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“Paul will have the logistics sent to you all within the hour. Any questions?”
The group of aurors and curse breakers glanced at one another, a few of them shaking their heads in response to the minister’s question.
Kingsley nodded. “Alright, great meeting everyone.”
They rose from their seats, beginning to break off to chat in small groups as they leisurely exited the room, except for Draco, who all but ran out the door. Harry didn’t realize he was staring at Draco’s quickly retreating back until Ron nudged him gently with his elbow. Harry didn’t have to look to know the knowing, somewhat pitying expression on his friend’s face.
Luckily, Ron didn’t push it. “Pub in twenty?”
Harry nodded. “Sure, I’ve just got to go over the Jacobson file in my office.”
Ron clapped him on the back before walking down the hallway. Harry turned, glimpsing white-blonde hair several feet from the door to his office. Draco seemed distracted, talking quietly and intimately with Marcus Flint, placing his hand lightly on Flint’s forearm and laughing. Harry was able to slip into his office unnoticed, his stomach twisting.
Carefully closing the door behind him, he closed his eyes and slumped against the wall, very tempted to sink to the floor. He scrubbed a hand over his face, willing himself to pull himself together. Once he was at the pub, he could drink to his liver’s dismay and his heart’s content.
Harry managed to walk to his desk, cluttered with files that were likely too confidential to be haphazardly strewn about and exposed to wandering eyes. He sank into his seat and ran a hand through his—disastrous, truly ridiculous, a posh voice drawled in his mind—hair. Ignoring the sudden tightness of his chest, he found the correct papers and studied them, finally muffling the thoughts that had been plaguing him for three months.
Harry startled when he felt his wand start buzzing in his pocket. He retrieved it and murmured the incantation to hear the message.
“Attention ministry employees: remain calm and find a designated waiting area. The building is on lockdown. I repeat: the building is on lockdown.”
Harry’s heart jumped in his throat. He stuffed his wand back into his pocket and jumped out of his chair, dashing to open the door, but he was immediately pushed back into his office.
“Unhand me, you brute!” Draco struggled against a woman wearing a hazmat suit. Harry’s eyes widened as Draco was abruptly shoved through the door.
“Mr. Malfoy, we are required to clear the hallways immediately, and this is the closest office. I apologize for the inconvenience, but we are on lockdown until further notice.”
“He can stay here. What happened?” Harry said, ignoring Draco’s huff in protest.
“The environmental hazard wards are picking up an unusual pattern of airborne particles,” she explained. “We’re working to determine the substance before allowing people out of the building.”
Harry nodded. “Alright, thank you, I’ll report to Kingsley for further instruction.” He started toward the door, but she stepped in front of him.
“I’m sorry, Auror Potter, but right now only personnel from the Department of Intoxicating Substances are currently allowed in the hallways. We are specially trained for this work, and all other employees must stay in the nearest room for the time being.”
“But there could be foul play! As an auror, it’s my job to investigate!”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m under strict orders to not allow any other Ministry employees into the hallways. You’ll have to wait here until we receive more instructions.”
Draco sputtered. “I can’t stay here with him!”
She sighed. “I’m sorry, gentlemen, I have to go.”
Draco pushed past Harry. “I don’t care! I’m leaving.”
Suddenly, she drew her wand. “Mr. Malfoy, I’ve been ordered to Stun anyone who breaches protocol. Please step back into the office.”
Draco’s eyes widened before narrowing to a deathly glare, but he stepped back grumbling.
“Thank you for your cooperation,” she said. “We will update you as soon as possible.”
With that, she closed the door, which automatically locked. Clenching his fists, Harry steeled himself and turned around.
Draco sneered at him before taking the chair in front of Harry’s desk to the other side of the room and sitting, looking out the window and defiantly not turning his eyes to Harry.
Harry rolled his eyes, moving to sit in his own chair.
Silence.
Harry tried not to stare at Draco. He really did. But if he was unable to tear his eyes away from him at Hogwarts—where there were always objectively more visually interesting and literally magical views to behold—how could he be expected to look at anything else when the next most interesting sight was his stapler?
Besides, if the tension in Draco’s jaw was anything to go by, it seemed Harry wasn’t the only one struggling with self-restraint. Curious, Harry experimented by looking away for a few moments before returning his gaze to Draco, who quickly turned his head back toward the window, a blush coloring his cheeks.
It gave Harry the courage to ask, “Are you just going to keep ignoring me?”
He thought the sound of his voice rending the thick silence in the air would snap Draco into engaging with him, but the only evidence that he’d even heard Harry was his slight flinch.
“Malfoy, come on. You could speak to me, at the very least.”
Draco folded his hands in his lap but otherwise didn’t move.
Harry sighed and looked away, giving up for now. He ran his hand through his hair, frowning when it just stayed sticking straight up. He combed through it with his other hand, trying to tame it somewhat—
“Oh, quit that, Potter, your hair is hopeless.”
