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It started as something Jaehyun did when he was bored, when he needed background noise for whatever he was doing. Before he found SpiderMark on twitch, he didn’t even have an account. He only used the app to view fun clips his friends sometimes sent him, those that he couldn’t open anywhere else.
But after finding SpiderMark on YouTube one Friday evening at two am while procrastinating going to bed, he figured he should give twitch a try. He had seen ten or so of Mark’s videos before he even decided to go to sleep, and that same morning Jaehyun made a twitch account and coupled his credit card to the website.
Mark is the only streamer Jaehyun is subscribed to. It’s not that Jaehyun doesn’t want to support other streamers — he thinks it’s quite an awesome way to be creative and keep your viewers involved — he just doesn’t like any other streamers.
The only time Jaehyun watches others is when Mark collaborates with someone or joins them on their stream. Mark has a few friends that he joins on stream, and whenever the boy tweets about it Jaehyun can’t help but watch.
The strange thing is, and the thing which makes Jaehyun’s friends laugh the hardest, is the fact that Jaehyun doesn’t like games. Sure, he enjoys the occasional Mario Kart with Jungwoo or Animal Crossing, but he doesn’t consider himself a gamer. He doesn’t really particularly care about it, which makes his obsession with a gamer streamer of all things so strange.
Mark plays horror games — one more thing Jaehyun doesn’t particularly like — and the occasional console game. Jaehyun has watched his entire playlist on The Last of Us two despite never having seen the first game, and he sometimes puts it on just to hear Mark’s cute rambles about how much he loves the franchise.
Luckily, Jaehyun has the economic freedom to support Mark however he wishes. He donates on a regular basis and has one of the more expensive versions of Mark’s twitch subscriptions. Mark knows his name by now and whenever Jaehyun donates or renews his subscription during a stream, Mark will giggle and greet Jaehyun with the cutest fucking wave he has ever seen.
So yeah, Jaehyun admits it, he has a problem.
It’s not like he can do anything about it, really. Mark’s streams are fun to watch when he’s in his own office, working through excel spreadsheets and reports people send him all day. He doesn’t even have to watch, only listen to Mark’s voice while he plays his game, and perhaps if his higher-ups find out he will get reprimanded, but Jaehyun doesn’t care.
Mark’s streams are a nice break from the mundane of Jaehyun’s life. He doesn’t mind the mundane, made a conscious choice to live the life he currently lives, but even he wants some excitement every once in a while. Winning Mark’s one million YouTube subscribers give-away, for instance. Jaehyun feels guilty when he walks past the small figurine that looks exactly like Mark every once in a while, for he would have had the money to pay for it ten times without making a dent in his wallet or savings.
This one is special, though, for it has a short message on the bottom of it that is only meant for Jaehyun to see. He reads it every day, to Doyoung’s amusement, and it always makes him smile.
Jaehyun is aware that obsessing over a boy he has never seen face to face is kind of odd, but it’s not like it’s harming anyone. He isn’t one of those fans who somehow obtains Mark’s phone number and calls him so many times to the point where Mark breaks off his stream with tears in his eyes. Jaehyun still wishes he knew who did that, just so he could have a nice talk with them.
He works for one of the most prestigious safety companies in the world. It’s the least he can do.
Jaehyun blinks, his gaze moving back to his laptop standing on the breakfast bar. The chicken in the pan behind him sizzles in its bath of oil, and Jaehyun knows he should probably be paying attention to that instead of Mark on his screen. The boy is concentrating on this horror game Jaehyun hates — Resident Evil — but he watches, anyway. Even if that means sleeping with the light on for a few days.
Jaehyun watches as Mark sticks out the tip of his tongue, his fingers furiously pressing several buttons on his controller. Jaehyun has no idea what’s happening, but he watches anyway. He takes a sip of his wine, leaning against his kitchen counter, and he sighs. His apartment is quiet around him, the ghost of Doyoung and Jungwoo hanging in the air. They visited that morning and took Jaehyun out for breakfast. Apparently he hadn’t responded to Jungwoo’s texts enough and they had gotten worried.
