Chapter Text
ACT I SCENE I
loss
Here is a truth: Midoriya Izuku will never be a hero.
It’s something he’s always known. Izuku hides it under his breastbone, covers it with shaking hands and watery smiles, and ignores how the sting of reality feels against his heart. He has never stopped clinging onto the belief that perhaps one day, little quirkless Izuku could become a hero; saving people with a smile. Like All Might.
Well, isn’t this ironic?
“It’s not a bad thing to dream,” the man says lowly, “but you’ve got to consider what’s realistic, young man.”
Japan’s Number One hero, Izuku’s hero, disappears down the stairwell, taking the last of Izuku’s hope with him. He stares at All Might’s retreating figure, a skeleton frame with wispy blonde hair, and wonders to what extent will life continue to be cruel. It’s simply hilarious how his childhood hero has shattered his dream on a rooftop in only a few minutes.
Izuku chokes on a laugh, twisting his fingers into his uniform. Of course, he can’t be a hero - he’s quirkless. Who is he trying to kid? Tears drip down his chin and onto the grey floor.
Maybe Kacchan’s right. Maybe all it takes is sincere prayer and a swan dive off the roof.
Izuku stares blankly at the ledge, heart in his throat. He can’t do it. His mother would be devastated.
He whimpers, swiping a sleeve across his face to catch the disgusting snot that’s been building up. He needs to calm down. The longer he stays up on this rooftop, the more likely he’ll do something he’d regret.
Izuku presses his hands against his face, taking a long exhale, as he paces before the exit while gathering himself. His head is pounding and he feels utterly wrecked but he has to get it together. He can’t go home looking like this.
Inko had known, long ago, that Izuku’s dream of becoming a hero was just that - a dream. She’d held his small frame in her arms and sobbed through apologies, wailing about failures that were no fault of her own. Izuku didn’t need it then, and he certainly doesn’t need it now.
Sometimes, Izuku just wishes people would lie to him. Maybe it’d hurt less.
He runs a hand through his hair, sniffing. He should’ve listened the first time. Izuku has always been the quirkless nobody with idiotic dreams. If he’d only accepted the truth earlier, he wouldn’t be coming home every day with star-shaped burns on his arms; his pillow wouldn’t be wet with tears every night.
Izuku grips his charred notebook tightly against his chest as he exits the building All Might had left him on. Everything feels duller now, more faded; less vibrant than Izuku remembers. His vision blurs but he forces his eyes to stay open, to keep the tears from flowing out once more. Considering reality means accepting that UA’s hero course is another fantasy that lies just outside of Izuku’s reach.
His shoulders shake as fresh tears spill down his cheeks, fingers tangling together over the cover of his notebook. Hero Analysis for the Future feels mocking now; as if Fate were pointing a finger in his direction and cackling at how his life had turned out.
How pathetic.
Izuku chuckles at the sight. Look at him. He’s a third-year who still can’t dredge up the courage to face reality and accept the situation for what it is - the truth. It’s stupid to even think he’d amount to anything besides being the background character in Kacchan’s someone else’s story.
Useless, he kicks at the ground. I’m just a useless, worthless Deku.
A loud boom startles Izuku out of his thoughts.
As if on instinct, his feet take him towards the sound. Izuku stops himself, just across the street from all the commotion, before he can look. It’s probably another villain attack.
His hands shake. Izuku wants to keep walking, to look away, and he knows he really should. It’s embarrassing enough that he’d gone around chasing heroes for quirk analysis and collecting all this data when he’ll never be able to use it in the future: a fact that he’s known and had chosen to ignore. But a small part of him - the one that urges him to scribble in notebooks, that looks at heroes with wide eyes filled with awe, that tells him to keep hoping - urges him to turn.
The first thing Izuku notices is that half of Tatooin Shopping District is on fire. A few police officers have stepped up to corral a large crowd of civilians away from the scene. Izuku, despite a voice screaming inside him to stop looking and to focus on reality, speeds down the street and joins the back of the crowd. The whole thing can only be described as absolute destruction - fire spreading in wild arcs as chunks of debris rain down in bursts.
