Chapter Text
Taichi hadn’t felt like doing much ever since starting at his university.
The days seemed to bleed together, defined only by the days with Touma or at school, and nights in which Taichi rubbed his thumbs together, thinking of Futaba.
The two had decided to attend university in different cities. Taichi had never been in a relationship, let alone one that kept himself physically separate from his girlfriend. It was easier knowing that Touma only lived a few streets away from him, right by the ocean. He and Touma often went there to toss around a baseball (Taichi was, in fact, very bad. But he’s learning). Touma talked about his job at the bakery, Taichi talked about nothing particularly important. He was still figuring out the whole “career” thing, simply following the schedule laid out by the engineering department. It felt good, to have what felt like hands guide him through schooling. And he didn’t feel lonely, which plagued his thoughts in the months preceding his orientation. He was getting used to the day-in and day-out of adulthood, and with Touma in his life for good, he didn’t feel like there was much to be scared of anymore.
He texted Futaba goodnight after a small conversation over text, taking in a deep breath before his dreams soothed him to sleep.
-
Taichi dreamt of school, naturally. He dreamed of showing up late, of watchful eyes on his back. He dreamt of a cat following his footsteps down a long hallway. He paced through the empty school, each footstep echoing as the cat’s meow trailed along. He felt anxious. Why did he feel anxious?
Upon entering a classroom, Touma sat there, battle pencils splayed out on the desk. It made Taichi blush, a laugh escaping from his mouth.
“Still into the game, huh?”
Touma just grinned; it always seemed like an invitation for warmth. Taichi took this opportunity to sit down, fiddling with the battle pencils.
After fiddling with the battle pencils for what felt like hours, Taichi found his subconscious focusing on Touma’s shoulders, his hands, his ear, the corners of his smile. His dream granted him the anonymity of staring. It’s not as if this was something Taichi hadn’t done before. He remembered watching Touma in the haunted house at the school’s festival, hands confirming Touma’s build as his own. He remembered Touma’s baseball game, cheeks flushed with their team’s victory. And he remembered the train, pressing up against Touma, breathing in Touma as his hands gripped his shirt. This isn’t weird. Just because his best friend happened to confess his feelings doesn’t mean Taichi can’t look at him. It’s not weird.
But then, Taichi watched his lips.
Touma wasn’t the type to stutter. He said each word with so much confidence. Like each breath was a declaration of his existence. Taichi was the opposite, his words coming out like apologies. They weren’t the same. This was just admiration….
Until Taichi put his thumb directly onto Touma’s lips.
His lips were soft. Taichi daintily brushed over them, tracing the edges until Touma took his hand. He kissed each finger, Taichi’s face reddening with each soft touch of his lips to skin. His senses felt heightened, the sunbeams coming through the classroom windows making Taichi’s face feel even warmer and more flushed. He opened his mouth, unsure of what he was about to say.
“I-“
And almost immediately, Taichi woke up to the sun beating down on to his face. Sweat lined his forehead. He had slept in.
He placed his hand on his heart and found its beat rapid with….excitement?
He shook the idea out of his mind. Just a dream, he told himself, just a dream.
He got up swiftly to shower, eager to find something to distract himself from acknowledging what just happened. As the cold water rushed over his head, he tensed up, putting his fingers to his lips. What would kissing a man feel like? He shook his head, as if throwing his thoughts against the wall and down the drain. Don’t think about it. Don’t. Think. About. It.
Taichi checked his phone and found a missed call from Touma. Without hesitating, he called him back. Touma answered as he normally does: all kindness, without any idea of what he did in Taichi’s dream.
“Hey! You free today? My boss let me go home early, and I brought home some pastries from the shop. We can play that new video game you were talking about, if you want!”
Taichi smiled. It always feels good to talk to him.
“Sure. I’ll be over in 10, if that’s cool.”
-
Nothing had changed. The hum of the Xbox mirrored the blank state of Taichi’s mind, nothing but white noise to forget what he had dreamt. He wouldn’t let some stupid dream make him reconsider his entire friendship. He chose Touma as his best friend. Touma had confessed nearly a year ago. And these feelings were fleeting ones. It’s not as if Taichi had ever felt this way….he thinks.
But as he hands Touma the console and watches him play, his gaze is focused on his hands. He has really nice hands. Taichi lifted his own to his face, rubbing his eyes to reset his thoughts. Focus. You don’t care. Just a dream.
“Taichi?”
He flinched, cheeks turning red, as they do when Taichi feels flustered (which, is pretty often). He looked up from his hands to see Touma’s own in his face, waving to get his attention.
