Work Text:
Oh my god, he looks like a fucking Dratini.
Shang Qinghua snorted, tightly covering his lips with one hand. He needed to turn away from his king and lean against a tree, trying to hold back a loud laugh.The surprised expression on his king's face was absolutely ridiculous.
"This servant hates to mention it” a lie, it was a delight. "But I warned my king against touching these flowers. I’m afraid my king has been cursed.”
Mobei Jun hissed, stretching his little paw towards the advisor, and Shang Qinghua snorted with laughter once again.
Delight. An absolute delight.
His king was quite distracted this morning, forcing Shang Qinghua to fix his coat multiple times, search for missing notes for the Council, and carry important, yet forgotten manuscripts for him. All things Mobei Jun usually did himself. What's worse, those distractions accompanied his king's usual irritation. Which made the whole day harder because his help was rewarded with a deep snarl or a scowl. No wonder that after several hours of such treatment, Shang Qinghua was on the brink of snapping himself. They clearly needed a break.
So, they decided to go for a walk.
It wasn't Shang Qinghua who chose the place - it was his king who rolled his eyes and opened a portal to a random spot in the human realm - but he still breathed a sigh of relief when he smelt the sweet scent of grass and trees. He missed it in the Ice Palace. Mobei Jun didn't seem to enjoy the scenery itself, but the silence in the forest did bring some peace to his king, making Shang Qinghua smile.
"Ah, my king, I wouldn't touch that." Shang Qinghua brushed the demon's wrist lightly, taking his hand away from the pink grass. Plot device number 238, it makes a person uncontrollably hungry. They had just started this walk, he didn't want to go back yet.
“I wouldn't touch that either” Number 127, squeaking cones. Perfectly safe, just very loud. His king did not like noise.
Mobei Jun shot him an annoyed look, but held his hands behind his back, preventing himself from touching anything in the woods. Shang Qinghua nodded happily and closed his eyes, enjoying the warm breeze on his face. It was a nice day. Warm, smelling like autumn, pleasing the skin with the sun, but cool enough that they didn’t have to change their winter robes.
Relaxing.
The problem was, it wasn't relaxing enough. At least not for his king.
"Ah, I wouldn't touch that either, it's an extremely annoying one." Shang Qinghua opened one eye as his king glared at the bush of the blossoming number 97.
“What it is this time.” Mobei Jun turned towards him. “Singing petals, another aphrodisiac or acne cure?”
“No, my king, it's just - ”
Mobei Jun tightened his fingers on one of the flowers, looking at the servant without blinking.
“This king is stronger than just any weeds”
Shang Qinghua felt his eyelid twitch as he quickly nodded.
“… They are just demonic Flowers of the Beast Within, of course my king is stronger than this.” he agreed, screaming a bit inside.
Puffs of steam exploded around his king's silhouette, covering everything around with a flickering, weird smelling cloud, and Shang Qinghua had to hold back a sneeze. He hated those cheap special effects. He waved his hand trying to dispel the steam and saw an unfamiliar shape on the stump next to it. Oh, ok, there he was, as a blue, absolutely adorable, noodle dragon.
Of fucking course.
Shang Qinghua had to close his eyes for a moment, not believing what he was looking at. His king was the size of Qinghua’s arm.
Well, to be fair, dragons were considered the absolute most dangerous beast of the northern plains. They were more powerful than the Rhinoceros Python, even if they were hundreds of times smaller than them. His king in this form was no less a menace than in his normal demonic form. He was absolutely deadly.
Deadly cute.
Shang Qinghua took a deep breath. Well, whether he wanted it or not, he had to undo it.
"I guess my mighty, wise and powerful king needs a cure?" Qinghua crouched down beside the tiny dragon, watching the sun's rays play on the blue scales. Mobei Jun just blinked at him.
“Oh, my king, no need to hold back, one word and this servant will do anything you wish.” There was a grin on Qinghua’s face. “Tell me what can I do for you, my king, so—”
Mobei Jun hissed, shaking the tiny horns he didn't have in his normal form. Qinghua stared at them for a moment in awe, unexpectedly disappointed that he didn’t write his king with a nice pair of horns. He would look amazing with them. And the tail. Gods, the sweet, sweet dangling tail! What if Mobei Jun wagged to welcome his servant? Lower it when he was sad? Oh wait, no, he had to deal with a dragon, not a dog. Qinghua stopped his hand inches from touching the scales. Petting dragons was probably different from petting dogs.