Izuku can spot a couple of heroes at the front lines. He squints, brows furrowing as he tries to figure out what they’re doing. His fingers itch with the urge to scribble in his notebook. Backdraft is putting out the flames nearest to the crowd. Kamui Woods is setting down two very familiar teenagers behind the line of police officers. Death Arms seems to be the one taking charge - yelling orders to “-civilians safe. We have to wait for the right quirk!” - and pointing at sidekicks to help with the falling debris.
That’s weird, Izuku frowns; why would they need to wait for another hero?
He looks further, past the pieces of rubble and the large flames, and spots a familiar, hulking figure that sits right in the middle of all the chaos. Izuku’s stomach flips. It’s the sludge villain from earlier. It must’ve gotten out when All Might was flying and Izuku had childishly clung onto his leg.
Guilt pricks at his eyes; this is all his fault. If he’d only stayed where he was, whoever’s currently trapped inside the sludge villain would be alright. Useless, the voice inside him screams, you’re useless!
“There’s a kid trying to save that lady from the villain!”
What?
The man in front of Izuku sneers. “Fat load of good that’s doing! He’s making it harder for the heroes to do their damned jobs. Tsk, kids these days think they’re stronger than everyone.”
Izuku shifts in place, uncomfortable at the sentiment. On one hand, the man is right. Kamui Woods can’t approach because of all the fire, and Death Arms doesn’t have the strength to blow the sludge villain into pieces like All Might had. On the other, if there’s someone who can help, why shouldn’t they?
“Isn’t that the villain All Might was chasing down?” Another bystander asks. “Do you think he’ll show up?”
(In the corner, leaning against a street lamp, an emancipated All Might grips his side with trembling fingers. Pathetic; he can’t help - he’s out of time. Toshinori tells himself that they’ll be fine. They’ve got it handled. It’ll be okay.)
Izuku looks around wildly but the heroes are still frozen in place, shouting orders to wait for help to arrive. Aren’t they supposed to be the help, though? Think, Izuku - think! He zeroes in on the attack, scanning the scene for things the heroes could use.
When he sees it, Izuku feels his chest seize.
A recognisable blonde tuft of hair, rattling explosions, and loud cursing; following that, a frantic, almost hysterical,
“Auntie Inko!”
Wide green eyes meet his own.
Izuku starts running before he can even blink. He’s tearing past the crowd, shoving his way forward and scrambling as he sprints. People are yelling after him - “That kid is suicidal!” “Someone grab him!” - to get back and to stop being so reckless.
Is it so reckless if all he’s trying to do is save his mother?
Midoriya Inko’s pleas are muffled by heavy sludge as it covers her mouth. Izuku remembers how it felt to have the viscous thing press the breath out of his chest. The sludge had slammed into his body, had roughly shoved its way into his mouth and nose. It had been agony - blinding pain that somehow felt heavy too, like a weight that refused to budge as his lungs begged for air. Izuku doesn’t want to think about how long he’s been under.
Hot tears are streaking down his face and his heart feels like it’s going to explode from fear and anxiety, but right now, he needs to save his mother. He can do this. He needs to move, needs to get to his mom. He needs to get her out.
I’m here, he thinks as his feet pound against the gravel. Izuku can’t muster up a smile right now.
“Mom!” he screams (and the word has never sounded so raw before).
Kacchan whirls around at the sound. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, Bakugou Katsuki looks absolutely terrified. He’s holding his right palm out, firing off an explosion at the villain’s side before he ducks a nasty swing of sludge. Izuku realises that Kacchan is angling the blows in a way that avoids Inko completely - pointed at the sides and never directed at its front.
“Deku!” Kacchan shouts furiously. His voice, though loud, shakes ever so slightly. “Get out of the way! You don’t have a fucking quirk!”
Think, Izuku, think. A sludge mutation quirk that leaves the person with virtually no concrete surface to land a hit. All Might had defeated it with sheer strength alone - smashing a fist into it so hard that it’d splattered apart. Izuku can’t do that, so what else can he do? What else can h- wait, what if-
the eyes.
