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Kenma had struggled with anxiety and a hint of depression ever since he could remember. He had been a restless and nervous child, and it had only gotten worse when the overflowing hormones of puberty kicked in, so he was convinced that those aspects of himself were integral to who he was as a person and would follow him all through his lifetime. He had spent the better part of twenty years figuring out how to go about life without letting it get in the way of what he wanted to do too much.
All in all, he was mostly successful at it. Anyone would say that he lived a rather idyllic life and had more than most would achieve to get in life: he had a very successful career as a gaming streamer, a lot more money than he ever thought he would and not one but two incredibly handsome and talented boyfriends that adored him. Life was good overall. He did okay keeping anxiety at bay most of the time.
But some days he did not. And on those days, he was not okay.
Some days it was hard to leave bed even if he had been awake and fidgeting for most of the night. And even when he did, it was too daunting to change out of his pyjamas and into something a little more appropriate to face the day. Kenma had never been a people-person, but it was on days like that when he was the most grateful of the fact that he almost always worked from home and was therefore spared from the pleasantries and inane small-talk of an office job - god, that would absolutely kill him, even on a good day.
And even then, when things got bad like that, it wasn't unusual for Kenma to cancel livestreams and meetings with investors alike. He did his best to be professional and keep his own personal issues from affecting his work too much, but the fact was that sometimes he could not bring himself to face another human being and pretend to be on top of his life and work. He had never been publicly open about his struggles with mental health to the world, but he was sure that anyone could tell after just one good look at him. He wasn’t sure if that was for better or for worse.
It always took a few days for Kuroo or Hinata to notice when Kenma wasn’t doing too well. It made sense, as it took a little while for Kenma himself to notice that he was having a harder time than normal, plus the fact that the two of them spent most of their day outside their home and were busy enough with their highly stressful training regimes and schedules. On top of it all, Kenma knew that he did a good job hiding that things weren't great for him; he wouldn’t want to worry them, especially when he knew that there wasn’t much they could do for him other than wait for things to slowly figure themselves out.
Even with Kenma’s best efforts to keep himself together when his boyfriends were at home, they would always notice somehow. It would be hard to not notice that things weren’t well given how much Kenma changed when he wasn’t feeling like himself.
The first sign was usually that Kenma would stop eating like normal people would, leaving Kuroo to find half-nibbled pieces of toast and untouched cups of tea all over the house. He would say that he forgot or that he had a stomach ache, but would soon run out of excuses when there was more than one such incident in just a handful of days.
Then he would get more irritable, getting snippy and shorter towards his boyfriends. Both Kuroo and Hinata were known for enjoying a good laugh and teasing each other, so it was more or less the norm in their relationship. And yet, when Kenma wasn’t feeling well, he would grumble, demand to be left out of whatever dumb teasing game they had going on or even flat out walked out of the room whenever they did anything he could classify as even mildly annoying. And then would come the guilt, with Kenma coming out of his hiding spot and apologising several times for being grumpy, getting clingy and promising he would stop being weird and mean.
Another good early sign that things were getting out of control was the lack of sleep. Kenma had never been one to have a full on healthy relationship with sleep no matter how much his athletic boyfriends tried to help him form that habit, but it was when he started getting out of bed in the middle of the night to spend a good few hours playing video games without really enjoying himself, just killing time and zombies alike in hopes of making his racing mind shut off if only for one minute that Kuroo and Hinata knew something was wrong.
It was usually Kuroo who picked up on it first: he had known Kenma since childhood and had developed a well-trained eye to pick up on the slight changes in his moods and daily patterns, all while not letting himself be so easily fooled when Kenma swore up and down that he was okay and had absolutely nothing going on.
This had annoyed Hinata for the first year or two of their relationship, feeling like he was somehow not on the same standing as the two of them and bringing up the ever-present insecurities that lingered in the back of a lot of poly relationships; as the latest addition to their family, Shoyo couldn’t help but feel a bit left out whenever Kuroo pointed out that Kenma wasn’t well and he could do nothing but stand there and admit that he had not noticed it, that he didn’t know Kenma that well just yet.
