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Chapter Text

Possibly the 437th rotation of the 1459th Eclipsal period

To Whom This May Concern
(which is most likely Lieteunant CF-3700 from the Cillurn quartet),

On my way from Xognuna to Rulnestea as per my mission, Strillion 10KX suffered a malfunction and I ended up on an endoplanet according to its coordinates from the Small Sun. Sorry 'bout 10KX, but it's kind of your fault for making me operate it while it's still being tested. And while I'm kinda aware the purpose was to finish testing it, what do you know, now I'm stranded here and it's all your fault.

So anyway, my point is don't look for it, because we already exited your radar. Actually, I'm not even sure how I'm going to send this letter yet.

If you're concerned about data since I know you love numbers and punching in info, I'll let you know that the damages aren't too severe. For example, I may not be able to fly back, but the jacuzzi (which I don't know why it's even here) is still in perfect condition. I get the luxury to use it as a shower, since the real one broke. Whether you read all this in a sarcastic tone is up to your discretion and this is the real magic of writing letters.

The other reason I've resorted to writing is because all the screens either shattered or are refusing to turn back on. Basically I've lost interconnectivity and sending a video is impossible, let alone a call. I'm pretty sure I'm too far away from Xognuna to like, talk to anyone.

From my observations, I've deduced I'm currently on Gaea. Since I'm in the Khione galaxy, Gaea is the only habitable planet here, and the scenery seems to match what I've heard (though this isn't very reliable since I graduated with a 43 in Astrocommunications, 28 in Outer History and 11 in Culture).

The spaceship got crushed the most near the back so I have to go outside using the window. I've been keeping a counter of how many times my hips made a weird noise after I manuevered. Once I was waiting in line behind a few youngsters and I was thereby informed this is called parkour. So I'm doing parkour now. Actually what they described was vastly different, but you weren't there which means you can't disprove me.

I crashed in a forest, which is interesting because I've rarely seen any trees before. I'm near a human city but I haven't approached it yet. Maybe they'll think I look scary, I dunno, so I'll need to use my other form. The sexy and cute one. And yes, it's true ― the sky in Gaea is blue! It's been a bit harder to walk around here, since gravity is denser, but I'm getting used to it mainly from working the jacuzzi.

To be honest, the jacuzzi has been a real pain in the a̶s̶s̶  gluteus. I fell asleep in there and almost drowned.

The time is weird here. It's often bright and hot, which I'm assuming has to do with Gaea being close to the Small Sun. Rotations go by faster too? One thing it's good for though, is that I can always tell when I'm supposed to be awake and when it's real nightfall.

I plan on approaching the human city in a few rotations. I have time to kill. Maybe most people would be despairing like, oh no I'm out here alone, blah blah but I think this is a wonderful opportunity to study another planet. Fearless and attractive as ever.

What do you think about a kind of manual, where I detail the lifestyle of humans? I'm sure it'd be a bestseller. No wait, they're going to use it as a textbook in Culture, and all the teachers will regret failing me. 

I'll watch them and blend in with them. I know no one is in a rush to get me if ever, so I feel like I have enough opportunities to do this. First I plan on thinking of a more appropriate name, since every planet follows a different pattern but I need to figure it out first. Or maybe I should just be myself. In most films and literature, for example, the message is that you should act like you. Not sure if this applies to my case. I could do a mix of both.

Average Regards,
AR-8291, Cillurn Diplomacy department

P.S.
I also graduated with a score of 64 in Written Communications, so all grammatical mistakes are unintentional.

Chapter Text

You've always had a problem with the way they design spaceships on Xognuna. The windows are too narrow for your physique, which makes them hard to crawl through. You've half-considered just blowing a hole through the side but you're lucky you remembered you'd be cold at night before actually going through with it. Not futuristic enough for your tastes, to be honest.

Shape-shifting into your less-threatening form is not a problem. Clawing your way out the window is, however. You flail about until you tumble outside in a heap of, well, you. Not that any of this matters ― you have exciting duties to attend to.

Yes, today is the day when you're going to mingle with the humans. Just the thought makes you feel a little hyperactive. Not too much, though. Like, in a cool and relaxed way. 

You approach the― whatever that wooden thing is, brimming with curiosity. It looks like a gate, but a useless and primitive one. The height doesn't look sufficient to you and you're sure most people could force their way through. But you come with peace, so you're going to be civilized about it.

What intrigues you the most are the two gentlemen who you can see idling by said gate. They seem to be engaging in conversation, though the moment you near them, you're quick to realize that you don't understand this language. 

Your appearance mostly confused Kotetsu and Izumo. Ill-at-ease, they both glance at each other with uncertainty. Sure, you look normal enough, but your attire is strange. Your clothes don't look shinobi-like, nor like something a civilian would wear.

You think this is a rich person or something? Kotetsu communicates with his eyebrows.

Izumo, understanding, shrugs his shoulders. Then he turns to you and says something, but to you it sounds incomprehensible. 

You make a hand motion as if telling him to rewind and he takes this as a sign to repeat himself. Once he does, he's confused by your reaction. You massage your head and then tap it a few times, and after mustering a rather constipated expression, you clap your hands.

Kotetsu gives his partner another quick, vacant expression. Are you some kind of crazy person? It's odd that you didn't ignore them and pass by in the first place, you know, like everyone else does. He takes a mental note, exhibits concerning behavior.

"I'm just a visitor," you answer his previous question in fluent Japanese all of a sudden. "So I was wondering if you could let me inside your city?"

"It's a village," Izumo corrects.

"Uh, of course," you say, not at all convincing. You don't know what that is. Is it slang or something? You have so much to learn.

"Sure?" Kotetsu doesn't sound assured of his answer, either. "Are you a ninja, or?"

"Oh no, nothing like that. I'm just a traveller."

"A traveller from where?" Izumo prods.

"Well, to be honest, I lived in the forest until a few minutes ago," you tell them. And it's not a lie, just a half-truth.

The two break out in whispers. You strain to hear what they're talking about, but manage to miss the memo somehow. When they're finished, the one without a strange bandage over his nose makes a gesture for you to follow him into the 'village' and so you do, with unnecessary enthusiasm.

He blinks as you. "Why are you skipping?"

"I fell in a bush on the way here and my leg fell asleep, so I'm trying to work it out," you explain.

"Alright."

"No need to be judgemental, you asked. But anyway, where are we going?"

Throughout your walk, you can't help but feel unexpected disappointment and general confusion. Everything looks much more simplistic than what you're used to but harder to use at the same time. The reality of this situation settles in. How are you supposed to take residence here?

"You said you lived in the forest, right? You could move here instead. Maybe. Eventually," he backtracks near the end of his sentence. It depends on what The Third says. Also, it's not a bad idea to have someone keep an eye on you, but not in a malicious spy way. 

You reach one building which oversees all the other ones. It might be more eye-catching, but you're still not impressed by it. The hallways inside are dim and the stairs are a pain to climb, but once you reach a certain door, he tells you to wait outside.

A few minutes pass by and you get bored, the agitated tapping of your foot carrying over with an echo. Izumo peeks out again and signals you to go inside without further instructions and then, he disappears. 

The room is plain, with a desk and lots of books inside, though the 'village' is visible through the windows. They're spacious. You're sure you wouldn't bruise yourself trying to crawl through them.

A geriatric human is staring at you. He dons a strange hat but despite his ridiculous get-up, you have an inkling he's someone important. You figure it's appropriate to bow as you would towards your lieutenant.

"So, you come from the forest," he says, and though he sounds calm, it also comes out awkward and stiff. The fact you're still bowing at a perfect ninety-degree angle doesn't help. He's not used to people using any similar etiquette before him in the first place; he'd like to think of himself as a friendly figure around Konoha.

You nod your head.

"And I gather you have nowhere to stay?"

"No." Actually, living in 10KX is sounding real tempting. At least you'd have your jacuzzi there. Nevermind, you can't even pretend to like that thing.

"I think it's due diligence to offer you a place to stay here. There are plenty of apartments, and though you could keep it for free at first, you'll have to find a job."

Perfect. At least you wouldn't get stuck with nothing to do, if you had an occupation. Maybe you could write about this in your manual. You're sure, at least, since their 'village' isn't advanced in the technology apartment, you could find something interesting to do. "Of course. I'd love to work."

Hiruzen makes a strange expression to that. That's a sentence he's never heard. Just like kids are allergic to homework, grown-ups are averse to doing their jobs. Regardless, he shuffles through his desk until he pulls out a scroll and offers it to you as well as a brush. "You don't mind filling this out, right?"

"So no online application?"

"Did you say something?"

"I guess not." You shrug it off.

"You can do it here," he elaborates as if just to remedy the silence.

You're quick to remember that you've never used ink to write. With a contemplative expression, you dip the brush inside and Hiruzen wonders why you're examining a basic object like this, but he disregards his questioning. Maybe it has to do with living in the forest? 'On Line application' could be related to your hermit experience, too.

The fruit of your attempts isn't successful. You end up smudging dark blots all over instead of answering the questions. "Hey sir, I have a problem," you announce before flaunting your mistake with no embarrassment.

Hmm, it's probable for someone who lived in the forest to be illiterate. "It's fine. We can do it verbally and I'll write down the answers."

His movements are fluid enough despite their slowness, to your fascination. The geriatric specimen on Xognuna are quite brittle and shake a lot, but the human counterpart seems durable enough. (Hiruzen tries to ignore the way you're gawking at him.)

"What's your name?"

You glance around the room and put together a few syllables. "I'm. [Y/n] A.R."

"A.R.? What does it stand for?" Yesss, he bought the first name. You must be getting good at this, and it hasn't even been a full rotation since you began your mission.

"What do you mean?"

He doesn't question you further. Just gives you a sharp glance before writing what you told him. "And how old are you?"

"Ten."

"Ten..."

You nod.

"But you look like an adult?"

You tilt your head to the side. "Because I am one."

"And you're ten? But an adult?"

Oh no. I messed up―

"Is this some kind of joke?" He lets out a geriatric laugh. Whatever that means.

You follow suit and then decide to try a cheap shot at getting away with this. "Yeah, I'm a bit of a jokester, y'know? How old do you think I look?"

"I'd say twenty-four," Hiruzen entertains your question. You were expecting him to tell you to cut it out, but things work out in your favor once again. It must be natural. It's like something about your attitude is activating his grandpa senses.

"Ahh, you flatterer! I'm. Twenty-five," you say after a slight pause. Smooth enough.

He nods. Then, as an afterthought, "You can stop bowing now."

___

The rest of the interview is rather painless. Whenever you spout more bullshit, the more confident you grow that you're blending in just fine. This conclusion might be a bit of a stretch though, since you've failed to notice the way people are staring at your attire.

The Third takes you on a walk to this apartment he says he knows is free. He told you the form you did was just a formality, and you'll be able to live there regardless of your answers.

"I can't wait to do my taxes," you say. It sounds like a human thing to think, since you can't imagine an exciting lifestyle here. Perhaps from your perspective, as someone who needs to learn the intricacies of it, but it wouldn't be once you learn the ins-and-outs of it.

"Taxes?" he repeats back to you in minor disbelief. He's never heard anyone claim they're impatient to do anything related to spending money without any direct merit to it.

You misunderstand his reply. So humans don't have taxes, you think to yourself with a frown. "Never mind, forget about it."

If you were to lament about it, the taxes you had to pay back on Xognuna were high since you work a respectable position, which is surprising considering your general character. They developed the system so there wouldn't be homeless people despite high pricing, which is why royalty paid the most.

Not that any of this matters, once more. It's not like you can work your previous profession here even if you wanted to anyway, and now you're assuming a unique identity. And it's not even a stolen one, which is a funny crime by the way, just things you're forced to make up as you go.

It totally makes sense, you continue your internal monologue. This is why they didn't question it when I said I lived in the forest. Because humans don't pay taxes.

Hiruzen gestures towards a plain building, one that looks much like the other ones surrounding it, and one that doesn't stand out from the rest. You wonder if you'll be able to remember which one it is. "Here is where you'll be staying. I have to talk to the landlord first though."

"I see." You don't see. You also don't know what a landlord is. You should probably add it to your list of foreign terminology, in fact.

He turns in your 'documents' for you (you had trouble resisting the urge to scoff and say that those are too informal to be called so) and sees you go inside with a big smile on his face. It only serves to make his face wrinkle more than before, and you're hesitant to return it.

You take your keys from him, then he disappears. Free to be as critical as you want on your own devices, you begin inspecting every nook and cranny with a judgemental expression. 

There isn't much to judge here, to be honest. The apartment is barren except for a few basic things like a bed, a fridge, two tables and a desk. It's not big either ― you're sure you'd be unable to have a party in here. Do humans have parties?

You're not one for dramatics. Well, you could be, but not genuine ones. Sometimes you overreact to insubstantial things, exaggerated with grief just for the sake of a cheap laugh, but this isn't anything like that.

Leaning against the dirty white wall, you slide down and hug your knees. If you knew how to cry, you probably would, but you settle for seeking your own body's comfort. Everything is just so different here, so brown and green and bright unlike Xognuna's dark and frigid landscape that seems to never end.

It's obvious. This is not your apartment. You've lost your job because of a clumsy mishap, and you'll have to find a new one here. Who knows, they'll probably fire you by the time you figure out how to get back. You're not sure if you'll ever manage that ― that'd be your best case scenario, though not a guaranteed one.

You're screwed. The realization calls for a solemn shake of your head. 

Chapter Text

The first thing you do after waking up in your new apartment for the first time is grab your keys and head out. You need to get the typewriter and anything else you could salvage from 10KX. Without realizing it, you sigh as you make your way out.

Humans also seem to not have elevators, so you concede and start descending the stairs after a bit of pointless staring, like you were waiting for a lift to materialize in front of you. A middle-aged man exits one of the apartments, appearing grouchy first thing in the morning.

You observe him with great curiosity and a familiar, airheaded smile on your face. "Heyo, sir. Are you the landlord?"

"Uh, no. I live here," he answers, hesitant. It sticks out to him that he doesn't recognize you ― he feels like if he'd seen you before, he would've remembered you, considering your extravagant choice of clothes. "Are you a new neighbor?"

You nod, though you're disappointed you haven't found out what this landlord thing is yet.

"You should've introduced yourself to us. So rude," he says, joking. But you don't take it as a joke. No, this is an instruction.

"I'm so sorry." You bow. "I'll make it up to you, but I must get the jacuzzi first."

"The what?"

"Nothing."

You're quick to get out of his sight after that, not interested in engaging this conversation further after finding out he's not the landlord. You don't understand why this land needs a lord to be honest. The area isn't much to boast about and the complex itself is small. So really, you need to get to the bottom of this.

On your way to the forest, you try to memorize your surroundings so you don't end up confused and lost. Sure, the 'village' isn't big at all, but its monotonous scenery can cause bewilderment easily. Izumo and Kotetsu notice you leaving, but don't comment on it.

