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‘So here’s the thing,’ Tony announced one day as he walked into the library where Charles was sitting, making his declaration with all the determination and self-belief of a fervent toddler. ‘I think that I should be a super-villain.’
‘That’s nice, dear,’ Charles said absently. He did not looking up from his reading.
Tony beamed. ‘I’m glad you think so,’ he said with a gracious nod. ‘Your approval means a lot to me.’
Charles made a vague humming sound in response.
Tony waited a moment for Charles to expand on that but, being only human – and, well, Tony – his resolve to be cool and collected quickly evaporated. ‘But seriously Charles–’ he said, leaning forward eagerly. ‘Just think about it. Really think about it. Or – well, actually, don’t do that. Just – just appreciate the magnificence without actually thinking about it, okay? I mean, this is a genuinely brilliant idea – I would be an awesome super-villain. In fact,’ Tony’s expression was deadly serious. ‘I think that I can quite honestly say that I could be the best damn super-villain there ever was. What do you think about that, huh?’
Charles reluctantly looked up from the book he was reading. ‘I think …’ he said slowly. ‘I think that …’ He paused, frowning. ‘... Why do you want to do this again?’
‘Why wouldn’t I want to do this?’ Tony said at once, sounding gleeful. ‘I mean, come on – how else would I be able to reach my full potential as a super-rich genius full of extraordinary talent and handsomeness?’
‘I don’t know,’ Charles said sweetly. ‘Maybe by turning your talents to – I don’t know – curing cancer instead?’
Tony let out a snort and waved his hand dismissively. ‘Boring,’ he said, causing Charles to frown. ‘I mean – don’t get me wrong, Charles, that would be awesome, and I’ll totally open up a new division of Stark Industries to get on that right away, absolutely, but – come on – do you really see me stuck in a lab with a Petri dish all day long?’ He shook his head. ‘Sorry, sweetheart – but that’s more your area than mine.’
Charles’s eyebrow rose at that. ‘What,’ he said dryly, turning to face Tony fully. ‘I can’t be a super-villain like you?’
Tony blinked and worked his jaw soundlessly for a few minutes. ‘Well,’ he said at last, choosing his words carefully. ‘You could. I mean – if you wanted to. Do you want to? Because you absolutely could if you wanted. I just thought … well. You don’t really have the right …’
‘The right what?’ Charles asked, his tone light and pleasant. ‘The right qualifications? Because it just so happens that I, like you, am also a … what did you call it? A “super-rich genius full of extraordinary talent and handsomeness” – that was it, yes? And apparently those are all the credentials I need.’
‘Well,’ Tony said doubtfully. ‘That’s not exactly what I-’
‘Because I think I’d make an excellent super-villain,’ Charles mused, leaning back in his chair thoughtfully and sounding as if he was genuinely considering the idea. ‘No, really, think about it. Imagine what havoc a villainous evil telepath could wreak …’
‘Yeah, but you—’
‘I wouldn’t even have to do very much,’ Charles said dreamily, with a rather disconcerting gleam in his eyes. ‘All I would have to do is raise my fingers to my forehead – for style purposes, you understand, not because I actually need to – and then everyone would bow down and—’
‘Uh—’
‘And the beauty of it is, they wouldn’t even know—’
‘Okay, okay, I get it,’ Tony said loudly, holding up his hands and grimacing. ‘You made your point. I get it.’
‘You do?’ Charles raised an eyebrow.
‘Yeah.’ Tony sighed melancholically, his expression wistful. ‘Out of the two of us, you’re the one that would make the better super-villain.’
Charles blinked. ‘No, that’s … Tony, that is not the point.’
‘Okay, it’s not,’ Tony admitted, ‘but that doesn’t mean that it’s not totally relevant. Also, can you just take a moment and imagine the amazingness that would be the two of us as super-villains?’ Tony’s expression was once again filled with glee. ‘We would be unstoppable. Charles – we could totally take over the world together!’
‘I didn’t know that megalomania was part of your charms, darling,’ Charles said dryly. He then smirked. ‘And, pray tell me, why exactly would I need you to help me take over the world? I think I could manage that quite easily by myself, thanks.’
‘And you talk to me about megalomania,’ Tony muttered, causing Charles’s smirk to widen.
There was a brief pause.
‘So do you want to take over the world together?’ Tony asked hopefully.
Charles shook his head. ‘Nope.’
Tony considered this for a moment. ‘Do you want to take over the world by yourself?’
‘Hmm … not really.’
There was another pause.
Tony shuffled his feet. ‘So I take it you’re against the whole super-villain idea, then,’ he said with a rueful sigh.
Charles turned to Tony with an arched eyebrow. ‘Well now,’ he murmured. ‘How about that. You really are a genius.’
‘Sometimes I wonder,’ Tony muttered under his breath.
Charles grinned. ‘So do I, love,’ he said. ‘So do I.’