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Shirai Kuroko is Misaka Mikoto's dumb underclassman, wonderful underclassman. Throughout middle school, high school, college, she will always be this.
Even though Mikoto has never said this aloud, she believes in this fact through and through, from beginning to end. She has never once doubted it.
But reality doesn't seem ready to give her what she wants.
The lights of the dorm room are on, and a cool breeze steadily blows into the room through the half-open window. Kuroko is wearing her hair loose, water drops splashing from the slightly curled tresses of her hair onto her seat. The glare of the computer before her is reflected in Kuroko's eyes, and behind her on her bed, Mikoto is lying in her usual childish Gekota pajamas thinking about who knows what.
It’s just like the once upon a time ordinary kind of night that they’ve already experienced countless times.
That is, until the tapping of the keyboard suddenly stops, and Kuroko’s eyes move away from the computer screen. But she doesn’t turn around, only softly speaks.
“Onee-sama, Kuroko I.... I may have to leave Academy City.”
The wind carries Kuroko's words into Mikoto's ears with full clarity, and Mikoto is stunned for a while.
"Leave?" as if Mikoto could have missed what Kuroko has just said.
Kuroko turns around, meets Mikoto's incredulous gaze, and nods, "Yes, leave Academy City."
Mikoto follows up on Kuroko's reply by asking, "Why? How come so suddenly..."
Kuroko doesn’t immediately answer Mikoto. She averts her eyes and seems to smile a bit bitterly.
A guess pops up in Mikoto's mind.
“Family reasons?”
As expected, Kuroko nods. “Although my father and mother have been trying their best to hide it from me, not wanting me to worry, but now that that kind of thing has happened, it's really not possible for me not to go back."
"’That kind of thing’?"
Kuroko stands up, blinks at Mikoto, and turns the lights off. "It’s a secret~ Although it makes Kuroko very happy that Onee-sama cares about her, this matter really isn’t anything to worry about. It's late, Onee-sama, go to sleep."
In the darkened room, the two of them aren’t physically far apart. Through the faint moonlight streaming in from the window, Misaka Mikoto can make out Shirai Kuroko lying with her back towards her.
Kuroko didn't want to tell her about this matter—the two of them have been friends and roommates for so many years now, how could Mikoto not understand the meaning behind Kuroko’s behavior? If it was in the past, Mikoto might have chosen to respect Kuroko’s decision and stopped here, but...
Why does something make her feel uneasy?
Mikoto purses her lips. Eventually, she breaks the silence with a relaxed tone. "I'm not worried, you'll be back after things are settled anyway, so what's there to worry about?"
Based on Mikoto's past experience, if she says something like this, Kuroko should fixate on the words "I’m not worried" and work herself into a pouting frenzy.
But Kuroko does not do this, she does not answer, she lets the silence in the space between them ferment, diffuse.
Mikoto furrows her eyebrows. She stares at the shape of Kuroko's back on the opposite bed. "Kuroko?"
Kuroko seems finally to hear Mikoto's words and gently responds. "Mm, you don’t have to worry.”
Although she feels Kuroko's reaction is somewhat strange, having gotten an affirmative answer, Mikoto nevertheless relaxes. With the taut thread inside of her loosening, drowsiness sneaks in, and she turns over. Before falling asleep, she doesn’t forget to mutter a reminder to Kuroko. "Come back soon, otherwise I might not be able to control myself around all those alleyway thugs…”
The sound of Mikoto's breathing eventually evens out. Kuroko gently rolls over, and afraid to wake up Mikoto, she doesn’t dare climb out of bed and get close. Only by borrowing the moonlight is she able to carefully trace out the other person’s figure.
It’s not until the clouds block the sky and the faint moonlight disappears that Kuroko curves the corners of her mouth, her smile very reluctant.
"Good night."
The date of departure is two days later, and in those two days Mikoto is somewhat difficult with Kuroko because she was the last person to learn that she was leaving. But being angry belongs to being angry, its own category, and of course she still has to go to the airport to see Kuroko off. Perhaps more precisely, she is forcibly dragged there by Uiharu Kazari and Saten Ruiko.