After you force your way in, you're satisfied to find out no children playing in the forest vandalized 10KX. Now that you think about it, you don't know why kids would do that, but you digress. Point is, everything inside is in order.

Xognunian technology often shrinks via a button on the left to make carrying things more convenient. There are some newer inventions that don't have it yet, for example 10KX, which you were supposed to test for faults during your upcoming rendezvous. Oh well. Sucks to be you.

You store the typewriter first, then press the button on the jacuzzi too, storing it inside your palm. They've both become so miniscule, you can carry them in one hand without trouble. You have a fridge and a bed but no utensils, so that should be your next priority.

You reemerge near Konoha about half an hour later, clutching your fist. Izumo graces you with a curt greeting which you return, and again you look normal enough, but he can't help questioning why you were out there for so short.

Your walk back is uneventful, though you feel smug when you can pick out the route to your building. Or, you guess it's your home now, and you're not on a vacation (a fact you've been forgetting every chance you can get). You don't know if it'll ever be a proper home, though.

The residence itself doesn't get any busier once you put in your old things, but you can appreciate how absurd the jacuzzi looks inside that dirty white bathroom. You positioned it specifically where it wouldn't make sense to maximize your amusement.

Arranging your spoons and forks to your liking, then settling your blender on the counter reminds you that you've yet to check out the food here. Who knows? It might not be that different from the one on your home planet.

After a bit of wandering around, you find a food market. You think it's interesting how it's out in the open, as well as the variety. You can tell there are meats and fruits, but you're unsure of their names and tastes.

Oh wait. I have no money. Your face blanks after your realization, and you're left to blink a few times before you come to your senses.

You strut towards one of the stands with a bit too much confidence. A short elderly woman looks at you with unreasonable happiness, which you figure must be some advertisement tactic. Well, too bad you're roleplaying as something close to a cave dweller now. "Hey, miss. You have job positions open or?"

Her expression shifts to one of puzzlement. "You want to help with the stand, kid?"

"Yeah, I lived in the forest until yesterday, so I need a job," you explain. Back in Xognuna you'd guilt trip your friends into doing things for you because 'it's your birth month' even though a celebration doesn't last that long anyway, so you figure you might use the forest story now.

She becomes alarmed at what you've told her and it works out in your favor because she agrees to let you help. You doubt this will make you rich, so you dub it as a baby step in your head. Again, the process is not formal at all, but you bite your tongue and resist complaining.

"Hmm. Today is a bit of a busy day and this isn't rocket science, so I it'd be better if the two of us take orders," she says.

You crack your neck as if preparing yourself for a boxing match or something of the like, and thus begins your first day.

All the customers so far have avoided you, and you didn't notice until now that someone is approaching. She looks like she's in a rush ― a little frazzled, and keeps looking over her shoulder ― so she doesn't have the patience to wait in line for your boss, miss Granny as you've duped her.

"I need uh, three kilos of tomatoes," she tells you, urgency written over her expression. You watch as she points at the red looking things and decide to follow her instructions. 

With a lift of your finger, the tomatoes start floating (and the weight accuracy is almost scary, because a few of them split in 2/3rds to make it precise) inside these bags miss Granny told you to use. 

You realize you might've kinda messed up when you notice a big part of the crowd gawking at you, including the woman herself. Sure, they're aware ninjutsu exists, but they've never gotten to witness such a show up close. Civilians and shinobi are separate for the most part, except for seeing burdened strangers donning the Konohagakure symbol roaming here and there throughout the day.

With a frown, you realize you're not good at blending in. It'd been a knee-jerk reaction, really; this is how you're used to doing chores.

The woman blinks for a bit. "Thanks," she says, stupefied, then grabs the levitating bags in both of her hands and whisks away into that mess of monotonous buildings.

Your stunt, however, seems to intrigue the rabble. They scramble around the stand and observe your movements with great interest, eager to tell you which one of these strange fruits they need. Granny was going to scold you for using ninjutsu in public, but changes her mind. Seems like this was an appropriate business move, after all.

Work time goes on for a bit after that pesky sun dips behind the horizon. Though with the aid of your Xognunian abilities, you feel no physical exertion, the weather had definitely worn you out. Now in the shade, you go from too hot to freezing.

Granny warned you not to help her with putting the stand away, as you'd already been 'too busy entertaining the passersby.' You'd argue you're not tired, but you're not sure if that's suspicious behavior. She picks up the topic though, something that doesn't surprise you. "So, were you a ninja?"

"What? Why does everyone keep saying that?" you complain with a roll of your eyes.

"You have these weird expensive-looking clothes and using ninjutsu just solidified the idea in my mind," she explains, turning serious. It's creeping you out since she was acting like a clueless senior citizen all day. "I thought you might be retired."

"No, I'm not a ninja." It sounds silly to you. Your idea of a ninja is someone who runs around in cartoony attire and slashes enemies with their sword, not a regular everyday occupation. You're not an assassin to any degree, though, you are a diplomat. Or, were. 

This is taking some time to get used to.

After putting a few more crates away, she waddles up to you in that funny way old people do and hands you a bunch of worthless papers. You take them, trying to suppress the stupid expression you're sure is about to show on your face.

"I know it's not much pay, since this is the kind of job we're doing," she explains. "Half for me and half for you. Today was probably the busiest day I've ever had thanks to your tricks, but since we have to split it, it still doesn't amount to that much."

"Of course," you agree, pretending to understand. Well, there are a lot of papers and a few coins, so you're sure it's not that bad.

"See you tomorrow at seven in the morning." She gives you a close-eyed smile.

Great. Now you have to learn the clock.

You spot the gentleman with the strange hat in front of your apartment complex and he looks pleasantly surprised to meet you halfway. You wonder what it is with the elderly of this 'village' taking care of you, but you're not complaining.

"Where have you been?" Hiruzen asks, smoke coming out of his tobacco pipe. "I was looking to get a hold of you and give you your check, but you were gone earlier."

"I found a job." Is this like an unemployment stimulus? But I'm not unemployed anymore.

He tries not to look shocked. That was damn fast. "Really, where?"

"I'm helping at a food stand thingy," you reply.

"I see. Take it, don't be shy." 

You've collected a lot of papers today. You're guessing this is the currency of this 'village' and you're not too curious to find out the details, having survived with nothing in the forest for who knows how long without even a scratch and all.

Once The Third is out of your line of sight, you enter and then make your way to your apartment and perhaps you're redundantly repeating these words in your head to get used to the idea. Turns out, climbing up stairs is more difficult than going down them. Who would've thought? Your knees hurt and you feel a bit out of breath.

When you settle inside, you dump your earnings on a counter with a remarkable lack of responsibility and take position in front of your typewriter. Thus, your note taking begins.

Tomatoes ― the red circular things.
Cucumbers ― oblong and green.
Oranges ― self-explanatory.
...

You feel like you're in school again. It's been a week and you've learned the clock and remember most of the fruit and vegetables, and you stare at your list every night before bed like you did with your binders back in university. It's definitely a benefit that you already understood their metric system. Somehow, this is more difficult than it sounds and trying to keep your ignorance inconspicuous makes it even worse.

Humans don't lead exciting lives, so they talk about you. 

Obito Uchiha hears about a foreign person in strange attire who does juggling tricks at the food market with a gracious smile. At first when he sees you, it's from far away, and you've got an array of fruit swirling in the air making strange patterns until they enter plastic bags with unexpected elegance. The civilians appear pleased with your show.

Your smile pisses him off, to be honest. Something airheaded and innocent about it. It's hard to judge a person by a glance alone, but you look like you possess the sense of verity he lost more than a decade ago. It's really not your fault you've caused such a reaction.

Then, when you spot him coming closer in line, your expression shifts. He finds he likes the sly edge of your face more than whatever you were doing before, but he figures his opinion doesn't matter.

You get closer to him as if he's something you're fascinated by, making him step back away. "How can I help you?"

Obito lists off whatever he remembers missing from his fridge and you follow your usual routine of levitating the plants around. He's ready to pay you and go on his way to his miserable house and then go on his next mission that he'll complete begrudgingly until you address him again.

"I gotta say, sir, you're really hot."

Huh? 

Chapter Text

Maybe the older humans draw you in because they look more natural to you, with facial imperfections here and there. The ones closer to your age all look a bit too smooth while the children are fragile like you could break them with one wrong move. (Not that you mean to be morbid.)

The man in front of you doesn't look geriatric, yet his physiognomy interests you. You're sure he'd stand out in a crowd, scarred face but still handsome, unlike the other dull and conventional humans. He's wearing the same type of outfit as the guards in front of the gate, so you figure it's an uniform.

Feeling yourself as quite the Casa Nova, you decide to use your usual brazen approach. "I gotta say, sir, you're really hot."

You've had people reject you before, but you've never seen someone recoil from you. Maybe if you were a more sophisticated, prideful person, you’d suffer embarrassment. You tilt your head in evident confusion instead.

Sure, having grown a worn and cynical shinobi overtime, Obito had complaints about you in his head but it's not like you did anything to him. The idea of someone being attracted to him makes him cringe. He's always been on the plain side, especially compared to his more stunning Uchiha counterparts. You have to be taking the piss. You look great, after all, and he's prepared for someone to jump out and scream about how he's been pranked.

Obito doesn't recall an instance where someone has called him hot before, which might be sad considering he's in his twenties. The biggest semblance of a compliment he's ever gotten is when the grandmas around the village would fawn over him because he helped them with their groceries. Taking into account the fact they probably had cataracts, he's sure none of it meant much about his future regardless of his disfigurements.

"Uh, thanks," he responds, intelligently.

He proceeds to take his bags and intends to leave, but he can't help noticing the multiple ANBU members scattered around the area. It makes him feel suspicious since he's aware they don't lurk in big groups around the civilian areas without reason.

Before he can think about it, he blurts out, "Wanna go for ramen at Ichiraku's after you finish work?"

"Oh, so you don't have a stick up your ass," you say, though you smile which makes him believe you're at least half-considering his offer.

"I'd prefer to believe my asshole functions properly."

"Prefer implies it might not be." He rolls his visible eye at your smartass comment, but your mood changes from teasing to happy in a flash as you blow him a kiss. "I'll see you there at eight." Sounding a bit unnecessarily proud, unbeknownst to him because you taught yourself to recognize the time and memorized your schedule.

He turns to go on his merry way, but then you interrupt him again.

"Hey, speaking of there, where's this Ichiraku thing?"

After listening to his convoluted explanation that involved you remembering exact directions ― left, right, left, left, something, something, right and so on ― you decided to ask your Boss about it instead, and waved him off.

Just as Obito suspected, the ANBU are indeed following you. He felt he was jumping to conclusions at first, though it also makes sense since your brief shows became somewhat widespread. He heard about them before meeting you, even, despite not hanging out around these parts of the village. He wants to sort out this situation.

Even after you join him under the curtain, he spares a lingering glance towards the masked fellows, but they do not leave the vicinity. Meanwhile, you're having much more oblivious and irrelevant thoughts, most of them along the lines of how you've barely been on Earth for a few Xognunian rotations and you already scored a date.

"What would you like to order?" some middle-aged guy says.

Your companion says something that sounds like shoyu ramen and you get the impression he enjoys saying that word a lot. When the shopkeeper turns his attention towards you, you tell him you'll be ordering the same as him, now curious what the rave about this thing is all about.

"I just realized, we never introduced ourselves," he says, looking at you with the slightest amount of interest.

"Oh yeah. I guess you are a bit distracting." Okay, there goes the obnoxious flirting again. If you keep at it for any longer, he might believe you at some point. "I'm [Y/n]."

"Obito. Nice to meet you. Are you new around here?"

"Yes, I used to live in the forest," you say, casually, with a wide smile on your face.

"Really?" He squints his eyes at you, as if he's skeptical. His next words aren't particularly tactful, but you don't seem to mind. "Where'd you get these clothes?"

"It's just what I wear," you answer, as if you hadn't noticed that you stick out like a sore thumb in the crowd. You resemble what he imagines someone from a different era might look like, if he has to put it into exact words. "You like 'em?"

"Well yeah, they look good on you." And are skintight without leaving much to his imagination, for whatever reason, not that he's complaining about that part, and it's not like he'll tell you the details either. 

You coo at him and flap your hand around in an exaggerated manner, like you're trying to imitate a lovesick schoolgirl. He still can't tell if you're joking or not. "Aww, you flatterer."

"You kinda look out of this world."

You let out a giggle he doesn't register a nervous and shake your head. "Now that is just a tinfoil-headed conspiracy theory."

As bizarre as it might sound, despite noting that the civilian humans tend to wear plain clothing, you didn't give it much thought. You suppose a shopping spree is in order sometime soon. Your obliviousness was always something you got in trouble for back when you lived your normal life, though it hasn't happened here as of now.

"Nah, I'm just kidding," he reassures. "I'm not one of those kinds of people." Whatever that means.

Your two servings of ramen arrive soon after that exchange, and you decide to dig in with no specific expectations. It's strange compared to what you're used to, unlike the fruits and vegetables which were just about familiar, though the taste isn't unpleasant. Far from it, even.

Chatter had ceased between you two until you hear a crash and something abruptly pushes Obito into you. You, being stronger and more durable than most humans yet also unaware of it, don’t budge an inch, let alone think to pretend you're startled. Instead, you turn your head around with a frown. "The hell was that?"

You realize within seconds that there's a new face at the table, a rather tiny human with blonde hair and whisker markings on his cheeks. Strange, you think to yourself, I've never seen one like that before.

"Naruto, careful," Obito says, attempting to keep up his cool teacher demeanor that Naruto definitely didn't think he has. (How could he, when Obito has assisted him in TP-ing the Academy?) Despite gritting his teeth in pain, he doesn't question where your unexpected herculean power came from.

"You're fine, old man," the kid retorts. You stifle at laugh at this ― his spunky attitude looks like something you could appreciate.

"I'm not old."

"Yes, you are," the so-called Naruto argues. "And you're hanging out with another old person."

You're quick to stop laughing now that he's said this. "Hey. We're not old."

"The change in attitude―"

"Yes, you are. Eww, you guys probably have cooties," he exclaims, though he soon recovers from this drama and takes a proper seat, eager to order some of his favorite treat. You think you heard him say something different from what the two of you are eating, but it still has ramen attached at the end.

Taking this as an opportunity, Obito smirks and starts ruffling his hair. "Yeah, we do. Now I'm transferring them over to you."

"You have cooties?" you say in mock disgust, deciding to join in their conversation while Naruto tries to fend him off to no avail. "Speak for yourself, and I'm leaving."

"This is what happens when you're Obito. You get cooties and your friends leave you," the boy announces, like this is some kind of scientific hypothesis, then sticks his tongue out at his superior.

Obito was a bit withdrawn in your interaction with him so far, which makes sense since the two of you just met, so you find this exchange interesting to observe. Naruto appears to choose you as his new subject of interest when he gives you a rather curious look, then points. "Are you a ninja?"

"Nah."