Without wasting another second, Izuku rips the bag off his shoulder and launches it at the villain. It spills its contents through the air, books hitting the villain’s eye with a satisfying thud. The monster roars, rearing backwards and flailing its limbs wildly. Kacchan jumps and ducks before the stray sludge can get him.
Izuku skids to a stop, breathless. It worked!
His mother’s face appears as the sludge recedes for a moment; just two precious seconds where he sees her gasp weakly, eyes locking onto his - “Izu- ack- go!” - before she sinks again.
The relief that had started creeping up on him is quickly replaced by a gnawing sense of dread.
Izuku starts to run, another scream on his lips, but something hauls him backwards; yanking him so hard that the breath is snatched from his lungs. He thrashes in Kamui Woods’s hold, thick wood wrapping tighter around him as the hero lifts him away from his mother. No, no-
“No!” Izuku cries, feet kicking in the air. “Let me go! That’s my mom! I need t- I need to save her!”
He whips his head back towards the villain, towards his mother, so roughly that his neck hurts from the sudden movement. Kacchan is still firing explosions at the sludge while dodging. Izuku should be there. He should be the one saving his mother. But Kamui Woods is unyielding and Izuku finds himself pinned.
“You have to let us do our jobs,” Kamui Woods says firmly but not unkindly. Izuku’s blood roars.
“But you’re not doing anything!” He fires back. Izuku glares at the hero with wet eyes. Maybe he’ll come to regret yelling at a Pro Hero, but as of right now, his mother is being attacked and Izuku is being kept from saving her. Why isn’t anyone trying to help?
Death Arms snarls. “This is a dangerous situation, kid. Running out like that and attacking the villain could have gotten you killed!”
They’re not listening, Izuku realises. He has to do something. Izuku thrashes again but the chain merely tightens. Fine. He takes a deep breath and yells.
“KACCHAN! GO FOR THE EYES!”
“Shut up, Deku!” Katsuki roars, stumbling back from the recoil of another explosion.
As much as Katsuki would like to charge in head first and blow this piece of shit to hell, he can’t. Inko is too close - her face just inches away from the only solid surface the monster has. Katsuki isn’t an idiot. He’d been firing off explosions to the side for a reason, positioning them as carefully as he could to avoid hitting her. If he aims for the bastard’s eyes like Deku wants, Inko might get hurt in the process too.
Katsuki swallows. He can’t afford to panic.
The sludge villain had been fast but Inko, in that split second, had moved faster. One moment she’d been smiling at him from outside the grocery store, rambling polite yet cheery greetings and queries about his parents, and the next she’d been swept up by the sludge after she’d shoved him aside. Katsuki had been sprawled on the ground as it happened, stiff with fear. If only he’d been more aware, more amicable and less hostile when Inko had approached, then maybe he would’ve noticed the bastard coming up from behind them.
So you see, Katsuki has to save her. He has to.
Cursing internally, he aims a palm directly at the villain’s eyes and fires.
The effect is instantaneous. The monster howls as it cowers from the blast, giving Inko a small reprieve and the chance to breathe. She’s wheezing, face worryingly pale, and is whispering something that Katsuki can’t hear over the bastard’s roaring. He rushes forward, digging through the sludge in attempts to pull her out of the grip, but his fingers only slip through the damned thing. His frustration grows.
“Hold on!” Katsuki growls. Why can’t he fucking reach her? Screw this. He aims another palm at the villain, feels the familiar crackle of his quirk against his skin, and fires it right over her head. The sludge blows back even further as the explosion rips through it. Inko slumps forward just enough so she can take a large gulp of air.
She doesn’t look good. Her green hair is dark, matted to her forehead with sweat, and her lips are tinged an unhealthy dark colour that makes Katsuki’s stomach sink. Her breaths come out rattling as she heaves for air. Inko’s eyes are unfocused, blinking blearily at him.
This is the lady who used to make his curries extra spicy when he came to visit; who used to ruffle his hair and beam when she’d see him after school; who pushed him away from a villain and took his place with steely determination. This is Deku’s mom.
