be over their familial issues, so she didn’t see why she couldn’t either. For an acting Grand Master, she was pretty pathetic.
She didn’t even realize that she was crying until she felt Lisa’s arms pulling her in, resting her head on the other woman’s shoulder. Jean was shaking as well, pretty badly, at that. A quiet sob tore from her throat, and the knight made quick work to paw at her eyes, willing the tears to cease themselves. Her hand was quickly grabbed by the brunette, instead gently interlocking their fingers.
“It’s okay Jean, I’m right here,” she whispered, detaching their hands and delicately stroking her hair.
She gave in, looping her weak arms around the mage’s waist, shakily gripping the fabric of her nightgown. Her breath shuddered with quiet sobs, likely soaking her wife’s silk nightgown.
“I don’t, I d-don’t know w-why-“ she attempts to heave out, breath hitching and catching in her throat at each pathetic attempt to speak. Her quivering body sitting in the lap of Lisa’s stable one, embarrassing herself more and more by the minute.
“You don’t have to tell me, It’s okay,” Lisa reassured. The hand intertwined with blonde locks moved to rub her back in an attempt to stabilize her terribly shallow breathing with the careful movements. She began to quietly hum, hoping that the comfort would take its effect soon. Lisa hated seeing her wife upset, but she’s learned that letting her sorrow take its course was the best remedy.
As the embarrassment grew, the only thing Jean was able to do was bury her face into the crook of her wife’s neck, her sobs unrelenting. Lisa was always so patient with her when she was like this, giving her all the space she needed. She didn’t deserve it, she really didn’t.
After a good while, Jean’s sobs slowed into sniffles, leaving her face and Lisa’s nightgown a tear-covered mess. She pulls her face from the librarian’s neck, assessing the soaked attire.
“Oh, Barabatos, I’ve ruined your shirt.” Jean’s puffy eyes filled themselves with guilt. She even managed to ruin her clothes, too.
Lisa’s hand came to cup her face, wiping any stay tears still cascading down her flushed cheeks. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. I can wash it,” she cooed.
The blonde weakly nodded, too empty to give a real response.
“Do you wish to talk about it?” Lisa asked, tilting her head to the side, ready to listen.
To be honest, she didn’t. She’d rather curl up in her wife’s arms and sleep for an eternity, away from her past and away from her unrelenting thoughts that always reminded her of the past. She shook her head before muttering out an alternative.
“I apologize Lisa, but can we please sleep?” The request felt selfish, horribly so, but maybe since Lisa was around, it wouldn’t be as much as a burden. Jean quickly received a featherlight kiss to her forehead, before she felt herself being laid down on the bed.
The arms that were holding her before quickly enveloped her toned body once again, giving her a place to temporarily rest. Her eyes felt horribly heavy, tempting to slip closed any second. Her head ached from the aftershocks of her tears. That brain of hers never really shut up, didn’t it? Sleep pulled at her like a warm embrace, but nothing could compare to the safety of Lisa’s. Jean was unable to stop it however, almost instantly drifting off in the arms of her wife.
Lisa was forcing Jean to take a day off tomorrow, she didn’t get a choice.