"Hm. It looks like you know ninjutsu, though. Y'know, at the food market," Obito adds, wondering what you have to say himself.

Oh! So humans are telekinetic, but they call it ninjutsu, you conclude, adding a new piece of information to your list of cultural differences. Might as well get adjusted to it. The way he talks about it though, it sounds like this ninjutsu stuff isn't all that common. "Well, yes. But I've never worked as a ninja."

You continue enjoying this unaccustomed luxury you now recognize as the unspecified ramen until you remember to ask one important question. "Yo, like, is this your kid or something?"

"No!" 

"No. And, don't sound so offended," Obito scolds, his face twisting into a lighthearted glare. "I have to help Naruto out with some stuff because. Reasons."

"Careful, you might lose yourself in the details," you warn jokingly, though you don’t demand any further elaboration.

"And why were you running here?" This time Naruto is the one being questioned. Obito tries his best to appear disappointed, but being hard on the kid is difficult. He's not sure how the rest of the poopy villagers have it in them to act the way they do.

"Iruka-sensei was chasing me, it's cool now though." 

"By it's cool now, you mean to say you lost him off your trail?" you inquire.

Obito sighs. "He probably gave up. No offense Naruto, but everyone know you're a regular here. Next time you're hiding, pick a different place."

The shopkeeper chimes in with a raise of his hand. "Objection, him hiding here is good for my business."

"It's not good for my tab though," he replies under his breath, somewhat dejected.

"Hey, speaking of your tab," you trail off and then move closer to him again. He doesn't think much of it this time, figuring you're just the kind of person who forgets about boundaries sometimes, but he realizes something is wrong once you trail your hand up his shoulder. "Can you pay for mine?"

So this is what it was. He raises an eyebrow at you as if to ask why, and you sigh before you give him your explanation. "Well, you asked me out on this date, so you should be a gentleman."

"We're on a date?"

"We're not?"

"Umm?" Naruto interrupts, though not to offer any commentary related to the topic at hand. "One more serving. Please."

Great. Looks like Obito has to pay for a lot of ramen portions tonight.

After Naruto finally feels full (something you started thinking would never happen), the three of you decide to head off, until Obito stops you. "Let's uh, help Naruto go home since it's late, and then I want to talk to you about something."

You agree with no doubts about it. Since the blondie is a kid, you don't think it's safe for him to be walking around in the dark anyway, no matter how safe the village may seem. You're still unaware of the ANBU following you around, but Obito is wary of them. What could they want? He was hoping they'd leave by now, but Naruto's sudden appearance might have made things a tad more complicated.

On the way to Naruto's house, the two engage in some conversation you don't pay attention to. You believe the boy is detailing his school day, but you lose the plot when he describes some kid turning into an enormous ball and then rolling down a hill. You think it's weird, though, since strictly interacting with the people who live in your area gave you the impression humans can't do such things, yet here you are, hearing about oddities and Obito doesn't sound one bit surprised by any of this information.

Once the three of you arrive in front of Naruto's apartment complex and see him off, the secretive ninja run away into the night as well, and Obito figures now is the appropriate time to pick this topic up. 

"What'd you wanna talk about?"

"Well first off, have you noticed any ANBU following you around?" he says, getting straight to the point.

You make a frustrated grimace, like you're giving up. You provide the answer to his question with one of your own, though. "Am I supposed to know what that is?"

"I'm really starting to buy that story about living in the forest now," he says, somewhat bewildered. Perhaps because while still trying to keep his attitude and becoming somewhat disingenuous in the process, he grew up to be a rather skeptical person. His first assumption was that it was a coverup story.

You've been nothing but harmless, though. If you're putting on a front, it's all coming along without flaw. He's not sure what your intentions are, since it's undeniable there's something fishy going on, but the idea that you're faking your entire conduct is sounding more and more far-fetched.

You shrug, as if to convey an 'I told you so’. If you feel any offense at his admitted disbelief over your story, you don't let it show. 

"Okay. Have you noticed some weird masked men around?" he paraphrases.

"Yeah, at the food market," you say after a beat of silence, like you've been struggling to recall this detail. "They've been staying around there since over a week ago, but I didn't pay them any mind. I thought they were some weird litterers."

He deflates at your explanation. "[Y/n], your logic makes no sense. But nevermind that, what about after work?"

"I dunno. I don't pay attention to my surroundings." You offer him a peace sign, and he can't help wondering why you're so nonchalant about this.

"I think the ANBU are following you 'cause you're a newcomer," he says, and it makes you blink. You radiate both confusion and serenity. "The Third probably thinks you're a spy."

"A spy? Who'd want to spy on your village?" you ask, and you don't mean to be rude, but it makes no sense to you. You come from a planet much bigger than that, yet those conspiracies were hardly common ― hell, you've negotiated with people from whole different universes. So you see no logical reason for the things that occur on Gaea.

"I guess living in a forest can make you sheltered."

"You guess?" you interrupt with a raised brow.

"Anyway," he disregards your little addition to his tirade like it's nothing. "Since Konoha is a major power in the Fire Country, sometimes people sneak inside the village and try to start shit, pretty much."

Oh, so Konoha is the name of the 'village'. You have heard it thrown around in conversation a few times, but couldn't connect the dots until now.

"But all these people at the top are pissing me off. They can't keep treating everyone who comes inside the village like a goddamn spy," he rants, though you get the impression it's not you he's talking to anymore. More like, venting out his frustrations about his underlying socialist agenda that hasn't come true in this Fire Country place yet. "You didn't even do anything. I've been hearing they're making these insane decisions―”

"Okay first off, calm down, we can get you um, a laxative or something. Second, what do you think we can do about that?" you interrupt, noticing him gradually get worked up the more he speaks.

"We?"

"Well um, yeah, I am kind of being followed around by government officials, apparently. So might as well," you respond, being a bit too casual about it.

"You should start off talking to The Third, but he'll probably do jack shit about it," he suggests, contemplative. He doesn't know what he can do to help fix the rest of these problems, though; he's nothing more than a washed up jonin.

"Is that the little geriatric man with the hat?"

He stares at you in mild incredulity for a second, though he figures he should get used to these quips. He likes your use of that clinical word targeted at elder citizens. "Yeah."

"And he thinks I'm a spy? But he was so nice to me," you say with a pout. Obito didn't know someone could look cute while being ignorant and weird, but he supposes people learn new information every day, after all.

"Psh, what of it? People lie all the time. Or act like hypocrites." This holds true for Hiruzen more so than anyone else. He speaks of changes he knows he'll never do, and doesn't do a damn thing to oppose those he needs to defy, yet he has the time to hire ANBU to trail after you when you didn't even do anything wrong. What a joke.

You stroke your chin like you're in deep thought. The people here, the ones you meet and come in contact with, they all look so fragile. You almost didn't believe humanity to be capable of fraud and deception. "So he was being insincere."

"Probably. I'm not sure what his problem is. It's just human nature."

"... I see."

Chapter Text

After your talk with Obito, you returned home and mulled over what to do throughout the night. Since you need to appear clueless and therefore harmless, you don't think bringing attention to your awareness of the ANBU is a good idea. On the other hand, having these freaks follow you around is creepy. You kind of wish he didn't point it out to you.

When you make your way onto the street, your wish to spend your free day in the library quickly vanishes once you notice the masked men littered around your neighborhood, watchful of your movements. Abruptly, you turn on your heel and change locations towards the Hokage building.

The street feels endless, and now you're too aware of these people trailing after you like neglected puppies not to notice their repeated presence. They do not follow you inside, but the corridors and stairways haven't gotten any shorter from last time.

No one questions you when you storm inside, perhaps because of the urgency that reads in your movements. You're nervous when you knock, not out of fear but rather irritation. You can't believe you'd been living with these stalkers around you, and didn't even notice.

"Come in?" You recognize the voice of the man who replies to you, Hiruzen Sarutobi. He sounds warm enough, but you don't trust that now that there's deceit involved.

You're quiet when you enter, like a ghost, and play up the panic-stricken expression on your face as you slide the door closed. Then, you press your body against it and release an exhale.

"Oh, [Y/n], it's you," he greets, smiling, with the pipe still in his mouth. "Are you settling in alright?"

You force your face to wrinkle through sheer theatrics and then blurt out your plight. "No, Sir The Third! I'm being stalked."

His expression shifts to concern, your words too worrisome for him to question that awful nickname, but he doesn't acknowledge your words further. Instead, he urges you to continue with his silence.

"There's these weird people with masks, all of 'em. I think they're in a gang or something. They've been following me around for weeks!"

"Masks? What kinds of masks?" Hiruzen puts away his cigar and his lips settle in a prominent frown.

You hum and tilt your head in fake recollection, your index finger finding its way to your chin. "Animal masks, I guess."

He stands up from his chair, apparently alarmed. From what Obito told you, he would've been the one to organize this, so you're not sure why he's surprised. If the action is not genuine, he does an impressive job at being convincing. "ANBU? But why?"

"Umm, I don't know?" you shoot back.

Hiruzen clenches his fists, his teeth gritting against one another, and his eyes narrow. You blink at him, confused with his change of demeanor. He gestures for you to stop blocking off the exit, and so you do. As he storms by you, all you can hear is the indignant mumble of someone's name. "Danzo."

This is the first time you've heard about this Danzo character, but you try to commit the syllables to memory. You believe he must be important for The Third to assume he's conspiring against you, of all people, for whatever reason. Yet again, this recent development would mean Obito's theory was wrong ― that it's not Hiruzen who believes you to be a spy.

Shrugging to yourself, you rationalize it wouldn't be wise to leave before you know for sure he has settled this matter. You make yourself comfortable by sitting on the Hokage's desk, swinging your legs up and down, with no intent of hiding your impatience.

To your surprise, Hiruzen doesn't take too long before he returns. He appears to have calmed down despite the slight presence of an irk on his face. He's gentle when he closes the door, then he addresses you. "I have personally permitted you to stay in this village. If the ROOT members bother you again, please let me know."

"What? Root? Were those trees?" you ramble as you slide off his property and then take to hovering near him, this time more intrigued than scared.

He chuckles a little. "No, no. Don't worry about it."

Hiruzen isn't sure if you're really scowling at him. Then he blinks, and it's gone like a trick of the eye. Looking rather cheerful, you wave him goodbye before disappearing with as much haste as when you arrived.

In an attempt to spend your day as you had planned, you try navigating where your Boss had told you the library is. You suppose you veered off-track somewhere along the way, because you're seeing too many shinobi and not enough civilians. 

You huff and cross your arms, thinking about how you'll have to trace your steps back now until you're stopped by a peculiar sight. You watch as a boy, his face resembling those beasts you now know as frogs, runs around in circles. You raise your eyebrow at the display ― is this a human recreational activity?

You jump in front of him, then point. "What's your name?"

"Rock Lee," he stutters, albeit saluting you. Lee doesn't want to halt his training, but he figures that answering an adult's question is the polite thing to do.

You like that human kids are much more kind and innocent than the Xognunian ones. It lets you get along with them instead of get chased off with rocks thrown at you for hanging out at their smoking spot. Well, Naruto did call you old, but you don't think he meant it in a bad way. Or at least that's what you like to tell yourself.

"Can I join you?" Yesss, I'm so fitting in, you say in your head.

"Of course! Just be diligent to keep up."

You're surprised by his vocabulary despite his age, but let it go. Maybe children here have really advanced with their speech, though that contradicts Naruto's talk of cooties. It seems you're gathering conflicting information here, but you can sort it out later.

Hmm, perhaps he's the son of some royalty and takes etiquette classes, you theorize as you recall coming in contact with the monarchy back on Xognuna.

Lee's training regiment is not at all difficult for you. You were expecting him to switch it up, but he has strange devotion to doing these laps around the village. Without breaking a sweat, you decide to use this opportunity to see more of the unknown areas in Konoha, not fond of the idea of getting lost again.

You don't keep track of how many times the two of you do this, but you note the shift in scenery once evening nears, which tells you that you've been at it for longer than you noticed. In a way too used to mecha surroundings, the simplicity and sheer natural state of the things here irritated you more than anything in the beginning of your stay. But now, you're realizing Gaea really is a beautiful planet.

Lee comes to an abrupt stop and gives you a thumbs up, despite being obviously out of breath while you look as fresh as you did when he first spotted you. You wonder what he got so worked up for, but decide it's better not to question it. "You are worthy indeed."

"Worthy of what?" You look at him dumbly.

"Er, I do not know. I was just saying that," he admits, deflating. "Many people believe what I do is extreme, but you took it in stride, so I am impressed."

"Oh, I see," you concede with a smile before nodding. Though, you didn't realize your physical capabilities were abnormal, since according to what you've heard humans are telekinetic as well. Maybe you'll at least pretend you're tired next time.

The two of you stand there in awkward silence as Lee tries to recover.

"Hey sir Lee, do you know the way to the library?" you ask, once you remember how you ended up out here in the first place.

"Sure." Sir?

Trying to find Obito after your initial introduction with him proves to be more difficult than you expected. You want to inform him of what your conversation was about, but meeting him by coincidence proves to be impossible. You then tried asking around about him, but people would either grace you with weird looks or not know who he is.

You see a man with some kind of questionable book in his hands, but you notice he's wearing the same uniform as Obito, even down to having one of his eyes covered. Seems like he's probably a ninja. You were just on your way to work, but this is fine ― you figure it won't take away too much of your time to ask.

"Salutations," you say.

The man is either ignoring you or doesn't understand you're speaking to him. You clear your throat before smacking the porn out of his hands, and then fix him with an almost blinding smile while you reiterate the same ridiculous greeting.

He squints his eye at you in obvious annoyance, before he bends down to pick up that erotica he was reading out in broad daylight. You can sense the awkwardness radiating off of him, but it's not your fault he was doing this in public. As to not acknowledge what just transpired, he tries to act casual. "Do you need something?"

"I was wondering, do you know where I could meet a squire named Obito?"

"Since when is Obito a squire?" Kakashi responds, his eye crinkling with puzzlement this time instead of discomfort. then relents with a weak shake of his head. "Nevermind. He's on a mission, I don't know when he's coming back."

You pout at that. You begin to question what kind of mission he's on, and if what humans classify as such is any different from tasks carried out back on Xognuna. The lack of organization also bothers you a bit; to you, an expedition isn't an expedition without a deadline, after all. Yet this seems to be a common problem on Gaea.

These ANBU and tree people would also fall under the ninja umbrella term, if you're understanding the way this works correctly. Yet they hide their faces while most of the other ones don't. You're not sure how this hierarchy of anonymity is decided either, but you figure so long as you don't get too involved with these matters, it shouldn’t be a bother.

"Ah, how do you know him?"

You roll your eyes. "He made me paranoid by telling me people are stalking me."

"Send him my regards next time you see him," the man tells you, not at all taken aback by what you'd just confided in him.

"Who are you, then?"

"Kakashi Hatake," he introduces himself, rather nonchalantly, before he flips his book back open as if you're not still right in front of him.

