Work Text:
Kokichi had a problem.
He didn’t go by just he/they anymore.
Instead, they went by he/him, they/them, ze/zem and clown/clownself.
Neopronouns.
Well, ze did suspect that this would happen!
Because before coming to the realizations, clown would see these pronouns in articles, in bios, on blogs and get kind of excited about it. There were just so many different types and some he really liked.
It led to them trying out the pronouns a few times out of curiosity. And ze learned clown liked the way some pronouns felt! They just fit!
But knowing this kind of meant that he had to come out all over again.
And they didn't know if people would be too supportive this time.
Because neopronouns were a debatable subject! Not just the regular transphobic people hated them, even some people in the trans community did!
They thought it would be difficult to use these pronouns apparently. Or that they were even unnecessary or stupid.
Kokichi didn't know why it was like this, they were just pronouns! How hard could it be to use them?!
And ze thought they were cool! How could other people not see that?
But it didn’t matter. As proven by the continuous onslaught of hate comments and messages clown got after coming out as nonbinary, people with transphobic beliefs didn’t care.
It led to him denying their neopronouns for a while.
They knew that despite the support ze got originally when clown came out, some of it might be taken all away once he announced the neopronouns they used.
And that meant ze might get even worse comments this time. And more people invalidating clown.
And he didn’t know if they could handle it!
Shuichi did say he would fight them away, be zir knight in shining armor. And Kokichi trusted him! Clown really did.
But it was still difficult knowing that there would be people to fight, people that disagree with his identity.
So they pushed that thought of neopronouns away!
It already took so much courage for ze to come out and now to come out again? With more risk this time?
Clown couldn't do that! It would hurt too much.
So he just kept ignoring it, convincing zemself that maybe clown doesn't use neopronouns after all.
But then it started feeling wrong! When people used his regular pronouns, he/they, it just felt off. Like there was something missing.
So despite trying to ignore their feelings, ze started looking for neopronouns more, and trying them on. It didn’t mean they were using them, just looking, so it didn’t count!
However, it solidified clowns liking for ze/zem and clown/clownself. They were the ones that fit, more than any others.
Soon enough, he found themself using them privately, referring to zem in third person sometimes just to hear those pronouns.
It was getting pretty hard to ignore that clown wanted to use these.
Especially when one night, when he was very sleep deprived and depressed, they just wanted to feel okay again, to feel some sort of validation! So ze opened up clowns secret account, because yes, of course he has one, and added the pronouns they were questioning using into zir bio.
Clown/clownself and ze/zem
Immediately, people used them.
And it felt good. It felt so good, to be referred to this way, that clown couldn't really deny it anymore!
He used neopronouns.
But what now?
Sure, the people on their secret account congratulated zem, but that was probably only because clown made sure to surround himself with the right people. They wouldn't want to be friends or even friendly acquaintances with a neopronoun hater.
...Zir public instagram followers would be a lot harsher. It’s not like clown could block everyone suspect of not liking neopronouns, he had about a few million followers. And besides, anyone could come onto their account, not just followers.
...Still, ze knew Shuichi wouldn’t be harsh. Shuichi would accept clown, of course he would. He’s made his supportive stance on neopronouns clear already! And he’s made his support of Kokichi clear too.
But he hadn’t told him that they were questioning.
Mostly because ze was just scared to...say it out loud! To make it official. Because once clown did, that meant he would have to come out to everyone at some point right? Not just Shuichi.
And that was a scary thought!
However there was one other reason Kokichi hadn't told Shuichi yet. And it was really stupid: They just kind of feared Shuichi not using his pronouns, or more so, that he will use them but secretly think they were too much. Like, Kokichi had four sets of pronouns now! Would Shuichi not be able to remember them? And with the neopronouns, would he use them correctly or think it was too complicated?
Their worries were unfounded, ze knew they were.
This was just regular coming out anxiety! There was no way Shuichi would think that, he wasn't like the others on the internet! He was sweet and supportive and kind and-
“Kokichi? What’s wrong?”
What?
Oh, right.
Shuichi was in the middle of talking about the new book in his favorite book series. And really, Kokichi loved hearing him talk, clown was just a bit distracted right now! He had been the last couple of days, their dysphoria was actually getting pretty bad. Shuichi knew that, that’s why they were covered in blankets and cuddling up close.
