Chapter Text
“Slow down Midoriya! Don’t forget about the anniversary dinner tonight!” Eijirou commanded.
“Oh,,, yeah I guess you're right- I’ll save the rest of this for later.” I packed up the leftovers I was scarfing down on and put them back in our fridge; a little flustered that Eijirou had to scold me like that but that’s how living with him goes. Eijirou and I have been roommates for a year, we both decided to hold off on being pro heroes and pursue a higher education, since then we’ve been more or less taking care of eachother.
I turned back from the fridge to sit back down on the makeshift card table we set up in the kitchen only to notice that Eijirou had already left to shower. Even though he is over there all the time I can tell that this dinner is making him particularly nervous, which explains why he's getting ready 4 hours early. Nevertheless his spirit always seems to invigorate mine and I decide to start right away cooking the dish we volunteered to bring.
“Katsuki wouldn’t like the way you're doing that.” Eijirou came back into the kitchen from his shower. Our apartment is rather old and has a galley kitchen about the width of an average hallway. Eijirou entered through the doorway at the very end moving both me and the card table on his way to the window on the other end of the room. He scooted potted plants to make room for his elbows on the particularly high window sill, resting his head in his hands looking longingly out into the convenience store on the street below.
“Kaachan would’ve taken this knife from me a long time ago.” I laugh, genuinely trying not to cut myself.
“YOU IDIOT! IF YOU AREN’T GONNA MAKE THE DISH RIGHT WHY’D YOU SIGN UP TO BRING IT!” Eijirou’s Kaachan impression keeps getting more accurate, it almost scares me, but I can’t say that. I can’t tell if he thinks it’s funny or he just loves him that much, but I laugh anyway.
Eijirou finally turns around and walks over to me and without words confiscates my knife and allows me to take my turn getting ready.
After finishing everything and using the extra time to go for a run and each shower again we board a bus to the Bakugou’s house. Eijirou takes the window seat while I get to hold the warm casserole dish in my lap. Eijirou tells me stories set in the places we pass. I didn’t really know Eijirou too well even at UA so it’s nice to always be learning more about him. We pass by the cemetery.
“Hey look at Midoriya, it's where my car was last seen, remember that?” He reminisced.
“Yeah I guess it is, although I don’t really know why you are so fond of that memory Eijirou, that was a pretty nice car and you had a custom license plate and everything I mean I get the circumstances where you had to leave where more important but still wouldn’t that make the memory worse? I mean I remember that too and even I-”
“You’re muttering again…” he teased. “I don’t mind but- well I don’t know how to explain it but I guess I think it’s funny how stupid I was that day, I don’t get it either.”
“Oh I get it like foresight, haha yeah I guess that’s right it’s pretty obvious leaving your car in a random parking lot for weeks is a great way to get it stolen.” Now I was laughing harder than he was.
“heeeeee alright…” Eijirou side eyed me. He definitely could tell I was overcompensating but I did really think it was funny now. The apartments out the window had turned into houses which turned into luxury homes which meant it was almost our stop which was perfect because I was getting pretty hungry.
When our stop came I carefully got up to exit without dropping my precious cargo. Eijirou thanked the bus driver and offered to carry the dish the rest of the way.
We stood in front of his house and Eijirou stopped and got serious. He’s been mostly happy all day, seeming distant and nostalgic which makes sense for what day it is, but now he is staring cold and serious looking up above the house, at the challenge that awaits him.
“Has it really been a year, Deku?” He didn’t break his gaze.
“I don’t go by that name anymore…” The response was involuntary but did it really still bother me after all this time?
“I thought it has been long enough.” Eijirou broke his stair and proceeded. I skipped to catch up to him.
Before we had the chance to even get to the door Mitsuki opened it suddenly.
“HEY YOU GUYS ARE EARLY THE FOOD ISN’T EVEN READY, GO HOME” She shouted.
“WELL OUR FOOD IS READY IT WAS GONNA GET COLD!! WE DON’T CONTROL THE BUS LINES EITHER!” Eijirou barked back. Their relationship is so similar to Kaachan’s and his mother.
“YEAH MAYBE IF YOU DIDN’T LOSE THAT CAR YOU IDIOT!” Yep, just like Kaachan and Mitsuki. Just then I heard a familiar voice.
“Izuku!” It was my Mom this time. “You’re here early! I am so happy Izuku!” Unburdened by the dish I ran in to greet her.
“Mom I am so glad to see you.”
“Izuku you need to visit more. I know you’re not doing prohero work anymore but still I worry so much about you. I mean even college can be a scary place even without villains to worry about, all the stress underage drinking, cooking by yo-”
“Mom I’m fine I’ll visit more I promise.” She smiled warmly back at me, I really do miss her.
Just then Eijirou finally made it inside the house, took his shoes off and placed the dish on the kitchen table.
“REALLY KIRISHIMA THE TUXEDO T-SHIRT, AGAIN?” I knew that Mitsuki wouldn’t like what he was wearing the moment I saw that's what he put on. “THIS IS A BLACK TIE EVENT WHAT ARE THINKING?”