"And what should I tell him?" you prod.

"Regards."

You find his reply a little strange, but don't dwell too much on it. Perhaps the citizens of Konoha are a little shy and don't enjoy elaborating on their speeches. Regards, unspecified. No, you're starting to like the sound of that ― you should steal it and use it in your next letter to the lieutenant.

Obito was absent for the two weeks following your conversation with the enigmatic Kakashi Hatake. Or, at least, you'd like to pretend he's enigmatic. To you, it comes off like he's more endearingly pathetic than anything, yet you overheard civilians fawning over him while tending to the food stand. 

You're hanging near the edge of the village, wondering if you should go back to 10KX again and retrieve some more furniture when you see his silhouette approaching in the horizon. You wave at him, which he returns as he comes closer towards you.

"Some guy named Kakashi told me to give you regards," you inform him as an opening line.

"What regards?"

You give him a dismissive wave of your hand. "I don't know, just regards."

He rolls his eyes as if to say typical Bakashi, though he doesn't exactly want to waste any more time on empty chatter. Of course, the first time you met him was under very specific circumstances, and he needed to know if things were resolved while he was away. "Did you speak to―"

A blur of green and a questionable amount of energy interrupts his inquiry. You think you see a bunch of kicks and some screaming before things calm down, and you're met face to face with an oversized version of Rock Lee. You blink.

He graces you both with a grin that shines a bit too much, all while shoving a thumbs up in your face first and then Obito's. You realize he's striking the same pose Lee had back then. You wonder if this is his ancestor or something, many assumptions running in your head.

"Konoha's Sublime Green Beast is here to lend you his congratulations," the man exclaims.

"You are green," you agree, nodding sagely.

Obito lets out a tired sigh. "Not now, Gai."

"I wasn't talking to you, ingrate," the so-called Gai denies with a dramatic flail of his hands before pushing himself between Obito and you. You get the inkling that last comment was a joke, but you're not sure.

The brunet fires up at this, his nostrils flaring as he wags his finger in Gai's general direction like he's about to start nagging, until he's once again interrupted. "I was talking to the Future Green Overseer of Konoha."

"Yo, rewind for a second. You were talking to the what?" Obito asks, eloquent as ever.

"Ahem. Behold." Gai opts not to elaborate on whatever the fuck he just said and then gestures grandiosely in your direction. 

Obito pinches the bridge of his nose. His first instinct is to question how he got roped into this situation (whatever it is that's going on between the two of you), but he's more intrigued by what you did to get in this position.

You clap your hands at this and smile. "You were talking about me? That sounds like fun. What do I do?"

"I knew you had youth in you," he says with an unreasonable amount of happiness, and the word 'youth' comes out as a scream more than anything. Whipping out a green jumpsuit, a replica of the one he's wearing, he declares, "I heard from my student about your juvenescence. Accept my offerings and become the third beast of Konoha!"

You consider the outfit in his hands like you're actually about to take it from him. If you have to be honest, you're about the leg warmers. His gratuitous use of the thumbs-up is good at persuasion, you come to find.

Obito's eyes widen, and neither of you can tell how severely he's about to overreact as he tugs on the piece of fabric in Gai's hands, frazzled as he begs you. "No, [Y/n]! Don't listen to him, your current clothes are fine. Just fine."

"But I want to be a Konoha beast," you argue, oblivious to what that even means or entails.

"Why are you trying to take away [Y/n]'s wish?" Exaggerated tears roll down his cheeks as he says this, like he's not just debating with some other guy whether you should take that hideous thing in his hands or not.

"No, believe me. For the good of the village, and me, especially me, you have to keep your current attire," Obito tries to convince you again, almost desperate. If he has to see one more person donning that snot-colored abomination, he'll throw a tantrum.

Gai, once he hears this, lets go of the jumpsuit and lets Obito fall on his butt at his unexpected forfeit from the impromptu tug-of-war. This time, he looks into the sunset in shame and pain, almost like he's bearing Obito's embarrassment on his shoulders. "Kakashi is corrupting you. You're coming to this issue from a perverse point of view." Whatever that means.

"Shut up, that's not true!" the other man argues, convincingly, taking a defensive stance with his hands on his hips and an angry flush on his face.

You space out. What the hell did I just hear?

Chapter Text

You walk towards Obito and rip the green jumpsuit from his hands. He shoots you a rather disapproving pout while Gai yells something out before disappearing, once again with happy tears in his eyes. "Really? You're really going to wear that?"

"Well, he gave it to me," you defend, oblivious to what's wrong with this attire in the first place.

"You don't even know his name. Why is he giving you things? Does he know your size? And if he does, how?"

You deem it best to ignore his series of valid questions. "I know his name. It's Konoha's Sublime Beast of Prey."

Obito levels you with a glare at that, and your facade of seriousness crumbles as you burst out in laughter at him taking your words seriously. He huffs at your reaction and there's a moment of silence before he remembers what topic he was trying to broach before this interruption.

"So, did you talk to the Third?"

"Yes," you reply with a roll of your eyes. "He said it was because of some guy named Danzo, and it wasn't ANBU following me around, it was tree people. Like jeez, I didn't even know you guys had those."

He gapes at you before standing upright, the name you've mentioned letting him disregard your strange wording. "You mean ROOT?"

"Yes."

"They're not trees. There's this one dude who kind of is though, but he's not from ROOT, and that's besides the point," he rambles, more so talking to himself than you. The mention of this tree person piques your curiosity, but you guess you'll have to find out more about that later.

"They don't stalk me anymore," you elaborate with a smile, perhaps unnecessarily so.

"Well, that's good," he trails off and rubs his arm as if he's contemplating what more to tell you. "Listen, if Danzo ever approaches you, just run away. He's bad news. He looks um, geriatric as you call it, with a scar on his chin."

"Alright, noted." You imitate Gai's thumbs up as confirmation that you understand his advice, though Obito feels like you're being too careless about this ordeal. It's clear 

Danzo has his eyes on you for whatever reason, most likely related to his deranged monologues about restoring the old shinobi world's climate, and he's not the type of man who gives up after a slight scolding.

The next time you see Obito, it's during your work shift. You're doing your usual bit when you spot him approaching you, his aura particularly miserable. You would've asked him 'why the long face?' but that descriptor doesn't even begin to suffice how irked he looks.

You settle on something more appropriate instead. "Yo, who took a shit in your dinner?"

"And you're asking this at three in the afternoon," he says, then follows up his statement with a long sigh. The fact that you're wearing Gai's jumpsuit doesn't help his already crappy mood. He's unsure why these clothes awaken such a visceral reaction from him, but here he is.

You put your hands on your hips, half-expectant, though you're not quite certain you can have a chat with him when there's a long line behind him. "See, I'm demanded in the showbiz right now, so either spill or leave."

"Demanded my ass. These people are bored out of their minds. That's why they're entertained by shit like this."

Though that's true and you've thought about it, you don't appreciate his attitude. Not to mention, keeping the patterns original and varied isn't simple work ― it's not like you're being lazy out here! Your features scrunch in a frown and you cross your arms over your chest, feeling annoyance towards a human for what you believe is the first time. "Fuck off."

Obito blinks at you in mild disbelief, then throws his hands up. He can tell by your firmness this isn't a joke, and he crossed some kind of line with his comment. "Okay then, fine, bye," he relents, then disappears into the crowd without even ordering anything. You raise your eyebrow at his strange attitude, but decide it's better not to question it for now. 

Naruto looks almost possessed when he materializes in front of you before you can even blink. It's like one asshole goes on his merry way, and then gets replaced by a mini-asshole. He doesn't wait around for you to greet him or exert any effort trying to attempt small talk, in a rush to make his point. "I heard you're taking donations!"

"I am?"

"Yes," he agrees with a nod. "I have something for you."

You hear the crowd, made up of older people, grumble about how he should hurry up, but he seems unphased by their complaints. He sticks his tongue out while he feels around for whatever it is he wants to give you in his pocket, his eyes widening once he finds it. 

Rather haphazardly, he throws fabric at your face. You peel it off and take some time to analyze the masterpiece in your hands. It's a grey t-shirt with 'NARUTO UZUMAKI'S #2 FAN' written on it with a white marker, along with a doodle that slightly resembles his face. You can tell it's him, or a face at all, just because of the whiskers.

"I love it," you thank him with a smile. "But who's your number one fan?"

"Crusty Obito," Naruto answers with a shrug.

"Damn him." You shake your fist in the air like you're vengeful since he has taken your spot.

"I know, right? I tried to give him his shirt earlier, but he totally blew me off."

You frown at this. Sure, he was being rude towards you, that's one thing. Being mean to a kid, however, is not something you can just overlook. Pointing in the general direction of where he ran off with your thumb, you ask, "Did you follow him here?"

"Yeah." Naruto snorts air out of his nose and looks away from you, holding his chin high in the air in what most people would read as a snobby motion. You feel he's recalling something he finds irritable, though.

"Is something up with him? I didn't think he's the type of guy who acts like that but y'know, I don't really know him well, so," you press. At first you told yourself you would not pry, but it's turning out that maybe you underestimated the situation.

Naruto dismisses your concern, his flippant attitude made apparent by the way he sticks his index finger up his nose mid-explanation. "I dunno. He's just kinda like that. Starts acting all annoying some days."

"Oh, I see." You don't see a damn thing.

"Anyway, I gotta graffiti the Hokage rock again." Naruto brings his finger to his lips now, as if to convey this is a secret between the two of you. You don't consider this gesture sanitary, taking into account what he was doing a second ago.

You're not sure what this means or why he said it like it's his duty to do such a thing, but you decide to be supportive. You pretend you're closing your mouth with a zipper, figuratively throw it away to let him know you won't tell anyone, and then wave him off with a smile. 

Your next customer is grumpy when she steps up in line.

"Be careful, don't get too close to that kid," she warns, her face grim. You recognize her as a regular here, but you don't recall her name.

"What? Why?" You tilt your head with genuine confusion. Sure, Naruto admitted to taking part in vandalism just now, but what's youth without a few pranks here and there? You don't see any problem with him, he's just like any other tween.

Then, in complete seriousness, she says, "He's a demon child. Everyone knows it."

You almost laugh in her face until you realize she's not making an attempt at humor. Your light smile morphs into an expression of even more puzzlement, which progresses into worry. Just what in the goddamn hell is wrong with Gaea?

On the way to your apartment, there's a playground. Since most times you go home a bit late, it's usual for people to leave it deserted, so the silhouette on one of the swings takes you aback. You squint your eyes hard in an attempt to see better ― you're not sure why you do this so often when it doesn't even work ― and you realize it's Obito.

You contemplate between talking and not talking to him internally until he turns his head and sees you. Now you're stuck wondering if you should make a theatric ordeal out of ignoring him, but figure it's not worth the consequences. 

You're silent when you come closer to him, and he doesn't say anything either. You notice a crumbled piece of clothing in his lap, and you figure it must be Naruto's charity.

"Did you get your diaper changed yet?"

"Well, I was about to say sorry, but I changed my mind instead of my diaper." He shakes his head at your unnecessary reference to the digestive system despite going along with it.

"Pardon me, there's just something pathetic about a grown ass man somberly thinking about life while sitting on a swing," you explain.

"Right. I think I deserved that one."

"You need to say sorry to Naruto first," you add as an afterthought before pulling up your own merchandise. "Looks like you two made up though, you bagged one of these bad boys too."

"We can match with these. Lucky us," he says before letting out a small laugh. "He told me this one was for his teacher originally, but he wanted to give him number three to piss him off."

"He's so funny. Don't mess with him."

"I know that."

You frown. "Alright. But seriously, what's up? He said this is a thing that happens."

"It does, but I don't find any need to explain myself to you." He's standoffish when he says this, and you wonder if you have offended him, though you don't consider your worry about his wellbeing derogatory.

"That's true, I guess. Just don't take it out on Naruto." 

"I don't. What kinda person do you take me for?" 

You roll your eyes. "Not one that's terrible, but also definitely not someone who insults me for juggling bananas and the whole shebang and whatnot."

"Lord. Whatever." Obito sticks his tongue out at you and pulls down his eyelid as some attempt at offending you, and now you can definitely see where Naruto got a lot of his often immature mannerisms from.

"I hope you feel better soon," you tell him with a genuine smile on your face before you head back to your apartment like you were intending to. You're someone he finds it hard to push away emotionally, despite the rational part of his brain telling him he should.

The moment you've returned, you enter your bathroom and step inside the shower after taking the time to throw the jacuzzi one condescending sneer. Everything is normal enough, but once you finish and step outside, you hear the front door opening. You freeze and try to make sense of what's happening.

Whoever is outside neglects going inside the bathroom and instead proceeds into your small living space. You can't tell if they know you're here or they simply didn't think it's worth checking, though you find it hard to believe that they didn't see the glow sneaking under the door and through the dark hallway.

You expect to hear them rummage through your stuff, but everything stays silent. Wrapping a towel around yourself, you turn the lights off and open the door as slowly as possible.

You try to be as discreet as possible until you arrive in front of your counter and the person inevitably sees you. He appears to be wearing an uniform as well, and whips out a sharp weapon before he raises it and aims it in your direction.

On instinct, you let out a shrill scream. The loud noise catches the man in front of you off-guard as he stumbles back a little. Then, you grab the object nearest to you ― your blender ― and throw it at his face with frightening force.

The glass shatters and he's knocked out for good once he falls and hits the back of his head on the floor. 

Ok, what do I do now?

Of course, being a rational person you decide against getting anyone involved. You open the windows and use your telekinesis on his unconscious body and levitate him outside. Though you're tempted to just drop him to his demise with no care, you lower him to the ground safely with a reluctant and almost pensive expression. 

When this is said and done, you dust off your hands for a job well done. Still, you seem to have forgotten all about the shards scattered about now, and when you step on many of them all you can do is let out an ouch. Your flailing does nothing to aid you, and instead as you jump around in pain, you somehow end up with two injured feet.

I could've just cleaned them up with my telekinesis before I stepped anywhere... you think to yourself with a deadpan.

In the morning, the shinobi you had an encounter with awakens. Albeit confused about his whereabouts at first, his shame from yesterday comes back a bit too quick for his liking. Even though wallowing out here is tempting, he knows he must report what he experienced.

Danzo is lounging on a couch as usual. He turns towards his subordinate sharply, as if he's expecting something.

"There's no doubt about it," he states with confidence. "That person is definitely a ninja. Not only was I eliminated within seconds, a powerful artefact is what I was defeated with."

"An artefact? What kind?" Danzo questions with intrigue. His paranoid nature convinced him you're a suspicious individual, and he was right.

"I'm not sure. It was something I've never seen before ― I couldn't recognize what kind of weapon it is, but its power is immense. My face is in this unfortunate condition after just one hit from it."

"I see. You're dismissed."

Chapter Text

You don't get much of an opportunity to clean, because there's an almost instantaneous knock on your door. With a frown on your face, you creak the door just so, and see a stranger. You sense a surge of panic overcome you, but his expression makes him appear rather distressed.