Before boarding the plane, Kuroko goes to hug the friends that came with her one by one. At last when it is Mikoto’s turn, Kuroko notices Mikoto’s obvious air of still fuming with anger, her general disagreeable manner, and can’t help but smile: "Ah ah ah, I know that Onee-sama is going to miss Kuroko. You see, Kuroko is also going to miss Onee-sama.”
Not waiting for Mikoto’s retort, Kuroko steps up and embraces her. Her voice low and pressed beside Mikoto's ear, she says, "If Onee-sama wants Kuroko to stay, then Kuroko won’t go.”
Mikoto is frozen for a second by Kuroko's tone of voice, but she quickly reacts. The tips of her ears turn red and in an instance she’s pulled away from Kuroko. “Who, who’s going to miss you! Don’t you have to board the plane, come on, get out of here already!”
Go, go quickly and come back just as quickly, so then it really won’t be a big deal… Misaka Mikoto whispers these words in her heart, too embarrassed to say them aloud. She doesn’t notice Shirai Kuroko’s self-deprecating smile after hearing what she’s said.
“That’s right, then, I’m leaving. Onee-sama, goodbye.” Leaving behind such a sentence, Kuroko walks through the gate without a second glance backwards.
Yet again ‘goodbye’.
Mikoto furrows her eyebrows, Kuroko’s last words reminding her of something unpleasant that happened in the past. She raises her head and looks up at Kuroko's back as she walks further and further away, unable to figure out the reason why she feels so irritated.
As she leaves the airport with Saten and Uiharu, Mikoto can’t help but gripe to her friends. "Really, she’s going to be back soon anyway, so why do we have to make the farewell so solemn and serious, it’s not like we'll never see her again..."
As she speaks, Misaka Mikoto suddenly has some kind of odd feeling. She self-consciously stops talking and turns to look at the sky. Behind her, a plane is just starting to take off, flying off toward some far away, distant place.
If you don't come back soon, I'll have to carry out your sense of justice for you and steal your job, idiot.
Thinking this, Mikoto doesn’t notice the two friends standing beside her, their subtle expressions of wanting to yet not saying anything.
The days pass one by one. From time to time, Misaka Mikoto will send a message asking after Shirai Kuroko’s situation, but Kuroko always seems to be very busy, and rarely replies, if at all, often only with a short sentence or a couple of words. The content of her replies sum up to about "Everything is fine over here” "Onee-sama doesn’t need to worry" and other comforting platitudes, never mentioning once about how much of her situation has been resolved nor when she plans to return to Academy City.
So strange.
Mikoto taps on the table in annoyance, going over and over again the messages that Kuroko has sent to her over the past month.
Kuroko can’t be unaware of what I’m asking about, but she keeps avoiding talking about it and using irrelevant words to stall me. Usually she’ll at least complain to me about one small thing or another, but this time, no matter what, she refuses to say anything.
It can’t be…
From Misaka Mikoto's heart bubbles up a guess that you could definitively call ‘terrible’, but she quickly shakes her head, rejecting it.
No, Kuroko wouldn't lie to me, Kuroko said that night that she would come back, she...
"Mm, you don’t have to worry.”
"If Onee-sama wants Kuroko to stay, then Kuroko won’t go.”
“Onee-sama, goodbye.”
再见.
Goodbye.
再也不见.
We’ll never see each other again.
Her tapping on the table screeches to a halt, and the disbelief in her eyes gradually expands. Mikoto's lips thin. Her hands clench into fists and tremble from excessive force.
Recalling one sentence at a time the words Kuroko had used, Mikoto finally understands exactly where the lingering feeling of “something’s not right” at the bottom of her heart is coming from.
Kuroko didn’t lie to Mikoto. From the beginning to the end, she had only been telling the truth. Only, she had been using one truth to hide another.
“Bastard… From the start, you were already planning on never coming back?!”
The second day, a certain family restaurant.
