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“If they fell down the stairs, they could have a neck injury. I need to go in.” Sylvie stared at her boyfriend with a firm expression. “You said the fire is contained to the second story. I’ll be fine.”
“No.” Matt snapped, for the third time in under a minute. “It’s contained for now . That could change at any moment.”
“All due respect, Captain , I’m not sure your judgement is the clearest here.”
“Give the backboard to Gallo. He and Kidd are fully capable of stabilizing and bringing her out.”
Sylvie shook her head, handing the gear off to Gallo and stepping back towards 61, putting a few feet of space between them.
“Everything okay?” Violet asked in a quiet voice.
Sylvie glanced towards Matt; he was staring straight ahead at the house, clutching his radio.
This was their first fight, or the closest thing they’d had to one; it had been three months without so much as a petty disagreement.
“It’ll be fine.”
Violet reached over and squeezed her shoulder, offering a reassuring smile. “I’m sure it will be.”
“We’re bringing the victim out now.” Stella’s voice came over the radio. “Possible neck trauma, unconscious.”
Sylvie focused her attention on their victim as she got carried out; it wasn’t the time or the place to be thinking about her and Matt’s argument.
Matt was avoiding her, she was certain of that.
By the time they’d gotten back from dropping their patient at Med, Truck had gone on an errand.
When 61 got called out again, more than an hour later, 81 still hadn’t returned.
By the time 61 returned again, hours later, three back-to-back calls later, it was nearly midnight, and he was in his bed; she stepped inside his quarters and the light beside his bed turned on.
Matt was lying on his side, facing her. “You’ve been out for a long time. Everything okay?”
“We kept catching calls.” Sylvie sighed. “Were you avoiding me after that argument?”
“Maybe a little.” He sat up with a sigh. “I know it pissed you off at that scene that I wouldn’t let you go inside. I was just trying to give you some space.”
“I was mad, yes.” She nodded. “But avoiding me isn’t what we do, Matt. We talk. That’s why we work.”
Matt reached out, grabbing her hand and pulling her closer to the bed. “I know.”
“Don’t give me space.” Sylvie sighed, laying down next to him on the bunk, curling up at his side. “That’s the last thing I want.”
“I’m sorry.” His arm around her waist pulled her back against his front, and she relaxed against him. “Next time I won’t.”
“Good.” Sylvie put her hand on top of his. “But we should talk about what happened.”
“It wasn’t safe, Sylvie.”
“Except it turned out, it would’ve been safe.”
“I couldn’t have known that, and I’m not risking your safety unnecessarily.” Matt’s head dipped down, kissing the top of her head. “I will not apologize for that, either. It’s my job.”
“Yeah, but you’re being overprotective because it’s me, Matt.” She turned over, so they were face to face, her fingers brushing the hair off his forehead. “I love you, and I know you mean well, but this job has risks. You can’t shield me from all of them.”
“I can shield you from the unnecessary ones.” He cleared his throat and sighed. “I’ve lost people on this job, and I have to carry that, but losing you because I sent you into unnecessary danger might kill me.”
Sylvie glanced towards Matt’s hand as he traced circles on her arm and understanding washed over her; he was staring at the arm she’d broken.
“You’re thinking about Arnow.” She pushed herself up into a sitting position so she was facing him, lacing her fingers through his. “You have to know that wasn’t your fault. I never blamed you, not for a second.”
“I made a call, and you got hurt.” Matt sat up, leaning his back against the wall; he didn’t like thinking about Arnow, about losing Otis, about how close he came to losing Sylvie. “You could’ve been killed.”
“You made a decision based on the information you had available to you, and it was a sound one. You couldn’t have known what was going to happen.” Sylvie reached up, touching the side of his face. “You have to forgive yourself. None of it was your fault. Otis wasn’t your fault, me getting hurt. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Otis wasn’t the first person I’ve lost as an officer. I’ll always carry those losses with me.” He sighed, rubbing his face. “That’s the burden you bear as an officer.”
“You mean Andy.” Sylvie had heard the stories; she’d never pushed him to talk about it, but she’d heard it from other members of 51, how that loss had divided him and Kelly for months. “You’ve never talked about him with me.”
“He was one of my best friends, and we might’ve argued who’s fault his death was, but ultimately it fell on both me and Sev. It nearly cost us our friendship too.” Matt leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. “I don’t like thinking about that time. It was a bad time. Lost Andy, then less than a year and a half later, lost Hallie.”
“I’m not asking you to talk about it, because I know how painful it must be to revisit that time, but you know you can always talk to me about them, or anything else, if you want to, right? I’m always here to listen.”
“I know.” His eyes were still closed, but the corners of his mouth turned upwards in a small smile as he lifted their intertwined hands and pressed a kiss to her hand. “I love you.”
Sylvie smiled as he turned her hand over, kissing the inside of her wrist. “I love you too.”
“And I promise you, if I ever keep you from running into danger, it’s not because I don’t think you can handle yourself. I know you can.” Matt opened his eyes and grinned. “I know you’re a badass, Sylvie Brett.”
Her cheeks warmed as her grin mirrored his. “Thank you.”
“It’s not about me being overprotective of you, specifically, either.” He promised. “It’s my job to keep everybody safe, and I’m always going to do my best to make sure everybody gets to go home at the end of shift.”
“You are an excellent officer, Captain Casey. 51 is lucky to have you.” She leaned forward, closing the distance between them to kiss him. “And so am I.”
“No, I’m definitely the lucky one to have you. I’m thankful for it every day.”
“Maybe we’re both just pretty damn lucky.” Sylvie smiled. “It’s late. We should get some sleep.”
“Sleep in here with me.”
“Happily.”
They quickly settled into the small bed together; they’d spend many nights on shift over the past few months cuddled together on his bunk.
Sylvie reached up and turned the lamp off, mentally and physically exhausted.
“Babe?”
“Yeah?” Sylvie mumbled.
“I think we handled our first fight pretty well.”
“Yeah, I think so too.” She smiled in the dark. “I think we’ll be able to handle them all just fine.”
Matt pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I think so too.”