Not that there’s anything to worry about, but Jaehyun has stopped attempting to tell his friends that.
Just as the quiet of Jaehyun’s apartment gets repeated in Mark’s game, the sound of a donation echoes through his speakers. Mark jumps at the noise, his headphones almost slipping off of his head. His headphones are the ones with the stupid pink cat ears, but Jaehyun likes them. He doesn’t regret that purchase, at all. Even if it was a hassle to find Mark’s PO box.
“Fucking hell — thank you wamana— Jaemin! You scared the shit out of me, dude.” Jaehyun chuckles, shaking his head. Jaemin, one of Mark’s friends who happens to also be a streamer, sends Mark small donations all the time. Of course, he only does it when the game is quiet.
Jaehyun leans across the counter to type something, his donation popping up a few seconds later. Mark stops drinking from his cup — one that Jaehyun has, as well. He can’t help but buy Mark’s merch — a smile spreading across his face. “Jaehyunnie!! Thank you so much.”
The way Jaehyun’s heart warms shouldn’t be normal considering he has never actually met Mark, but he doesn’t look too much into it. Instead, he types a heart in the chat before going back to his chicken. He continues to listen to Mark’s rambling and screaming in the game, the quietness around Jaehyun making room for the noises from his laptop. Jaehyun wishes he had the gall to actually ask Mark out, but he doubts Mark would even say yes. The possibility of the younger boy getting such requests all the time is pretty high, and Jaehyun doesn’t wish to become one of those people any time soon.
A few weeks pass and Jaehyun barely notices. He goes to work, hangs out with his friends and watches Mark’s streams every time he can. He watches him play while he’s in the office, their time zones screwed up that way, but Jaehyun doesn’t mind. His sleep schedule has always been off kilter ever since college, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever have the power to fix it. Besides, living in the city that never sleeps means he does have a tradition to keep up with; no sleeping for him.
Mark lives in Korea somewhere, his timezone in Seoul. Jaehyun doesn’t doubt the boy lives in Seoul himself, can’t imagine Mark living somewhere else other than such a humongous city. It makes Jaehyun remember to text his mother about visiting her soon.
He should probably feel bad about that, but he doesn’t.
Jaehyun moves through the motions of getting ready for yet another day at work. He can hear the streets down below, taxis honking at one another and people yelling in the early morning. He wonders who decided upon the name ‘the city that never sleeps’ because usually, around dinner time, Jaehyun’s block becomes quiet enough to not hear a single thing. Or his apartment is just really well isolated.
“Alexa, please remind me to water the plants today.” Jaehyun says, making the small speaker on his kitchen counter let out a beeping noise. It had been a gag gift from Johnny, one of his co-workers on the same floor, but Jaehyun finds himself using it quite often. His lights and stereo are connected to it already, and perhaps he will invest in shutters that can be controlled with the small technology wonder.
Jaehyun doesn’t care that it listens to whatever he says. It’s not like he says interesting things — he has nothing to hide from the United States government, FBI agents be damned.
“Reminder for ‘watering plants today’ set at six pm.”
Jaehyun hums to himself before taking his work bag, reaching for his phone. A notification from Mark’s twitter pops up and he opens it without looking at it, his Twitter loading. He has two followers — one weird porn bot account and Doyoung — and doesn’t do much with it other than keeping up with Mark and whatever he’s doing.
Jungwoo calls it his stalking account. Jaehyun calls it being an adult.
Jaehyun reads the tweet three times while walking from his apartment to the elevator, greeting the lovely old lady across the hall with a dimpled smile and a wave, before he fully understands what it says.
Mark is coming to New York.
He stands there in front of two opened elevator doors for god knows how long, looking like an absolute fool. Jaehyun shakes his head, trying to get rid of the thought of meeting Mark in his chest as he gets into the elevator and presses the button to the ground floor like a maniac.
His way to work feels like a blur and he arrives at his desk before he knows it. He turns on his computer on autopilot, putting his mug of coffee down and looking up from his keyboard to wave at Johnny sitting in his own glass office across from Jaehyun.