"Misaka-san? What's going on? Why’d you suddenly call me and Uiharu here?" Saten looks at Mikoto, who is sitting with her head bowed not saying a single word, and considering the fact that she’s already feeling a bit guilty because of a certain something, she speaks in a more or less cautious tone.
Mikoto remains silent, not answering Saten.
Ah what’s going on Saten-san? Uiharu Kazari is somewhat restless, and also because of Misaka Mikoto’s depressed mood, too afraid to open her mouth and speak. She can only exchange glances with Saten Ruiko.
I don’t know! Saten with the same manner of restless expression in her eyes replies to Uiharu.
It can't be that Shirai-san's situation was exposed, right? Uiharu manages to get across this meaning in her eyes in mysterious way that Author-kun can’t possibly explain.
No way? Saten manages to receive her best friend’s words through her eyes in a similarly mysterious way that Author-kun also doesn’t know how to explain.
“Saten, Uiharu.” Misaka Mikoto suddenly opens her mouth.
Saten Ruiko and Uiharu Kazari start. Subconsciously they straighten in their seats, speaking in unison: “Yes!”
Mikoto seems oblivious to the unnaturalness of her friend's actions, and the fine tea-colored hair resting on her forehead casts a shadow, concealing her expression tightly.
"You guys know, don't you, that Kuroko isn’t coming back." Almost gritting her teeth in order to say this as a statement she is sure of without using an interrogative tone, Mikoto finally raises her head and looks straight at her two friends. Her bloodshot eyes and the thick, frighteningly dark circles under them speak volumes about her lack of sleep.
Misaka Mikoto really did not sleep well last night, or to put it more accurately, she didn’t sleep at all. After realizing that Shirai Kuroko had not told her the truth, Mikoto was ready to go out there and find Kuroko and confront her face to face, but in the end, she couldn’t. Compared to barging in front of Kuroko without knowing anything, she preferred to figure out exactly what happened beforehand and why she wanted to behave like this, and then when she would finally go out out and find Kuroko, she would slowly, slowly , settle, the, score.
Which is why there is now this scene.
We can't help it, Misaka-san is so perceptive. Sure enough, we aren't able to hide this kind of thing from her after all, Shirai-san.
Saten Ruiko and Uiharu Kazari both look at each other and sigh in unison. Then Saten Ruiko pushes a glass of lemonade on the table toward Misaka Mikoto, saying, “Yes, we know.”
“Why?”
“Misaka-san is aware, right, that Shirai-san's family runs a company which owns many convenience stores and import supermarkets, White Spring Holdings?”
“Yes.”
“White Spring Holdings is currently experiencing a serious rupture in its financial supply chain.”
Mikoto is shocked. She leans forward with her hands pressed flat on the table. "How can that be? I've looked into White Spring Holdings, don’t the reports clearly say that everything is going well?”
Saten shakes her head. She says, “Misaka-san, what company would want the outside world to know that their financial health is in trouble?”
Mikoto slowly sits back. "Fine... so Kuroko's parents have been trying to conceal this matter from everyone this whole time... but if even Kuroko has learned of it, then that must mean that it’s something that really can’t be hidden any longer… And so, if that’s the situation, wouldn’t it be better for Kuroko to remain in Academy City?”
Saten with some unhappiness corrects her. “Because if Shirai-san goes back, then about this matter… there is a way for them to solve the problem.”
Mikoto understands almost immediately what Saten is trying to get at. Her chest tightens, her expression sombers to the point as if water was going to start seeping out one drop at a time.
“A business alliance through marriage?”
“...Yes.”
Receiving this affirmative reply, Mikoto finally can’t help it. Her hands clench into fists and slam fiercely on the table. The thread of reason in her heart is getting squeezed by a mix of swirling emotions—crushed, abraded—and she lets out an overwhelmed moan.
This kind of thing, why did you hide it from me, why did you go off on your own to try and solve it, why…
Being deceived, having the wool pulled over her eyes, but more importantly…
Mikoto slowly stands up—
“I’m going to bring her back.”