"You were, uh, zoning out again..." Shuichi continued. He probably didn't want to show it, but he sounded a little disappointed.
And he should be, this was unfair! Shuichi deserved to have all his rambles heard without Kokichi being a mess inside zir own head.
Clown should just come out now, shouldn’t he?
They couldn’t hide it anymore, it honestly really hurt to hide something like this from zir boyfriend. It really hurt to hide it in general.
Despite all of clowns anxieties, he had to do this at some point right?
"Kokichi? You can trust me" Shuichi reminded.
Right. They could. Ze knew clown could.
It’s just Shuichi, his amazing boyfriend! Everything will be okay, he loved them!
“Sorry, beloved! I just kinda have to tell you something" ze admitted.
Shuichi nodded and waited for clown to go on.
Oh. Well, here this goes.
"Soooo you know what neopronouns are?” Kokichi started. Shuichi nodded, a slight smile coming onto his face. He could probably already guess what was going to happen.
So Kokichi continued, refusing to let himself back out of this. “I use them!” they announced, “Surprise!"
Shuichi spoke immediately, probably to avoid any possible self critical thoughts on Kokichi's part. "Which ones?" he inquired.
"Ze/zem, clown/clownself" ze answered, "I know it might be super difficult to use them but-"
Kokichi was interrupted by Shuichi leaning in and kissing clown softly.
Shuichi’s kisses were the best thing in the world. And they erased any worries still left in Kokichi's head.
It was like his kisses were magic. Seriously.
"I'm really glad you told me, 'Kichi." Shuichi whispered, their faces still close, “I, I can tell that was bothering you..."
"Nope, not at all!" Kokichi lied. It wasn’t bothering him anymore anyways, not when Shuichi was so close and treating them so gently.
Shuichi shook that lie off, "You know I'll use your pronouns right? You really do deserve to be respected."
Hearing ze deserved to be respected...clown still had trouble believing that. It was really nice to hear Shuichi say it.
"Awww, you're being really sappy." Kokichi teased. But he loved when Shuichi was this sappy, it made their heart go all fluttery.
"Sorry," Shuichi chuckled, "I just, I know you get nervous about this and I just want you to know I'm here for you, always."
....
Jeez, Shuichi was the best person ever. Always knowing what to say in these situations. He was such a good boyfriend, it was hard to believe he was real sometimes.
“Thanks, Shumai. I'll buy you that book you want okay?" Kokichi promised. Ze was already planning on it, but clown kind of didn’t tell Shuichi yet. It was originally supposed to be a surprise, but he supposed it would be nice to reveal right now.
Shuichi's eyes lit up, "Really?"
"Of course!” Kokichi exclaimed” It's my payback for you being such a good boyfriend."
"Thank you, 'Kichi!” Shuichi smiled, leaning in for a quick thank-you kiss, that turned into much more when Kokichi refused to let his lips go. So they kissed for a few minutes, all soft kisses with soft touches.
Kokichi couldn’t help but think that they were so happy to be accepted for zir pronouns, to be kissed by someone who accepted clown fully.
He must be the luckiest person on planet earth!
And when they finally pulled away from Shuichi’s lips, ze had the most lovestruck smile on clowns face.
"Oh um, do you want to come out to everyone?” Shuichi brought up, “ I can help you if you want!”
Did Kokichi?...
No. There were too many risks, and besides, he had Shuichi on their side right now. Ze didn’t really need anyone else.
So clown shook his head, "Nah, not yet."
"Alright, well, if you need me..." Shuichi took their hand, "I'm right here."
Shuichi’s hand was so warm.
“Sappy.” Kokichi teased.
“Yeah...” Shuichi agreed. “I’m..I’m only sappy for you”
Kokichi playfully rolled zir eyes, and moved to cuddle closer to Shuichi, clowns arms wrapped around him and their legs slotted together.
Everything was nice when they were like this. And for once, Kokichi’s mind was clear, no more worries, as he knew Shuichi was right there with them.
“Now keep talking beloved,” ze whispered, content with the moment, “I love hearing your voice”