"Are you alright? There was a loud noise from here," he says.

"It's fine. Some guy broke in," you reply, but you don't open the entrace any further.

"What?!"

"It's fine. I dealt with it."

"How is that fine?!"

Since you deem it appropriate not to answer, a tense silence follows. The man backs away with slow and calculated steps until he makes it inside what you presume is his apartment. His movements border on hesitant, but finally he disappears out of your sight, and you lock the door since there's nothing for you to watch anymore.

You know little about the residents of this building. It's rare that you pass any of them by, and you never really introduced yourself either. Many questions arise ― do your neighbors find you rude for this, is it too late to remedy the situation?

It's closer to your nature to be cordial, but you're not sure how you're supposed to behave. Their customs and expectations are lost on you in your circumstances.

It's like the people from Konoha you know by name vanished, except for your boss. You scan the crowds every moment you have to spare outside, but you never spot a familiar face, be it a mere acquaintance or someone you consider a friend.

At first, you felt like it was easy to meet people on accident here, but that's apparently not the case. Their lack of phones is too inconvenient. Life here looks simplistic enough, you've been getting by with no deliberating trouble, yet you're sensing that deduction is wrong, too.

You look up at the sky with a foreign hint of solemnity on your face during your break. It's clear that no one is going to get you, and if by some miracle they do, it won't be for a while. There's also the possibility they want 10KX back, but not you. So when your fellow Xognunians forget you, and when the humans forget you, in what position does that leave you?

A shadow breaks you out of your trance, and though the figure stands above you, it's not very menacing. You blink to refocus and realize it's because Naruto, who's small and very much a child, is the one approaching you. 

You almost feel ashamed for the relief that overcomes you at the sight of him. So he remembers you. And by association, maybe Obito does too, a traitorous part of yourself hopes despite the strange nature of your last interaction with him.

Naruto looks a bit out of breath. "I was looking for you everywhere!"

"Oh, I was just back here, sitting."

"Yes, I can see that. You don't need to explain," he grunts. Then, he looks to the side and whistles in a failed attempt at being inconspicuous that you don't quite catch. "Hey, can you do me a favor?"

"Depends," you say as you narrow your eyes at him.

"You don't have to look at me like I'm a criminal!" With a motion of your dominant hand, you urge him to continue. He slouches at your reluctance to believe he has harmless intentions, but recovers from it rather quickly and his request goes without trouble. "Can you come to a parent meeting thing at the Academy for me?"

You tilt your head, dumbstruck. "Since when am I your parent?"

"Since never. I thought you'd know that," he shoots back with a raised brow.

"Is that even allowed?"

"Well, yeah. No one else is willing to do it," he says with very fake tears streaming down his face. Naruto intertwines his fingers and starts shaking his hands like a beggar, and with the commotion of his wailing, you're suddenly more inclined to accept. Not like you have anything to do and hey, turns out a kid's tears are a powerful weapon, somehow.

"Fine. When is it?" you ask. You don't ask why Obito won't go, or what's up with his parents, or anything that will betray ignorance or insensitivity beyond playfulness.

"At six."

"I still have work," you say with an exasperated throw of your hands.

Naruto rolls his eyes. "Who cares about a few hours of work?"

"My landlord."

"What's a landlord?"

"This is what I've been saying. Like, what's the point?" You nod at him in understanding. 

For a moment you're glad to realize there are humans who don't know common terminology either, but soon enough it hits you this must be on account of him also being too young to know about taxes, the fact that the tooth fairy doesn't exist and probably other crucial stuff.

He disregards your agreement with him on the pressing subject, as he's apparently too good to discuss the logistics of the concept of a man owning a shabby apartment complex, and instead puts his hands behind his head with nonchalance now that he finished his job here. "See ya later."

You stay true to your word and stumble your way through the Academy, which you've never visited before, donning Gai's green jumpsuit. This is the way you perceive the humans' idea of business attire.

Despite being more or less successful in arriving there on time, you're still not sure what room you're supposed to go to. You tap the first person you spot and then you perform your signature, perfect ninety-degree bow. "In what room is the meeting?"

She's rather apprehensive and caught off-guard when she answers you. "Which class?"

Uh oh. This is a bit of a pickle. You offer her only a weak shrug, and she graces you with a reserved yet judgemental expression, like you can tell she's thinking unsavory things about you in this moment, but if you voice it out, you'll look irrational and paranoid.

The woman walks further down the hall and later; you assume she ascends the stairs. You're not sure how you can even identify Naruto's class, you don't have the slightest idea what his teacher looks like. Damn him for being vague, and also damn you for not asking virtually anything despite promising him you'll come.

You try to ask some other people, but the conversation goes about the same way. A man in ninja attire and a scar on his nose passes by and you decide you should test your luck with him too. At your inquiry, he nods with a smile. "Sure, I can help. Who's your kid?"

Awkward. You consider clarifying the situation, but decide it's not worth it. "Um. Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Oh." You can tell he's confused. "I thought I― nevermind. He's in my class actually, so we can just head there together."

Now you're the one who's puzzled. You can tell he's a ninja, but why would he also be a teacher? The order around Konoha is starting to make less and less sense. People rule over buildings, and schools don't have the proper staff. He seems like a nice guy though, so you don't want to blame him. It's just... strange.

You follow him regardless, and when you enter one of the many rooms, you notice there are already many people there, sitting in anticipation. Moments within joining them, you're brought out of your thoughts by a harsh whisper in your general vicinity.

"What are you doing here?!"

You spin your head, irritating a nerve in the process, only to come face-to-face with Obito. "Naruto asked me to come?" You mean to make it a statement, but it comes out unsure.

"Ugh."

"Ugh," you mock.

"He's always pranking me," Obito complains with a frown.

One parent interrupts your conversation with a shush, glaring you two down. You try to bow while still sitting somehow and Obito gives her a very insincere sounding apology, which only makes her scoff. Then she mutters something both of you catch. "Young couples these days."

"What, that's not it at all," the man beside you argues, obviously flustered and a bit too defensive considering the immature, gossipy nature of the subject.

The woman waves him off as if she doesn't believe him. You don’t say anything about any of this, which compels Obito to cross his arms like some kind of man-child as he stares are you expectantly.

"What do you want?" you whisper again, amusement in your eyes.

"You never react to anything," he says, his tone whiny as if you've offended him on a personal level.

You put your hands on your cheeks and flutter your eyelashes, recoiling away from him. "Don't tell me, wittle Obwito doesn't want people to think we're," and then you alter your voice to make it sound more scandalous than it is, "together."

"And you're always such a tease, too."

The same woman from before faces you two once more, as if to give you a final warning. You're surprised the teacher hasn't told you to shut the fuck up yet, but it would be weird to scold people who came as parental figures, you suppose.

You find out that Naruto's teacher's name is Iruka, and this is a school for kids that are about to become shinobi, and the thought saddens you. They're too young for de facto military work. Seriously, what the hell is going on in Gaea?

When he gets into more specific things, you don't bother to memorize them since you guess Obito will deal with it. You also have no idea why Naruto tricked you into this.

The meeting, or whatever this is, drags on for way too long. After Iruka finishes his long, long speech, you and Obito walk together in silence, until he breaks it. "Sorry Naruto did that. I don't even know what his deal is sometimes."

"It's fine."

"Oh no, you had to leave work early for this, didn't you?" Obito hits his forehead with a grimace at the realization.

"It's okay," you say. "My boss didn't mind."

"That's great."

"Mainly because I lied to her."

"Well, that's not-so-great, but it's also pretty funny. Want me to walk you home?"

"Sure, what a gentleman," you coo. "Minus that one time you threw a hissy fit because I juggle fruit on the main street."

He averts his gaze and whistles, which reminds you of when Naruto was pretending he wasn't up to any trouble earlier in the day. They really are similar. "I didn't throw a hissy fit. That was a tantrum, like grown-ups do."

"My bad," you relent with a smile. "Also, I'd like to imagine you made that offer only because I lied to my boss, and you condone that."

"Well. Who am I to ruin your fantasy?"

Yet again, after yesterday's events, your typical routine starts anew. Nothing extraordinary happens ― you wake up at the same time you always do, sleep the same hours even if you'd be fine without a blink of it (you do this to feel like you fit in), dress up, head to the fruit stand, work the same old shift with the same amount of hours.

One thing you can't adapt to is how short the human day is. There's almost nothing you can do. Your days off pass by in a blink, and on the days you're fulfilling your duties, you have no time to do anything else after. The village deserts itself of bystanders at night with everyone going to slumber, so it's not like you could partake in any activities without feeling like a major creep.

You miss your electronics, the ones that aren't functional anymore. You miss a lot of things. Will you ever go back to Xognuna, and do you even want to? Well, there must be a part of you that's shockingly sentimental if you go on these mental tangents so often. A bitter taste forms on your tongue.

But the humans are weary, too. It's on your way home that you hear it. Some man rambling about the least important of matters. "I hear from a friend that jonin who's looking after the Uzumaki kid got a significant other. He showed up with someone at the parents' meeting, apparently."

"No way," his friend gasps, befuddled. To you, it sounds exaggerated and satirical almost, but you're quick to realize this is, in fact, interesting news to the both of them. And it's not even true, not that you'll make any attempt to disprove their claims.

Then your eyebrows rise and your eyes twitch as a sardonic smile overcomes your face. Most humans really are boring, after all.

Chapter Text

Hmm, it's my free day. Maybe I should try some of these human sweets they always lose their minds over, you think to yourself. The idea comes to you randomly, to be honest, but there aren't that many ways to entertain yourself around here.

The main street of Konoha is busy. There are many civilians walking up and down everywhere throughout the day, but also a lot of shops and vendors to keep them entertained. Not too familiar with the names of your surroundings, you take to looking left and right through the windows like an idiot until you find what you're interested in.

It doesn't take long before you spot a vendor selling sweets and such. You knew what they look like, but not the taste ― on Xognuna, all food is healthy and tasteless to make sure everyone is in their best condition. Truly, your discovery of the 'salt' is worthy of being in the history books (still, your body's response to water retention had been unpleasant, bloating must be the worst feeling on Gaea).

You examine all the treats like it's serious business to do so, a foreign expression of concentration overtaking your face. While you're busy making nonsensical assessments, someone takes the spot before yours in line, and orders. Two simple words, "Sanshoku dango."

You turn around to see what that is, and you're met by the sight of the shopkeeper skewering three ball things and handing them over to a long-haired man. In a strange way, the unremarkable sweet seems tasty. "Oh, I want one too!"

They both stare at you pointedly like you did something wrong, but you don't back down. No, their miserable faces will not bring you down, you refuse. You just smile while the guy in front of you frowns. "Are you [Y/n]?"

"Um, yeah. How do you know?" You tilt your head. This hasn't happened before. Perhaps, could it be, that you're a celebrity?!

"I am Uchiha Itachi."

"That doesn't answer my question," you say, your grin wavering. Now that he has your attention, you note how nondescript he looks. His face makes him look young, but he has these protruding eye bags or whatever they are. He could be twelve or forty-seven for all you know.

"I thought you're friends with Uchiha Obito? That's how I know your name and face," he states, unimpressed by your confusion and airheaded demeanor. Or maybe sounding bored is just his default setting. You wouldn't know.

"He never told me his last name, sorry." You're not sure what you're apologizing for, but you do your signature bow, and all Itachi can do is stand still, feeling uncomfortable, while the shopkeeper waves your dango around, waiting for you to stop doing whatever this is and take it before his arm gets sore.

"It's ok. Just take the dango," Itachi mumbles after an awkward moment of silence.

You perk up at his unnecessary forgiveness and take the treat, eager to taste it. It's sweet and chewy. You think you can sense a bit of strawberry as well. "It's good."

"You've never had dango before?" Itachi asks, staring deep into your soul. It feels really intense, like he’s disappointed or disbelieving. You don't know why you're walking along with him, but this is what you're doing now, you suppose.

"Um, well, no." 

His judgemental scrutiny continues for a second before he turns his head towards the horizon. "That's a shame."

So dramatic, you think to yourself as you roll your eyes. Looking him over once again, this time you mull over his attire. It reminds you of the uniform of those roots or whatever The Third called them, though not exactly. Still, he has made no move to harm you, so it feels unfair to suspect him of wrongdoing.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen," Itachi answers, and he sounds no more invested in this conversation than before.

"Damn, that's crazy," you reply, surprised that neither of your guesses was correct.

"You're only saying that because of my tear troughs."

"In my defense, I thought they were eye bags," you reassure him.

Itachi glares at you with his lips pressed in a thin line for a bit too long once more, finding nothing to add to the conversation. You frown and avert your gaze, and you wish he'd stop doing this because it's kind of creeping you out.

"So, are you Obito's neglected little brother or something?" you prod with a sharp smile. "You go to that ninja school? How is it? Have you ever met Naruto? Are you popular? You kind of have a higher-than-thou attitude, so I assume you are."

He frowns slightly once he realizes you're the inquisitive type, but your casual mention of the jinchuuriki doesn't escape his attention. Something else he can't quite help but note is the way your remarks are ignorant, as if you don't know facts about the village in full. 

"Most kids graduate the Academy at twelve or thirteen, so no. Besides, Obito isn't my brother. We're distant relatives." Perhaps omitting his own accomplishments is for the best.

"Whoops, silly me," you say, hoping to brush off your slip-up.

"Hn."

You scowl. Whatever that response means.

"Aw, man. I ate all the dango already. I should've bought more," you announce, though you're talking to yourself more than anything, sadness showing in your tone. You ogle the bamboo skewers in your hand with profound depression, though you're brought out of your reverie by your unexpected companion.

"[Y/n]," Itachi starts, building up tension without intending to, "what if I told you, that you could prepare your own dango? And that I could teach you how?"

Your eyes sparkle at the idea, but you then raise your eyebrow. "But if you know how to do that, why'd you buy it?"

"I am perfecting my technique," he responds, acting all cool. Though you do see his point. "If you come to the Uchiha estate, I can show you."

The offer sounds intriguing, but there's one glaring problem about this whole ordeal. "Well, you know the golden rule, don't go to a stranger's house."

"That is the correct answer," Itachi says, mysteriously. "The ingredients of dango are non-glutinous and glutinous rice flour, sugar, hot water, matcha tea powder, and red food coloring." With these last words, he disappears out of sight in the matter of a second.

You blink as you observe the spot he was standing in, confusion showing on your face. Teenagers these days! What was his deal, and what does he mean by the correct answer? "So, that happened."

Next week, you're on a new journey. You read through the list you wrote after your bizarre encounter with Itachi, prepared to buy all the items in abundance. Well, he specified nothing regarding dosages, so better safe than sorry, at least in your opinion.

After a while of throwing things in a cart, you spot Obito squinting at one aisle as if he's trying to find something but failing. How lucky to stumble upon him at this very moment. After you realize he hasn't seen you yet, a nefarious grin overcomes your face as you make your way towards him without letting out any noise.