Mark and him are not that far apart age wise. Jaehyun is a healthy twenty-five, close to twenty six — he’s aware it’s only October — and Mark is turning twenty four next year. Mark is a college drop out while Jaehyun finished his economics degree as fast as he could and moved to New York the second his company told him to. Going to a meet-up for a streamer wouldn’t be weird at his age, right?
Jaehyun sits down in his chair, his desktop screaming back at him to put in his password. It’s a Friday, which means that most of the reports have already gone out for the week. Fridays are always the slowest days, and Jaehyun wishes it would pass even faster now.
Johnny clearly sees Jaehyun sitting down as a sign to barge into his office. Jaehyun hears him asking him a question, but his eyes are still trained on his phone. “Dude? Jae?”
“Would it be weird if I went to a meet-up?”
Johnny closes his mouth, raising an eyebrow. Sometimes Jaehyun wonders whether it would be easier to just have a crush on Johnny, on his long legs and hair that looks wonderful both long and short. But, Jaehyun finds himself attracted to Johnny in a ‘oh he’s hot’ kind of way, not in a ‘i want to climb him’ kind of way. Besides, that job is already taken. Ten doesn’t like to share as it is.
“A meet-up? For what? Lonely twenty-six year olds?”
Jaehyun groans, shaking his head. “Twenty-five still, old man. No, a meet-up for SpiderMark.”
Johnny hums, “I don’t think it would be too weird. He knows you, doesn’t he?”
Jaehyun nods at that, “By name, sure.”
“Why wouldn’t it be okay for you to go?”
Johnny’s question makes sense. Perhaps Jaehyun is looking into it far too much. It’s not like he will show up clad in a suit and with his briefcase in hand. He does have casual clothes, ones he wears on breakfast runs with friends and such, and he doesn’t look like he turns twenty-six soon.
“Because I’m—”
“Don’t. Say. A businessman.”
Jaehyun shuts his mouth, looking away from Johnny’s knowing face. “I wasn’t going to.”
Johnny scoffs, “Sure you weren’t. Just go to the meet-up. When is it?”
Jaehyun sighs, taking his phone from his desk. When he unlocks it, Mark’s tweet is the first thing he sees. “Sunday at one.”
“Well, as it happens Ten has a dance workshop to teach around that time and I’m free to go with you. Take Doyoung and Jungwoo with you, we’ll make a day out of it.”
Jaehyun wishes the office protocols weren’t written down in three different languages, hung on every floor. He wants to reach out and throw one of the heavy books on his desk at Johnny and hit him square in the chest. He doesn’t, though. He doesn’t particularly fancy a meeting with his boss today. “Fine. But I doubt Doyoung and Jungwoo want to come.”
They do want to come, expressing their glee with friendly jabs through text messages as Jaehyun makes his way home. He enters his apartment with his post and phone in one hand and his suitcase in the other, and he wants nothing more than to drop all of it and sleep until Sunday. He can’t, though, for he has laundry and shopping to do tomorrow, but the thought remains tempting as he prepares himself dinner and turns on Mark’s stream.
It’s one of the last streams he can do before he leaves for New York tomorrow morning, and Jaehyun already hates it. He knows that twitch streamers lose subscribers when they take a break, but Jaehyun hasn’t even thought of that. Even if Mark decides to not go live for the next two years, Jaehyun is sure he wouldn’t unsubscribe. He doesn’t even notice the twenty bucks leaving his bank account every month along with his rent.
When dinner is done and he has changed into sweats and a hoodie, Jaehyun finds himself excited for Sunday. He takes his phone from the coffee table, taking a sip of his wine as he does so, and opens the groupchat with his friends.
Jae: should i get him a gift
John : Jae i swear to god
Ten: yes. Buy him a watch.
Jae: ????
Ten: so he finally starts his streams on time
Jaehyun snorts, shaking his head. He has the tendency to forget that Ten watches Mark every once in a while because the boy is friends with one of Ten’s favorite YouTubers, Yuta. Yuta is a make-up YouTuber, though, and Jaehyun doubts Yuta will be there with Mark on Sunday. It makes him feel less bad about Ten’s inability to attend.
