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The warm summer breeze sifted through the overgrown grass, rolling and turning, cascading through the miles of untouched land. The sun was high in the sky, the expanse of clear blue reflecting the shimmering lake beside the castle. Far from the clamour of Hogwarts, where students were getting the most out of the sun on a Sunday afternoon, only two people got away to be alone. Most people took the opportunity to leave the grounds and go to Hogsmeade on such an occasion, or sit in the courtyard and relax, not wearing their robes or lugging around textbooks, quills and parchment.
Stretching out like an arm from the castle, a bridge connected the castle to the rest of the highlands, which allowed these two deserters to escape the view of the other students and teachers. An old and potentially ancient, oak tree stood victoriously a little way from the bank of the lake, as thick as a carriage. The tree had huge roots, which snaked their way around not only the bank of the river but retreated up into the forest beyond. Among the space the tree took up, Remus and Sirius had found a place to perch themselves, sitting on soft pillows of grass. Sirius sat with his legs outstretched, one over the other casually as he relaxed against the tree, his white t-shirt hanging breezily off his shoulders, tucked into a pair of old jeans which were held up with a plain black belt. He wore simple clothes on the weekends, not bothering much with dressing up at all. He didn’t follow fashion trends, he just went with what he could find. Remus on the other hand, although he also didn’t enjoy staring at fashion magazines and considering what was in the range – he had a good eye for his own clothes. Remus wore similar jeans, however he opted for a blue and white striped t-shirt, accompanying it with a light beige cardigan, which hung off him. This cardigan seemed to swallow him almost, but it was knitted in a chunky style, so it allowed the air to breeze through, keeping him cool.
“Moony, aren’t you boiling? I’m getting hot just looking at you.” Sirius says, looking at the other boy, who was sitting upright on the grass a few metres away from Sirius, looking over at the lake. The two had sat in silence for a little while, just enjoying the silence. It wasn’t awkward, their company was hardly awkward. The two appreciated getting away from the hustle and bustle of Hogwarts, Remus more than anyone.
Remus turned his head, looking back at Sirius. The raven-haired teen had to squint to be able to see Remus properly since the sun was shining in his eyes, and Remus couldn’t help but find his strained expression a mix of entertaining and endearing. Remus shook his head, but followed himself up by clearing his throat and then speaking.
“No, it’s comfortable.” He said, though he wasn’t entirely truthful, and as always, Sirius picked up on this.
Remus wore longer sleeves as much as he could. Luckily it wasn’t the height of summer, but it was certainly one of the hottest days. Remus covered his arms for the obvious reason, to hide his scars. He wasn’t entirely sure who he was hiding them from, himself or others. Was he being courteous to others around Hogwarts, or was he doing it because he disliked the appearance of them? He wasn’t sure, but he was self-conscious, and it’s easier to avoid going out of your comfort zone, so Remus opted to keep himself covered up for the ease of things.
Sirius rose his eyebrows to Remus but didn’t say anything. Remus caught his expression and turned his back again, looking at the lake. He watched how the sun bore down on the waves, highlighting patches and showcasing them. Nature worked in beautiful ways, Remus thought to himself. He saw how the bright silver patches of sunlight contrasted with the deep, consistent blue across the water. He sighed, seeing how the difference in colour was observed as being beautiful and natural to the world. He thought about his scars, how he covered up the difference in his own colours. A difference that was not observed as being natural, or beautiful.
Remus stood, pushing himself up with his arms and hands, stretching a little, feeling his joints click comfortably, making him feel loose and relaxed. He turned, walking and closing in on those few metres between him and Sirius. He approached the large oak tree, and bent down, sitting next to Sirius. Their shoulders briefly touched, but neither lent into the other. Sirius was fiddling with a small bundle of daisies next to him, and Remus furrowed his brows when he noticed this. He wondered what Sirius was wasting his time on, since he was individually splitting the stems of the daisies.
Sirius looked up from the daisy in his palm and looked at Remus, catching his confused expression. Sirius smiled, his features spreading across his face, giving Remus one of those Sirius Black grins.
“Don’t ask.” Sirius says pointedly, placing the split-stem daisy into the pile next to his thigh furthest away from Remus. Remus simply didn’t ask, looking at the lake once more.
The two had been ‘together’ for two months now. There was never a proclamation of love followed by an official proposal to be in a relationship. The two just knew, that ever since that day in Gryffindor tower, dancing to ‘build me up buttercup’, they were an item. It worked, neither of the boys feeling like they had to hide their affection. Neither felt the necessity to fake masculinity, feeling like they were truly themselves when they were together. Of course, both boys kept it to themselves, letting the James grasp the idea with subtle actions and conversations. They both hoped that they wouldn’t have to ‘come out’ about it to James. They knew he was smart, and they were sure he would realise, but they hoped that he would accept it.