Uiharu, who up until this moment was sitting silently to the side, upon seeing Mikoto in such an obvious irrational state, speaks up to stop her. "Misaka-san! Calm down!"
"How can I be calm?! Why should Kuroko be responsible for the mistakes made by those adults? How can you guys just stand by and watch her become a tool to sustain a so-called business empire and not do anything about it?" Mikoto almost roars.
“How can we also not be moved?! We also want to help Shirai-san! But, but this decision, it’s, Shirai-san made it herself... no one asked her to do it..." Being questioned by Mikoto like this, Uiharu starts to get emotional. Just talking about it—feeling upset, wronged, sad, helpless—all these different emotions come together to jerk her heart, and Uiharu’s voice begins to choke up, "We also want Shirai-san to come back, but, but…”
“It was Kuroko’s own decision…” Mikoto has a lapse in her concentration. “That idiot…”
Saten takes hold of Uiharu and whispers comfortingly. She thinks about how to say what she wants to say for a while, then turns her head to look seriously at Mikoto—
“Misaka-san being angry about this situation, I can understand, because Uiharu and I are also very angry, very sad, and worried that Shirai-san will have to spend the rest of her life with someone who isn't right for her, or even loves her at all, because of it. We also want to be more headstrong and selfish, we want to make her stay so that she can have the freedom to choose who she wants to be with instead of being forced to compromise with herself. But we can't do that. Because this is Shirai-san's family matter, this is a choice Shirai-san made, Shirai-san chose to settle it this way on her own, and as friends, all we can do is give her advice, respect the decision she made, and give her our best wishes. Misaka-san, before you decide what you’re going to do, please think it through clearly. If you’re going to stop Shirai-san, from what standpoint are you going to do it from, for what reason? As upperclassman and underclassman? As friends? As best friends? Do you really think that kind of reasoning will be able to convince Shirai-san, that it will bring Shirai-san back to Academy City, that it will bring back your normal, peaceful life from before?"
Finished speaking, Saten Ruiko takes a look at those eyes full of bewilderment and confusion, Misaka Mikoto has fallen silent and taken her seat once more. Then, she looks over at Uiharu Kazari who is crying fiercely by her side, and lets out a long internal sigh full of resignation.
Shirai-san, if this time you do come back, you’ll have to properly thank me...
As Saten Ruiko pulls Uiharu Kazari up in preparation to leave, she sees Misaka Mikoto still tightly gripping the drink in her hand even though it has long since lost its coldness, frowning and sitting as if in a daze. Saten Ruiko shakes her head helplessly and decides she might as well sell Shirai Kuroko out completely. “Her specific situation Shirai-san also didn’t tell us in much detail, except two days ago, she said in a message, it seems… they’ve already started planning the engagement ceremony.”
Mikoto’s heart jolts. She doesn’t make a sound, only grips the drink in her hand even more tightly.
Mikoto is unable to finish thinking things through in that family restaurant.
After returning to her dorm room, she sits on Kuroko’s bed. A slight smell of dust lingers at the tip of her nose, a silent suggestion that the owner of the bed has not returned for some time. Mikoto smooths out the folds in the sheets with her hands. It’s a gesture without much meaning, done only to calm herself.
Saten’s words utterly block out all of Misaka Mikoto’s possible excuses and retreats, forcing her to have nowhere to escape to in order to avoid investigating the source of the weird emotions she’s been experiencing since Kuroko left, the same source these past few years that she has always been reluctant to think deeply about.
Why did I want Kuroko to stay in Academy City? Why did I take it for granted that Kuroko would always be with me? Why did I panic when I realized that Kuroko might not be coming back? Why did I get... sad and angry when I learned that Kuroko might be with someone else?
Do I really… not know my own feelings? About myself and Kuroko…
Is it really only something between upperclassman and underclassman?
Misaka Mikoto thinks of how Shirai Kuroko always used to say with a helpless smile, "Onee-sama really is so cunning.”
She thinks of not taking her “declarations of love” seriously everytime.
Thinks of that night in the dorms, “You don’t have to worry.”