“So” he repeated, focusing on the cure again.
First, the classic, papapa with Luo Binghe. Which wasn’t going to happen, for obvious reasons. They didn’t have Luo Binghe.
Second, papapa with anyone, but upside down. Shang Qinghua was so into monsterfucking, but not into fucking something smaller than him, especially something that much smaller than him.
Shang Qinghua sighed. That left them with the third option.
“Technically, it should be enough to bring the energy from the highest meridian to the lowest meridian during increased blood flow,” Qinghua said. “Which means that my king will have to get his legs upside down... his paws upside down, preferably after increased physical exertion, and exchange some qi with this servant. Or at least I think it should work this way”
Well, hell, he wasn’t going to try the first or second possibility.
Mobei Jun was surprisingly good at mapping his emotions on the dragon's face. Especially the… angry ones.
“Should this servant demonstrate?” He asked.
The human withdrew his hand at the last moment before being bitten.
“All right, now, now. This one lives to serve.” He said sarcastically. Shang Qinghua chose one of the more stable-looking trees, shed his outer robes and boots, and stretched his shoulders. Okay, it's been a good few years since he last played monkey bar, but it can't be that bad, right? Especially in this body?
Qinghua grabbed a tree trunk and bounced off the ground. Okay, it wasn't tragic. The bark was scratching his robes a bit, and the branch was not slippery enough to pivot, but the general assumptions should be met. He rubbed his chest against the trunk, pulled it a little higher, hooked his foot on the branch and hung upside down, wrapping his whole body around the tree.
Shang Qinghua took a deep breath, twisting his neck towards the dragon.
Oh, he had no idea dragons could change color.
His king was slightly peach now. What a lovely shade.
“Does my king need any guidance?” He asked.
Mobei Jun looked away, but after a moment he stuck his claws into the branch next to him. Shang Qinghua watched as his king carefully wrapped his paws around it. He looked cute and clumsy, swinging on the thin trunk as if he had trouble controlling all six legs. Which… he probably had.
Shang Qinghua gracefully slipped from his own tree and secured his king's small body.
“Ready?” He asked.
Mobei Jun set himself upright and looked at his man expectantly. Shang Qinghua smiled and gently placed the dragon's face in his hands, placing a kiss between the horns.
It poofed and this time Shang Qinghua couldn't hold the sneeze. He grunted at the weight of his king, lying directly on his stomach.
Mobei Jun was staring at him intensely, making no sign of moving aside. Shang Qinghua blinked, confused.
"My king?" he blushed. "Is everything alright?"
Mobei Jun moved closer, and stopped inches from his servant's face. Shang Qinghua swallowed loudly, staring into his king's completely focused face. It was the most uninterrupted focus he'd displayed all day.
"If my king needs anything, this servant will be happy to help, but I'm afraid telepathy is not a technique that this servant has mastered." Shang Qinghua looked away, feeling a bit awkward under the demon's gaze. “My king has been acting weird all day. This Shang Qinghua will happily solve any problems, but, uh, words are an important part of communication.” Mobei Jun leaned even more, and Qinghua flinched, feeling cold breath on his jaw. “Most important, I would say. We have already talked about the words, my king. For example, it would be nice using them, right my- "
Mobei Jun raised his eyes to the sky, then leaned over Shang Qinghua's face, pressing their lips together.
So much for words, Shang Qinghua thought, letting out an indignant groan.
"Mmiingfff" he muttered, gently slapping his king's arm.
Mobei Jun reluctantly stepped back, looking at his man from under lowered eyelashes.
"What Shang Qinghua wishes to hear," he asked, pushing him to the ground.
"What's the matter with you today?" Shang Qinghua took a deep breath, staring into his king's face, "First you can't concentrate on the smallest things, then you deliberately curse yourself for no reason, and finally you push me into the ground like ... like some demon lord!"
Shang Qinghua blinked, realizing that this might not have been the best comparison.
"Anyway, what's gotten into you, you acted like you were enchanted even before you ended up as a dragon!" He pointed.
"Well, what if this king really was enchanted?" Mobei Jun smirked. "What's the most popular cure for this particular problem?"
Shang Qinghua hesitated.
"Uhhhh… Sex?" He asked.
"Exactly." Mobei Jun said, pinning him deeper into the grass, closing his mouth with a kiss.