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Childe has always felt the Abyss's influence on him since he first slipped through the cracks and into the Abyss.
Since he met the swordswoman, his master.
His princess.
Lumine.
Even when he was 14, young and baby-faced, he was instantly enamored with Lumine from the moment he laid eyes on her.
(He still is.)
He remembers wanting to stay with her. Little Ajax begging her to let him stay, to allow him to get stronger to be worthy to be at her side. And of course, she doesn't let him.
"The Abyss is no place for a child like you," she once said so coldly, but in her eyes, there was a lace of worry. It was tiny, minuscule. But if anything, that just inspired Ajax further.
"I-I'll grow up!" he declared. eyes full of determination as lifeless as they appear to be. "And when I do... please look at me."
Lumine is silent for a while, staring at him with a blank stare before placing a delicate hand on his head, gingerly brushing his auburn locks. Ajax leaned into her hand, almost purring under her touch.
"Once you affiliate yourself with the Abyss, you become an enemy to the world and all of humanity. There's no going back. Is that what you truly want?" her question echoed—has continued to echo—in his head since he left.
It has been stuck in his head for years.
Childe may have sworn loyalty to the Tsaritsa, became the 11th Fatui Harbinger. But he dreams. And when he dreams he hears the Abyss calling, beckoning for his return. To cast away humanity and reunite with them in their conquest against the world.
Admittingly, it scared him at first but after a few years, he kinda learned to tune it out. Ever since becoming one of the Tsaritsa's Harbingers and gaining a delusion, Childe has no need to use Foul Legacy. He's already a menace without it.
Plus there was nothing for him to fight for him to use that form. No one was worthy enough for him to bring out Foul Legacy.
He hears voices shaming him. How dare he not use the power bestowed upon him by their princess!
He ignores them and continues with his harbinger job, now with the task of getting Rex Lapis' gnosis. Everything was going fine, sure there were some hiccups in his plan with the new addition to his plan. (He ignores how much the Traveler looks so much like his princess; golden hair, golden eyes. The resemblance is uncanny and seeing him reminded Childe of her even after all these years.)
Until the fight in the Golden House.
After being defeated using Foul Legacy, the first thing that came to Childe's mind wasn't 'Oh, finally a worthy opponent' but it was instead 'I couldn't defeat him using Foul Legacy. She would be disappointed in me' and he blinks, rendering what he just thought.
Why is he thinking of his master now? Was it because he used Foul Legacy again?
Childe can feel the Abyss influence coursing through his veins when he detransforms, he can hear the whispers getting louder, louder than they've ever been before. After tuning the voices out for so long, to hear them come back with such force scared him.
Childe quickly makes his exit after summoning Osial, breathing more heavier than usual, his head hurts and he just, feels his control over his Foul Legacy slipping.
It twitches, it wants out.
It's like its own entity...
Childe tries to stay low for a while, especially after the fiasco with summoning Osial and almost drowning all of Liyue Harbor. Him staying low doesn't last long. Not when his baby brother, Teucer, snuck himself on a boat and then the Ruin Guard factory event...
Childe thinks something's wrong with him when the first thing that pops up in his mind when he's suffering from using Foul Legacy was 'If I can’t handle Foul Legacy, how will I ever prove myself to Her' and because he used Foul Legacy again recently there have been... changes... in both his surroundings and in Childe.
The Ruin Guards no longer aggro on him on sight, simply just ignore him as if he wasn’t a hazard. The Hilichurls run from him, or in other cases: they follow him, awaiting his orders or something.
The Abyss mages... they talk to him. Commenting, coaxing him to turn to the Abyss, to join them and return to Her.
Childe makes quick work of them, but the sweat rolling down his forehead was not from the fight with the mages.
It's a fight with himself, with Foul Legacy.
Foul Legacy: the abyssal part of Childe. The power that his princess—no his master—bestowed upon him.
Childe struggles to get in touch with himself, with Foul Legacy, and his surroundings. The Abyssal influence latches onto him with a vice grip and—
There's a soft familiar hum.
That melody... it's not like his mother's lullabies or the little tunes Tonia hums. The first notes hit him like a wave.
Lumine hummed this during their time in the Abyss.
Lumine's melody.
It's so faint, so quiet and far but Childe's feet drag him to the singing, like an unfortunate sailor lured by a siren's song.
And Childe's fully aware of it. Allows himself to walk towards the sweet humming that he's been craving to hear after all these years.