“Kat- uki,” she rasps, “r- n.”
He rushes to grab her shoulder but the sludge flows over her with a renewed vengeance. Katsuki snatches his hands away before they can become encased. Why aren’t the heroes stepping in yet? Even Deku, the quirkless idiot, had managed to land a hit.
Katsuki’s arms are already aching with the strain from his quirk’s recoil. He doesn't know how much longer he can keep this up. He snarls at the villain, pissed beyond belief. How fucking dare this bastard!
“Let her go, you piece of shit!”
“She’s mine!” The villain bellows. “I’ll let her go if I can have your body instead.”
Katsuki can’t reply because a strong gust of wind cuts him off mid swear. It whips around his face harshly, roaring in his ears. Katsuki turns to cuss at whatever the hell could cause this only to look up, slack-jawed, at a towering All Might.
About fucking time.
All Might grabs hold of Inko’s arm and Katsuki’s wrist in one giant fist. The Number One hero’s smile is strained as he rears his other arm back, yelling out the coolest “Detroit SMASH!” Katsuki has ever heard; ramming his fist right in the villain’s face.
The blow is so powerful, it literally lifts Katsuki into the winds, flailing around uselessly as All Might holds onto him. Without it, he’d be tossing through the air like a damned doll. Katsuki closes his eyes, rides out the rough winds. Inko will be fine - All Might is here.
When it calms, the sound dissipates into a heavy silence. Katsuki’s ears are still ringing from the repeated explosions and wind. He opens his eyes to see sludge splattered across the street and over the various buildings in the shopping district. Most of the fires, set ablaze by his own quirk, have been put out by the gust. He sways on his feet slightly as All Might lowers him back to the ground.
It’s over.
Katsuki nearly sinks to his knees. He’s exhausted.
The sky darkens suddenly before rain starts pouring down from clouds that weren’t there a second ago. What the heck?
“Holy shit, All Might changed the weather!”
The tense silence is broken by loud cheers from the crowd of idiots at the end of the street. They’re screaming about how All Might managed to end the bastard with a single blow. Tch, Katsuki scoffs; what took him so long?
“Medic!” All Might booms. He crouches beside Inko, scooping her up easily. “Get the ambulance ready!”
Immediately, the cheers hush as the crowd clambers forward, whispering and trying to find out what’s wrong. Katsuki doesn’t get the chance to look at Inko before All Might speeds them down the street to where an ambulance waits. Deku is sprinting, pushing away from Woody as he trips over his own damn feet to get to his mother.
Hard droplets of rain pelt his face. A pair of hands reach into Katsuki’s vision, slow and careful, and it takes all he has not to jump out of his damned skin. A hero in spandex, with large purple horns on her head, eyes him warily. He’s seen her before - on the news this morning. Mt Lady or something. “Are you okay?”
Katsuki glares, batting her arm away roughly. “I’m fine, damn it!”
He stumbles over a piece of debris and nearly crashes into the heroine. Horns raises a taunting brow, as if saying ‘yeah right,’ and Katsuki scoffs again. He stomps a few steps forward and sneers at her - there, you idiot; I walked. I’m fine.
“That was some really smart thinking,” she says. Katsuki feels himself flush under her gaze. He scoffs, turns his nose up and away from her gaze. Hell yeah, that was some smart thinking. Katsuki didn’t panic. He even dealt some damage to the bastard.
Horns leads him back to where a few paramedics have gathered beside the remaining heroes. That fire hydrant hero is putting out any remaining flames (not that there were many after All Might made it fucking rain) while Woody speaks to some reporters. The sudden rain has stopped now, fading into a light drizzle as the sky clears. He searches the scene but All Might, Inko, and Deku are nowhere to be seen.
“Oi, where’s the green-haired lady and the kid?”
They’re not letting Izuku onto the ambulance. Izuku is just about done with people telling him what he can and cannot do today in regards to his mother. He pushes forward, relentlessly clawing his way past paramedics as he screams for Inko. A pair of strong limbs throws him back and out of the ambulance. He watches, helpless, as the paramedics slam the doors shut and his mother - pale and barely breathing, oxygen mask strapped to her face - disappears into the city.