He drops his phone on the couch next to him with a sigh, allowing his head to fall back. Mark’s stream plays in the background still, the boy updating his Animal Crossing island, and Jaehyun eyes his nintendo switch standing next to the television. If his villagers could die, they would have done so already.
Jaehyun finds he regrets coming to Mark’s meet-up the second he walks onto the block. Mark chose one of the bigger Starbucks cafes, convenient and close to a subway station, and Jaehyun feels like an idiot walking in there wearing his SpiderMark hoodie. It’s cozy and perfect for the air that keeps growing colder and colder, and usually nobody recognizes whatever it says.
Now, though, Jaehyun is surrounded by people who wish to meet the person who designed the hoodie he’s wearing, and he can’t help but feel like people are staring. There’s a significant lack of people his age in the cafe, mostly late teens or very early twenties surrounding him, and he almost turns around to walk right out.
Except, he can’t, for Johnny and his stupidly tale frame are blocking the entrance and Jungwoo looks like he won’t leave the cafe without at least ordering a coffee. Jaehyun can’t really blame him — he wants something to drink as well — but this is New York. There’s a coffee joint on every corner.
He still doesn’t move to walk out the door though, and Jaehyun wishes he could hit himself for his lack of courage. The people around him are surprisingly calm — he expected screaming and yelling fans — but he supposes it makes sense. Mark isn’t a band or an incredibly popular celebrity — he streams himself playing horror games and falling off of his chair every time he does so. He spends nearly seventy-five percent of the donations he gets on charity and makes videos of himself cooking in his kitchen at three am in the morning.
Jaehyun spots Mark standing next to the cash register, a small smile on his face. Even now he looks awkward and out of place, but Jaehyun thinks it’s adorable. He wants to walk over there and introduce himself as the crazy person who donates every stream and has one of the most expensive subscriptions on Mark’s streaming channel, but he doesn’t. Instead, he follows Doyoung who moves through the cafe like he’s done this hundreds of times, his eyes on a small table that somehow doesn’t have any people sitting around it already.
“It looks like he’s greeting everyone who orders something.” Johnny says as he sits down, shooting Jaehyun a very pointed look. Jaehyun pretends to be very interested in the straw wrapper someone left behind, fiddling with it between his fingers.
“I’d like a dragon drink.” Doyoung says, eyeing Jaehyun from across the table. Jungwoo hums, “Same.”
Jaehyun raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say a word. Instead, he turns to Johnny. The older shrugs before opening his mouth. “Just a coffee — and a chocolate chip cookie.”
Doyoung snorts, “You just finished a breakfast burrito.”
Johnny rolls his eyes, “It’s for Ten, you idiot.”
“Oh! It’s apology food.”
Jaehyun wishes he could laugh at Jungwoo’s joke. Instead he’s focused on the way Mark is laughing with someone else, a man that looks around Mark’s own age, and he wishes he had the courage to walk over there, order their drinks and have a chat with Mark, too.
In a non-creepy way, of course. Jaehyun doubts starting a conversation with ‘I’ve watched all of your videos and streams’ will get him on Mark’s good side.
“Go order then, doofus.”
Jaehyun groans, “Why can’t you guys do it?”
“And have you walk out of here without at least a picture? No way. We won’t hear the end of it for months.” Johnny exclaims, making Jaehyun pout at him. The look clearly doesn’t have the desired effect, and Jaehyun sighs before standing up from his seat. He isn’t sure what he wants himself yet, but he’s confident he’ll figure it out along the way.
Due to the fact that Mark is talking to everyone at the register who wants to talk to him, the line is long and moves slow. Jaehyun doesn’t mind all that much, though. It gives him time to think about what he wants to say, what he needs to do before Mark leaves New York again and doesn’t return for a very long time. Perhaps he could slip Mark his number somehow, but he doubts he’s the only one who has tried that today.
Jaehyun watches as Mark talks to several other people, a smile on his face that doesn’t fade or waver. He can’t imagine how taxing this whole ordeal must be for him; Mark confessed to being a massive introvert in one of his videos a year or so ago, and Jaehyun has had his fair share of experience with them himself. Once their social battery runs empty, they shut down.