Childe finds her at the edge of a cliff under the pale moonlight. Her blonde hair and white dress gently blowing in the wind.
When she turns around Childe's breath hitches.
She looks exactly how she did years ago.
Breathtakingly beautiful.
"It's you..." he breaths.
"Ajax," a name he hasn't heard in years. Her sweet voice rings through his ears. The fog in his head clears and he feels like melting under her attention, sated and happy to gain the attention of his princess again after all these years. "Or is it Tartaglia? Or Childe? I keep getting different names for you from my mages I'm never sure what to call you anymore." She giggles, it’s a soft chime, gazing at him with slight fondness.
Childe feels like his knees are buckling under all his weight, begging to fall to the grass and kneel by his princess’s side. "You can call me anything. Anything you want," he rasps out.
Gods.
He's so weak.
"Then... how about I call you my Knight? My Herald?" she hums, a small smirk of her lips followed by a little laugh and shit— he's so weak. He doesn't even hate it either. To be called hers.
She is his princess. Has always been in his head.
Lumine slowly approaches him and Childe holds his breath as she leans up, gently caressing the bangs from his forehead. "You've grown taller," she whispers with a fond smile.
"I've grown stronger too." For you, he wants to say but doesn't. Instead, he just closes his eyes, leaning into his princess's delicate touch.
"Have you now?" There's mirth dancing in her eyes. "Enough to beat me in a duel?"
And Childe laughs, a carefree one that he hasn't let out in a while since. "Perhaps! Maybe if my princess would indulge in a spar with her Herald?"
Suddenly, Lumine steps back, he feels the warmth of her body leave him and he almost reaches out towards her to stop her from leaving. Did he say something wrong?
"...you're not my Herald. You're not my anything." She says, frowning. Her gaze hardening. She pulls away and Childe—or was it Foul Legacy?—almost wants to scream 'NO!' and pull her back.
"I could be," he says with no hesitation. And Lumine's deadly silent, her stare cold.
"You shouldn't joke so lightly about that."
"I'm not," Childe says earnestly.
"You can't be my Herald." Her tone makes it seem like it’s final, but Childe pushes.
"Why not?!" Doesn't she know how much his body has been calling out to her? How much his mind is so much clearer to be by her side again?
"Because everything the Abyss touches," Lumine stares directly into his eyes. Emotions void from those golden pools. "Will all be tainted. Destroyed."
"But... the Abyss has already got its influence on me?" Childe says, perplexed.
"I know," Lumine sadly smiles. "And I wish for it not to spread any further."
"There's very little in this world that matters to me, which is why I have no qualms in destroying it. But I wish to not get some people involved. My brother," she cups his cheek. "And you."
Childe leans into her touch, something inside him is purring with the knowledge that his princess cares so much for him to not get him involved in her quest to destroy the world.
How cute.
"And if I said I wanted to help you?" He murmurs, pressing a kiss inside her palm.
"You shouldn't..." Lumine hesitates. "Doesn't this world matter to you?"
"It doesn't if it's against you." He gently kisses the back of her hand, happy how she doesn't pull away this time.
"And your family?"
Childe pauses. Thinking because he does love his family. He'd wish no harm to them, even if he couldn't quit his job as a Harbinger for them.
"I can convince them. They already love your brother, and I know they'll love you too." Childe gets closer to her and holds her hands. "Let me stay by your side Printsessa. You hear it too right? How the Abyss is calling for me to return? To serve our princess by her side?" He leans down, close to her face, and whispers lowly, "Let me destroy the world for you, Lumine."
His eyes darken, a thin, twisted smile growing on his face. "Allow me to conquer the world for you to do whatever you wish. Allow me to be your Knight... your Herald."
Lumine stays silent for a couple of seconds, looking up into Childe's deep gaze. So blue, so dark. The Abyssal influence swirls in them as well as the hearts in his eyes.
"Once you affiliate yourself with the Abyss," she mutters. "You become an enemy to the world and all of humanity. There's no going back. Is that what you truly want?" The same question that's been plaguing Childe's mind for years.
And he's finally got an answer.
There are whispers floating around Teyvat, Liyue especially, that the Tsaritsa's 11th Harbinger, Childe, has gone missing in action.
The only possessions they've found left of the man: his mask and delusion.
In the distance, the Order rejoices.
Their Princess's Herald was back.