“We’ve lost enough time. We need to go now,” they’d said. “Meet us at Musutafu Gen.”
Izuku can feel the anger and fear and hopelessness rise within him again. The respite from earlier is swept away by the harsh words hurled in his direction.
“My mom,” he’d choked in response. Izuku’s voice is hoarse from all the yelling and thrashing. How many times does he have to remind the world that this woman is all he has left?
All Might had disappeared again almost immediately after laying Inko down on a gurney. Izuku had ran, as fast as he could while pushing through numerous people who didn’t have a shred of tact, towards the ambulance so that he could finally reach his mother. Izuku should be in the ambulance right beside Inko, holding her hand and crying over her. He should be in there, watching them bring her back to him.
Instead he’s standing in a drizzle, watching numbly as the ambulance pulls away. Alone.
Death Arms heaves his limp body over to the nearest police car and places him gently into the backseat. There are too many emotions circling through him - frustration, anxiety, helplessness. Izuku blinks when the doors to the car slam shut and the police officer turns to him with a nod.
“I’m Officer Minegeshi. I’ll be taking you to the hospital so you can see your mom,” the officer says. Izuku straightens, wide eyes pooling with grateful tears.
“Thank you,” he sobs. Izuku sniffles as the dam breaks again. Tears mix with snot as he cries, fingers interlocked tightly in his lap. His panicked breaths are escaping faster than he can inhale. It strikes him, distantly, that he’s hyperventilating.
Out the corner of his, admittedly blurry, vision, Death Arms shifts uncomfortably in the front seat. He waits silently as Izuku cries. The only sound within the car is the sound of Izuku’s hitched breathing and the wail of the police siren. Why is this journey taking so long? Is Inko okay? Will he get there in time to see her?
Slowly, he regains control of his breathing again. Izuku takes a shuddering breath and wipes his face with the handkerchief the officer had wordlessly offered two minutes ago. Officer Minegeshi catches his puffy eyes in the rearview mirror and tries to offer him what appears to be a reassuring smile.
“Listen kid.” Death Arms sighs. “That was incredibly reckless of you to just jump in like that.”
“But-”
“I know it was your mother.” The hero continues, face pulled in a frown. He turns around and fixes Izuku with a hard gaze. “You could’ve done more damage than good if your bag had hit the other kid. Or if the villain had gotten either one of you instead. I heard what he said. You’re quirkless - being in the line of fire means being another liability the heroes have to look out for.”
Izuku wilts. More tears pool in his eyes at the comment. A liability. Death Arms is right - he could’ve made things worse for the heroes.
“That’s just the way it is, kid. You don’t have a quirk to protect yourself like the other kid did. It was dangerous. We’re lucky things turned out the way they did.”
Death Arms softens slightly when Izuku hiccups.
“Your mother is going to be fine,” the hero says.
Izuku wants to believe him, he really does, but something nags at him; it’s not over until Inko is back home with him, watching old movies on the couch together while sharing a blanket. The dread, dark and pooling in his belly, is unrelenting. Izuku forces himself to gaze out of the window. His fingers pick at the edge of his uniform.
Soon enough, Izuku sees Musutafu General Hospital looming closer. Officer Minegeshi turns into the lane, slowing down as he approaches the Emergency Ward where an ambulance is already parked. Before the car can even roll to a stop, Izuku pulls off his seat belt. He yanks the car door open, stumbling over his feet as he clambers towards the entrance. His only thought is to get to Inko as soon as possible.
There are a few people by the ambulance in pale blue scrubs. Izuku can see the paramedics from earlier standing at the door of the vehicle; one of them is running a hand through their orange hair. There’s a gurney peeking out from within the small gathering but no one seems to be rushing to get it moving. A silver skinned doctor raises a hand, sighing as they adjust something on their wrist.
No. Izuku’s heart rams wildly against his chest as he sprints. The closer he gets, the more clearly he can see the looks on their faces.
No.
“Time of death: 4.39pm.”