“LIGHTEN UP! IT'S JUST US!” Eijirou should not have said that.
“JUST US WHA-” Just then Mitsuki was cut off.
“Hey why don’t we sit down,” suggested Masaru. “Boys why don’t you sit in Katsuki’s spot on the bench.” The energy evaporated from the room replaced with stiff silence. The reminder of why we’re here sunk all of our spirits.
You see, one year ago today, was Kaachan’s funeral.
Kaachan had an explosion quirk and we all knew the risk he was taking in trying to become a pro. Pro’s with quirks like his often end up in accidents if they lose control of their power and end up with career stopping or like Kaachan, fatal injuries. Kaachan was continuing his work just shortly after graduation with the agency that he did his work study with. That day Kaachan was stressed about letting a villain escape in a previous mission and so when a villain with a speed quirk robbed a pawn shop he was determined to catch him.
Unfortunately for Kaachan the villain ran into a warehouse that had a major gas leak which was unnoticed while it was closed for the weekend. The explosions Kaachan was using to propel himself ignited the highly concentrated gas, causing a major explosion killing both Kaachan and the villian, who had only stolen about $300 in merchandise.
Kaachan had mastered controlling his explosion and he and his teachers were confident in his ability to use them in a way which was safe for him, innocent bystanders and the villains he was fighting.
Kaachan had an incredibly powerful quirk that made him a prodigy and top of his class in both Middle School and High School at UA. It almost seemed certain that he would go pro. But at the same time his quirk took its toll. Kaachan’s powerful explosions fried his hands, caused hearing loss and finally ended his life.
I remember the day of the funeral vividly. It was hot and humid with an overcast, like it had been all month. Kaachan had a closed casket buried during the ceremony. Folding chairs were arranged on either side of the site creating a direct line of view to the people on the other side of the grave.
After the ceremony was over many people left, but many people stayed and mourned in silence longer. Of those who stayed it was Uraraka and Ida that left first, they were really there to support me after all. Then it was Yayarozou, Tsu and Todoroki. Next Sero, Ashido and Denki left. Then it was All Might and lastly after him was Aizawa-sensei. That left Me, Mitsuki and Masaru, my Mom who was supporting Mitsuki along with Masaru throughout this, and Kirishima.
While our families sat in a group I looked across to other seats and saw Kirishima sitting all alone. Although he wasn’t crying I could see the pain and grief in his eyes. His skin rapidly and aimlessly hardened and eased. What Kirishima was experiencing was more than loss but frustration, denial but also a complete loss in direction. Throughout their time at UA Kaachan and Kirishima were completely inseparable in so much they practically shared a dorm room. There were always rumours they were engaged and that they would become a duo once they became pros. Kirishima even convinced Fatgum to let Kaachan join him in his work study where Kirishima likely would’ve become a sidekick after Tamaki and Mirio created their own pro agency.
Kirishima was the lid on Kaachan’s explosive nature. He was the only one who could stop him from being reckless. He could get through to him when no else could. Kirishima was the only one tough enough to withstand his explosions. But Kirishima wasn’t there the day Kaachan died. He wasn’t there to stop him from being stupid. He wasn’t there to tell him it didn’t matter that Kaachan let a villain escape because they would catch them later. He wasn’t there to tell Kaachan he still loved him, that was what was important.
I decided to walk over to him.
As I cautiously sat down, not wanting to disturb him, he sank his head further into his hands, running his fingers through his hair, which was for once unkept and soft, getting in his face and getting wet with tears.
“We’re both such idiots Deku.” He said completely choked up. He lifted his head up to face me.
“You know he always used to talk about you.” Was he trying to be sympathetic? “He always knew you were going to surpass him” This comment caught me off guard.
“Huh…? He seemed so su-” I decided not to rationalize it.
“He was gonna be so proud of you once you did.” Kirishima put on a brave smile, a brave smile I couldn’t even give back to him.
“Umm… Kirishima, My mom is making… his… parents a dinner at our house.” I started nervously at mentioning him. “You should be there too.”
Kirishima looked surprised before standing up and taking my hand. Although Kaachan and I were close rivals, I never did become close to Kirishima. Similarly most of Kaachan and Kirishima’s relationship took place at school and neither had much time to see their parents nevermind each other’s. It wasn’t that Kirishima didn’t know Kaachan’s parents, but they had only met formally a couple of times over the summer of last year. But Kirishima needed people and Mitsuki and Masaru needed Kirishima.
Kirishima and I sat in the back seat of the Bakugous’ car, both watching the cemetery and Kaachan fade into the distance. Since he didn’t know the way, Kirishima decided it would be best to ride with all us, even though he had driven here himself.
“Oh Kirishima, Katsuki loved you so much,” Mitsuki said once we had arrived at my place. She was hugging him tightly in a way that shocked him, maybe it reminded him of the way Kaachan used to hug him, something anyone rarely saw, in public at least.
“I love him too” Kirishima seemed as though he felt he was saying ‘I love you too’ back to Kaachan again.