He makes it to the front of the line quicker than he expected, and orders their drinks with a shy smile. He can feel Mark looking at him from the side, but he doesn’t turn to Mark until the barista has their orders completely right. He doesn’t want to walk out of here with his friends complaining they didn’t get the right drinks or without Ten’s cookie.
“Jaehyun!”
Jaehyun freezes with his credit card held out to the girl behind the counter as Mark’s voice enters his ears while calling his name. He feels his cheeks burn red before managing to hand his card over without dropping it. He slowly turns to look at Mark standing there, a wide eyed look on the younger’s face, and Jaehyun wants to kiss him right then and there.
He doesn’t, though. Instead, he opens his mouth and allows for a weird grunting noise to leave his lips.
Mark giggles, “Yo, dude! I know you! You’re Jaehyun!”
Jaehyun has absolutely no idea how Mark knows who he is. He wants to run and never come back, but he feels the people behind him grow impatient and so he steps out of the line and to the small counter to wait for his drinks. The counter where Mark is standing, already typing away on his phone before he pushes it into Jaehyun’s face.
He blinks, the sudden onslaught of bright light burning at his eyes before his gaze focuses and he finds himself staring at his own Instagram profile. “What the fuck.”
Mark pulls away as if burned, and Jaehyun quickly schools his expression before shaking his head. “No! No — I’m just — what?”
Jaehyun watches as Mark’s ears turn slightly red, his cheeks burning, and he honestly thinks he’ll melt right then and there because holy fuck Mark is adorable. And knows who he is, apparently. “I— well. You donate so much I couldn’t help but — do some googling.”
“Some googling?” Jaehyun knows perfectly well that doing ‘some googling’ isn’t enough to find his Instagram page just from his twitch username. His twitch username is ‘jaejung’ and he doubts Mark would be able to find his Instagram with just that.
Mark closes his eyes, as if ashamed. “Don’t freak out dude but, a friend of mine is very uh — good at these things.”
Jaehyun doesn’t even want to know. Instead, he smiles. Mark’s eyes travel to his cheeks where he knows his dimple is showing, and he feels his usual confidence return to him ever so slightly. “I’m not — I kind of am freaked out? But also honored.”
Mark giggles, “You’re — your pictures don’t do you justice.”
Jaehyun thinks about how all of his pictures on his Instagram are taken by Johnny and about the elder’s already inflated ego. “Don’t tell my friend that.”
Mark nods, “I’ll make sure not to mention it to him.”
Jaehyun doesn’t know what to say to that, and Mark looks like he doesn’t either. “This is — fuck.”
Mark looks back up at him, eyes wide, and Jaehyun decides that it’s all or nothing right now. If Mark says no he will return to Seoul and Jaehyun will stay in New York, miles and miles apart and this will just be a memory Jaehyun will look back on later and hit himself for. But he also knows that he would hit himself harder if he doesn’t take the chance now.
“Yes?”
“This is going to sound weird but — would you maybe want to go out to dinner with me? Sometime? Or a coffee?”
Mark snorts, undignified and relaxed. “Seeing as we’re standing in a Starbucks, I think we technically already had a coffee together. Dinner sounds good though, dude.”
Jaehyun returns to the table his friends are sitting at with a smile on his face, their order in his hands and Lee Mark’s phone number in his phone.
When Mark tweets he’s flying back to Seoul three days later, Jaehyun texts him to have a safe flight and Mark texts him back with the promise to FaceTime Jaehyun once he’s back home. Jaehyun goes to work with a skip in his step and manages to live through Johnny’s knowing glances and Ten’s texts demanding to meet Yuta if it does get serious.
About a month or so later Jaehyun takes a few days off to visit his family in South-Korea and spends one of the seven days with them. The rest he spends with Mark, familiarizing himself with him enough that once he gets back to New York, he has memories to keep him going until he sees Mark face to face again.
When he does miss Mark, though, he merely has to open his laptop and start watching.