Once you're within the appropriate distance, you tickle him under his armpits without so much as a warning. Obito bursts out into involuntary laughter (you think you see him spit on the floor as well, but just a little) for a moment before he grabs your hands and restricts you from your evil deeds, turning to glare.

His eye widens a little once he realizes it's you who's staring up at him dumbly, not Naruto playing some demented prank, and you can see his cheeks flush. "I― I totally knew you were there, I just let you do that."

"Really?" You tilt your head to the side and your lips curl deviously. "You look embarrassed."

Obito lets you go and you back away from him. He stares. You stare back, then only squeeze the cheek that's not scarred just in case the other one still has lingering aches. "Aw, you're so cute."

"My God, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," you say as you release him from your hold and decide to take a moment to relish his fluster. "But anyway, I need your help, so I hope you're not too busy."

His face blanks. "You need my help?"

"Yeah, so I met your weird relative Itachi―"

"You what?!"

"―and he was being dramatic, and he told me how to make dango, but he was vague, so you'll come and help me, and taste it."

"Itachi was being dramatic?"

"Can you stop it with the stupid questions?" you say, with an arrogant and oblivious grin across your features.

"Well, that's not really his style," Obito argues.

"Ok, but does that really matter?" you shoot back, eager to put a cease to his blabbering since you're getting irked by this back-and-forth full of useless quips, though most of your talks with the man admittedly go this way. Plus, it's true that your interaction with Itachi was strange, and you were not the cause of it for once. "What matters is, if you agree."

"I guess," Obito relents, too confused to even try to dissuade you of this arrangement. Plus, maybe he secretly wants to spend more time with you, what's the big deal? He remembers your vicious attack against his underarms. Maybe he doesn't.

"Meh, good enough," you say before you return to your cart while whistling something out of tune.

"What's with the shopping spree?" Obito points at the contents.

"We need this for the dango."

"Really, all of it?"

"Yes."

He's skeptical of this and you can tell, but he doesn't comment on it either, so you don't defend your poor culinary knowledge.

"Neat place," Obito comments off-handedly once you two step inside your abode. Also, he does not know why you insist on calling it an abode, and now that he has looked at it for over two seconds, he thinks it might be a bit too neat. It's almost barren. Unbeknownst to him, you had put away everything you consider too technologically advanced earlier today.

"Sir The Third gave it to me because I used to live in the forest," you explain with a cheery tone.

"You always sound way too happy whenever you talk about that."

"Hm. I believe in... adversaries," you say, in an attempt at being natural. 

"You can't just not believe in adversaries, because they exist," he deadpans.

"I was being, um, metaphorical." You dump the groceries on your counter without a care.

"Ok then, sure."

You grace the bag full of ingredients with a pensive look, before turning toward your partner in gourmet crimes. "We have the stuff, now what?"

Obito grimaces. He's not sure why Itachi would have met you in the first place, considering how busy he is, or why he'd even consider listing the not-so complex ingredients for dango to a stranger. Not that he's on friendly terms with the boy by any means, but this all seems fishy.

And the other glaring problem is how he's not a skilled cook at all. You don't know what you're doing either ― if you did, you wouldn't have demanded for his assistance ― and so, this situation probably won't end well. Obito rummages through the bags and tries to awaken his brain to make up some last-minute plan. "I guess we could wash the bamboo skewers?"

"I was asking you about help with preparing dango, not basic hygiene," you quip with an innocent smile.

Obito crosses his arms. "Whatever, smartass." He tries to think. This shouldn't be too hard, as it isn't a complicated treat. You two should be fine just making the dough, diving it and painting it with the food coloring, right? "We need to mix the flour hot water."

You nod and apply your enigmatic abilities in full effect. He watches as one cupboard opens by itself, followed by a container floating towards the counter. The sink handles twist on their own as hot water rushes out, the flour package opens by itself, and all this without you so much as lifting a finger.

"You're really good at this," he comments, though with scant suspicion. You moved to Konoha almost half a year ago. If you had any villainous intentions, you would've probably acted on them by now. He knows you're harmless. He just doesn't understand where this skill stems from. 

"Oh, it's not a big deal," you insist. He understands this as an attempt at modesty, but no, you really are trying to convince him you're just an average person and that what you do is not at all impressive. You avert your eyes and try to sound sheepish as you mumble, "Ah, I almost left the water running. My bad."

He narrows his eyes at you, but says nothing. 

"Good, good, what do we do with the slop now?" you ask as you point at it. It doesn't resemble what you ate at all, what's Obito thinking?

"Mix it, obviously. Have you never―"

"Well, I―"

"Wait, in the forest, yeah, yeah," he interrupts.

"You're so insensitive." You roll your eyes at his attitude in fake offense. Not that you really care about his reaction to your sob story, anyway. If Obito knew what happened, he and the rest of the village would steer clear of you for sure.

"We just have to mix it together," he explains before grabbing a spoon. "But I guess you can do that with your weird jutsu."

"I can't, I got tired," you lie. "You do it."

He scowls, aware of your nonsense. You do this for hours on end in the heat without breaking a sweat. Regardless, bringing it up feels awkward, so he succumbs to your wishes. "Fine."

You clap your hands with too much enthusiasm once he bends to your will, then hand him a spoon. "Let's see how fast you can go, slow ass," you challenge.

"Fine then! Let's see." Obito then begins stirring the thing at an alarming speed, apparently threatened by your mild remark. You didn't expect him to get fired up or to take it personally, yet here he is.

"Oh, go, go," you encourage with a yell as you pump your fists in the air, watching his movements with undeserved intrigue. Well, what he's doing is boring, but you don't see him do anything with vigor. "Obliterate that slop!"

"It's not slop, it's dough."

"I do not care."

A pause.

"Do you think I mixed it enough?" he questions, running out of steam prematurely. Obito shakes his wrist a little with a whine, and you wonder if he strained it after trying to prove how good he is at stirring (what prompted this, you'll never know), but when you take a peek, you find the results satisfactory.

"It's perfect," you compliment before dipping your finger straight in. 

"What the fuck?! Don't do that," exclaims Obito, but it's too late.

You wiggle your finger in his direction as if to make a threat, and he understands your message loud and clear, backing away from you. However, it's all for naught. You ignore his attempts to escape and keep walking towards him until his ass makes painful contact with the edge of a table, and you smear the dough slop on his cheek, drawing a heart. Granted, it looks a bit deformed, but it's the thought that counts.

"Ouch, my bu― you did not just do what I think I felt you do."

You stick your tongue out at him. "Depends on what you think."

"You're so embarrassing," Obito accuses. He wonders if you find this amusing in any way. Sure, you always have a teasing lilt in your attitude, but he's not sure if you're trying to mock him or not. Regardless, he sees no reason for you to act almost affectionately.

"I'm not," you retort with a shrug. "You're just very shy, for a tall, buff guy at least."

"And I-I'm not shy, and this is unsanitary. Plus, it'll dry soon." Wiping your artistry off with one swift motion of his hand, he shakes his head.

Frowning, you tilt your head. "Do you hate it that much? Want me to stop?"

Obito glances at you, then looks away. He doesn't, not really, but he doesn't have it in him to admit it to your face now that you've confronted him about his strange attitude. "Just do whatever you want, I don't care."

His indecisiveness brings your lips to a thin line, but you decide it's better not to push him. "But anyway, what's the next step?"

"Well." He scratches his head, as if confused. "I guess we can cover it and leave it be for like, half an hour."

"What? That's boring as shit," you complain, before repeating your action from before.

Obito's nostrils flare. "Seriously, stop sticking your finger in there."

You ignore him for a few seconds, and he almost considers shaking you out of your stupor before you get your hands away from the dough. "See, I heated it up a bit with my... jutsu, so it should be fine."

"I don't know if that's how that works," he argues with a weary expression. He then pictures himself spitting fire balls into the container and at what you dub as slop, but slaps himself to ward off the mental image.

"What's with you?"

"Nothing. Ok, for argument's sake, let's say this works. Now we should knead it, right?"

"I don't know, don't ask me. I don't even have anything to knead with," you say.

"Can't you do some of your bullshit to it, then? We've invested too much time to give up now."

"Look at you, being a cooking coach," you reply, giving him a sly grin. The fact that he called your extraterrestrial powers bullshit goes without comment.

Once you locate a random wood board, which was in 10KX for unknown reasons, you grab the slop with telekinesis and slap it right on top. You put your fingers around your chin in thought, trying to come up with 'some bullshit' to apply to it. Maybe excessive force would be the easiest? You guess you could make Obito do it with his hands, but that could turn out lumpy, so better take care of the matter by your means.

The man watches as nothing happens, but it's as if there's this forced shift in the air, and the dough spreads out until it turns thinner. However, one thing is bugging him ― that phenomenon was not the work of chakra.

"Is that good?"

Your question brings him out of his stupor, and Obito thinks maybe he should disregard the matter altogether. Perhaps he wasn't paying enough attention, or something else went wrong. "Uh, yeah. Now we just turn them into balls."

"Hehe. We turn them into balls."

He groans. "You're acting like a ten-year-old who just found out what sixty-nine means."

"What does it mean?"

"Fuck you."

You point and laugh at his misery. Obito squints at the dough and takes a handful, though the shaping is not turning out right, and he questions whether his instructions so far have been correct. Well, whatever. He can't be that far off, he figures.

Imitating what he's doing, you purposefully make the balls look closer to some kind of fucked up rhomboid than an actual circle. When you have a bunch of them, you turn in his direction once more, waiting. There's no more dough left to terrorize.

"And now, the food coloring?" It's meant to be a statement, but it sounds more like a question. The more he takes in what the two of you have done, the less he believes he's on the right path, but it'll hurt his pride to admit it at this point. 

You mix the two types of food coloring you have with hot water, just like you did the flour across a few smaller bowls. The process passes by in silence before the two of you dump your abominations in them, and Obito feels anxious to try them. No, not anxious as in he can't wait. Anxious as in, he's dreading it.

They look like shit, and you appear oblivious to it, ever the optimist. He takes on the task of cleaning the bamboo skewers.

"Alright. The moment of truth. The literal fruit of our labor," you announce while you experiment with the skewers between your fingers. This was the moment you've been most excited for, to stab the balls.

"No need for the dramatics."

You both string on one of each color, and you note that they're crumbling. Obito tries to gauge your reaction to it before he tries his, which is a coward's move, but he's not ecstatic at the prospect of food poisoning either, so that reaction is not entirely to blame.

They don't look the same way the ones you ate before did, but they don't taste like it either. In fact, they're bland and more unpleasant to chew. He senses your displeasure but you don't appear to be falling ill, so he's at ease to try them now.

The first moment Obito bites into the white piece of dango is alright. Sure, it doesn't taste great, but that was to be expected at this point. Even though you didn't have any kind of critical reaction to it, his stomach grows more upset the more he eats, and the aftertaste of styrofoam is only getting more lethal.

You notice his constipated expression. "You ok?"

I'm gonna be shitting blood after this, swear to god. How'd that even happen? 

"I'm fine," he says, giving you a shaky thumbs up.

You furrow your brows, unconvinced. "If you say so."

Chapter Text

Danzo reacts the moment he senses someone enter his office without so much as a warning, a deep frown etching across his face at the audacity. It's unsurprising to him when he finds Uchiha Itachi standing there, looking as impassive as always.

"It's most unpleasant that we have to speak again," the teen begins, dipping his head slightly just for the sake of politeness rather than sincere respect. It has been a few years since Itachi was last in contact with the man, when he was orchestrating a would-be incident.

"And to what do I owe your visit?" Danzo says, his tone sharp. 

"I know what you've been doing, no matter your attempts at secrecy. You need to cease your pursuits of that person," Itachi cautions, and he sounds as unamused as ever. It's not that he cares what would happen to Danzo if they found him out, but Itachi ― protective of the village as he is ― feels within himself that it's necessary to stand against him.

Because now, you're a resident of Konoha, too.

Danzo forces out a sardonic huff, his lips curling in a scowl. "And knowing the current shinobi climate, you're willing to let possible infiltrators roam about without supervision? You claim to love the village, but I can see past the farce, even if things went your way in the past."

"I don't see any 'love' in terrorizing innocents. It's true; [Y/n] has no knowledge or interest in the Nine Tails, the Sharingan, or the Uchiha clan. This much has become obvious to everyone except you, it seems."

"I won't insist that our little guest is a spy," Danzo concedes as he curls his palm around the side of his face. "But the circumstances are beyond suspicious. There's no reason for a forest-dwelling simpleton to know intricate ninjutsu of unknown origins, or to just happen to hang around the mentally damaged caretaker of the jinchuuriki. Something is wrong with this situation, we simply haven't pinpointed it yet."

Itachi shakes his head. "I won't claim that it's not suspicious. Still, what I'm saying stands true, and I have been looking into the matter myself. I'm confident enough in my call, and The Third warned you about this once already. If word goes out that ROOT is stalking civilians, all hell will break loose. Granted, when you inevitably continue this endeavor with sloppiness, information will leak out."

"Brats like you are exactly the problem. Look at you, you're not even an adult yet, but you dare speak to me in such an insolent manner. If it weren't an Uchiha having this attitude, I might've been taken aback," the elder says, with a lot of snark yet no real argument. Perhaps he's too far gone, and he has deluded himself into believing that his actions are right. In complete honesty, he could claim this for every action the man takes.

"I'm not thrilled to argue in someone else's favor," says Itachi before heading towards the exit. His ominous words before excusing himself are, "All I'm telling you is that you're going to get figured out, and no one will be on your side."

Obito got like, put-him-down levels of diseased and clogged up that terrible toilet. But hey, we had a bestie sleepover moment, so win I guess? Anyway, point is, I can't give any of the leftover dango to Naruto. Hm, I'll just buy him some. That'd be pretty nice! 

With this long tangent going on in your head, you're oblivious to what's happening around you. Currently, you're trying to find that vendor where you bought dango and less importantly, met Itachi. The dude was acting strange, you will admit, but you condone embracing who you are and all that jazz.

You're sure if you just walk in a straight line, you'll pass it by. And soon enough, your theory proves itself correct. Once you secure the dango, you wonder what to do. The lack of cellphones on Gaea is disgusting ― you can never get a hold of anyone, you just kinda have to wait for them to appear to you like oasis hallucinations or something. Still, your safest bet is that Naruto is still at school.

Wondering what it'd be like if your friends had phones, you imagine Naruto sending you blurry pictures while trying to run away after a prank. And also you spamming Obito with walls full of emojis, and him leaving you on read. Sounds like those would be the realistic outcomes of that scenario.

With these nonsensical thoughts in mind, you go on your merry way towards the Academy. The first time you were there, no kids were around as it was nearing evening, yet now you can see parents and grandparents headed there to pick up their youngsters. 

You smile and follow their trail on the way to the backyard of the school. Apparently, whoever is still there is on the playground rather than in the classrooms. Yet, your expression turns sour the closer you go towards your destination. There are strange whispers going around you, ones you can only hear the bits and pieces of.