We all sat down quietly while my Mom brought the food out. Our families had been doing dinners like this since I was little. Mitsuki and my Mom had always been very close and were so excited to each have a boy the same age. From a distance everything was the same with that dinner. Everything except Kirishima was sitting in Kaachan’s seat next to his parents and across from me. My mom and I that day ate fast and alot, trying to distract ourselves, while Kirishima and Kaachan’s parents sat with their hands in their laps.
Before anyone left I decided to excuse myself from the table and turn in early in my room. I laid there with my back to door and light streaming into my room. I didn’t want to leave them all out there but I couldn’t stay any longer. I closed my eyes tightly as I heard footsteps of people passing my door on their way out. But after that more footsteps approached and stopped at my door. I heard the door creak open and the light got into my eyes.
“I’m sorry Midoriya,” It was Kirishima. “But I… well… didn’t want to sleep alone tonight.” He asked shyly.
“Oh,,, of course.” That's right, Kirishima’s family moved far away when the dorms were implemented and he had been staying with a relative. It was a weird request, especially because he had never slept over before but I wasn’t going to worry about that right now.
“Hey you can use these If you’d like.” I pulled an extra pillow and quilt from under my bed. “Kaachan actually used to use this when he would sleep over.” Kirishima took the bedding into his arms, a little stunned, but he held them close and smiled.
“Thanks Midoriya.”
“Goodnight Kirishima.” I fell asleep listening to his soft and long breaths.
That’s how me and Eijirou became roommates. He ended up staying at our house for weeks with neither of us leaving. While everyone else began to move on we fell behind. We fell out of shape and gave up our spots at our pro-hero agencies.
It made sense, everyone else had to move on. But we couldn’t. I was alway striving to surpass Kaachan, it’s what drove me all those years. But I never did, he graduated number one and appeared closer to becoming a pro faster than anyone except Ida. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I had to finally take a break.
So did Kirishima, although it’s not how it started, Kirishima and Kaachan became an insular couple. They did everything together and kept others at a distance. I couldn’t imagine Red Riot without Dynomite next to him.
We decided to enroll in college to expand on the knowledge we learned in UA. If I was going to be the next symbol of peace someday I’d need to learn a whole lot more about how our super human society really worked. Kirishima agreed.
Throughout the dinner I kept thinking back to how this started. We were all this sad of course, but now we were also celebrating being together.
The Bus ride home started quiet, with a solemn mood and both of us had used up our social batteries.
“Do you really still miss him?” Eijirou inquired suddenly. What kind of question was that? Of course I still miss him today more than normal. If I said no he would probably be mad right? Was he trying to trick me? I am not showing enough remorse?
“I guess you don’t have to answer that sorry. Man, I- that's a heavy question nevermind.” He turned away from me, embarrassed for asking. Eijirou can be hard to understand, I knew there was something going on, something that was bothering him.
“No… It’s alright Eijirou, don’t worry about me, finish your thought.” I was hesitant to encourage him. I always knew that Eijirou was much closer to Kaachan at the end of his life than I was. I hope he wasn’t trying to prove something. But Eijirou isn’t like that.
“Well… y’know… a year ago you told me that Bakugou was your motivator and-”
“And now I’m doing better than ever in school, and getting back into shape.” I replied quickly, is he really questioning this? It’s because he’s with me! That's why we live together, I thought.
“Is that because… I remind you of him?” Eijirou asked. “Nevermind,,, haha I’m so- Izuku I’m really weirding you out. I shouldn’t be asking now; today’s probably been really hard for you too.” Again he turned away with regret.
'
“Eijirou, Tell ME!!” Now I am more curious than ever. Eijirou took a deep inhale before finally continuing.
“Well when we first lived together, you reminded me of him. You were always such a big piece of what he told me about growing up and I felt really close to him when I was with you. I could always remember the times he would talk about you. The times you act like you did in your guy’s childhood or whatever, like when you're determined to keep following, or the muttering, or the helping without being asked.” Eijiro was getting distracted, But I was still listening. “Anyway what I am trying to say is that I don’t feel like that anymore, you just don’t remind me of him anymore. You’re just… Izuku.”
“Eijirou are you saying you don’t want to be roommates anymore?” I hoped not.
“No! No! Ahrgrgh just hold on I’m not good with this.” He curled up slightly, bringing hardened fists to his face. “I want to say Bakugou reminds me of you now. Today thinking about him made me think about the way he talked about you. But I don’t remember it the same way. Instead of thinking about I felt about Bakugou while listening to him, or how great he was when he got fired up about beating you, I actually remember the guy he was talking about.”
“Eijirou...”
“I didn’t think I would feel the same way I felt about Bakugou towards anyone else again. I feel the way I felt missing Bakugou thinking about you, how I’m not with you. At the dinner today I wasn’t even thinking of him. Only how cool it was I was there with your family getting closer to you.” This wasn’t a normal confession. I could tell not only was he nervous to admit this, but also frustrated with himself. “Midoriya!? I can’t!! We said we’d love eachother forever and I’m breaking my promise.” Tears streamed and pooled along the now uneven texture of his face. “I’m losing him again.”
“Eijirou I don’t know what to say.” I was getting worried, Eijirou was slipping and our stop was coming up.
“Help me, Deku.”