Remus spoke out against the silence. Although he felt rather relaxed and comfortable, just the two of them being alone, he still had a ball of anxieties sitting in the bottom of his stomach. For Remus, looking out at empty space when talking about serious topics was easier than looking at who you were talking to.
“I’m only wearing it to…” Remus faltered, sighing as his palms gripped the sleeves of the cardigan, pulling them down other his hands, fumbling with the loose fabric.
“Hide?” Sirius asked, looking at how Remus’ showed his anxiety and discomfort about it. Remus simply nodded, staring at how the beige colour of the cardigan didn’t look too different to the colour of his scars.
“Moony, it’s alright.” Sirius says carefully, knowing just how conscious Remus was about his werewolf side. He knew how much Remus loathed himself, but he also knew that he would wait. Sirius would wait as long as he had to for Remus to become comfortable with himself. There was no race or accomplishment to achieve. Remus’ confidence was personal to him, and all Sirius could ever want for Remus would be a long and happy life.
Remus didn’t speak. He’d had this talk often with himself, like a mantra. He tried to tell himself that it was alright, that his scars didn’t define his character, but it never fully convinced him.
“Moony, it is just us, you know I would never think of you any differently.” Sirius says, his hands going behind his own neck to pull his black hair down one side of his shoulders, keeping it away from his face. He leant his head back on the bark of the tree, looking at his boyfriend with sincerity.
Remus swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, repeating Sirius’ words in his head. He didn’t wait to believe them, he just held onto them. Shuffling forwards slightly so that his back wasn’t against the tree, he held the bottom of his cardigan, his fingers gripping onto the soft fabric carefully. He bit his bottom lip and without a moment to doubt himself, he pulled the garment over his head and discarded it over one of the tree roots to his right, pulling his shirt down to make sure it wasn’t riding up. He budged back again so his back was against the bark, looking over at the lake. He breathed in and then out, not taking the time to fret over the state of his arms. He turned his head to look at Sirius, who wasn’t looking anywhere else than Remus’ eyes.
Smiling, Sirius caught sight of a leaf from the oak tree falling and landing in Remus’ golden curls. Leaning in, Sirius took the leaf and discarded it to the side, looking back at his boyfriend with a soft smile.
“Are you hoping to get a tan?” Sirius asks with a chuckle, his hands by his sides, Remus’ in the same position. Remus shook his head but smiled a little at the idea.
“No, we don’t need to add another colour to me.” He says and toys with the idea. The tan lines would only make him look like a spectacle more, and he didn’t like that, but he allowed a small chuckle to escape his lips with the way Sirius looked at him.
Remus tried to stop thinking about hiding his arms and he tried to focus on being here and now. He kept his focus on Sirius. He felt his cheeks turn warm, the cause being looked at for so long and in such a fond way. He hoped internally that it was the sun beating down onto his face. Sirius smiled a little more. That confirmed it, he was blushing.
“Hey, I have a question.” Remus says, feeling a spur of confidence and curiosity, looking into Sirius’ dark and large eyes, seeing the beauty in his features.
“Mm? Fire away.” Sirius says, turning his head a little more, leaning against the bark.
“How long did you know?” Remus asks quietly, as if anyone could hear them. Sirius sighed, but it wasn’t an empty one, it was a short and thoughtful sigh, looking upwards in thought.
“Well…” He pondered on the thought, thinking about when it was. When he first knew he had feelings.
“I suppose it was after me and James won the Quidditch cup. Once we’d been announced as the winners my first thought was, ‘where’s Moony?’. You were the first person I looked for. Not my teammates, just you.” He says, making Remus look away since he felt flustered. He smiled to himself, remembering that day also. He remembered how he’d been supporting them for the whole match, screaming and jumping enthusiastically whenever Gryffindor scored. He’d secured a seat at the front of the stands, having the perfect view.
“When I saw you standing up there, cheering and calling my name, I felt it.” Sirius said, chuckling with how cheesy it sounded, but he told the truth. Remus smiled and looked back at his boyfriend, shaking his head a little bit.
“Hopeless romantic.” He mumbled and Sirius considered it, before nodding.
“Suppose so, but you’ve not really seen my romantic side.” He stated, and Remus nodded, knowing he hadn’t been exactly wooed, but he didn’t mind at all. Things were at a perfect pace. They were content.