Hinata’s worries faded away quite quickly when they discovered that while Kuroo was usually the first to notice, Kenma was more likely to accept help and put up less of a fight if it was Hinata who brought it up and offered whatever help they could give him.
And so they worked as a team.
They waited for the weekend to roll around, having the whole day cleared out and allowing them to focus entirely on what was important to them: looking after Kenma and making sure he felt a little less alone than he had been for the last handful of days.
Hinata spent most of his morning softly convincing Kenma to join him on a little walk around the park; it took a while and Hinata’s sincerest promise to keep it as a lazy walk and not letting it morph into some sort of addition to his extensive training regime, but eventually Kenma agreed to go out with him.
Neither Kuroo nor Hinata were sure of when Kenma had last left the house or seen another living creature other than them, so getting some fresh air, sunlight, vicarious human interaction and light exercise could only do him good.
Kenma and Hinata left their house holding hands and making their way to the neighbourhood park at a lazy pace while quietly talking about nothing in particular. Hinata knew that Kenma wasn’t a very talkative person in general, but he was also aware that something about him helped his boyfriend come out of his shell a bit and say a little more than he usually would with anyone else, so he took advantage of his unwitting gift.
He got Kenma talking about that one scandal that was shaking the videogame industry and causing drama this week and how he had absolutely predicted it months ago, about this new and whacky recipe he had seen online and wanted to bug Kuroo into cooking, and about the fact that it was getting too warm again and he was already preparing to spend the next four months loudly complaining about the heat (sure, it wasn’t as bad as it was in Brazil, but that wasn’t going to stop him from complaining). And Hinata listened to every single one of the things he had to say, being very mindful of not taking over the conversation but happily bouncing ideas back and forth as they walked hand in hand, dodging joggers and ladies with prams and toddlers alike.
Hinata couldn’t help but marvel at the way Kenma seemed to glow with happiness once the possibility of finally adopting a cat came into their conversation; they had talked about it for years, but given the fact that Hinata finding a team to play with was sometimes tricky and had already caused them to move internationally twice, they had decided to save their hypothetical cat a bunch of trauma and wait until they got a little more settled. And now that he had signed a five-year-contract and their lease was sorted and agreed, it sounded like the perfect time to start looking into making their family a little bigger.
Kenma looked a little happier by the time they made it back home, seemingly quite pleased with the small walk and the chatter he had shared with his younger boyfriend. It was nice to see him smile as he slinked out of his shoes and went on to sprawl himself all over the sofa while listening to Hinata, who was more than happy to relay to Kuroo every single notable event from their walk.
Kuroo listened with a smile, quietly asking questions about the walk and kissing both his boyfriends in greeting as soon as they were back through the door before going back to finishing folding a load of freshly laundered clothes.
While Hinata and Kenma were out, Kuroo had taken over the task of flash-cleaning their home in order for them to come back to a nice and tidy house that allowed for relaxation and comfort. It wasn’t like they were currently living in squalor, as luckily the three of them were generally tidy even if Hinata did sometimes slip up on keeping up with chores. Given that Kenma was at home the most out of the three of them, he was the one that did most of the little day-to-day tasks to keep the house running, so it was not a surprise for anyone that he was less likely to want to wash up used mugs or be interested on vacuuming up the stairs when he was not feeling great.
It didn’t take Kuroo long to freshen up their home and make sure that the small tasks needed to keep their home running seamlessly were effortlessly done, soon wrapping up with his laundry and walking to the sofa to sit next to Kenma for a moment.
"I'm gonna have a shower. Wanna join, Ken?" Kuroo asked him, watching the smaller man tense up in a quiet panic for a second.
“Uhm…” Kenma started and trailed off, as if trying to find the best way to let his boyfriend down gently.
They all knew sex wouldn’t happen often if at all when Kenma wasn't feeling well. It was fine, they all understood that having pauses in their generally active intimate life was not the end of the world, and Kenma knew that his boyfriends wouldn’t push for sex, but that didn’t mean that it made saying ‘I’m not really in the mood still’ any easier.
"Not like that, kitten. I just wanna do your hair." he clarified.