Harry blinked at Draco in surprise. “I thought you liked my hair.”
“Whatever gave you that impression?”
“Well, you certainly used to enjoy running your fingers through it.”
Draco flushed again, but he managed to sneer. “I was checking it for lice. Merlin knows what insects and rodents have nested in it.”
“Sure. Whatever, Malfoy, maybe we should just go back to not speaking.”
“Fine by me.”
Another few minutes passed, and Harry grew increasingly restless. Gods, he’d waited months to get Draco alone again so they could talk, and now he was chickening out. He decided to try again.
“So, er, got any weekend plans?”
Draco raised an eyebrow at him. “What happened to not talking?”
Harry shrugged. “Changed my mind.”
“Well, I haven’t. What makes you think I want to talk to you?”
“We haven’t anything else to do.”
Draco glared at him. “I’d rather die of boredom than talk to you.”
“You and I both know that’s not true.”
“Do you?” Draco asked waspishly. “Since when do you know me that well, then?”
“I’ve only known you for, oh, 14 years now.”
“It’s not like we were close.”
“I’d say we were pretty friendly for a few months there, but then one of us got scared and ran off.”
“Me?!” Draco exclaimed. “You’re blaming me for ending our…ending it?”
“Well, I’m not the one who stopped answering Owls.”
Draco scoffed. “Excuse me for not wanting to be at your beck and call whenever you’re randy, Potter.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, please, don’t act all shocked. As if you didn’t know what you were doing.”
“Malfoy, I rarely claim to know what I’m doing. You know that.”
Draco suppressed a small laugh, replacing it with a scowl. “You only ever contacted me at night. You wanted to keep it quiet. I played the game. I was okay with it, with waiting to see if it was more serious before we wanted to go public. But you can’t expect a bloke to be your dirty little secret for six months.”
“Secret? Malfoy, we got drinks all the time!”
“Going to the Leaky with our mutual friends and coworkers does not count as a public date, Potter.”
“I…I never knew you felt this way. Why didn’t you say something?”
“What was there to say? ‘Hey, Potter, the sex is great, but do you maybe want to hold hands in public every once in a while so I have a little more dignity?’”
“It wasn’t just about sex for me, Malfoy. But I thought you were fine with how things were going, and I didn’t want to mess it up. Besides, it’s not like you made an effort, either. You never called me Harry even though I asked you to multiple times.”
Malfoy rolled his eyes. “You haven’t called me Draco in this whole conversation.”
“That’s because we’re broken up, you dolt. I called you Draco all the time when we were together. And I still think of you as Draco. But you only ever called me Potter.”
Draco frowned. “I didn’t realize it was that important to you.”
Harry shrugged. “It hurt a little, but I didn’t mind it too much because I thought you wanted to keep things casual.”
Draco opened his mouth for a moment before a guarded look fell over his face. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. I’ve moved on.”
Acidic jealousy rose like bile in Harry’s throat. “So I saw. You and Flint, huh?”
“Yes, if you must know.”
“How…” Harry swallowed. “How long?”
Draco glared at him. “That’s none of your concern.”
Harry’s blood ran cold. “It wasn’t…not while we were…”
Draco scoffed. “Of course not, Potter. I wouldn’t cheat on you, even if we were casual.”
Relief flooded Harry. “Good. Me neither.”
“Right. Well, I’ve been seeing Marcus for a month.”
“Oh, so him you call by his first name, but not me?”
“It’s different.”
“How?”
Draco flushed. “Everything’s different with you, Potter.”
“Tell me about him.”
Draco lifted his nose in the air. “He’s gentlemanly and romantic. Sensible, responsible, and very reassuring. He’s respectful and he was raised as a pureblood, so he knows all the traditions already. I couldn’t ask for anything better.”
Harry looked away, unable to speak for a moment. “I…I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you,” Draco said softly, his voice wavering a little.
Silence.
“So he makes you happy?”
Draco blinked. “Pardon?”
“Flint. He makes you happy?”
Draco nodded slowly. “Y-yes, I suppose.”
Harry raised an eyebrow. “You suppose. Are you happier with him than you were with me?”
“Well, we certainly don’t fight and bicker all the time, that’s for certain.”
“Malfoy…”
“I mean, all you and I did was fight and make up.”
Harry smirked. “But half the time we fought was just so we could make up again.”
Draco blushed, but his eyes glazed slightly and he didn’t respond.
“But anyway, that wasn’t my question.”
Draco swallowed, looking back at the window. “Let’s go back to not speaking.”
A jolt ran through Harry’s body. “Answer me, Malfoy,” he said more firmly. “Are you happier with him than you were with me?”
Draco shook his head, still not looking at Harry.
Harry stood, walking on shaky legs over to Draco. He lifted his finger to gently turn Draco’s face toward his.
“Draco, please.”
“You have no right!” Tears welled in Draco’s eyes as he suddenly stood up from the chair, forcing Harry to step back.