“Well, I’d been feeling it for a while too. Slowly at first, but it sort of… hit me when you pulled me up to dance.” He said with a small smile, going from holding eye contact, to looking into space.
“Well, I’m glad I made you dance with me, otherwise it would’ve been a very sad confession.” Sirius said with another laugh, and the sound was like honey to Remus’ ears.
“Mm, very sad.” Remus teased.
“Don’t tease me now, Lupin-“Sirius says with a chuckle, turning his body more to look at Remus, and both boys had grins plastered on their faces.
“That’s practically my job, Black.” He retorted, all smug since their little bickering sessions never turned serious. It was playful banter, and the two loved it.
“Oh, yeah?” Sirius asked, a mischievous plan entering his mind, and Remus only caught this grand plan way too late, when it had already been initiated.
Without warning, Sirius dove forwards, one arm snaking around Remus’ waist, pulling him closer while the other hand went for Remus’ neck, his fingers curling. Before Remus could protest, Sirius was tickling him, changing where he attacked depending on how Remus moved and reacted. Almost immediately, Remus started to move against Sirius’ grip, laughing loudly as he was rather ticklish. He chuckled and tried to get away, getting out soft ‘stops!’ between bundles of laughter, only to be pulled closer by Sirius, eventually getting pulled down. Sirius stopped after a few seconds, letting Remus relax. Remus ended up leaning against Sirius in an awkward position on his stomach, trying to get his breath back. Sirius laughed and pushed his own pitch-black hair out of his face, looking down at the boy who shone like a thousand suns.
Remus moved slightly, moving his head to Sirius’ thighs, near his knees, laying with his head on Sirius’ lap. Sirius let Remus get his breath back, looking at how Remus’ chest rose and fell, smiling at the sight of his boyfriend’s happiness.
“I didn’t know I was that ticklish-“Remus says with a smile, looking up at the other boy, observing how the black shade of Sirius’ hair stood out among the bright green leaves and stark brown bark.
“Neither, maybe I’ll use that as a sneaky tactic from now on.”
“You better not!”
All was well and all was perfect. After a few minutes, Remus went back to looking up at the sky, being able to make out some shapes in the few clouds that dared to cover the warm blue. Sirius had taken to finishing whatever he had started with those daisies, and Remus didn’t ask any questions. The minutes blurred together, and neither boy knew how long they’d been outside for, but it hadn’t been an obscene amount of time. Sirius finally cleared his throat to get Remus’ attention, and without a word, Sirius carefully placed a circular chain of daisies upon his head, resting on his light curls. Remus’ hand went up to feel the flowers softly, and he smiled. Remus caught Sirius’ soft expression, looking at him with such admiration.
Sirius couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter at the sight of Remus. He looked at how beautiful the boy before him was. His curls adorned with a crown of daisies, his light eyes looking up into his own, his eyes wrinkling a little at the sides as his smile encompassed almost all of his face. He couldn’t help but feel like Remus’ smile was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Here was the love of his life, comfortable in his lap with his scars exposed, not even thinking about the negative’s life had thrown at him. To Sirius Black, Remus Lupin was the bravest man he ever knew. Sirius’ hand travelled to Remus’ cheek, rubbing circles across the smooth and rosy skin laid. Just centimetres away was one of his facial scars, pulling at his lip as he smiled.
The atmosphere changed, slowly but subtly. Both boys were caught in a trance-like state, locked in each other’s tender touch. Remus’ smile slowly faded, but his expression of happiness and fondness didn’t subdue. He simply relaxed, his mind not being able to think of anything else other than Sirius Black. Remus felt his heart skip a beat. He knew what he wanted, what he craved, he just needed to know if it was safe to have.
“Pads… you love me?” He asked tenderly, as shy and as inquisitively as always. Remus’ constant need for validation shining through, but never tarnishing the moment.
Sirius’ face flashed a grin. A Sirius Black grin. He chuckled lightly, nodding. A few locks of his hair falling from where he’d tucked it behind his ear. He held Remus’ face in his lap, stroking over those perfect features, admiring every inch of his lover.
“Unconditionally.” He said with confidence, leaning down, closer to the other, hovering just inches away from the his lips.
Remus’ eyes glossed over, tears threatening to spill, but he kept them in, his stomach causing butterflies to do somersaults, his heart racing. Unconditionally, Sirius had said. A tear escaped, a happy one.
“I will love you, unconditionally.” Sirius repeated, more like a whisper, wiping away the stray tear, leaning closer, to be met with Remus’ lips, accepting each other for who they were. Neither spoke, neither pulled away. This was perfect, this was all they ever wanted. A moment like this was worth a thousand words. Kissing in the soft summer of ’78.