“Oh.”
That last sentence changed things enough for Kenma to get up and follow him to the bathroom, quietly stripping while Kuroo ran the shower.
Kenma didn't like baths at all, he thought that the idea of sitting there in his own wet grime and filth sounded awful. And yet, he did very much enjoy long, lazy showers where he could stand and let warm water wash over him. It was all made a hundred times better if he could rope in one of his boyfriends to come in and wash his hair for him during that shower.
And that was exactly what Kuroo did for Kenma. He hugged him close under the warm flow of water, letting his gifted fingers rub soothing circles against the tense muscles on his shoulders and upper back while he whispered soft words of love to him, letting the shorter male hide against him and relax into their wet cuddle.
After a while, Kuroo let go of him to start shampooing his hair, carefully massaging his scalp and making Kenma sigh and relax as he took his time working suds into his long locks. Then came a second shampooing and then conditioning, treating Kenma’s hair with the utmost care and devotion it deserved.
Kuroo himself was the kind of man that used the same 3-in-1 shampoo-conditioner-body wash monstrosity to wash every single inch of his body, so he had absolutely no idea of what those fancy (and expensive) concoctions were meant to do for Kenma’s hair, but he knew that his boyfriend liked the way all of that felt and was adamant that his hair benefited from it, so hat was a good enough reason. He wouldn’t question the hair-care regime, but rather follow it to perfection and make sure that Kenma felt as loved as he was.
As the shower came to an end and they left the bathroom wrapped up in fluffy towels, Kuroo took it upon himself to guide Kenma to bed and sit down together before he could take on the task of brushing his hair as carefully as humanly possible before proceeding to blow-dry his hair.
They didn’t talk too much all through the lazy beauty routine, with Kuroo completely focused on pampering him and Kenma completely relaxed under his touch and caresses. They ended up dressed in warm pyjamas once Kenma’s hair was perfectly done, not sparing a single thought to the fact that it was mid-afternoon still and that they couldn’t really justify their attire. Not that they needed to, anyway: this was going to be a lazy day dedicated entirely to making Kenma feel loved, comforted and warm, so screw the social need to not wear pyjamas all day.
None of them were quite sure how long it had taken them to wrap up their extended shower and little hair-salon playtime, but by the time they joined Hinata in the living room, Kenma was looking a lot more relaxed than he had done in a solid week or two. It was refreshing to see him smiling, even if he did still look a little tired.
The next and final stage of their pamper afternoon consisted of curling up on the sofa together with a bunch of blankets and three generous mugs of hot chocolate as they slotted each other into a comfy cuddle that had them settle in for a film that would bring their night to a close. They ended up with Kenma sprawled over his boyfriends’ laps, with his head on Hinata’s thighs and his legs draped over Kuroo’s, welcoming gentle pets and caresses from the two of them.
Neither Kuroo nor Hinata were particularly fond of horror films; in fact, the two of them were known for being big babies that would be unable to sleep or wash their hair with their eyes closed for a handful of days whenever they got roped into watching whatever the latest scary film sensation of the season was. And yet, they knew that Kenma loved horror (especially whenever he wasn’t feeling that great) so there was nothing they could do other than brace themselves for the film and make their peace with the fact that they would spend the following two hours covering their eyes. There was nothing in the world that would convince them to not watch that awful film, as they knew it would make Kenma happy.
The night wrapped up with Kuroo following as Hinata showed off while carrying a sleepy Kenma to bed for an extension of their sofa cuddles, with the three of them completely relaxed and in love.
They were all very aware of the fact that a pampering day -however lovely it had been- was not enough to fight off mental illness or help Kenma out of whatever darkness he was struggling with on a daily basis, but Hinata and Kuroo thought that as long as they were able to offer him a little bit of comfort, it was all worth it. As long as they were able to remind Kenma of how very loved he was and of the fact that they were there for him no matter what, they were good.
There was not a single doubt in their minds of the fact that they all loved each other. And they knew that Kenma’s current struggle would eventually get better; maybe not right away, and maybe not in a straight-forward way. But it would definitely get better eventually, and the three of them would see to it together.