Thinks of that seemingly joking tone at the airport, "If Onee-sama wants Kuroko to stay, then Kuroko won’t go.”
Thinks of those last words: “Onee-sama, goodbye.”
……
“You idiot, explain to me exactly what kind of mood you were in when you said those things...”
The bed sheet crumples in her hands, deforming little by little. Mikoto lowers her head, her voice in this space coming out small.
“If you’re going to be like this, then from what other kind of standpoint can I stop you…”
"Kuroko, have you really thought this through? This is a big matter that will concern your whole life. If you don't want to, then your mother will tell your father right away and ask him to cancel the ceremony, there’s always another way to solve the problem." The woman's eyes are a little red, and at last she tidies up her daughter’s outfit.
Shirai Kuroko wears a light pink floral floor-length dress, her long cherry-blossom colored hair meekly draped, her makeup delicate and not losing the vigor of a girl. She looks just like a forest spirit entering the human world for the first time, pure and beautiful.
"This is the best way, mother, your daughter won’t have any regrets, so there’s no need to be sad." Kuroko smiles softly and wipes away the teardrops from the corner of her mother's eyes. She hugs her mother, then slowly walks towards the young man who is surrounded by the crowd, smiling and laughing at the appropriate moments with the bystanders, though his eyes from time to time occasionally go to look at her.
I wonder if Uiharu and Saten have managed to keep it a secret from Onee-sama… Ah, it can’t have been easy…
Thinking about this, Kuroko thinks of Mikoto's cute cat-like puffed up look when she gets angry. The corners of her mouth are unable to help turning upwards, and before she can suppress her smile, her eyes meet with the young man, who seems to believe that Shirai Kuroko is smiling at him. He also raises a bright smile, before scratching the back of his head, as if somewhat shy.
Well, this is also not so bad.
Kuroko hangs her head, smiles, and continues walking toward the man—
“SHI—RAI KU—RO—KO!!”
The utterly enraged shout comes from a short distance away, enunciating every syllable in her name with extreme volume. All the bystanders’ eyes look toward the source of the voice in astonishment, but before their eyes can lock in on the target, another voice rings out:
“Onee-sama?!”
Misaka Mikoto pushes aside the people in the way and marches one step at a time towards Shirai Kuroko, who is frozen in place.
As she reaches Kuroko, Mikoto's cheeks flush, but still she grabs Kuroko's hand, and then without warning just starts pulling her towards the outside.
Kuroko is dragged forward by Mikoto and nearly falls down. Only after being caught by Mikoto does she recover from her shock and realizes what is happening.
“Onee-sama, why are you—no no no, what do you think you’re doing?!”
Mikoto looks annoyed at the evening dress and shoes Kuroko is wearing. She seems disgusted that the clothes are so troublesome. So in the next second, she simply sweeps up Kuroko in a bridal carry, sending her a quick glance, before saying in a huffy voice, "Hold on, I’m taking you back."
Suddenly being held by Mikoto in such an intimate position, Kuroko's cheeks almost burn into clouds of volcanic ash. Her body reacts faster than her brain can think, and subconsciously, she holds onto Mikoto's neck. Finally, she remembers in time to call out to her parents, who are standing there dumbfounded: "I'll explain later!”
After Mikoto forcibly carries Kuroko out of the engagement ceremony, she still keeps walking with her in her arms without saying a word, and Kuroko is also silent.
Finally, when she feels calm enough, Kuroko lays her face on Mikoto’s neck, and after quite a while, manages to say, "Okay, Onee-sama, put me down.”
Mikoto hears her, stops walking, and pulls a face, still not saying a word, but she gradually relaxes the strength in her upper body and puts Kuroko down.
"Onee-sama, you coming here, Kuroko is very surprised, and also very happy. But, I.... can’t go back with you." As Kuroko carefully tidies up Mikoto’s somewhat messed up clothes, wiping off the sweat from her face, she also speaks very softly.
Looking into Shirai Kuroko's face which is slightly different from before due to her makeup, the hand at Misaka Mikoto’s side gradually clenches into a fist.
“Because you think this is the best way?”