(Uzumaki Naruto ― don't talk to him ― demon fox ― rage ― you can't play with him, you know that ― why'd he have to be in my kid's class? ― rotten child ― troublemaker ― good-for-nothing, unworthy ― if you piss him off, you'll...)

Hurrying your steps, you arrive in front of where the parents and their children seem to avoid a certain area. Under the shade of a tree, Naruto sits on a lone swing, and it appears people have noted your arrival.

(With him ― and Uchiha Obito, who... ― ever since the incident ― that girl, Rin ― deformed, the scar face ― depressed, lonely, friendless ― 'cause Uzumaki's bad luck, you know? ― from the fruit stand, right? ― why Obito, of all people? ― stranger ― came from who-knows-where)

You frown and raise your voice for all of them to hear. "Why are you weird bitches whispering like we can't hear you?"

Everyone stares at you, but you don't show any sign of backing down or even embarrassment, instead opting to shoo them off with a wave of your hand. They awkwardly scuttle away after that, save for the few kids whose parents are yet to pick them up.

Naruto startles at the sound of you yelling, or sounding mad for that matter. He doubts he can recall a moment he's ever seen you enraged, yet the same holds true for him. You know him as a kid who's carefree and full of energy, not someone who despairs on a swing as grown adults badmouth him. 

"Yo, Naruto," you start, trying to be casual. "I bought you some dango, and look, it's still intact."

"[Y/n], you should get away from here," he says, with uncharacteristic coldness lacing his tone. Not that you'll hold it against him. Looks like he's been having one or a couple dozen bad days.

"Hm? Why?" You persist in trying to wave the dango in front of his face. His serious and independent facade doesn't last long, because soon enough your offering tempts him and he chews while explaining, which you know is pretty gross.

"Because, if you hear what they say, you'll start ignoring me too."

"Well, I already heard them and I'm still here, so," you argue, then look at him with the friendliest smile you can muster. "To be honest, I don't know what these people are talking about, nor do I care. We're pals, aren't we?"

He doesn't respond, but you can hear a few sniffles coming from him. You pat him on the head, though you're stiff and unsure of whether this is working, but after a little you feel his hands wrap around your waist. Naruto shakes when he cries, and it breaks your heart. Perhaps if you could, you would've joined him. "Thank you."

Afraid you'll say something wrong, you stay silent until he seemingly calms down and rubs his eyes, trying to rid himself of the tears. There are strange things happening around here, and reality is creeping up on you. No matter how happy you'd be to turn your nose and pretend humans aren't suffering, you don't think you can.

"You're free to go home, right?" you ask.

"Yeah."

"Want me to get you ramen or something?"

"Yeah!" Out of nowhere, Naruto runs towards Ichiraku. 

You blink at the abrupt change in attitude, then follow him with an enthusiastic scream of your own.

Your zeal dies down soon enough as you see the amount of ramen bowls Naruto has accumulated. You're sure you could pay for all of it, since you don't use your money much anyway, but you wonder how he can be healthy after consuming that much in a day, being aware that he mooches off of his teacher Iruka and Obito as well.

To top it off, out of nowhere, a heavy downpour begins even though the weather was perfect moments before. You're sure the moment you two stick your feet past the awning, it won't take longer than a few seconds to turn you into wet clowns, which isn't an aesthetic you're going for.

You slide the money towards the Ichiraku guy as you try to think of what to do. Repelling the rain could look suspicious, but with the streets mostly empty with people taking shelter, you doubt it matters much.

"I'm gonna show you something cool," you say.

"Hm?" Naruto doesn't complain when you take his hand, he just lets you drag him around. He doesn't realize what's happening at first until he notes how the raindrops aren't falling on either of you. "Woah, you can do that? You're like a― um, like. Like a natural umbrella!"

"Thanks?"

"Y'know, I never came up with a nickname for you. You're Umbrella-san now."

"Curse me for doing something good for once in my life," you mutter under your breath as you walk toward his house. You were thinking of doing more things to cheer him up, but as it is, you don't want either of you to stay out in this weather. You're not sure for how long you can keep the telekinetic shield either.

Naruto laughs at your misery and you suppose that's good enough. You glance at him from the corner of your eyes, and you haven't noticed that you've been growing weary today until your thoughts spiral into something uncontrollable. A demon fox, a demon child, it sounds like some nonsense out of a boogeyman tale. Regardless, your disbelief aside, what could drive the residents of Konoha to say such horrible things?

Naruto's poor reputation is clinging onto Obito, though they were also mentioning other things. You don't care how you're affected by this in the grand scheme of things, yet you can’t sate your curiosity while only knowing so little. You feel like you're trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces.

The walk to the building where he lives is short enough. It's odd to think that someone so young would live by himself, too. No, Gaea isn't a nice place at all.

"You should stay over," he says.

"Well, I don't wanna walk in the rain, so." It's unlike you to deny anything, plus you imagine it's lonely for him. You tilt your head while he leads you up the stairs. "Is Obito coming later?"

"Yep," Naruto replies as he picks his ear. You can't see, but he's scrunching his nose in slight distaste. "He's been taking up more jobs lately."

"Oh, I didn't know that. I can leave when he comes, then?" you offer.

"No! Stay," Naruto insists. He takes out a key and you enter his small apartment. It resembles yours.

You're startled by his demand. It's not like you've never seen him act bossy before, it's just that he reserved this behavior towards more frivolous things such as troubling people's finances and so on, not your presence. It borders on sentimental, and you're not sure what to think of it. "I don't mi―"

"Umbrella-san," he begins, in seriousness. You scowl at the nickname but gesture for him to continue, and that you're listening. You're not prepared for his request, either. "Please don't give up on being friends with old man Obito, ok?"

You raise your eyebrows at this, but still smile and give him a thumbs up. Even if you don't know why he wants such a thing, you don't see any problem with indulging this promise. "Of course. I'm very stubborn."

Kakashi closes his book with a sigh once the rain starts, not wanting to damage it. He'd gotten to an excellent scene, too. Nevertheless, he cannot risk losing national treasure. His eye shifts towards Obito, who's been acting strange all day. It's uncomfortable to point out ― things have been stiff and unnatural between them, but despite this, the masked man bites the bullet. Ever-so-tactful, he points out, "You've been walking like you're holding in your shit."

"Me and [Y/n] made dango―"

"Ok, that's all I need to know," Kakashi interrupts, recalling your first interaction with him.

"What's that supposed to mean, huh?!" Obito stops in place, then crosses his arms with a childish pout, as if this whole transgression is some kind of terrible offense.

"That," he says, in his classic brand of boredom, "I can already see the bigger picture."

"Bakashi..."

"Grow up."

"Oh, don't mind if I do," Obito says, emphasizing the insignificant height difference between them with his fingers.

Kakashi pinches the bridge of his nose in response.

Chapter Text

Naruto comes up with some game where the two of you make what's the equivalent of an original character in the middle ages. He grants you a pair of scissors and instructs you to draw your character, then make a cutout of them, and your tools are nothing more than a torn piece of paper with weird stains on it and a black pencil. Sporting the same luxuries, Naruto shields his work away from you and gets to doodling.

You draw a creature that resembles your Xognunian lieutenant hoping Naruto would find amusement in his appearance, with an octopus-like head and military clothing. You rename him to Globglab the Annihilator of Everything Unholy, but Naruto scolds you since it's too long for his tastes. So then, you change it to Gtaoeu, which he doesn't know how to pronounce either, so you settle on just Globglab. Glob for short.

Naruto's character is, firstly, hard to discern, much like his auto-portrait on the shirt he gave you a while back. Without saying that, you examine his drawing as he explains to you he's the Hokage and therefore has Hokage powers, but you're not sure what that entails. Then, he tells you that his name is Boruto, which makes you snort. What makes it even funnier is the moment you realize he has concocted what could only be described as a president self-insert.

You're in the middle of duking out the eighth absurd match when you hear the doorknob jingle and twist. Naruto frowns, his head perking towards the door while Obito enters looking wet. You turn in his direction as well, accidentally dropping Globglab.

Sorry, soldier, you say in your head before you pick him up.

Obito shakes his head like some kind of dog and sprays water on the floor. Your eyes widen at the criminal activity that has played out in front of you. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh, you're here?" he says, irrelevantly.

You grace him with an impassive stare as if to say no shit.

He continues, "It's raining hard as shit outside." Then he proceeds to limp his way into a wet trail throughout the apartment. As if linked by telepathy, you and Naruto turn towards each other and shrug.

Noticing Obito's strange way of walking, you raise your eyebrows and stand up to follow him. "Does your diarrhea stomach still hurt?"

"Yes. The dango was lethal."

"Really? I feel fine," you say with a confused expression on your face. "And you should stop sloppying the floor."

"What was that word you just said?"

"Sloppying."

"That's― I mean, I guess." He opens the closet and you're terrified to find an endless supply of those jumpsuits Naruto always wears inside. You think he's about to grab one, and the mental image of him wearing it earns a suppressed giggle, but to your dismay, he doesn't. Obito then disappears to where you assume the bathroom is.

You examine the wet spots of misery he left in his wake and decide it won't do. Going for a primitive approach, you try wiping it with your foot, but it's gross and counterproductive. Naruto calls for you from where he's settled on his bed in a starfish position. "I have rags in the closet."

"Not gonna offer any help, huh?" 

"No."

"Well, fair enough," you concede as you return to the orange nightmare. There are a few rags sorted at the bottom left corner, and you take one to do the job as Obito's painstaking grunting resounds in the background. You wonder if you should've faked nausea as you give the door one last contemplative look before getting to work.

It's not that hard to wipe it dry with the use of your telekinesis. Naruto seems to take an interest in that power of yours. "You make chores look kinda cool."

"Pretty awesome if you say so yourself," you say with a dip of your head in his direction.

"You should teach me sometime," he requests with a big grin on his face. Oh, if he knew how to do these sorts of things, surely Sakura would think he's even cooler than that duck-butt Sasuke. And Iruka would let him graduate early. And, and―

Your only response to that is, "Hn." Straight out of Itachi's book, no matter how brief your conversation with him had been.

"What does that mean?!"

"It's a mystery," is all you have to offer as your best attempt at placating him.

Naruto pouts, but you don't waver, instead opting to finish drying this off to the best of your ability. A few minutes after you're done, Obito emerges, and your gaze lands on an... unpleasant sight. "Ew, Obito, your crusty toes."

"Don't toeshame," he scolds, which only makes your frown deeper. "Naruto, I'll take my wet stuff back tomorrow."

"'Kay," Naruto says with a wave of his hand, though deep down, he dreads smelling that in the bathroom later. Obito looked like he brought back a whole mud field with him.

It's come to your attention that aside from being sandal-less, he's wearing something much more casual than what you're used to. He ditched the uniform to dry somewhere among the abyss of Naruto's bathroom, now sporting a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants. As basic as it is, you're still surprised at his new attire.

Your eyes trail towards the scarred skin along his hand. You didn't know the damage he sustained in whatever way is so big. Catching your pensive stare, Obito immediately feels uncertainty and defensiveness. "What's your problem?"

You roll your eyes. That attitude again. "I have a problem?"

"You look, I don't know, judgemental."

"Nothing. I was just under the impression that the only clothes you own are that uniform, and you kind of shattered my immersion here," you explain with a huff.

"If you believe in adversaries, I believe in surprises," he jokes, snorting as he recalls your words from yesterday.

"Well ok, but I'll let you know my ideology is far more hardcore."

Obito raises his hands in surrender, clearly failing to disprove your retort; that's how you take the gesture at least. Then, he makes his way to the lone counter and you get the unsettling suspicion that he's contemplating cooking. Your fears prove correct when he rummages through the cabinet for something.

"I don't think that's a good idea," you say, taking the spot next to him.

"Don't worry, it's just heat-up ramen."

"Huh?! That's criminal," you exclaim, scandalized. "Plus, I bought him like, one-hundred bowls of ramen for lunch already."

Obito deadpans at your exaggeration, his hand frozen mid-air just to emphasize his skepticism. Then, remembering something crucial, he thinks to question you. "Hey, why are you even here?"

"Well, it all started when I woke up in the forest―"

"No need for that much exposition," he interrupts.

"Fast-forward a little or maybe a lot," you say, putting your index finger on your chin in fake thought and leaning your weight on your right leg. "I got Naruto dango and picked him up from school, but it was raining, so he told me to stay here and hang out with him, and then he made a Hokage character."

"This is all. Very interesting," Obito concludes, confused with the last part of that statement more than anything, and he sounds hesitant as he speaks. "Yo Naruto, are you up for showing me your Hokage?"

"I accidentally tore his head off," he says, sadness lacing his tone.

"Yikes," you comment with a grimace, looking up at the ceiling to take a moment to mourn Boruto.

"I know."

Obito glances in Naruto's direction. Then in yours. What the hell happened while I was arguing with Kakashi the entire day?

Ignoring your warning from earlier, given how there's nothing else to eat anyway, Obito dumps the ramen in a bowl and shoves it in the microwave. You make a face as you lean in to watch it spin around. "So, no takeout?"

"You realize if I bought something, it would've been 'sloppied,' as you put it, into 'weird slop', as you also put it," Obito points out.

"Right." You narrow your eyes at his redundant explanation, but you can find some humor in it, at least. Many questions start brewing in your mind. For example, is ramen all Naruto eats, and if so, is he bloated all the time much like Obito had been after the tasteless dango?

Eventually, all three of you end up with bowls of that shitty ramen in your hands, and you frown when you realize you have nowhere to take a seat. The counter should do, you figure, before plopping yourself on top of it.

"How's school?" Obito asks, almost absent-minded in his question. He knows nothing great will follow that question, but Naruto, with his optimistic nature, always has something funny to tell.

"I don't know how to do that thing we're learning to do," the boy complains with a frown, scratching his head.

"Hm?" Obito has been trying to teach him ninjutsu, but Naruto doesn't seem to keep information very well. For now, anyway.

"The transformation jutsu."

"Oh!" you exclaim. Despite the gross slurping of your ramen, you're admittedly intrigued by what this entails. "Can you turn into me?!"

Naruto strains really hard for a moment, until a poof of smoke appears, revealing you but... wonky. You raise your eyebrows. "No, that's not right."

Obito blinks and frowns. "Dude, you transformed into a straight-up zombie."

"Yeah, you made me look malnourished," you critique.

"And you didn't change your height."

"You guys are haters," wonky-You says before reverting to Naruto, and he goes back to his meal with distaste.

"It's ok if you're not great at it," Obito assures with a shrug. "I was pretty trash in the Academy, too."

"Are you saying I'm trash?!" 

"No, no, chill." He tries to placate Naruto with a wave of his hand, but it doesn't work. The boy's scowl only worsens at that remark, and Obito isn't sure how to salvage the situation.

