Chapter Text
"Well Gee, Byakuya sir, that's explains everything, thank you for your time" said Makoto as he went to exit the room
Byakuya had his face firmly planted on his palm. The little bastard Makoto had been like this all week. Ever since he started dating Kyoko, he'd been trying to improve as a detective to impress her.
When a cookie was stolen from the cafeteria, he jumped at the chance to take the case and had spent the time imitating different television detectives he had picked up techniques from.
The first day, he put his finger to his eyebrow a lot, yelled about having visions, made references Byakuya didn't get, and had Sayaka follow him as his assistant.
The weirdest part was him refusing to call her by her actual name, sticking to "Notsune Miku" and "Methuselah Honeysuckle" and "Crouton Buster"
The second day was even stranger
He wore a suit and tie, and somehow became even more observant. He used a lot of surprisingly effective intimidation tactics to find new evidence, most of which pointing to a series of thefts beyond the cookie happening this entire year. This was bigger then just one missing cookie.
He also called Sayaka "Eames" for reasons beyond Togami's understanding
The third day was the worst
He enlisted not only Sayaka, but Toko and Aoi as assistants, and would constantly pester his friend Hajime for advice. He also was just a massive dick to everyone the whole time, completely honest and frequently calling people stupid. He had at some point found and stolen a cane, it was anarchy.
The weirdest part of the day was when he had a normal conversation with Hajime, and halfway through a sentence, stopped with a far away look in his eye, before running off to check below the cookie jar.
All he deduced that day was that the disease Lupus did not steal the cookie.
The fourth day was a nice break.
He spontaneously developed intense germaphobia and hid in his room the whole day. He did leave one time, but ran back in, yelling something about a whale named Dale.
Today, however, was the day that scared Byakuya the worst.
You see, he had stolen the original items, selling them for his own money to buy things without his parents knowledge, and he was certainly going to get away with it.
That was, until today's Makoto showed up.
His hoodie was raggy, he kept telling homey anecdotes about Komaru and Kyoko, his hair was unwashed, and he was incredibly disarming. He was so nice!
Byakuya was afraid though. He was persistent in questioning him, and wouldn't take no for an answer.
That's why Byakuya was talking to him just now, in the cafeteria, where they had walked from Byakuya's room and Makoto was now leaving to go back to the investigation.
"Oh! Just, uhhh, one more thing" Makoto said quickly, catching Byakuya off guard
"What is it, Naegi?"
"Well sir, I just wanted to tell you that I learned a real interesting thing interviewing Toko just yesterday, real sweet girl when you get to know her, remind me of Ko-"
"Please finish your god forsaken story"
"Sorry mister. It's just, she had the second to last cookie in the jar and noted the last one left was fully chocolate, not chocolate chip like the others"
"Get to the point!"
Byakuya was sweating a fair amount now
"Well sir, I figured a different kind of cookie would leave different crumbs, and I had a suspicion that you were behind all those from the start!"
"I- I See."
"So I lured you away from your room while my assistants investigated."
"You WHAT!?!?!"
"They should be here just about-"
Aoi and Sayaka burst through the door
"Makoto! We've got the evidence you needed! There were still crumbs in the carpeting" Sayaka confirmed
"It's the cookie, I did a taste test" Aoi seconded
"Haha, thanks gals, but where's Miss Fukawa?"
"She's smelling Byakuya's laundry and humping his pillow" Aoi and Sayaka said at the same time
Byakuya ran out, caught red handed, and learned that crime does not pay.
Unless you're Toko then you're getting more than enough from that crime if ya catch my drift.