Kuroko is taken aback by Mikoto's question, but before she has the time to react, Mikoto continues.
“Because you think you have to do something for your parents in order to repay them?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why did you try to hide it from me?”
Kuroko opens her mouth as if about to explain, but in the end she can’t say anything, allowing Misaka Mikoto to continue to vent her emotions.
“Do you even know?!”
“This past month, everytime I finished teaching those ignorant alleyway thugs a lesson, and I stood there waiting for you to deal with them, except then I remembered that you’re not there!”
“Everytime I finished kicking that stupid vending machine, and I wanted to share a drink with you, except then I remembered that you’re not there!”
"Everytime I saw a Gekota event that they were doing, and I wanted to drag you along to go with me, except then I remembered that you're not there!"
“Everytime I got back to our dorm room, and I wanted to complain to you about something annoying and share a funny story, except then I remembered that you’re not there!”
“Do you even know, what kind of things that I was feeling?!”
Kuroko’s originally shadowed gaze, because of Mikoto’s words, starts to light up little by little.
“A person like you, with all your accompanying, tolerant, gentle, and weird and perverted actions! When you make someone get used to them, you can’t just leave!”
“And now that this kind of thing has happened, you push me away? You tell me not to worry? You want to just disappear like that from my life?!”
“I won’t allow it!”
Onee-sama, Kuroko’s heart right now feels so sweet, lighthearted.
“What's so great about that guy! One look at him and you can tell he’s clumsy and dumb! So what if he has money! I also have mon—you, you, wait, please don't cry, I’m not trying to hurt your feelings—”
Mikoto still planned on continuing venting, but upon seeing that Kuroko has suddenly started to cry, she panics, her hands and feet going this way and that, not knowing how to provide reassurance—when without warning, Kuroko pulls her into a tight hug.
"Onee-sama, Kuroko is so happy, really, I want to jump up and down and shout out lots of 'YEA!', like that kind of happy. I can’t think of anything in my head right now, my heart is pounding as if it’s about to burst. What am I going to do, Onee-sama, ah, this is all your fault, you have to take responsibility.”
Having finally gathered up the courage to convey her heartfelt feelings, and then being hugged in this way, Misaka Mikoto's tsundereness returns completely, her face flushing red, her whole person unable to help but letting out a bunch of steam. Even so, Misaka Mikoto still hugs Shirai Kuroko back, eyes turning downwards, the corners of her mouth upturning in a smile that she can’t hold back.
“It can’t—can’t be helped, who told you to be such an idiot, so I guess I have no choice but to take responsibility.”
Who told you to be an idiot, to be my idiot.
About White Spring Holdings’ financial problems, they were eventually solved with the help of the Misaka family in some mysterious manner, and the "bride-kidnapping" drama that happened that day was never mentioned again, as if it had never happened in the first place.
But still, all is not peaceful in Academy City—
"Hey, explain this to me, I send you a message and you're too busy to love to respond or not to respond, and yet you have all the time in the world to talk to Saten and Uiharu about every single thing?"
"And a real-time broadcast of the progress of events no less? Huh?”
Mikoto folds up her hands. She looks with a dark expression at Kuroko who currently sits before her shaking with fear and trepidation.
This kind of settling the score has already been going on for one hour.
“It was exactly because of this type of reaction from Misaka-san…”
Despite Saten's extreme efforts, she is unable to prevent Uiharu from speaking up in defense of her friend.
Ah… Hey Uiharu… Don’t you want to live...
Saten slaps a hand to her forehead, lowering her head as she resigns herself to her fate.
Just as expected, in a flash, Misaka Mikoto has turned her head and swept her gaze sharply towards Saten Ruiko and Uiharu Kazari.
"Speaking of which—I haven't settled the score with you two yet! Working with Kuroko to hide everything from me for so long…!”
“But it was exactly because of this type of reaction from Onee-sama (Misaka-san)—”
Three people despair helplessly in their hearts.
The curtains on the same daily life from before are pulled back again, and yet at the same time, it also seems that something is a little different.