Your mind wanders off to what this shinobi school entails once more. They teach them how to transform into people. This much is obvious by now, but you know that as well. There are many similarities between the Xognunian and Gaean society, and yet things appear much different.

Glancing at Obito, then at Naruto, you come to two very simple and even obvious conclusions. Obito is already a ninja, and Naruto is going to become one. Yet, the question lingers ― how often do people die like this, and what would you do if someone you were acquainted with became a victim to this line of work?

You shake your head and try to disregard the thought.

It occurs to you that there's not enough space for more than one person to sleep in Naruto's apartment when Obito is heading out the door to leave. You're looming behind him a little ― I don't need you guys watching over me while I sleep like creeps, he insisted before kicking you out ― but even if without his demands, the ordeal wouldn't have been possible, anyway.

Once he's out of earshot, Obito comments, "If I had it my way, I'd just let him live with me, but there's not enough space there either."

"Did you know the people around town― I mean, the village, say really mean things about him?" you ask, and the way you word your question is immature. You don't mention the things you've heard them say about him either, afraid that'd be rubbing salt in the wound.

"Yeah," he says, his voice trailing off as you presume he's upset about the ordeal. "There's not anything to do about it."

"They called him a demon child. What does that mean?"

Your lack of beating around the bush takes Obito by surprise, but he should expect your straightforwardness by now. He scratches his head with a sigh before offering a curt explanation. "I guess you’d find out, eventually. Naruto is Konoha's jinchuuriki."

You've heard the residents throw that word around before, yet you're not sure what it means. You're tempted to ask why that'd require for him to be ostracized, but you think it's better to just under-react instead. "Oh, ok."

"You don't know what that is, do you?" Obito asks as he narrows his eye at you.

You grin a big dumb smile and turn towards him. "Nope!"

He mutters something about you being strange, whatever that means, before you two arrive in front of the entrance. Peeking out from the window, the continuing downpour distracts him from whatever trail of thought he had. "I can't believe I changed into dry clothes just to get drenched again."

"I can help."

"How? You don't have an umbrella," he points out skeptically.

"You just have to hold my hand."

"Are you kidding or something?" With a brief laugh, Obito turns to glance at you again, but you don't show any signs of joking. Apart from looking too happy with yourself, the way you're almost shoving your hand in his face tells him you're serious. "Well, it probably doesn't hurt to try," he concedes.

You lower your hand and he averts his eye again, turning strangely bashful. At a snail's pace, he reaches out to you and you feel your smile slipping as the seconds pass by until it settles into a thin line. It's not that you're in a rush or anything, but you're getting impatient.

His skin is warm and rough against yours, perhaps almost to the point of concern. "You ok? You're freezing."

"No, it's cool," you answer with a slight grimace. Why are humans so warm? It's weird. You hadn't entertained the thought when you were helping Naruto, but now it's almost too obvious that your anthropomorphic form still differs from those around you. "Come on, off we go."

"If you say so."

When the two of you finally step onto the exposed street, Obito is shocked to find that the rain isn't touching either of you at all. It's like something is repelling it? It's clear that this is your doing, but he's not sure how you're achieving it.

"How'd you learn to do these things?" 

"Hm? Dunno, I just know how to do them," you explain, offering him a thumbs up with your free hand, then you pray he won't question it.

On instinct, out of nervousness, you tighten your hold on to his hand as he leads you down the block. Obito flushes again, your simple action making him forget whatever other questions he had towards you as he looks at the ground with a wannabe neutral expression. Certainly, you're suspicious, but even more so, you're distracting.

Realizing what you've done, you let loose again, trying to be mindful of his scarring. "Oh, whoops. I hope that didn't hurt."

"I'm fine. Sometimes I get ghost pains, but that's about it." To be fair, he's underestimating it, but it's not like he's down to go on a lengthy explanation about his emotional damages or how severe the pains can be.

You perk up and begin swinging both your hands back and forth. "That's a relief."

There are many things that go through his mind at this moment, but he doesn't want to taint it with his pessimism. He always wonders how none of this is embarrassing to you, even if no one is around to see.

You didn't imagine Obito would live so close to Naruto, though now that you think about it, that'd be an obvious conclusion. Your walk with him was no longer than five minutes. With the two of you dry and safe, you let him go when he's under the awning and prepare to go back, but you're stopped.

"Uh, well, y'know, you could stay at my place," he offers.

You grin in surprise at his unusual initiative. However, the moment doesn't last for long; before you can even respond, Obito has made it his mission to ruin everything with an incomprehensible ramble.

"As thanks for destroying the rule of physics and keeping us dry. And looking after Naruto. And letting me clog up your toilet yesterday. And stuff." He's staring somewhere away from you again, deflating with each second of his speech.

You shrug. "Well, you kinda ruined our moment here, but I accept."

"Cool."

"Oh my god Obito, you can be so lame," you scold.

"What? What'd I do?" he fires back, incredulous. "I'm just trying to be nice!"

You close your eyes as you lecture him, which is probably not a smart idea considering that you're following him up the stairs. Regardless, no casualties happen because of this. "So what if we're grown adults in our twenties having a sleepover? We already had one. Be a man, take it like a man. Don't get embarrassed over it."

"I don't even― No, you know what? Never mind," he says with a wave of his hand. Better not question where that spiel came from.

"My point still stands."

"You made no points."

"I did!"

"Ok fine, maybe you did," he admits, more so to make you drop it than anything else. He opens the door and welcomes you. "This is my home, ta-da."

You two both take your shoes off once again before you can get the chance to look around. Much like Naruto's, his place of residence is small, perhaps even more so than yours. The rain appears to still be going strong and you're even more befuddled with this volatile weather, considering all the days beforehand had been sunny and hot. 

Remembering Itachi mentioned an Uchiha estate, you wonder why he doesn't live there, but asking about it would be rude. Not that you're above rudeness, of course ― however, you'd prefer to avoid doing it to someone within their living quarters.

Then, you spot something interesting. "You have a balcony. That's pretty epic."

"Hm. All the apartments in this building do." He brushes your comment off with a shrug and switches the light on.

You gasp. "No, turn it back off."

"What? Why?"

"It's atmospheric," you explain, padding your way across the floor and towards the balcony instead, almost resembling some kind of curious feline in the way you examine his furniture.

"Uh, ok," he agrees without putting much thought into it. Your gaze lingers on a frame placed on a nightstand. "Now that I think about it, you kept all the lights off in your apartment, too. I hear that's bad for your eyesight."

"Hey, I didn't know you and Kakashi have known each other since you were little," you say as you lean down to examine the photo. Obito looked cheerful as a kid.

"Yes, we were on a team together. See, in the photo he's taller than me, but then I grew up to be a centimeter taller than him. Crazy how life goes."

Your face blanks at his brag as you throw a disappointed expression his way for his pettiness. He just mentally gives his thanks to whatever deity is out here that you didn't ask him about the identities of the other two people in the picture.

Choosing to disregard this interaction, you twist the balcony's doorknob and take a peek outside. You lean your weight against the railing somewhat, aiming to get a better view, the incessant tapping of raindrops hitting the awning serving as background noise.

You hear Obito hum, but it sounds close, and you turn around to find him joining you. He appears confused, so you take this as a cue to explain.

"I think the village is pretty from up here," you say as you frame it with your fingers, capturing the darkness surrounding the many buildings and the gentle glow of the moon acting as a light source. "But the view from my window isn't this good. Not to mention, you live on a higher floor."

"Oh."

You scowl at him and cross your arms. "Try to sound at least a bit impressed."

"Well, sorry my pants weren't appropriately blown off in amazement, but I look at it every night, so I can't fake it."

"Killjoy," you mutter under your breath before extending your hand slightly to watch the rain glide off your skin. The sensation is strange as well. It never really rained back on Xognuna. "I think the sight is alluring."

Obito glances at you, opting to ignore your specific way of phrasing things, with the moon illuminating your profile as you observe the droplets. Unconsciously, a weak smile tugs at his lips. He doesn't know anyone who's as carefree as you ― even Gai, in all of his obnoxious glory and youth, doesn't possess this kind of almost foreign attitude. "Yeah, actually, I changed my mind. Pretty alluring view from here."

You raise your eyebrow at his change of heart and catch his dumb stare in your direction. Then, you laugh. "You're so corny."

"In my defense," he mumbles before he breaks your mutual gaze for the nth time and stiffens his posture, "the way it went in my head, you didn't catch me gaping."

"It's ok. I think it's cute."

You give him one of your close-eyed smiles as you say that. He finds it heartwarming, but he also frowns and retreats inside the apartment. "Anyway, it's kinda cold out so I'm going back in, and I have to sleep early 'cause I have a job in the morning, so I'll knock myself out."

"That's fine. I guess we have nothing to do, anyway. Being a grown-up is no fun, after all," you concede as you go inside as well. The picture catches your attention again, but you try not to stare at it for too long. If you have any particular thoughts about it, you certainly don't voice them.

He snorts at your obvious observation, which makes you puff your cheeks at him in mock defiance.

"You can have my bed," he says.

"What? No," you argue in a very convincing manner. "'Sides, I'm wearing my dirty clothes from today. I'm pretty sure you don't want that."

"But you're my guest," Obito points out, as if that means anything. "If you want to something different... I guess one of mine will do?" he says, albeit unsurely, before pointing towards his closet, which is identical to Naruto's in both appearance and position.

You wave your index finger at him, remembering what he told you about his ghost pains earlier. "I'm not letting you sleep on a couch or the floor or something!"

"Well, I'm not letting you do that either," he says with a strange amount of determination, putting his hands on his hips.

The two of you glare at each other for a few seconds, but you get bored with that soon enough and place your index finger on your lower lip as you think of a solution instead. "I'm sure we could both fit on it."

"Huh?"

"I mean, yeah it's cliche, but what can you do?" you justify. "Otherwise, we'll just be stuck pulling faces at each other in the dark like creeps all night."

Another moment of silence passes while Obito tries to make sense of your proposition. "I mean, when you put it that way, it just sounds weird."

"Right?"

He doesn't appear to have any more objections, though if it were up to him, he'd just sleep on the tiny couch. Obito had been on and off sleeping while sitting in your toilet the other night, so this topic wasn't a problem. Finding that satisfactory enough, you shuffle towards his closet and start taking your pick. "Let's see, we have a grey t-shirt, a grey t-shirt, black sweatpants, a white t-shirt, a grey t-shirt, and more black sweatpants. Honestly, I don't know what I'll pick."

"Hey, I wasn't asking you for fashion advice." He pouts. You stick your tongue at him and grab the first two items of clothing you see. "Keep up that attitude and I'll make you sleep on the floor for real."

"Oh, okay―"

"I was just kidding, so don't even think about it," he deadpans. Obito then intends to go on his merry way to the bathroom and brush his teeth until he notices you're in the process of taking your shirt off right then and there. His eye widens. "Wh― Don't just change in front of me!" He covers his face and stumbles his way through and all but runs away from you.

You drop the material in your hands and it flutters down to hug your form again, and tilt your head as you look at where he had been standing. Oh no. What if doing that is offensive in human culture?! What if he's mad at me? But, well, he's not here anymore, so I might as well change, anyway... 

"I'm sorry? Forgive me," you yell at the bathroom door in a begging, whiny tone and, disregarding the circumstances, that's a funny thing to do.

He convinced himself you just went too far with your teasing this time, but now you sound more confused than anything. Obito does not know what your deal is, in all honesty.

With no further commentary, he comes back to you sitting on the edge of his bed. He already knew you'd be wearing his clothes, and even if the outfit is beyond underwhelming in terms of stylishness, the sight still catches him off-guard. You're just cute. That's all there is to it.

"Good night," you tell him once the two of you settle in. It's less than awkward than you imagined it'd be, with enough space between the two of you. 

"Sleep tight and whatnot," is his nonchalant answer, which makes you chuckle.

You lie on your back and stare at the ceiling, not used to sleeping much and finding it hard to do. You could pretend and close your eyes, but with his back turned on you, he's probably none the wiser on that matter.

It's almost an hour into the night when Obito confirms your theory that he thinks you fell asleep. You hear a tiny noise that suspiciously sounds like a sniffle, and your eyes shift in his direction. With the curtains closed, the light is minimal, yet you can make out the shaking of his silhouette.

He's... crying? You think this is what you've read crying being described as, but he also seems to stifle it to either hide it or merely not wake you. Still, you can't discern any reason for him to be doing that.

Many things had run through Obito's head the moment he laid down, and it was all connected to this bond that has been developing between the two of you. He won't claim he knows or understands your intentions, but right now, you're here in his room, next to him, wearing his clothes. The intimacy ― even with its innocent nature ― is too much to handle.

He thinks of the picture again, and the moment you found it. Having spent many days to the point of burning it inside his mind, he could point out mundane details about it from memory. Rin's face, her positivity and her infectious smile, your own being reminiscent of that.

Rin, who suffered a terrible death at the hands of the shinobi climate and he watched it happen and didn't do a single thing about it. He's still here, but she's not, and she's never going to come back. It's always a sour feeling, and it overwhelms him with guilt.

Despite your capabilities and eclectic nature, in the end, you're only a civilian. You can take care of yourself, he's sure, yet you're also more oblivious and clueless than most people he meets. He shouldn't taint that with his baggage ― he already knows people make fun of you for hanging around him, and it's unfair how the stigma appears to be rubbing off on you, too.

You interrupt his train of thought with an uncharacteristically quiet mutter. "What's wrong? You're crying," you say, somewhat panicked. He hears a shift on the sheet as you move closer towards him, sitting up and looming over him in confusion.

Feeling too powerless to, he doesn't answer your question, and instead focuses on ceasing these theatrics. He probably woke you up, or so he thinks.

This differs from the situation with Naruto, though, and your chest is tight with anxiety when you realize you don't know what to do. When Naruto was upset, you at least knew why, but right now the cause of this is something you can't deduce. You're honestly not qualified to deal with situations like these. "Do you want a hug?"

Obito doesn't think when he responds. "I don't deserve that."

His answer takes you aback as you blink and come even closer, trying to take a peek at his face. Why'd he say something like that? Even if it's not much of a statement, you can't help but note the gloom that comes with the weight it carries. 

"Don't say that, that's terrible," you trail off, but you don't move to touch him. 

You watch him, unsure of what to do, until his bawling passes.

"Sorry, I even woke you up," Obito says, though it's more of a croak. You get the impression he's about to burst into tears again, though. He's in slight disbelief that he had to disturb you on account of being pathetic, but the waterworks were uncontrollable when they started despite his best efforts.

"That doesn't matter." You weren't even asleep to begin with, anyway. "What's wrong?"

You sigh when he doesn't answer again, and try to stroke his hair with languorous motions. Figuring it's okay to continue as he doesn't oppose you and he appears to be calming down again, you continue. It takes a while until he drifts off to sleep.

Trying to make out his expression in the darkness again, you take one last glance at him. People on Gaea suffer so much. The picture isn't full for you, yet. Regardless, you move back towards your designated edge of the bed with that last thought.