“It’s your turn to play!”
Taichi just laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry. Just thinking.”
“About what?”
Taichi hesitated. Of course he’s not going to tell Touma. He doesn’t want to complicate things. And besides, these things happen. They don’t have to mean anything.
“Ah, nothing. Just slept funny. How’s the shop?”
“It’s good. Same old customers. Ryo asked me out on a date though.”
Taichi felt himself tense up. Touma’s lips. He remembered.
“Really? That’s cool…..” A small moment of silence passed. “Did you say yes?”
Touma put his hand behind his head and smiled sheepishly.
“Yeah. He’s pretty cute. I’m not sure where it’s going to go, but I figured I may as well try. Ryo’s pretty smart. He goes to your school, I think.”
Eyes wide, Taichi fell back into a laugh. He was happy for his friend. This is good. Touma needs this.
“No way! Ah, I’ll have to find him and make him promise not to break your heart or something. I gotta be the good best friend, right?” He punched the air a bit for extra measure. Touma let out a hearty laugh, and it made Taichi feel just a little more grounded. Nothing had changed.
“You sure you can take him? He is a little taller than you.”
“Oh, so now we’re making fun of my height? Not fair, Mr. 6-Foot-2.”
“I just think you need to prepare for a good fight.” Touma lifted his hands. “Try it on me!”
Taichi shifted towards Touma, their knees almost touching. He lifted his arm and punched Touma’s open hand. Touma let out a laugh.
“That all you got?”
Taichi’s face turned into a dramatic frown.
“I’m going easy on you.”
“You think I can’t take it?”
Taichi’s face burned red. What does flirting sound like….with a guy? He ignored the thought and kept punching.
“So…what’s Ryo like?”
Touma’s eyes widened a bit, but he sighed and eased into a soft smile.
“He’s a bioengineering major. But he has a thing for baking, which is why he’s working at the shop.” A punch to Touma’s right hand. “He’s gay, too. We kind of bonded over being outed. But, he didn’t have a hard time readjusting once people knew.” A punch to Touma’s left hand. “We talk a lot about growing up in the closet. And about our future careers. He wants to take me out to the same beach we go to.” A punch, with a little more force, to Touma’s right hand. “He told me he’s into tall guys. And apparently, guys who play baseball have nice….butts.” Taichi stopped punching.
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah. What, do you agree?”
Taichi laughed.
“I guess that uniform was doing you some unfair favors.”
“I mean, the whole reason I played baseball was to look good while doing it, right?” Touma put his hands on his hips and winked. Taichi felt his heart tighten so much, like it was going to break into pieces. “I’m kidding! Just funny how that’s a thing I didn’t even know about. But yeah, our date’s tomorrow. I don’t even know what to wear. Could you help me?”
Taichi shrugged. “Sure. I’m not exactly the most stylish guy, but I can try.”
Touma got up, pulling his shirt off in one fluid motion as he went to his closet. Taichi sucked in a breath. He knew Touma was muscular but jesus christ. His shoulder blades moved with each shirt Touma sifted through. Taichi felt so dizzy that he lowered his head down on the bed, watching Touma carefully and rubbing his thumbs together. Nothing has changed. Nothing has changed. Nothing has changed.
“Okay, how do I look?”
Touma raised his arms sheepishly, donning a white turtleneck, dark blue corduroy jacket, and black pants. Taichi just smiled and gave a thumbs up. He didn’t want to suggest anything but support for his friend. And he looked good. God, did he look good.
“Are you sure? I’ve never really prepared for a date or anything. I think it’ll be cold too.”
“No, it’s good. You look really good.”
Touma’s cheeks reddened just a bit, and he gave Taichi a soft smile, one of the millions he’s already given him.
“Thanks, Taichi.”
-
Taichi could barely fall asleep. He couldn’t stop thinking about Touma, and his lips, and his hands, and the look on his face when Taichi had touched him in his dream. He felt swallowed whole by the chills rushing over his body, palms sweaty despite the cold seeping in from the window ajar by his bedside. Restless, he decided to check his phone. Four unopened messages from Futaba.
Hi Taichi!! I miss you. >.< How are classes?
Did you see Touma today? Masumi told me he’s going on a date!! *o*
I worked with some daffodils today in the garden. I thought of you <3
I love you!!
Taichi smiled.
I miss you too. Touma’s good. Told me about the date today, he’s excited. The flowers sound nice, send me a picture when you can! Love you too.
After sending the text, Taichi opened the search bar on his phone.
What do I do if I dreamt about kissing my best friend?