“W-what?”
“You! You can’t just—just do this! Be all Gryffindor and expect me to come running back into your arms.”
“I-I just asked if you were happier with him or me, Draco. I wanted to know if he makes you feel—”
Draco laughed ruefully. “Potter, you make me feel more than anyone else in my life.”
Harry’s heart stuttered. “Then why did you leave?” he croaked.
“How could you expect me to stay with a man who made me feel everything when I thought he felt nothing in return?”
“Nothing?” Harry said harshly. “You can’t tell me that you thought I felt nothing for you. Jesus, Draco, I know I wasn’t exactly forthcoming with my emotions all the time, but you and I…we had a connection unlike any other I’ve ever had, and I know you felt it too.”
“Of course I did.”
“Then, other than not explicitly asking you out on a public date—like an utter fool—what did I do to make you think your feelings weren’t reciprocated? Like I wasn’t falling—”
“Don’t,” Draco said, barely whispering. “Don’t finish that sentence. Potter, I just…got scared. I wanted more and didn’t know how to ask for it. So I fled. Like the coward I am.”
Harry’s heart sank. He walked over to Draco, cupping his cheek in his palm.
“I was as cowardly as you were. This was both of our faults. I never should have let you go.”
Draco closed his eyes, letting a couple of the tears fall. Harry wiped them away with the pad of his thumb.
“Draco, I miss you. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.”
Draco opened his eyes. “What do you think about?”
Harry smiled a little. “I remember that time I surprised you by canceling our Impervious charms when it was raining, and you sputtered for a moment before I kissed you. I remember how you made fun of my ratty old trainers, and I suddenly had a brand new pair the next day. I think about playing Seeker’s games and how I began liking it more when you won because of how your face lights up when you catch the snitch. I remember it all, Draco.”
Draco’s lips turned up at the edges. “Oh Harry, I remember it too. I think about the Muggle movies you showed me, and how you would say the words with the characters when you knew them. I remember how you’d ask me to read my book aloud when we went to bed at night. I remember when you made my favorite dinner after I had a long day of work. I go over those memories in my head all the time.”
“Gods, Draco, I’m so sorry I ever made you feel less than what you are. I’m sorry for not proving that to you every day.”
Draco wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck. “I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry I shut you out, that I left and hid rather than telling you how I felt. I’ve missed you, so much.”
Harry held back tears. “What about Flint?”
“An attempt to get over you. Clearly a failed one,” Draco laughed softly.
“I’m glad, because Draco, I want to do it right this time. Publicly.”
“Me too, more than anything, but what about the press?”
Harry chuckled. “Draco, I’d take out an ad in the Prophet if it would make you happy.”
Draco grinned. “Well, that won’t be necessary, but I think we can work something out.”
“Good, because now that I have you, Draco Malfoy, I have no intention of letting you go again.”
Draco raised an eyebrow playfully. “Even when we fight, Potter?”
Harry smirked. “I think we established that even our fighting has its benefits, Malfoy.”
Draco hummed. “I suppose, as long as we only fight with each other from now on.”
“Of course, that way we can get right to making up,” Harry waggled his eyebrows, and Draco laughed, pulling Harry into a kiss.
They stood there, too wrapped up in one another to notice their wands starting to buzz. After a few minutes, the door unlocked.
“Ahem, gentlemen, pardon me, but the lockdown is over. You’re free to go,” the woman was now out of her hazmat suit, looking amused in the doorway.
Blushing, Harry rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment and turned to Draco, who was frozen in shock. Harry followed his gaze to see Marcus Flint standing near the doorway, mouth open in shock.
“Er, excuse me,” the woman said before quickly turning and fleeing on the spot.
“M-Marcus, I—”
“Just—” Marcus held up a hand. “Forget it, Draco. I’m leaving. Don’t owl me.” With that, he turned and walked away.
Draco exhaled. “Well, I suppose that takes care of that, then.”
Harry smiled. “You’re not worried?”
“We only dated for a month; it’s not as if we were engaged. Besides, if he spreads it around it’ll spare us the expense of a Prophet ad.”
Harry laughed. “True. Besides, I’d much rather put that money toward more important causes.”
“Oh? Such as?”
Harry cast a quick Tempus. “Well, it’s now half seven. What do you say we take care of that public first date now?”
“Are you sure?”
Harry pulled Draco to him. “I told you, I’m done hiding. You deserve the best, and I’m going to give it to you.”
Draco smiled before reaching for another kiss.
After a moment, they were interrupted by a “Finally.”
They turned to see Ron standing in the hallway, rolling his eyes.
“Thank gods, mate, I was worried. I’m glad the two of you sorted yourselves out.”
Harry grinned. “Thanks mate, me too.”
“So, pub to celebrate?”
Harry shook his head and glanced at Draco. “Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’ve got plans with my boyfriend.” He reached down and took Draco’s hand, lacing their fingers together.